HEY COOL PEOPLE!!

WELCOME!!!

YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN TELEPORTED THROUGH SOME KIND OF PORTAL OR FLOO POWDER (a link for you modern... muggles!!) TO GET HERE. SO. HELLAE THERE!!!

THIS IS MY AWESOME PAGE

WITH MY AWESOME THINGS.

APPARENTLY YOU NEED TO KNOW THINGS ABOUT ME.

IF YOU ARE NOT A PAEDOPHILE.

IF YOU ARE A PAEDOPHILE... UM... YOU SHOULD... UH... DO 10 PUSHUPS!!! NOWWWW!!! I WANT TO SEE YOU SWEAT BECAUSE I AM A PSYCHO PE TEACHER (not really but I know many)!! NOW GET OFF MY PAGE YOU CREEPY PAEDOPHILE.

MEANWHILE... THINGS ABOUT ME... HMM...

NAME: Elmo. Not Eloise. Not Ellie. No. I will not respond to you unless you call me Elmo. My birth certificate does not prove anything. SO there.

AGE: 13 (mental age about 17 with sickmindedness, 4 with maturity).

FAV MUSIC: hmm um om nom. Snow Patrol (no idea why they are supposed to be patrolling snow) Taylor Swift (relatively normal name), Owl City (again. no idea where this city of owls is but I sure as hell want to go there!!)

FAV BOOKS: Oooh Oooh Ooh!! Maximum Ride, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, ANYTHING by Jacqueline Wilson, Robert Muchamore... thats about it :)

FAV SHOWS: Glee (I LOVE MR SCHU!!! AND HIS HAIR!!! IT DOESN'T MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A LESBIAN SUE, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT UR HAIR ISN'T COOL!!) NZ's Next Top Model (DAKOTA GOT OFF!!! YUSSSS *dances*), SelectLive (Drew Neemia's funny as), Everybody Hates Chris (why oh why would anybody hate him?)

SO NOW I AM SUPPOSED TO COPY AND PASTE STUFF.

I CANNOT BE BOTHERED DOING THIS, MUCH AS I BET YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED.

SO I WILL JUST GOOGLE A RANDOM QUESTION GENERATOR TO GET THE TEN MOST RANDOM POSSIBLE QUESTIONS.

I BET YOU ARE JUST WETTING YOURSELVES WITH EXCITEMENT (like my science teacher does whenever she sees a bird.)

VERY WELL. I SHALL BEGIN.

1. where were you three hours ago?

at your mom's :D. No, not really. Well. For those stalkers out there, I was at SCHOOL. that horrible place where they force information into your brain. You may be familiar with it. And no... it's not Hogwarts... still waiting for that letter *siggghsss dramatically*

2. who are you in love with?

THAT WASN'T PERSONAL AT ALL!!!

3. have you ever eaten a crayon?

What do you take me for??? A complete psycho???
And yes.

4. is there anything pink within ten feet of you?

Nah, cause I'm actually at my extremely crowded desk right now, covered with highlighters and pens and papers and the like. So nothing, apart from your mom. Next question.

5. boxers or briefs?

HELLO COMPUTER. I AM A GIRL. UN CHICA. SO NO FREAKING COMMENT. Next question.

6. where is your best friend?

On this LINK: http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/1836962/TwilightLuvr4Eva I know it's Twilight... I know it's a bit yucky... I know you might have to wear sanitation gloves and strap on your swine flu masks... but go on it cause she's a really good writer even though it is Twilight :) GO ON IT. MAKE MY DAY.

7. do you have a tan?

Don't you know it.

8. when is the last time you ran?

To your mom's!!! Jeez!!!
Actually, this morning, through the rain, to my bus shelter, trying not to get wet because my school uniform smells like a wet dog when it gets wet. The general effect of looking like a drowned rat and smelling like a wet dog is not desirable.

9. last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

Let me establish something, computer. I AM THIRTEEN. I CANNOT DRIVE. I CANNOT DRINK ALCOHOL. I CANNOT SMOKE.
So yesterday, for doing drugs in the back seat of your mom's car.

10. what does your last text message say?

goes up and grabs phone* "I love you my spazzoid friend"

Awee. What a cutey I am.

SO NOW YOU ARE PROBABLY BORED

FLICKING PAST MY WISE WORDS OF WISDOM AND CLEVER, THOUGHTFUL, INTRIGUING ANSWERS

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SEE WHATEVER STORIES I HAVE WRITTEN.

I SHOULD PROBABLY LET YOU DO THIS BECAUSE I LIKE REVIEWS ON MY STORIES.

FIRSTLY, A WARNING TO PEOPLE WHO DO NOT REVIEW:

I HAVE A HIT SQUAD

INVOLVING NICO DI ANGELO AND PERCY JACKSON

FANG, IGGY, GAZZY

AND ALL THE VOLTURI (just cause i adore italian accents).

SO. UNLESS YOU WANT:

-TO WAKE UP WITH A ZOMBIE NEXT TO YOU IN BED, WHO SPEAKS ONLY RUSSIAN, IS CALLED FEODOR, AND HAS A STALKERISH OBSESSION WITH YOU

- TO GET UR BUTT SPRAYED WITH WATER EVERY TIME YOU SIT DOWN ON THE TOILET, EXACTLY SO THAT IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT

- TO HAVE THE CONSTANT FEELING THAT A WINGED EMO BOY IS WATCHING YOU INVISIBLY

- TO SOMEHOW BE ABLE TO EXPLODE EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH (i love those kids, they can do anything with a few old sticks of dynamite!)

- AND TO BE STALKED BY PEOPLE WITH RED EYES, CREEPY RED CLOAKS AND PAEDOPHILIC GRINS

REVIEW!!!!

THANKS FOR READING (EVEN IF YOU SKIPPED IT ALL)

BYEBYE FOR NOW

READ MY STORIES

AUTHOR ALERT ME IF I AM WORTHY

STAY COOL!!!

DON'T DO DRUGS!!!

BYEEEE!!!!

WAIT

BEFORE U GO:

GIVE ME A HUG :)