NOTE: As of now I no longer write fanfiction. It was an interesting diversion, and I love EVERYONE who supported me, but I'm in a period of my life where I want to concentrate on original fiction instead. This doesn't mean I'll never write fanfic again. It just won't be my main area of concetration.

UPDATE: Never mind. I write fanfiction still. It's like a bad boyfriend I can't dump because I still love him. D': Fanfiction.net is MAI WAIFU

As always, I'm abusin' the poll option on fanfic. It's right up thar. VOTE.

My Livejournal: http:/// Please e-stalk me. I'm lonely. DX

Q and A:

Q: So, how do you write your fics? The dirty ones?

A: Well, you see, I've written so many dirty fics that it's sort of like mad-libs. I have a special program I use. All I do is go "Hmm...what pairing is currently highest in the polling? ElliotXPeterXVivaldiXAce? Okai!" I then insert the names into a pre-written template depending upon whether it's a threesome, foursome, fivesome or a bland twosome.

Q: Seriously?

A: Of course!

Q: Waaaaait a second. Don't you write other fics?

A: Yes and no. Yes as in they exist. No as in you probably are not going to care enough to read them. XD

Q: I care about your other stories...

A: Review please?

Q: Fair enough. So Alice sure does get around in your stories.

A: Wouldn't you in her situation?

Q: Okay, I have this super awesome pairing I want you to write. Will you?

A: I'll consider it. PM me. You never know. It might strike my fancy. I've had people suggest pairings before I've actually used. I'm not a fountain of infinite ideas. Sometimes I need some help. People like you help by giving me ideas to use (steal)! If I don't use your pairing now I might use it later.

Q: Can I just PM you to talk? Or to talk to you about a story I'm going to write? Or to ask you a question? Or to ask you to beta? Or to ask you to join me in unholy union?

A: Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. PM me and I will be sure to help you with any questions you have, even if it seems to be an inconsequential question about the games themselves. Also, I love talking! I have nothing else to do with my day! If nothing else, I always respond to PM's in a timely manner, so feel free to PM me.

Q: Dude, I went to the M-section and half of it consists of your name. HOW DOES YOUR THERAPIST FEEL ABOUT THIS?

A: Fine. Thank you for asking. :D

Q: Your stories offend meh!

A: NUUUUU!

Q: Lol. I bet yer a 16-year-old girl, AMIRITE?

A: NO U. You are never right. For teh record I am of legal age and any e-marriages I make with 50-year-old men are therefore also legal.

Q: I bet yer a man, AMIRITE?

A: DX

Q: I learned everything I know about sex from your writing! :D

A: :0 NO. NO! NO. NO! NO. See, you just broke me. My stories are BAD representations of what sex in RL actually is. So, go talk to your mother or something...DX

Q: When are you going to write an EveryoneXEveryone M-fic? I voted for that in the poll, you lazy author!

A: ... ...I DUN KNOW! I didn't think people would actually vote for that!

Q: Shouldn't you be studying? Or sleeping? By God, woman, where is your sense of responsibility? Are you always on the internet?

A: I should but...meh.

Q: Will you marry me?

A: A/S/L, KTHNX PLS!

Q: Any alter-egos?

A: Yes. My old account is http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/821407/The_Essential_Word. I have one or two HnKnA fanfics there, but it's mostly Rune Factory. I started a new account because I was too embarrassed to post my first story Clockwork Hearts on my main account. Eventually, however, I abandoned that account and now use this one as my main. Also, I abandoned the notion of shame and am no longer embarrassed.

But don't take my word for it! Here's what satisfied customers are saying about Earthriddle!

"(sic)...your brains must be
full of M rated and humor fics..."

--oBseSSiON Is ODd

"You're a sick woman, but that is why we love you."

--Pasty Face

"She's unstoppable. She feeds from our twizzlers and coke and destroys everything we hold dear. God save us all."

--Random bystanders

"You taught me everything I know about doing sex wrong!"

--a reader

MY OCs

Samuel L. Bishie.

http:///#/d389xxn

His name is Samuel L. Bishie. He is my very special to me. NO STEALING. EVER, KTHNX. I hold sole copyright of Samuel L. Bishie. FatePwnsYou THINKS she can steal him when I'm not looking BUT I'M ALWAYS LOOKING.

Background: He lives at the Mansion with Blood and he doesn't like mother*X*X*X*. He and Gowland are friends. He thinks Vivaldi is a hawt piece of tail, but sometimes he gets confused about Julius. Anyway...NO STEALING MY OC. He's very special to me. I'm planning on writing a tender fanfic involving him and oranges later. Read and review, kawaiidesudesu, kthnx.

Mary Sparkles Riddle

My FAVORITE OC.

She looks like me but isn't me. Only vaguely me in a vague way that is vague. She vaguely has my personality except she's nicer and inexplicably liked. Also, she's hot. She is so hot the ground melts when she walks. She is so hot the sun is jealous. I'm pairing her with Peter Airay, a genetically-altered Boris/Peter hybrid created specially for my very special fanfic.

Future Fic Ideas

Someone has sex with someone else. I will probably name it "The Same Story I've Written 13 Times Already" If I'm feeling particularly creative I might branch out and write THREE PEOPLE, MY GOD HOW AM I SO CREATIVE! ? But wait...WAIT.

More creativity.

FOUR PEOPLE OMIGOD CALL THE BOOK PUBLISHERS I'M A GENIUS!!!!

UPDATE: It's actually the same story I've written 26 times. Excuse me.

UPDATE: 28 times. pardon.

Contents of profile not meant to be taken seriously. Seriously, people. Don't.

PS: Avatar is of Shirley Manson. 3 Yes. She is just that pretty. :D