Xephyr-Holmes
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Joined 05-31-12, id: 4032092, Profile Updated: 01-10-13
Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, and Homestuck.

Name: Xephyr

Age: 22

Gender: Male

Born in: New Zealand. You know, G'day, Mate, bro, Maori, that place.

I like: Lots of things. Doctor Who, Torchwood, Naruto, Death Note, Bleach, and various other Manga.

I dislike: People who are stereotypical, racist, sexist, Homophobic, and generally rude.

I'm gay. If you can't handle that, please go stick your head in some sand and take a deep breath.

I also make lots of OC's. Please don't kill me. D:

NOTE ON MY FANFIC/S:

I have two fanfics that I'm writing right now, so if you're only reading one of them, that's why they may take a while to update.


This is my new partner in crime:

Name: Ryhpex

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Born in: New Zealand.

I like: Writing, especially writing fighting/torture/violence/horror scenes.

I dislike: People who think I'm insane. *Eye twitch*

[Insert extremely witty and amusing comment here]


PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!

... Tomorrow!


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. (For your information, I'm wiry.)

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I am SPACEY, so i MUST be an idiot.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. (Well, DUH.)

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. (WHOA, REALLY?)

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I am a MIX of near every natonality, so i MUST look like a horrible muttation of nature.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly, fat, obsessive, or completely crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (I'll make you ugly if you say this to my face. I'M NOT UGLY.)

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork. (*sniff* that hurts!)

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. (Uh, no.)

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. (No, I just VANT to SUCK your BLUUUD!)

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I DON'T HAVE MANY FRIENDS, so I MUST be a scary, evil, wack-job waste of space.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone (Ha ha! Oh wait, you were serious. BWAHAHAHA!).

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (Got it in one.)

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (Ha, ha, no, uh, definitely not...)

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. (Oh I do, eh? Nah, JK.)

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. (Wait, wait, what? GIRLfriend?)

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (Again, I VANT to SUCK your BLUUUD!)

I DON'T LIKE BLOOD, so I MUST be a complete WUSS.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I CURSE LIKE A SAILOR, so I MUST be a total JERK.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching bands, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist. (BURN! BURN IN THE FIRE!)

I'm EMOTIONAL, so I MUST be a wimp.

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time. (how do you even dance like a cat, anyway?)

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST be negative.

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try.

I'm POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.

I have more than 5 friends, so I MUST be a prep


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Silver Strips by AwesomeNumber-Fan reviews
Re-revised! A father-son camping trip spirals downhill when werewolves, witches and Sannins are thrown into the fray. Real world, meet Kakashi - yeah, Iruka has a hard time seeing past that possessive, werewolf exterior too... Rating has gone up due to Adult Themes.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 87,012 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 2/19/2015 - Published: 7/13/2011 - Naruto U., Kakashi H., Iruka U.
Amenaza by Alban55 reviews
After Naruto dies, he changes into a Hollow. This single death will change the lives and afterlives of many. And it's not exactly for the better.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 66 - Words: 399,441 - Reviews: 4021 - Favs: 4,397 - Follows: 3,306 - Updated: 7/22/2014 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Naruto U. - Complete
Land of Humans and Trolls by Xotx reviews
On their way to the Green Sun, trolls and humans get knocked off course and into their scratched universe which is mysteriously inhabited by both species. Main pairing is Gam/Kar. Multi-chap and different POVs. Warning: Blood, smut, etc. Not for kiddies.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 202,857 - Reviews: 483 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 3/2/2014 - Published: 4/17/2012 - Gamzee M., Karkat V.
Marik and Bakura's Advice Column! by StickWithaPseudonym reviews
Come one, come all. Ask for advice or shoot a question to your favorite YuGiOh characters! This is Rated M for violence and language. Marik and Bakura should accept any question, so come along and ask away. Who knows, you might just smile a bit :D Results may vary, Abridged style.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 28,662 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 8/24/2013 - Published: 7/2/2012 - Marik I., Yami Bakura
Uchiha Potter by Chosha Kurenai reviews
After Voldemort's fall, Harry was raised as an Uchiha with his cousins Sasuke and Itachi, unaware of his other heritage. How will Hogwarts deal with this kunai-weilding, Ass-kicking Uchiha Harry Potter?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 25 - Words: 300,157 - Reviews: 2455 - Favs: 4,199 - Follows: 4,346 - Updated: 6/5/2013 - Published: 11/20/2006 - Harry P., Sasuke U.
Ironic Fate by Bard of Chaos reviews
What will happen to the world of Soul Reapers when a amnesiac fox named Uzumaki Naruto shows up? Lost and confused, what will he do in this strange new world when he can't even remember his past? Cooked up with large doses of chaos and humor. Please talk with doctor before reading. On Hiatus
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 39,442 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 676 - Updated: 4/8/2013 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Naruto U.
Hetalia Truth or Dare Show! by Moonlightgirl513 reviews
I have gotten together some of the countries from Hetalia for you to demand or requests truths and dares. Feel free to ask what you wish. Rules are inside. Rated T Rating may change
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 55,275 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/13/2012 - Published: 12/11/2011
Unworthy by Sasukefreek13 reviews
Sasuke is a young vampire who was living a rather modest life until the day known as: Downfall. All vampires deemed unworthy by more powerful vampires were forced into slavery and made to wear collars labeling them as pets. It was the day that vampires were put into classes and unfortunately, Sasuke fell right down to the bottom. He's bought by Orochimaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,416 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/1/2012 - Published: 10/25/2012 - Sasuke U., Orochimaru
How To Serve Man by iamofthedesert reviews
Again, Song-fic. Deidara's a new Jashinist, so Hidan wants to help him out with rituals. Things don't go to Deidara's liking. Rated for Gore, Duh.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 641 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Deidara, Hidan - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Last Slice reviews
Dave never gets the last slice of pizza. It's always his Bro who snatches it at the last second. But he's going to change that, with a cleverly thought out plan, which doesn't exactly go how he wants it to... Yaoi, Male/Male sex, incest, swearing, Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Stridercest, and Bro. Might be some violence, probably not. Rated M for a reason.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,700 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 5/1/2013 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Dirk S., Dave S.
Rescue - KakaIru reviews
Iruka has been missing for three days. He is not anywhere in the village, so Kakashi, Shino, and Kiba have been made into a temporary team to find him. Warning: Blood, violence, torture, yaoi (Male/Male sex) More warnings for each chapter specifically inside. Rated M for a reason.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,554 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/27/2013 - Published: 1/6/2013 - Kakashi H., Iruka U.
Make me Whole KakaIru reviews
Iruka's been feeling strange recently... Eating and sleeping less, avoiding people, having strange dreams about a certain silver-haired Ninja... KakaIru. Contains Yaoi, BoyXboy, male-male smut, etc. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Set in Shippuden. A bit OOC.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,725 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/3/2013 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Kakashi H., Iruka U.