thewiseferret
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 12-27-08, id: 1782395, Profile Updated: 05-02-16
Author has written 9 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Stargate: Atlantis, Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Batman, Doctor Who, and Girl Genius.

OK so the first time I did this I wrote about how I don't do one shots and a list of the fandoms I poke- both of which have since gone out the window doing backflips. I seem to have a thing for writing villians but I can't stand the old 'they do it cos they're evil' excuse, it doesn't work.

I'm a capoeirista, I mention this because I use things from this martial art and the amazing culture behind and around it in my FMA fics pretty regularly. Not everything I use relating to capoeira in these fics is accurate, such as the fact I tend to link it to several old West African (ahem...Fon, Ashanti, Yoruba) religions and mythologies, although we do use some of the language these traditions do. I also can't speak Portugese, so my translations or spelling of words or names for things in capoeira will not always be very accurate.

I'm mildly obsessed with West African myths, this comes out and dances in my FMA fics, sometimes literally.

I love Sassoon's poetry, I don't think I've ever read anything else quite so gut-wrenchingly moving. I quote him extensively in every story that involves war, conflict, violence or pointing a gun at another human being...which'd be pretty much all of them. Usually he'll be quoted at the beginning with his name underneath the poem, sometimes one of the characters will quote him, in which case I'll note it at the top. Chances are if it's a war poem in one of my fics, it's one of Sassoon's. Owen does also occassionally make an appearance, and I have been known to quote Sappho-again these'll be referenced.

Blake's 7 is still the high bar of sci-fi and until someone resurrects Terry Nation it always will be. That Firefly is the closest anything recent has come to that level of brilliance is the highest praise I can think of. I reference Blake's 7 occasionally, I won't write it.

Please read the stories, it makes the ferrets stop chewing on my brains. :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Of Whoresons and Nobles by DragonReine reviews
Love is no more than another tool in an assassin's repertoire, a charade to trick and deceive and murder, but even a Crow such as he was defenceless when faced with the real thing. Zevran-centric PoV, M!Cousland/Zevran
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 176,608 - Reviews: 579 - Favs: 441 - Follows: 448 - Updated: 8/5/2015 - Published: 6/7/2010 - Zevran A., Cousland
Stand Back, I'm Going To Try Science by Shimegami reviews
G1 oneshot. Starscream, Wheeljack, and Perceptor are stranded on an alien planet due to one of Wheeljack's inventions going wrong, as usual. Not as usual, they have to rely on other skills to find their way home. Namely: science. Primus help us all.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,660 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Complete
Automail by The Prettiest Frog in the Pond reviews
A look at some of the problems that could be caused by automail, and whether it's worth the pain of having it installed. A little bit of brotherly fluff at the end. Oneshot.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,466 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/20/2008 - Edward E. - Complete
Come Around by Quetzal1 reviews
G1 It's fine to let your conscience be your guide, so long as Megatron isn't that conscience. A little study in Stockholm and Lima Syndromes.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 71,663 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 12/22/2007 - Published: 8/19/2007 - Complete
Throwaway Card by Killing Joke reviews
A series of rogue explosions in Gotham has led Batman to the usual suspect, who has once again exploited Arkham's revolving door policy. But something is going very wrong for the Clown Prince.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 14 - Words: 39,801 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/31/2006 - Published: 6/17/2005 - Complete
The Teacher by Juxtaposie reviews
There are two sides of every coin: light and dark, man and woman, student and teacher. Even Izumi Curtis was once a student. Spoilers. Animeverse
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,649 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/25/2005 - Izumi C., Envy
L'Heure Verte by Melissa the Sheep reviews
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. GreedEnvy.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,875 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/18/2005 - Greed, Envy
The Last Temptation of Alfred by David Hines reviews
At a butlering convention, Alfred has a moment of weakness.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,805 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 690 - Follows: 111 - Published: 3/12/2004
More Than Half by Nancy Brown reviews
The Gathering has come, and the Puck has a decision to make.
Gargoyles - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,984 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2001 - Puck, Owen B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Und I haff neffer luffed reviews
This came from two throw away lines in Girl Genius. Zeetha saying that Ashtara was a fertility goddess and so their holy days were fun. And Maxim admitting that 'I haff neffer luffed.' It was too good to resist.
Girl Genius - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 649 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/14/2010 - Complete
First Chance reviews
The world goes completely insane when the Doctor finally gets a clue, just like he'd known it would. In which the Master is unstable, the Doctor takes a risk and the past is rehashed to the satisfaction of some.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,470 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/16/2010 - The Master - Complete
They Screw You Up, Your Mum and Dad reviews
Another of Envy's plans to get revenge on Hohenheim goes wrong, and has some unforseen consequences. A BBI anime based AU. Violence and swearing. No pairings. Concentrates on the 'Elric' family.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 20,376 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Envy
Matters of Perspective reviews
The first thing he heard was laughter. -Contains lack of logic, continued abuse of sports cars, kidnap, and the Joker on drugs. Because sanity is a matter of perspective-
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,631 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 9/18/2009 - Bruce W./Batman, The Joker - Complete
Darling Columbine reviews
He had been there crouched on the windowsill of Arkham for some time watching her and he was really beginning to hate the voices in his head. An AU, of sorts, spoilers for Deep Cover.
Batman: The Brave and the Bold - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,032 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Complete
Beginnings reviews
There is a story that Keepers sometimes tell to charges that are of that awkward age, not hatchling or childer. Because all people have a story of how they came to be- Wraith and Ancient centric, pre-series.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,027 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Complete
Survivors reviews
500 years after the end of Season 4 and the war with the Hybrids is at a stalemate. This follows the exploits of jumper crew 8, AF Ariadne. Excessive WW1 poetry, references to Blake's 7, the Godfather, Firefly and Star Wars. May contain Wraith.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,212 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/16/2009 - Published: 4/11/2009
Abscence reviews
A musing on the past, on abscence, spys, passing, masks, why women are allowed in the Amestris military. And absinthe dreams.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,130 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Envy - Complete
A Thing of Unspeakable Horror reviews
There was silence apart from the cackle of the radio. After a suitably pregnant pause Falman replied. “So how do you know you’re in a Hammer Horror movie?”
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 701 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Complete