DarkbladerX666
 Author has written 5 stories for Naruto, Worm, and Bleach. Hello my friends DBX666 here and I'm hungry for blood. Age: 27 Sex: Male Orientation: Asexual(Panromantic) Hair color: Black Eye color: Brown with a hint of yellow Favorite hobby: Writing stories, Video games Favorite family member: My cousin Adrian Favorite food: Morcillas Favorite Anime/Manga: Naruto, Bleach, Blood plus, Trinity Blood, Tsukihime My Likes: Family, Video Games, Fanfiction, Friends and Movies My Dislikes: Ignorance, Arrogance, Racism, Bullies, and Twilight Dream: To have a family This is damn important. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. Post this on your page if you support homosexuals and think people need to get over themselves and realize that those that like the same sex are people too. If there are times when you just wanna annoy someone just for the heck of it copy this to your profile, If you hate obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this to your profile, If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile, If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! Put this on your Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, Demonic Dragon Knight, one-village-idiot,FreeTheKyuubi,DarkbladerX666 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you think Naruto totally kicks ass paste this, If you think Naruto can get any girl he wants paste this, If you are an ANIME FREAK, copy this into your profile, If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven, If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile, If you wish Masashi Kishimoto would please let Sakura hook up with Sasuke so she would shut up copy and paste this, If you just wish for Sakura to shut up paste this, If you want to see Sasuke bitch slap Sakura paste this, If you belive Kyuubi attacked Sakura because she didn't like her and is tired of her hurting her man paste this, If you wish Masashi would just kill Sakura copy and paste this, If you just plain fucking hate Sakura copy and paste this into your profile, If you wish Masashi Kishimoto would end Naruto with NarutoxFemKyuubi copy this to your profile, If you believe Kyuubi secretly loves Naruto paste this, If you wish Naruto would end with NarutoxTemari paste this to your profile, If you beleive Temari has a crush on Naruto paste this, If you just want Naruto would become hokage and have a beautiful wife(Excluding Sakura) and kid and live happily for the rest of his life paste this. If you believe that Ichigo and Rukia are meant for each other, paste this in your profile, If you believe that Rukia belongs to Ichigo and Ichigo belongs to Rukia, paste this in your profile, If you believe that they are perfect for each other, paste this in your profile, If you believe that they love each other, paste this is your profile, If you do not believe in IchiHime, paste this in your profile, If you believe that IchiRuki shall prevail, paste this in your profile, IF YOU LOVE ICHIRUKI, PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE! There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and paste it in your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a die-hard IchiRuki lover for life copy and paste this into your profile- Ichiruki lovers unite!! If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you can't draw anime boys worth crap, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really obvious, stupid question, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. now for semoehtnig itnresitng... I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you could read that, copy and paste it into your profile. For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message into your profile. IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school You know you live in 2008 when... 1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace. 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer. 7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling. 8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this. 9. You were too busy to notice number five. 10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five. 11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did. I'm Sorry: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, repost as" I'm sorry." If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to repost, and you would never Girl: Slow down! Guy: No this is fun! Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you. Now slow down. Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gave him a big hug. Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me. In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die. If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile. A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. Sweetness This is really sweet... When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.". If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity. Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress. 7 Ways to Scare your roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ... Female Comebacks (funny!) Man: Have I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there anymore Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mine. Man: Hey baby, whats your sign? Woman: Do not enter Man: I would go to the end of the world for you Woman: But would you stay there? Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing Man: So what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together. Answering Machine Messages: 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya, We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...really slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. 2. Hi. I'm probably home, but I'm avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't get back to you, it's you. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something! 4. Hello, if you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call you sooner. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have Lots of money!! 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these plastic magnets. 8. This is not an answering machine...it's a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think your name, your number, and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number, and they will get back with you. 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 101 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" 17. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 18. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 19. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 20. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!" 21. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department 22. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy". 23. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max. 24. Play with the automatic doors. 25. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 26. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?" 27. Repeat #26 in the jewelry department. 28. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 29. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 30. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 31. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 32. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 33. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 34. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!" 35. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 36. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down. 37. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 38. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 39. Take bets on the battle described above. 40. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!) 41. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room. 42. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 43. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags 44. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them. 45. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 46. Two words: "Marco Polo." 47. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc. 48. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics. 49. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them. 50. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions. 51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 52. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 53. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie." 54. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 55. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word. 56. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 57. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 58. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 59. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)." 60. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive." 68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it. 70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign. 71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag 72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming" 73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes 74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices 75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane 76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle) 77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!" 78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight 79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over. 80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap. 81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section 82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls. 83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner. 84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens. 85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it. 86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!" 87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund. 88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught 89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms. 90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me." 91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name. 92. Rearrange items as you see fit. 93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere. 94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs. 95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex). 96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended). 97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items. 98. Follow someone until they notice. 99. Pull out pins, like that guy from the 7 Up commercial. 100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!" 101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here. Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator: 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile You fight, I fight A best friend is someone who yells in the hall I LOVE YOU!! FAKE VS. REAL FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!” FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.(AKA. Drinking Buddies) REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost this. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! Too many people have died because of other's needs of fame and fortune. If you care post this on your profile. To many peope have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, write this to your profile. TRUE STORY A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. If you've ever REALLY wanted to flame a fanfic but refrained from doing so to spare the author's feelings, copy and paste this into your profile. Month one Month Two Month Three Month Four Month Five Month Six Month Seven Every Abortion Is Just . . . If you're against abortion, re-post this You say BABY PINK If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you think the world sucks, copy this to your profile. If you think you might have issues, copy this to your profile, then go blow something up. I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love. ONLY IN AMERICA: 1. Only in America ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile. If you like your mom, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think digimon is, was, and always will be the coolioist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are one freaky Digimon lover, copy and paste into your profile. If you are over the age of 12 and still watch nickelodeon, and are proud of it, copy this into your profile (only Danny Phantom and Avatar...other than that, Nick sucks!) If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you absolutely LOVE anime, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are from Puerto Rico and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.(VIVA BORICUA!!) If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson. If your profile is long, put this into your profile and make it even longer. If you know a video game/movie/book/anime/manga character or weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. 15 percent of every high school population is considered "Popular". 20 percent is desperate to become a part of the popular 15 percent. 20 percent couldn't care less. 15 percent realize that popularity doesn't matter. 10 are too busy worrying about their grades to care. 5 percent are goths, 5 percent can speak another language fluently, and 5 percent are too stupid to realize that no one likes them. If you are a part of the 5 percent who think the 'unpopular' 85 percent should rebel against the popular 15 percent, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., DigiDestined of Balance, Jingo4754,DarkbladerX666 If your one of those weird people who hate war but love violence, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have music in your soul, copy this into your profile. If you hate all predjudice copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to copy this to your profile, you know what to do. If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this on you're profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read all of the listed copy-to-profiles on this profile, copy this to your profile. If you have ever: danced like no one was watching, sung like no one was listening, written like no one was reading, loved like you'd never been hurt, or dreamed like no one was judging, copy this to your profile. If you think that bullies should be wiped off of the face of the earth, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you should be doing homework right now... copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think child abuse is horrible copy and paste this in your profile. If murders make you sick copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that looks don't matter (well most of the time you think that) copy and paste this in your profile. Time for a QUIZ! RULES ARE YOU? 1. Perfect? I wish. LAST: 1. Friend you saw: Leonel. FAVORITES: 1. Number: 8 since I was 8. EIGHT EMOTIONS: 1. Are you missing someone right now? Yes. ABOUT YOU: Real name? Adolfo Jose Torres.(NOT HITLER) FIRSTS: 1. First best friend? Joel. CURRENTLY: 1. Eating? Nothing. WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? 1. Shorter or taller? Short but not to much. HAVE YOU EVER: 1. Drank bubbles? I don't get it. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 1. Miracles? I want to but it's difficult now a days. 100 Rules of Anime The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural #1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply. #2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is #3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud #4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust #5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a #6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero #7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of #8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... #9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are #10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a #11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. #12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. #13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly #14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any #15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of #16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form #17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The #18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, #19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at #20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and #21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t... #22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little #23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost #24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, #25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly #26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: #27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of #28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate #29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of #30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are #31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is #32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and #34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable #35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, #36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good #37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an #38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is #39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely #40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get #41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal #42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it #43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43. #44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a #45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the #46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy #47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some #48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or #49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will #50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are #51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters #53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum. #54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, #55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and #56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons #57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of #58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, #59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition #60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s #61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an #62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years #63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the #64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be #65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the #66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- #67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the #68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the #69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any #70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a #71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male #72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head #73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to #74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When #75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can #76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a #77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick #78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST #79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial #80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is #81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if #82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a #83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become #84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed #85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire #86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in #87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon. #88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have #89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large #90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following #91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and #92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance #93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at #94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability #95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any #96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, #97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that #98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or #99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest #100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen. If you fall for this please put it in your profile, I fell for it too: You know you live in 2007 when... 1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. I did everything after 9. "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now If you have never watched Heroes, 24, The O.C., Grey's Anatomy, or any of that stuff, and are sickened by those who do, please copy & paste this into your profile. If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've read this ENTIRE profile and wasted about ten minutes reading what took me hours to put together, copy and paste this into your profile. If your dad gets a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this into your profile. If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. Paste this in your profile if you have ever seen a ghost or something supernatural. If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to yor profile. you like chocolate, copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever got a high score and jumped in the air and screamed yes, copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude' , copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off. If you think that this is too troublesome to read, copy this too profile. If you are too lazy to copy this to your profile, copy this to your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself. If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile. If you've ever looked at the backs of heads that were previously your friends, copy this into your profile. If you approve of gay-marrigaes put this on your profile.( Just so you know I'm not gay it just sickens me how people are denaid their happiness because of sexual preference) What to Do During an Exam 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly. 14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.) 15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that) 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 24. Act spazzy 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply. 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby. 39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it. 42. Dress like the professor. 43. Cross-Dress. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. You know your a writer when: You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..." You live off of sugar and caffine People think you're insane. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. Man Law 1. No wasted beer in the name of humour. 2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control 3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her it’s a 6 day waiting period. 4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home. (The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving his friend’s home) 5. Short shorts have been banned… Unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar. 6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal. 7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you. 8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death. 9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare in case a friend is in desperate need. 10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets. 11. No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then you’re not a man. 12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it. 13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrower puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticeable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours. 14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favour will one day be replayed. 15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun. Addendum to Man Law No. 15: If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really shitty and the owner doesn’t care about muddy seats. 16. It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober. 17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom. 18. You poke it you own it. 19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men. 20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out. 21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count… rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day. 22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E … Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet… or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants… (Or any other article of clothing). 23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should pop his collar. 24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances. 25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty. 26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat; if not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegetarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting. 27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies. 28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry" 29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are separated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you. 30. under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another man’s attempt at getting some tang. Let’s just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch. 31. Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day. 32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn’t mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used is said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or an ufc cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it. 33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved. 34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to Manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships. 35. Women can't drive. 36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10. 37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not. 38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you don’t agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support 39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past. 40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket. 41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal. 42. A man will not live in his parent’s house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war. 43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". And the right to leave the room. 44. Sex is more important then talking 45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm. 46. Grilling, regardless of weather, is always the first choice for cooking. 47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat 48. Men will invite other men to Man Law 49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "it’s not their brand." 50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not. 51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes. 52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza. 53. If you spill a man’s beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup. 54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you can’t drink it in said time, don’t open it. If you can’t drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review. 55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped. 56. It is never a man’s responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbour’s lawn. 57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer. 58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway. 59. The bachelor’s party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment). 60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. It’s understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality. 61. A man purse is still a purse. 62. No man shall dance for fun unless it’s to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex. 63. Body paint is only acceptable on a man if it’s on game day and to support his team. 64. No man shall bring a woman to the guy’s night out. This is punishable by verbal abuse for life. 65. If you do not sweat, it’s not a sport. (People sweat during Beer Pong.) 66. If a large snake catches a man off guard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once. 67. No man shall wear a beret unless it’s for his military service. 68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone. 69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man. 70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex. 71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story. 72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissible. Besides, sharing is caring. 73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only. 74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man. 75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand. 76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men. 77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone. 78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth. 79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch. 80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice. 81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, Lacrosse, or Ice Hockey. 82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys. 83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavoured that comes in a bottle. 84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female. 85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry. 1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph. 2. Your date is using her teeth. 3. Anna Kournikova gets married (female’s identity is subject to change depending on time period Man Law is read). 86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing. 87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-toeye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away. 88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man. 89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions. 90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her. 91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monte Cristo, CAO. 92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined. 93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. 94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence. 95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours. 96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw". 97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!" (Exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%) 98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale. 99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable. 100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case. 101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it. 102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean. 103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your best friend’s birthday is optional) 104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriend’s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. 105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing. You should know such things. 106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood. 107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favour of better athletes - as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline. 108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response. 109. You cannot rat out a friend who shows up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks it’s broken, or have him paged every seven minutes. 110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was. 111. Everybody is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. And as such said people must consume alcohol on St. Patrick’s Day. Green and/or gold body paint may be worn, but no glitter. 112. When passing another man in a tight area where contact is possible, hole to hole or pole to pole is only acceptable. If it is pole to pole no eye contact should be made. If any detour from this is spotted by any onlooking men, possible labels such as "Fag" may be deemed necessary. Resulting immediate demotion in man status. Murphy's War Law 1. Friendly fire - isn't. 2. Recoilless rifles - aren't. 3. Suppressive fires - won't. 4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. 5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. 6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. 7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. 8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. 9. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. 10. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. 11. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. 12. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. 13. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. 14. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: -when they're ready. -when you're not. 15. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. 16. There is no such thing as a perfect plan. 17. Five second fuses always burn three seconds. 18. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. 19. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The Ol' Ranger's addendum: Or else they're trying to suck you into a serious ambush! 20. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. 21. The easy way is always mined. 22. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. 23. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire... For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. 24. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. 25. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. 26. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. 27. Incoming fire has the right of way. 28. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. 29. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. 30. If the enemy is within range, so are you. 31. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. 32. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't. 33. Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way. 34. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. 35. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially during both). 36. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing. 37. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out. 38. Tracers work both ways. 39. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. 40. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right. 41. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. 42. Military Intelligence is a contradiction. 43. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up. 44. Weather ain't neutral. 45. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you. 46. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.' 47. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue. 48. Napalm is an area support weapon. 49. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. 50. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon. 51. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone. 52. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity. 53. The one item you need is always in short supply. 54. Interchangeable parts aren't. 55. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about. 56. When in doubt, empty your magazine. 57. The side with the simplest uniforms wins. 58. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. 59. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. 60. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep. 61. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. 62. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan. 63. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ. 64. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake. 65. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. 66. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain. 67. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. 68. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. 69. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn. 70. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. 71. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator. 72. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 73. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. 74. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything. 75. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp). 76. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short. 77. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible. 78. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA. 79. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want. 80. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism, to steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. 81. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60. 82. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that bill is filled by someone else. 83. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack, when you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night. 84. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor. 85. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. 86. Murphy was a grunt. 87. Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases. 88. Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action. 89. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range. 90. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather. 91. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance. 92. The crucial round is a dud. 93. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be. 94. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole. 95. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything. 96. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you, if your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it, if your flank march is going well the enemy expects you to outflank him. 97. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target. 98. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one. 99. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out. 100. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness). 101. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work. 102. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. 103. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel. 104. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands right at your feet. 105. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. 106. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. 107. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover. 108. Walking point = sniper bait. 109. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day. 110. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. 111. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy. 112. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. 113. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it. 114. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. 115. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush. 116. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. 117. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap. 118. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions. 119. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you... and miss. 120. Don't be conspicuous; in the combat zone it draws fire, out of the combat zone it draws sergeants, if they can see you, so can the enemy... All or any of the above combined. 121. Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone. 122. Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life. 123. Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short is the ration of shit. 124. Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed. 125. A half filled canteen is a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon. 126. When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow. 127. It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo. 128. If you survive an ambush, something's wrong. 129. If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too. 130. Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they illuminate you too. 131. Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas. 132. There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both. Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or both. 133. Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just in case." 134. You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first. 135. Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up. 136. You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear services. 137. You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right. 138. Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted night's sleep. 139. "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms. 140. Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea. 141. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy. 142. Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest. 143. Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough. 144. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need. 145. If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part. 146. Happiness is a belt fed weapon. 147. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative. 148. If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone. 149. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish in them. 150. A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics. 151. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better. 152. Being shot hurts. 153. Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day, a few were even awarded. 154. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules. 155. C-4 can make a dull day fun. 156. There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose. 157. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. 158. If you lose you don't care. 159. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow, what is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem. 160. Always make sure someone has a can opener. 161. Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt. 162. Flying is better than walking, walking is better than running, running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is technically, is a form of flying. 163. If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either. 164. Carrying any weapon that you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is NOT A GOOD IDEA! -A combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in an instant and will point and shoot. -Not only that, AKs use green tracers which mean "shoot 'em all and let God sort them out". 165. As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!" Dear bullies, See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't Your life is probably not as harsh as theirs. |
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