Hello person I will never meet in the flesh, the name's funkyrandomer and I adore writing.

I could go into vast detail of what I believe is good writing, reveal my angst about the society I've inherited or publish a lazy repost of a bunch of stereotypes which I don't belong to, but no. I am not here to bore you with such nonsense. I will simply tell you this:

I write because it satisfies me. I believe the best story tellers are not on our newscreen, won't be found in a bookshop or on Amazon. They don't write for the movies. They're not in any papers or magazines. They're in TV, producing stories of astronomical originality. The best TV I've watched is The Sopranoes while my favourite is BBC Sherlock. High contenders include Breaking Bad and House.

Here are some quotes from these series which demonstrate their prowess in terms of superior writing:

The Sopranos

Carmela: What if something should happen?
Tony: You dig out my blue suit, you call up old man Coletti, and tell him not to put too much makeup on my face.

Tony: (on Johnny) The belt was his favourite child development tool.

Tony: I'm glad if he's proud of me but that's the bind I'm in, cause I don't want him to be like me.

Livia: It's a crime, to suspend that child from school with all the money you give them.

Tony: Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to the son. They're up on this hill and looking down on a bunch of cows. And the son goes to the father, "Dad, why don't we run down there and f*k one of these cows?" Now do you remember what the father said? Father says, "Son, why don't we walk down there and f*k them all?"

Tony: This psychiatry s*t, apparently what you're feelin' is not what you're feelin' and what you're not feelin' is your real agenda.

Meadow: Did the Cusamano kids ever find $50,000 in Krugerrands and a .45 automatic while they were hunting for Easter eggs?

Junior: You heard about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand.

Tony: I think about my father, he never reached the heights like me. But a lot of way he had it better. He had his people, they had their standards, and pride. Today, what have we got?

House:

Patient: Are you this rude to all your patients?
House: Yes. Don't think you're special.

House: (on a cell phone call with a patient) I'm sorry, I'm about to lose you because I'm about to drive into a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up on you.

House: (getting out of a conversation with Dr. Wilson): Gotta go! Building full of sick people, if I hurry, maybe I can avoid them.

House Treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.

House: Everybody lies.

House: (diagnosing an African-American patient) You're turning white.
Patient's Mother: What does that mean?
House: It means he doesn't need football to get a good job anymore.

Foreman: Her oxygen saturation is normal.
House: It's off by one percentage point.
Foreman: It's within range.
House: If her DNA was off by one percentage point, she'd be a dolphin.

BBC Sherlock:

John I just met a friend of yours.
Sherlock surprised: A friend?
John: An enemy.
Sherlock: Oh! Which one?
John: Your archenemy, according to him. Do people have archenemies?
Sherlock: Did he offer you money to spy on me?
John: Yes.
Sherlock: Did you take it?
John: No.
Sherlock: Pity, we could have split the fee. Think it through next time.

Sherlock: I'm not a psychopath, Anderson. I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

Sherlock: I've disappointed you.
John: Good. That's good deduction. Yeah.
Sherlock: Don't make people into heroes John. Heroes don't exist and if they did I wouldn't be one of them.

John: I'm starving. Do we have anything in? Opens refrigerator, sees head inside, closes it
John: A severed head.
Sherlock: From other room Just tea for me, thanks.
John: No, there is a head in the fridge.
Sherlock: Yes.
John: A bloody head!
Sherlock: Where else was I supposed to put it? You don't mind do you?

Sherlock: firing at the wall: Bored! Bored! Not much got in to the criminal classes. Good job I'm not one of them.
John: So you take it out on the wall.
Sherlock: Ah, the wall had it coming.

Sherlock: Look, it doesn't matter to me who's Prime Minister or who's sleeping with who.
John: Whether the Earth goes around the sun.
Sherlock: Oh god, that again. It's not important!

Lestrade: Any ideas?
Sherlock: Seven. So far.

Sherlock: Oh enjoying the thrill of the chase is fine. Craving the distraction of the game, I sympathize entirely. But sentiment, sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.
Irene Adler: Sentiment. What are you talking about?
Sherlock: You.
Irene Adler: Oh dear god, look at the poor man. You don't actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you're the great Sherlock Holmes? The clever detective in the funny hat?
Sherlock: No. Because I took your pulse.

Sherlock: appearing drenched in blood: Well that was tedious.
John: You went on the Tube like that?
Sherlock: None of the cabs would take me.

Sherlock: Dominatrix...
Mycroft: Don't be alarmed. It's to do with sex.
Sherlock: Sex doesn't alarm me.
Mycroft: How would you know?

Sherlock: Look at them. They all care so much. Do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?
Mycroft: All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage, Sherlock.

Moriarty: Every fairy tale needs a good old-fashioned villain. You need me or you're nothing. Because we're just alike, you and I, except you're boring. You're on the side of the angels.

Breaking Bad

Walter: Short speech. You lost your partner today. What's his name – Emilio? Emilio is going to prison. The DEA took all your money, your lab. You got nothing. Square one. But you know the business and I know the chemistry. I'm thinking...maybe you and I could partner up.

Jesse: Some straight like you, giant stick up his ass, age what – 60? He's just gonna break bad?
Walter: I'm 50.
Jesse: It's weird is all, okay? It doesn't compute. Listen, if you've gone crazy or something...I mean, if you've...if you've gone crazy or depressed, I'm just saying...that's something I need to know about. Okay? I mean, that affects me.
long pause
Walter: I am awake.

Jesse: Your freaking wife told me when she was here all up on my shit! Yeah, that's right. She almost caught me moving Emilio! Good job wearing the pants in the family! And why did you go telling her I was selling you weed?
Walter: Because somehow it seemed preferable to admitting that I cook crystal meth and killed a man.

Jesse: A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place?
Walter: What's wrong with it? It's private.
Jesse: This is...This is like a...a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet. This is like, "Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me."

Jesse: The game has changed, yo. This is our city, alright? All of it. The whole damn place. Our territory. We're staking our claim. Yo, we sell when we want, where we want. We're gonna be kings, understand? Well, I'm gonna be king and you guys will be, like, princes or dukes or something.
Badger: I wanna be a knight.

Jesse: Look, you remember Emilio? 'Kay, this dude got Emilio off, like, twice. 'Kay, both times they had him dead to rights, yo, and then poof. Dude's like Houdini. Seriously, when the going gets tough, you don't want a criminal lawyer. Alright, you want a criminal lawyer. You know what I'm saying?

Jesse: I am not turning down the money! I'm turning down you! You get it?! I want nothing to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to shit, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg! I have never been more alone! I have NOTHING! NO ONE! ALRIGHT, IT'S ALL GONE, GET IT? No, no, no, why...why would you get it? What do you even care, as long as you get what you want, right? You don't give a shit about me! You said I was no good. I'm nothing! Why would you want me, huh? You said my meth is inferior, right? Right? Hey! You said my cook was GARBAGE! Hey, screw you, man! Screw you!
Walter: Your meth is good, Jesse. As good as mine.

Saul: If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.

Walter: How did everything get so screwed up?
Saul: Yeah, you do seem to have a little "shit creek" action going.
pause
Saul: You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.

Skylar: Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family.

Thanks for dropping by, I hope you enjoy my own creations!