Hi, my name is Reverant, and I like buying bags of Frosted Mini Spooners.

My story here started as a parody of crime noir. I wrote the first chapter as a joke for my wife, but later I wrote a few bits here and there during periods of boredom. Any and all incongruities arise from the fact that I wrote many parts out of order chronologically and at wildly different times and moods. There is occasionally alcohol involved in the creative process. Some later pieces reach back months, especially ones not yet published.

It's dark, at times humorous, and includes many references to political and social issues. Stay away if any of the following offends/scares you:

Excessive language
Gallons of blood
Alcoholism
Suicide
Drug abuse
Depression
Politics
Faith
Poverty
Exploding Squirrels

It's heavy, to be sure. If you're wondering, yes, I do know quite a bit about Middle Eastern history, religion, politics, and language. I don't like incorporating sensitive topics into material unless I believe I can treat it fairly and respectfully, so there you go.

Anyway, my impetus for actually finishing this thing is to just get some practice writing an entire short story. It's my dream to someday write a real book, and silly stuff like this is great for sharpening my (I'll be the first to admit) dull edges. Also, a cartoon penguin and walrus with silly hats in a violent crime story? The idea is still too hilarious for me to let go of.

Please, please, please, if you have thoughts on one thing or another, corrections, criticism, or recipes for croque monsieurs, don't be afraid to share them. I'd also be glad to offer any help.

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