This Is Me

Hey, folks. I guess, since you're here on my profile page, you want to know a bit about me. I'm Jess, or Jaybear - take your pick; fourteen years old, English, and really, really screwed up. Sexual orientation, God knows, but I think I'm either a lesbian or pansexual with a strong preference for girls. My username comes from the lyrics of the song Dreaming Wide Awake by Poets of the Fall, and I chose it because I feel it sums me up pretty well: "With me, disaster finds a playfield," and I do tend to attract disaster. Seriously, it loves me. I am disaster's playfield. I love to write, as should be fairly well obvious from the fact I'm on this website in the first place, but there's more to me than that. I love the outdoors, immersing myself in the wilderness, and more importantly I have great respect for it; I will do everything I can and willingly take any conceivable risk to fight for its survival, the preservation of our planet. Animals mean more to me than most people do, although whether that's something positive or negative I have yet to figure out. I also love sports, and I will be the first to admit to my adrenaline junkie tendencies - my dream job is to be an adventure naturalist, combining vital conservation awareness work with extreme sports, incredible new worlds and beautiful wild animals in desperate need of help.

Recently, I was reading another author's profile page, and I had something of a revelation. They mentioned how they felt like they were 'made up' of three other people, all people who they idolised - as though the celebrities were a part of them, if that makes sense? And before I read that, I hadn't realised other people felt that way...I didn't realise it was okay to feel like that. And, I don't know, maybe it isn't okay. Maybe it's worrying, to have that level of devotion to somebody. I don't know, and I don't care. At least I'm not alone in feeling like this. Because I do, I do feel like I'm made up of three different people, not separate personalities but three other people combined and made into one: Steve Backshall, Dylan Weir and David Draiman. Just being able to write this gives me a sense of...I don't know, freedom? I've never been able to admit this before, and I have no idea why this is such a big thing for me, but...there you go. It's out there now.

I have no friends outside of the internet, and I honestly don't care. Friends are people you connect with, people you can give all of yourself to, whether that's online or face-to-face. I'm lucky enough to have met some incredible people through this website and on Tumblr, and I love them with all my heart and more besides. Theanimekitty89, an immensely talented RPer, my fellow Ben 10 lover and Brokken shipper. GlowBlade998, who is as obssessed with Monsuno as I am and is also one of the funniest people I know. ChibiDragonGilbert, my selfless guiding light, who is willing to help me whenever I need her, and doesn't deserve any of the struggles and pain she is forced to face. DrGiggles, another hardcore Dyvan shipper, still flipping out over the intense PNW feels despite the cancellation of the show and all the time that's passed with no new seasons. And Kaishei. The fragment of my soul that I somehow managed to misplace. My everything.

Listen up. This is important. My inbox is always open, for anyone who needs to talk. I may be clingy, emotional, ever so slightly insane in so many different ways, prone to going off on the weirdest tangents and overly friendly to complete strangers, but I'm loyal. If you want me to listen, I'll listen. If you want someone to help you, or just to try and make sense of things, I'll do that, or at least attempt to. If you just want a friend, I'll be your friend. Whether I know you or not, whatever our previous history together, I'm here for you all and I'll do whatever I can to help you; I'll get back to any messages as soon as I get online. And that's a promise.

So, this is me, I guess. Now that's over, I can get on to the more interesting stuff.

Jaybear out!

Stuff I Love

TV Shows/Movies: Primeval is my ultimate love, and possible the greatest TV show of all time - and yes, this includes the spin-off Primeval: New World. I have a lot of ships from those two shows, but my main ones have to be Stephen/Nick, Matt/Becker, Stephen/Ryan...and, of course, my OTP of all time, Dylan/Evan. Another Canadian dinosaur show I love is Dinosapien, but sadly, the fandom for this is nonexistent, so I must fangirl over Kit/Lauren alone. In the Flesh, Monsuno, Victorious, Prehistoric Park, Dinosaur King and Dance Academy are other shows I love watching. Bottom line, if it has dinosaurs in it, I will probably adore it. Or if it's a wildlife documentary. I love wildlife documentaries. As for movies...Into the Wild, Sharing the Secret and Painful Secrets are my top three movies at the moment. No, wait, I tell a lie. My absolute favourite movie right now is The History Boys. So, yeah. Those are my top four movies.

Books: I love reading almost as much as I love writing. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's book The Lost World is my favourite novel, whilst my favourite book series is The Falcon Chronicles by Steve Backshall. Stephen King is a big inspiration in my own work, especially my original fiction, and my favourite of all his novels are definitely The Long Walk and The Tommyknockers. Steve Cole's Z.REX trilogy is pretty damn incredible...the Gone series, by Michael Grant, that was breathtaking...all of the Primeval novels are brilliant, too. And Looking for Adventure, Steve Backshall's autobiography, that's definitely worth a read, along with Life on Air, David Attenborough's autobiography.

Music: Poets of the Fall. That is basically all you need to know. Well, no, it's not, but they're my favourite musicians by a very long way, and the only band that even comes close to them is a Christian metal group called Red. I tend to go for more obscure artists, that aren't particular popular, as you can probably tell...other lesser-known bands I like are Phoenix Effect, Flogging Molly and Wolfheart. Then there are the singers - Gavin Mikhail, Megan McCauley, Madilyn Bailey and Ingrid Michaelson are my favourites right now. Oh, and slightly more popular bands I love - Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Evanescence, Bullet For My Valentine and Disturbed.

Works In Progress

So, right now I'm going through and rewriting my old stories, but I do have some new ones on the go as well! This is a list of new fics that I'm working on, and hope to have up soon.

[Currently Untitled: PNW: Set post-Angry Birds. Evan insists the wound on his leg is fine. Dylan's not so sure.

Into the Hurricane [working title: Primeval/PNW: Of course they'd changed something. It was the only explanation for the sudden changes to the anomaly junction. But from modern-day Vancouver to...this? One small mistake, a flaw in the space-time continuum, creates a butterfly effect bigger than anybody could ever have guessed, giving way to a future that Connor had thought was buried forever.

We're All Kinda Broken: PNW: Alcohol, loss and the end of the world as you knew it is never a good combination. Fortunately for Dylan, she doesn't have to suffer alone...but that in itself brings about a whole new set of complications.