7/18/20-Hey, everyone! So, if you have not heard it today, let me just say it's okay to be scared. We are living in a scary world right now. But we are living right now; and that gives us a fighting chance. If you need to help, lean on somebody. If you don't have anybody, look at yourself mirror. See that guy? He knows what you're going through 'cause he's been going through it for the same amount of time. Talk to him, he looks like he needs an ear.

...Alright, enough of this gooey sh...ow of emotion. Allow me to introduce myself-

Future Career: Writer

Favorite Show: Doctor Who (Jodie Whitaker knocked it out of the park!)

Favorite Program: Svengoolie (Classic horror movies with humor on the side!)

Favorite Games: Scrabble, Uno, Mafia, Batman: Arkham Series, Spider-Man PS4, Uncharted series, Persona 5, aaaaaaand BioShock Infinite.

Favorite Heroes: My mom, Hulk, Batman, Spider-Man, Jim Carrey, Holly Black

Favorite Books: Harry Potter (Books 1-4, anyway...), Alex Rider Series, Every book Rick Riordan writes, Things Fall Apart, Which Witch, The Old Man and the Sea, A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, The Prince, and The Round House

And now,...

The following messages are from several other pages, Ved Ltd. does not own these, but he finds them interesting enough to take time and post them here, and no, he also doesn't know who came up with them.

WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"

"Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson

"That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg

"To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare

"I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry

"Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin

"And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses

"To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong

"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush

"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss

"In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa

"Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld

"The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon

"This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein

"I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreen's to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in Latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

XXX

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't we ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed would milk come out of her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Why does the word Filipino start with the letter "F"?

And now: QUOTES!

"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do insult them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes." – Anon.

"What if we promoted, like, Adidas shoes? Would that make Nike mad enough to show up?"-Percy Jackson

"Yeah, I bet that would totally be against her sponsorship deal. THOSE ARE NOT THE OFFICIAL SHOES OF THE OLYMPICS! YOU WILL DIE NOW!" -Leo Valdez

"You're both impossible." -Hazel Levesque

"YOU WILL DIE NOW!" -Nike, Greek God of Victory (The Blood of Olympus)

"Oh, no! Popcorn! Our fatal weakness!" -Hazel Levesque

"Try harder! That popcorn was not fatal!" -Nike (The Blood of Olympus)

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."- Jareth (Labyrinth)

Nostalgic for 80s fantasy films. When glitter was cheap, monsters were Muppets, and Evil was wicked (in a good way)!

But who could resist when given a kiss by the infamous Damien Thorn (I don't quite agree with this one.)

When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers, ‘tis near Halloween.

"Oh I stab and chop and punch at will, I wear a skirt that's called a kilt, don't have a beard but I'm Scottish still; cause I'm the William Wallace"- How Braveheart Should Have Ended

“The sharp knife of a short life, well, I’ve had just enough time. So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls, what I never did is done. A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar, they're worth so much more after I’m a goner. And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’. Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’”- If I Die Young (The Band Perry)

"When in danger, or in doubt, Run in circles, scream and shout."- Unknown

"I'm on a horse."- Hot Guy (an Old Spice commercial) (Isiah something was his name...)

"My lord... I can explain-"- Louis-Cesare

"I am sure there is a perfectly good reason why my niece is naked and tied to her bed. I am also equally certain that I do not wish to hear it."- Radu (Midnight's Daughter by Karen Chance)

“You smell funny.”- CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest)

"There are so many idiots who's asses I have to kick! I'll have to start carrying around a list!"- Ed (Full Metal Alchemist)

"It was about as unbelievable as if you had fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you," Rutherford, a scientist in the 1900's, of his gold foil experiment.

"Disturbing? Who am I disturbing? This is a coma ward! Don't you WANT them to wake up?"- House (House)

"Five hundred years ago they'd have burned you at the stake. And I'd have been in the audience, poking the fire."- Jacquline (The Seventh Sinner, Elizabeth Peters)

"It has been said many times that Lord Yomi is capable of hearing every word uttered in his domain." –Houkishin

"Really, is that so?...Yomi! You son of a bitch! You hear me?! I'm coming! So boil up a kettle of tea!...You think he heard that?" -Yusuke

"Quite diplomatic, sir." -Houkishin (Yu Yu Hakusho)

"You are a manipulator."- Mary

"I like to think of myself as an outcome engineer."- Rhage (Lover Eternal by J. R. Ward)

"V, just the other day you threatened to use that hand of yours on me. Remember? When I told you what I thought about that goatee monstrosity?"- Rhage

"I had to do something to shut you up. Every damn time I've run into you since I grew it, you ask me if I've French-kissed a tailpipe."- Vishous

"And I'm still convinced you're doing my GTO, you bastard."- Rhage (Lover Eternal by J. R. Ward)

"When did you learn how to be to persuasive?"- Tier

"When I discovered it was more useful to have pawns to do what I wanted them to then it was to kill them all and do it myself."- Seraph (Raven's Shadow by Patricia Briggs)

"You so need to lighten up about that potato-launcher incident."- Butch

"You broke my window."- Phury

"Of course we did. V and I were aiming for it."- Butch

"Twice."- Phury

"Thus proving that he and I are outstanding marksmen."- Butch (Lover Unbound by J. R. Ward)

"There aren't any syringes."- Jane

"I've got some. I know you'll use this wisely."- Butch

"Wisely? No, I'm going to poke him in the eye with it. Because that's what they trained me to do in medical school."- Jane (Lover Unbound by J. R. Ward)

"Why is it that the first thing someone does when you've cracked your ribs is make a joke?"- Tier

"You don't have cracked ribs. You have broken ones."- Brewydd (Raven's Shadow by Patricia Briggs)

"How do I look?"- Ward

"Like you've been poisoned and are waiting to die."- Tosten (Dragon's Blood by Patricia Brigs)

"Women are the bloodthirsty sex. We get the reputation, but it is only because the women stand behind, and say, 'Kill it. Squish it.'"- Ric (Hunting Grounds by Patricia Briggs) (canned laughter plays) ???

“Nate’s going to kill you. ”- Hardison

“I’m going to kill you.”- Elliot

“Stop whining.”- Parker

“I got hit by a car!”- Elliot

“Wah, I got hit by a car. Get over it!”- Parker

“I’m gonna kill her man, I’m gonna kill her.”- Elliot

“Hey, hey, no ones going to kill anyone. But seriously, Nate’s going to kill you.”- Hardison

“Who are you people?”- Girl

“We’re the good guys!”- Parker (Leverage)

“Parker, where did you learn how to drive?”- Elliot

“Before I stole cars I was a get-a-way driver.”- Parker

“Before? You started stealing cars when you were twelve!”- Hardison (Leverage)

"Do you have anything evidence? Ya know, something we can all look at and go 'ah!'"- Chief Pope (The Closer)

"What makes a good marriage? Patience."- Lieutenant Tao

"Patience, and separate bathrooms."- Lieutenant Tao's wife (The Closer)

"Up until this point, you guys have avoided the big mistakes people make in a relationship. Getting married, buying a house, and having kids. I look at this wedding as a big red flag."- Detective Lt. Pravenza (The Closer)

“Your first husband also disappeared”-Wadsworth

“But that was his job, he was an illusionist.”- Mrs. White

“But he never reappeared!”-Wadsworth

“He wasn't a very good illusionist.”-Mrs. White (Clue) (Ved face-vaults)

"I thought I was crazy, Urameshi, but ye take th' prize fer tha'! Ye don' make bombs go BOOM in yer face!"- Jin (Yu Yu Hakusho)

"Didn't your mother tell you not to play with fire? Maybe you weren't listening or you were too busy burning the house down."- Kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin)

"We've just witnessed what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is 'being an ass'."- Shigure (Fruits Basket)

"Well, what if I shoot him in the eye? Then he'll be blind right? Oh wait, he has two eyes. Damn!"- Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho)

"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."- James H. Kabbler III. (I'm American and I agree!)

“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.” -Jack Handy (Sounds like something my grandpa would say.)

“Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.”- Rick
”Think of my children!”- Beni
”You don't have any children.”- Rick

“Someday I might.”- Beni (The Mummy) (Spoiler Alert: He doesn't get kids, but something wears him down to the bone!)

“This is a revolution, dammit! We're going to have to offend somebody!” -John Adams (1776)

“Gasp! You'll die, but don't worry, you'll live through it."-Unknown

“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.”- Alex Levine

"People only site sources as unknown because they don't know how to spell anonymous."- Unknown

"I talked to McGonagall about the Firebolt today and she got a bit cheeky. Seems she thinks that I care more about winning the game than your safety. All I said was that I didn’t care if the broom bucked you off as long as you caught the Snitch first.”- Wood (Harry Potter)

“Studying hard is very, very tiring. All those books. All those words. I can’t be good for a person…”- Serena (Sailor Moon)

“Like the saying, they can cut your skin as long as you break their bones.”- Botan (Yu Yu Hakusho)

“I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west”- Rodney Dangerfield

“The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling, "You want a piece of me?"- Robin Williams

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.”- Robin Williams

“Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.”- Joan Rivers

“I have a plan. We will play rock-paper-scissors. The one who loses cuts off his hand. Then he will take his hand, go to Chopper and ask him to sew it back.”- Zoro

"How can you say such a scary thing with such a straight face?”- Usopp (One Piece)

“Who has the gall... to place a kitten in my path!”- Hancock (One Piece)

“Smoke! Where there's smoke there's... FOOOD!”- Luffy (One Piece)

“I've heard stories about the Black Pearl...they leave no survivors.”- Prisoner
“If there aren't any survivors, then where do all the stories come from, I wonder?”- Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl)

"Yusuke you idiot! So tough! So freakin' bad-ass... and you die in traffic! That's a wimp’s death! I didn't raise no wimp! Moron..."- Atsuko (Yu Yu Hakusho)

“Did no one come to save me because they missed me?”- Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End)

“Where did all the rum go?”- Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl)

“Now where did that monkey go? I want to shoot something.”- Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest)

“There will come a moment when you will have a chance to show it. To do the right thing.”- Elizabeth Swann

“I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.”- Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest)

“This is either madness... or brilliance.”- Will Turner
“It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.”- Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl) (And now for something different.)

(...whoops, I lied!)

“She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.”- Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl) (Enough of the POTC quotes!)

"God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs"- Dr. Ian Malcolm
"Dinosaurs...eat man, woman inherits the Earth."- Dr. Ellie Sattler (Jurassic Park)

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!"- Emo Philips

"My loyalty cannot be bought, however, it can be rented."- Unknown

“There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.”- Unknown

“You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.”- Proverb

“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”- Unknown

Mmmmm, that's good!-JJ (Good Times)

“When you wish upon a falling star, Your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.”- Unknown

"The earth? Oh, the earth will be gone in a few seconds...I'm going to blow it up. It's obstructing my view of Venus."- Marvin the Martian

"Your weapons are no match for ours! People of Mars, surrender!"- Unknown

"Um, this isn't Mars. This is Earth."- Unknown

"Earth? Earth-with-nuclear-weapons Earth?"- Unknown

"Yes."- Unknown

"... Friend!!"- Unknown

"I'm not interested in the future. I'm interested in the future of the future." - Robert Donigan, 1996

"Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory does not understand it." - Neils Bohr, 1927

"Nobody understands quantum theory." - Richard Feynman, 1967

"If you ask me, I think that marriage is a story in which the hero dies in the first chapter..." - Zapwing

"I don't know what's worse...The pain... or the humiliation..." -Friend of mine.

"When in doubt, nuke it."

"Well...on a scale of horrible to catastrophic, I'd say this is a complete disaster..." -Stork, Carrier Pilot.

"Do you ever get the feeling you're stuck in a cliche?"

"Nullum magnum Ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit." - A Latin Phrase (Translation: There has not been any great talent without an element of madness.) Isn't that true!

"Rident stolidi Verba Latina."- A Latin Phrase (Translation: Fools laugh at the Latin language.)

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism (or if this is funny to you)

If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like Japanese AND American cartoons, copy and paste this into your profile.

And now...

The longest word in the English Language:
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You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _"
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the Cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just can't resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2, and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when everything was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new Lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is. I owned one!
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing. I used to think that a dollar for a gallon of gas was a lot of money
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When GameBoy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things

Warning! This next post will probably pull some heartstrings!

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not, please, it's so scary.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug

She gave him a big hug

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people

were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the

breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she

loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he would die.

If you would do this for someone you loved, post this on your page.

Murphy's Laws of Combat

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
5. The problem with the easy way out is that it has already been mined.
6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
   1. when you're ready for them.
   2. when you're not ready for them.
9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
10. If you can't remember, then the claymore IS pointed at you.
11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
13. If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush.
14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
16. If you build yourself a bunker that's tough for the enemy to get into quickly, then you won't be able to get out of it quickly either.
17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
19. When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
21. Friendly fire isn't.
22. If the sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
23. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass.
25. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
26. A grenade with a seven-second fuse will always burn down in four seconds.
27. Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
28. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air-strike.
29. Exceptions prove the rule and destroy the battle plan.
30. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the colonel's HQ.
31. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
32. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
33. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
34. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
35. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
36. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
37. Interchangeable parts aren't.
38. No matter which way you have to march, it's always uphill.
39. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove ANYTHING.
40. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
41. The one item you need is always in short supply.
42. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
43. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
44. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
45. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
46. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
47. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want.
48. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
49. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
50. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
51. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
52. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor.
53. A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
54. Murphy was a grunt.

This link was an idea from RabulaTasa, a terrific writer!

Marine Corps Rules for Gun Fighting

The Marine Corps Birthday makes me nostalgic for the good ol’…well, maybe good is too strong a word. In fact, I can't say that I miss being on active duty; but I do miss being with my fellow Marines.

Thinking about my friends who are getting shot at by ungrateful Iraqis reminded me of this list, an old Corps favorite, on how to act in a gunfight:

1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.

5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

16. Don't drop your guard.

17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.

18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them.

19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

23. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4."

Navy Rules for Gunfighting:

1. Go to Sea

2. Send the Marines

3. Drink Coffee

Your One And Only Wish

Do it one by one, don't look ahead! (It is worth it.)

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. Oddly enough, someone from long ago...

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? Red, duh.

3. Your first initial? D

4. Your month of birth? June (Go Geminis!)

5. Which color do you like more, black or white? Black

6. Name a person of the same sex as yours. My brother

7. Your favorite number? Lucky number seven

8. Do you like California or Florida more? The Sunshine State! ...that's Florida, right?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? Ocean (Love the view!)

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one) To find a place I fit in completely. (This is real personal...so, yeah, no questions...)

Are you done? Yeah.

If so, scroll down. Fine.

(don't cheat--) Geez! Just show me!!

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person. Wait, what?

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Oh...

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. Yeah, I guess.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that won't last long but

the memories will last forever. Again with the love!

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually, you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. Alright.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do and will do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend. Naturally.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. Well, guess I better start looking...

8. If you choose...

California: You like an adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person. Alright.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. But how-

10. This wish will come true if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! As of this post, that actually has happened, but this prediction was off by a few years.

Stories:

The Mighty WarrHammer (in progress)

Pirate Jukebox (in progress)

WarrHammer Infinite (coming...later)

Bios:

Name: X-W.9.R.R.

Alias: "X"

-Appearance

--Skin: Silver grey (Caucasian)

--Hair: Short, straight, platinum (brown)

--Eyes: Hazel

--Height: A little tall

--Weight: Surprisingly dense

--Build: Narrow

-Power: Omnitrix,?

-Traits: Reserved, helpful, curious