Hi, I'm Ashfeather of ShadeClan. Later on Fanficton, there will be a story of my clan itself, but for now I can only tell you welcome.

Ok, what am I?

A WARRIOR CATS FAN!!!!!!!

Yeah, that's what I am.

Stories:

Stories I'm Working On:

The Fire Within- After a huge battle with RiverClan, Firestar, Graystripe, and Mistyfoot are all killed in the event. Now Graykit, son of Firestar and Sandstorm must come between two heartless killer leaders to see if he can live up to his fathers ranks, or plummet down.

The Bad Seed- Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight make up and have kits together. But, when one is a 'bad seed' of Scourge, every cat in ThunderClan starts to become suspicious of little Darkkit who seems to be so innocent. Frequent evil moments, dreams of a teeth-collared, dog-tooth clawed, older copy of of Darkkit takes control, will he rise for evil, or will he learn to redeem himself?

Stories That Will Possibly Come In the Future:

Not Interested In Love- Ivypool would never waste her time with a mate, unlike her sister. They're boring, cause drama, and cause commitment. But, when Ivypool starts to fall for a rude, selfish, annoying, typical bad-boy tom, she can't help but wonder...is it time? (Yeah, I'll improve this summary later on.)

MY ROLEPLAY CHARACTER

NAME: Blazestar

AGE: 30 Moons

GENDER: Tom

CLAN: ThunderClan

RANK: Leader

APPERANCE: Blazestar is a small tom, but not so small that his clanmates have to look down to see him. His shoulders are well-devolped, as well as his chest, and hindquaters. The rest of his body isn't enoumous, but it's not slender etheir. Mostly, he is an average weight for a cat of his size. His legs are well-muscled, but there an average length. His tail is slender, and longer than other cats, but not too long that he trips over it time and again. His head is a normal size, with thick fur surronding his face, but not too thick that you cannot see his face. His ears are a regular size, but with a tuft of fur at their points.

Blazestar's fur is a golden brown color with darker stripes lathering his body, a few on his legs and face, and tail. Across his face, he has a stripe that goes over his eyes. His body is moslty his tabby coloring and natural golden brown color, but he has a lighter chest, as well as his paws. His eyes are a green color, like the forest that have a warm glow in their depths.

PERSONALITY: Blazestar is a fair leader who dosen't belive in punishing cats if they don't desreve it. He takes in cats to ThunderClan who weren't born there, beliving that they could still be strong cats despite where they came from. He usally lives life in the moment, not caring of the future or bothering his thoughts with the past. His small size brings other cats to belive that he is an apprentice, always jumping around, and encouraging cats to stay happy like him. When Blazestar is in his happy thoughts, nothing can bring him down.

STRENGTH: Blazestar is a great fighter, and dosen't fight fights he dosen't belive in.

WEAKNESS: He isn't very observant, he follows his gut, and that leads to some problems in ThunderClan.

HISTORY: Blazestar was born to Cloudedpelt of ShadowClan and Sundapple of RiverClan. His parents couldn't keep him, they would be exiled by their leaders if they said anything. Sundapple gave Blazekit to her friend, the leader of ThunderClan, Rainstar. Rainstar willingly took in Blazekit, and told the rest of ThunderClan that this kit was her own. Cats were suspicous, they knew that Rainstar's mate, Grayingsun, had died of greencough of few moons before, but none of them questioned the fact that it takes a she-cat about two and a half moons for her kit's to devople, about the same time that Grayingsun had died. Rainstar raised Blazekit to have a good heart, and to care about cats lesser than him. No one questioned Blazepaw's loyalty, and his mentor Hawkeye tought him well. His apprenticeship went smoothly, and he was named a warrior, Blazemask, in no time.

Blazemask trained his own apprentice, Patchpaw, who was trained into the loyal warrior, Patchflower. He fell in love with his mate, Silverleaf. They often hunted together in the forest. The ThunderClan deputy, Mosstail, was found on the WindClan border. Cats of ThunderClan thought it was a WindClan cat who killed their deputy, but know one knows for sure. Blazemask was made deputy, and after a moon, Rainstar's body was found by the Sky Oak, and Blazemask thought she might have fallen from the tree and died. After Blazemask grieved for his foster mother, Blazemask travled to the Moonpool and was named leader of ThunderClan.

One day at a gathering, Blazestar's real mother, Sundapple, told him about his real heritage. Blazestar accepted her apology. A few moons later, Silverleaf gave birth to Blazestar's three kits; Birchkit, Seakit, and Darkkit. Seakit and Darkkit were made warrior apprentices, then warriors, while Birchkit was a medicine cat apprentice. Blazestar's life was great, but when Seabreeze was giving birth to her two kits, Shadekit and Cloverkit, Birchfeather learned a propecy circling three cats. Blazestar and Birchfeather are now watching these kits.

APPRENTICE: Smokepaw

MATE: Silverleaf- beautiful silver tabby she-cat with dazzeling blue eyes.

SONS: Birchfeather- light brown tabby tom with white paws and green eyes.

Darkblaze- black tom with amber eyes.

DAUGHTER: Seabreeze- tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with dark blue eyes.

FATHER: Cloudedpelt- ginger-and-white tom with amber eyes.

MOTHER: Sundapple- golden spotted she-cat with green eyes.

GRANDSON: Shadekit- black-and-white tom with green eyes

GRANDDAUGHTER: Cloverkit- dark tortoiseshell she-cat with amber eyes.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

93 percent of american teens would be upset if Miley Cyrus jumped off a cliff, post this on your profile if you would be the 7 percent shouting 'jump, bitch, jump!'

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy & paste this into your profile

If you've ever pulled on a door and complained about it being locked or really heavy, only to have someone point out to you that you're supposed be pushing on the door or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the fun of it, copy this into your profile.

If you are against child abuse, you should copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile.( record is 9 hours)

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with a tv show you actually A) dream about it, B) talk about it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the episode with one glance and can recite the entire script, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at a book store, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gone to a book store and read an entire book, put this in your profile.

If you still bought the book, copy this in your profile.

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93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile.

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Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that know they're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

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98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If your someone has been telling you to get off the computer for the last hour and your still reading this, post to profile.

42 ways to annoy your parents

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...
2. Moo when they say your name...
3. Run into walls...
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...
10. Do what they actually tell you...
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
13. At everything they say yell, Liar...
14. Try to swim in the floor...
15. Tap on their door all night...
16.Pretend to have amnesia...
17.Say everything backwards...
18.Give yourself a swirly...
around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!! it's dying!!"...
20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear...
21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
in circles...
24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...
25.Pretend to beat yourself up...
/bark at the mail man...
27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...
28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
29.Super glue your finger up your nose...
to a pen...
31.Lay face down and chant like an Indian tribe...
32.Try and climb the wall...
33.Roll on the floor laughing hysterically in supermarkets...
34.Take your ice cream cone and put it on your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn...
35. Turn the tv on to a station you don't get, watch the static and say you're looking for the pattern...
36.Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!"...
your hair...
38.Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal...
anything obviously not edible...
40.Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house...
41.When you shower or bathe yell, "I'm drowning!!"...
42.Try to snorkel in your fish tank...

22 weird things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would you please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.

7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to 10.99. Please pull up to the window."

8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.

9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.

10. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

11. Ask to see a menu.

12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."

13. Demand imperiously, "Do you have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!"

14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

16. Start the conversation by reciting the date and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."

17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your pizza on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; or "Gimme Pizza! You will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"

18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."

19. Ask for a deal available from a different pizza chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)

20. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that you got "stuck."

21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.

27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.

28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."

29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

5) On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

6) Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

7) Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas!" If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

8) Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

9) Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

10) Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

11) Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks you why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

12) Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

13) Bring a water pistol with you. 'Nuff said.

14) From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

15) One word: Wrestlemania.

16) Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

17) Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc . . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

18) Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the secion on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so.".

9 Fun Things to Do During a Boring Lecture

1) When the professor asks a question, raise your hand. If the professor calls on you, point to someone in the next row and say "He knows." Pick a different person each time.

2) Buy a watermelon. Give it to the professor. If he/she asks, say "They were out of apples."

3) Bring a fishing rod. Try to catch things on the professor's desk.

4) Bring a tape player and a tape of a thunderstorm. Keep it hidden. Sometime during the lecture, start the tape, stand up, claim that the professor has angered the gods and leave. Watch to see how many students follow you after the tape starts playing.

5) Make reserved seating cards and place them on the desks before class.

6) Bring a flash camera. Take pictures every few minutes, using a very bright flash. If anyone complains, say that you didn't see any sign saying you couldn't bring cameras.

7) Bring a light bulb. Hold it over your head whenever you have the answer to a question.

8) Sneeze very loudly. Then have the person next to you sneeze, then the person next to him, and so on. See how long it takes before the professor sneezes.

9) When the professor comes in, suddenly scream, "NOOOOOOOO! Not him! Not professor Johnson!! They let him teach again! Nooooooo!" Then run out of the room. See how many people follow you.

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. b 33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

12 Fun Things To Do To Get Salespeople on the Phone to Hang Up

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If you get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.

3. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

4. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

5. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Julie and I'm with Dodger & Peck Services... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

7. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

9. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Widget & Associates." You: "Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)

Top 17 Signs Your Airline Attendant is About Ready to Retire

17. Always grumbling about how things were much simpler when Orville and Wilbur ran the business.

16. For dinner, asks, "Ya want the white crap or the yellow crap?"

15. When pointing to the emergency exits, uses nothin' but her middle finger.

14. Occasionally tries to prop-start a 747.

13. Insists on showing you pictures of her prom date with Bob Dole.

12. Loudly refers to pilot and co-pilot as "Opie" and "The Beav."

11. At the security checkpoint, her hip sets off the metal detector.

10. Replaces in-flight movie with racy story about how he and Amelia Earhart founded the Mile High Club.

9. As passengers deplane, forgets to say "bye" and just stands there saying "buh... buh... buh... buh... buh... buh..."

8. No matter what you order, she serves up a nice warm glass of Bosco.

7. After demonstrating the oxygen mask, needs to keep it on.

6. Matches entire business class shot for shot.

5. Uses false teeth to prevent the food cart from rolling down the aisle.

4. Breaks wind so forcefully that the oxygen masks drop.

3. Requests that passengers refrain from using electronic devices such as Wurlitzers, Victrolas, and telegraphs.

2. Excitedly announces that the in-flight movie will be a "talkie."

1. Keeps getting lost on the way to the cockpit.