hiiiiiiii!
ITS MATT.

i hope you my stories!!!!

Name: secret! and yes, Matt Walters is just a pen name! and i AM a girl.

Age: 12

Grade: 8th

Where do I live?: Wouldn't you like to know???

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Paste the bunny on your profile and join the Death Eaters! (We have cookies, milk, and a DENTAL PLAN!)

If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile.

If you missed Hogwarts as much as Harry while searching for Horcruxes with him, copy this into your profile.

If you're 11th birthday was the worst birthday ever because you didn't get a letter to Hogwarts copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that Severus Snape was one of the bravest man in the entire HP series copy/paste this onto your profile.

Which are you more like (Bold the ones that apply to you)

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 16

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelery.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

TOTAL: 11

I'm more like a guy, oh well. I don't like girly things anyhow!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in ICarly (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it.Crazy is when you try to make up the icarly characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day.Crazy is when you go to Guitar Center and noodle on a bass, not a guitar, a bass, for half a freakin hour! Crazy is when you think that the car in front of you on the freeway is stalking you. Crazy is when your parents find a knife in your room, because you are frightened when your home alone. Crazy is when you have more Harry Potter characters and groups in your Facebook feed than real friends and find it completely acceptable. Crazy is when you start randomly drawing on your chin because you can't see your forehead. Crazy is when you randomly shout "CABBAGES" in someone's face. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Just because I'm random

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. (I'm naturally clumsy)

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're part of the two percent who hasn't, copy this, and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just one review, paste

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Matt (sorry cant tell you!)

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Matizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Purple Snake

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name): Elizabeth Timberlane

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): Walmaugh

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite color, favorite drink): Lime Green Dr. Pepper

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Alieay

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name): Mary

9: YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one your pets) Black Oliver

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile (and bold the ones that you are)
If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

Friends and Best Friends:

Friend: Will help me when I'm lost.
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass,stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

Friend: Will help me learn to drive.
Best Friend: Will help me push the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away.
Best Friend: Won't let me go away.

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down.
Best Friend: Will point and laugh cause she tripped me.

Friend: Will go to a concert with me.
Best Friend: Will help me kidnap the band.

Friend: Call my parents ''Mr'' or ''Mrs''
Best Friend:Call my parents ''Mom'' or ''Dad''

Friend: Ask me for my number.
Best Friend: Ask me for her number.

Friend: Hides me from the cops.
Best Friend: Is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

Friend: Lets me make an idiot out of myself in public.
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to burry the body of the person that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN GIRL RUN!

Friends: Fade.
Best Friends: Are FOREVER

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

Disney controls 95 percent of teens through its television, if your the 5 percent that thinks that they were better when Walt was in control, copy and paste this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved onto rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has no clue what the heck they are singing about, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you hate Twilight, PROUDLY, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you like looking up things and finding out stuff on Wikipedia, copy this to your profile.

Check this out...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Some of my favorite quotes:

That banana is stalking me.

Where did my friends go? Oh, yah I have none.

Those are my pants! Gimme! Wait... WHY do YOU have MY pants?

Googely moogely ... Oogly! Narhahaha ha hi yah ha haho.

"Where's Emily?" Me , "In the closet." Emily, "Oh, Okay." Me.

"Abcdefg Hijklmnop Qrs-"Little girl , "Aww, how cute!"Parent of another kid , "Shut up lady!" Little girl.

Don't knock on Death's door, Ring the doorbell and run, He HATES that.

Quotes:

'Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today.'

'Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.'

'Knowledge is power; power is the root of all-evil. Therefore study to be evil.'

'I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!'

'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'

'There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives.'

'I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.'

'You know what? Earth stinks! I'm going home.'

If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh.'

'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.'

'Define normal.'

'Normal is a setting on a washing machine; no one wants to be that!!!'

I. AM. INSANE. I am happy being INSANE then I can laugh at all the non-INSANE people and get away with it. You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because you aren't.

I love music. I love music loud. Loud is good. Soft is bad. Except when discussing pillows. Soft pillows good. Hard pillows bad. Pillows nice. (Yes, I have a rather short attention span.)

When in doubt...throw a chair.

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse." Famous Last Words.

"I was going to conquer the world, but I was distracted by something SPARKLY!"

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

37 Secrets About Yourself.
Be honest no matter what.

1) have you ever been asked out?
yes

2) where did you get your default picture?

online

3) what's your middle name?
elizabeth

4) your current relationship status?
Single (i'm ridin' solo!)

5) does your crush like you back?
I don't know.

6) what is your current mood?
tired

7) what color of underwear are you wearing?
blue and yellow

8) what color shirt are you wearing?
black and gold (saints jersey, number 9 babyyy!)

9) Missing something?
not that i know of...

10) if you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
I would change a lot of things I don't want to talk about...

11) if you must be an animal for one day, what?
a snake... heeheehee...

12) ever had a near death experience?
No i don't think so

13) something you do a lot?
Dance

14) the song stuck in your head?
"Feliz Navidad"

15) who did you copy and paste this from?
"AwkwardAusTurtle"

16) name someone with the same bday as you.

Jamie Lynn Spears!

17) when was the last time you cried?
Hmm don't care.. I tend not to remember things like that

18) have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
yes, talent show in 4th grade

19) if you could have one super power what would it be?
idk

20) what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Humor

21) what do you usually order from starbucks?
i don't like starbucks (*gasp*)

22) what's your biggest secret?
Now why would I tell a computer my biggest secret????

23) favorite color?
purple

24) do you still watch kiddie shows?
not really...

25) what are you?
native american, pollish, american, and A GIRL... lol

26) do you speak any other language?
yes, spanish, french, and sign language

27) what's your favorite smell?

Anything but probably Cucumber Melon

28) Describe your life in one word.
LONG

29) have you ever kissed in the rain?
yes...

30) what are you thinking about right now?
About how Jamie Lynn Spears has the same birthday as me...

31) what should you be doing?
idk and idc.

32) who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
Don't know, don't care

33) do you like working in the yard?
no.

34) if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
swift (i love taylor swift!!!)

35) do you act differently around the person you like ?
idk, i can't tell, i'm distracted...

36) what is your natural hair color?
brown, but it changed to dirty blond

37) who was the last person to make you cry?
mean girls at school

Favorites

Colours: purple, green, orange

Bands/Singer: Taylor Swift

Show: The Lying Game

Movie: Taken

Languages: English, Spanish, French, Sign Language (I'm QUADRUPLE-lingual...)

Character that's most like me: Cat Valentine of Victorious

Lady Gaga taught me its okay to be different

Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks

Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love

Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through

Taylor Swift taught me not every guy/girl is going to treat me right

Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me

Music taught me how to live my life

BUT most importantly:

Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week

LIVE LAUGH LOVE:

Matt