Hi!

What to say about myself here? Hmmm, I'm English, I love to write, I'm obsessed with zombies, I draw (badly), I'm addicted to coffee, my job is very boring and I smoke far too much. Is that enough?

Muh fandom is South Park - I read and write mostly slash, although I'll read anything in the fandom as long as it's well written and in character. I'm currently obsessed with Christophe and Gregory, there really aren't enough stories with these two out there. I'm also a big fan of both Kenny and Craig. Although I don't mind Style stories, I prefer K2 or Stenny (maybe I just don't like to see Kenny left out?). I'm a bit of a pairing whore actually, I really don't mind most pairings or will at least give them a try.

Stories:

That Future Thing: Complete. The first thing I ever wrote for South Park, based on a challenge idea by Call Me Blue Streak. Stan and Kyle find their nine year old selves in a future where Cartman is attempting to take over the world. The only people with any hope of stopping him are the Resistance, led by a maniacally insane Professor Chaos. I had a damn good time writing this and it helped me get a feel for the characters.

One Shots: This is where I put my one shots. Duh. So far, these include:

Waiting: A role-reversal type thing, mainly revolving around thoughts of Kenny. I thought it was kinda melancholy.

Outlaw: More action-based and my first ever attempt at slash. Cartman tries to get back at Craig by using Tweek in his fiendish scheme. Damn, I had fun writing this one. I liked writing Tweek as less of a wimp than he's sometimes portrayed as - he's paranoid and easily freaked out, but he's certainly willing to act when he needs to.

Grave: Bit of a story behind this one. I was walking home from a party going past a graveyard and for some reason, a song popped into my head only slightly changed - "Oh, Kenny Mac, when are ya comin' back?" This of course sent me into drunken snickers all the way home. I very vaguely remember writing this story in a fit of alcohol-induced insomnia and found it the next morning on the hard drive. I left it unposted for a while because I didn't trust anything I wrote while hammered, even after checking it sober. But I had a good response to it! For those who were curious, I'm pretty sure the narrator was supposed to be Kyle, because I was on a K2 kick at the time.

Sense: Another action story, with a suggestion of slash but nothing overt. Christophe and Gregory get into an awkward situation, where Christophe is temporarily blind and Gregory temporarily mute. So how do they communicate their escape plans to each other? I really love writing these two, but all the stories I pair them up in tend to be kind of the same, the main reason this is the first to be published. But writing them has at least given me a handle on writing the characters.

Cold: I wrote this story a while ago, for my good friend Evil Chibi Kitten. She had a birthday coming up and I thought a story would be a nice gift She's a Bunny lover, so it seemed a good place to start - but I was stumped, didn't have a clue. This story occurred to me like, two days before the day and you have no idea how relieved I was. I had been wondering about Kenny dying, if he has a new body or the old one knits together somehow and if he has the same one, would it be possible to keep him dead by not letting him heal. Thus, this story was born. Happy birthday Kitten!

Anywhere Else But Here: This story was originally called “Oh No You Didn't!” after the song on the Mercenaries 2 advert. I came up with the idea of Christophe, Kenny and Craig being a team first, then the K squared angle - the plot came along later. My idea was that it would be mostly serious with a few humorous moments, however, the characters had other ideas and I had to struggle to stop descending into total crazed insanity. I fell crazy in love with writing Christophe and Gregory during the course of the story, started liking Tweek far more than I had before and began imagining the other characters personalities in far more detail than I previously had. I never, ever expected it to be as popular and widely praised as it has become! It's complete and I'm very sad, because writing it was so much fun.

Possessions: This story is much darker than AEBH, although it does have its funny moments. It came about when I realised that although I enjoyed the Damien/ Pip stories available, many of them seemed to forego Damien's dak side, making him just a tiny bit wicked rather than evil incarnate. I realised why when I started writing. It's hard to make someone who's essentially bad have the selflessness to care about another person, plus I didn't want him to be some boring, one-dimensional character either. I tried to balance it by making him see most people as toys, combined with some genuine affection and bratty behaviour with Satan. How well it succeeds in that is another matter. And I wanted to write Pip - call it national pride, I wanted to make him less of a frigging wuss! It's now complete - although the ending caused me some trouble. I didn't know whether or not to give it an ultra-depressing ending, there were three or four ways in which that could happen, or if I should roll with a happy ending. Eventually, I considered how I'd feel if I was a reader rather than the writer, what would I prefer to see given what had gone before? It's my most popular story to date, so I guess the end I picked was the right one!

Songs used in Possessions, in chapter order: Nothin's Free by Alice Cooper, Bodies by Drowning Pool, Bat Country by Avenged Sevenfold, Follow Me by Pain, The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden, Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails, Cry Little Sister by the Sisters of Mercy, Show Me Love by Tatu, Until It Sleeps by Metallica, It's Me by Alice Cooper. I listen to a lot of Alice when I'm writing Damien fics. There are two chapters short there, I know - the first chapter was named randomly before I decided to use music and chapter 11 is actually a quote from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which I used because it's the catchphrase of myself and my BFF when we're in the shit. Or at a certain point in a horror film.

Crack Bunnies: Sometimes, I get really silly ideas. They eat at my brain, refusing to leave me in peace until I write them out. I didn't want them putting with the other one shots, which are canon or fanon, hence this new category. They fall (or will fall) into two types; crack parings made serious or not-necessarily-crack-pairings in ridiculous situations. The first and so far only story is called What What In The Butt and is all about assbabies. I also messed with the traditional fanon seme/ uke stereotypes a little. I'm really not fond of strict sexual stereotyping and it probably shows.

The Costly Coffee Conspiracy: I noticed I write most of the time in the third person past tense and wanted to try something new. And when I conceived the idea, I was wired from too much coffee... y'know, just for a change (insert sarcasm here). I let my Inner Tweek out to play and you know what? It's fun. It's a LOT of fun. I'm on a bit of a crack pairing kick - you might have noticed - and it was amusing to play with odd pairings while going nuts with conspiracy theories. Narratophilia is a real kink by the way, but there are no cases in Real Life (that I know of) like Craig's, for most people it's a turn-on and not a twitch. The file the chapters are kept in is called Christeek. I'm hoping the name catches on. Also the pairing.

What Happens In Yardale: I wanted to write a story with Damien and Gregory as a couple for Crack Bunnies and was working on a one-shot in which they hated each other but made a deal. At the same time, I had an image of Christophe and Gregory that I wanted to draw but was repeatedly unsuccessful with, which had Christophe visiting Gregory at Yardale. The image hit the one-shot and the seeds of this story were sown. Originally, the idea was that Christophe would be hired to kill the Anti-Christ who attended Yardale, only to find that his old friend was involved with Damien for reasons of his own. But I was also quite irritated by the lack of stories that had Gregory without Christophe, although there were several the other way around. I erased Christophe from the equation and ran with it. I'm pleased with this story so far and the slash... is finally here!

Songs used in WHY (so far) in chapter order: Them Bones by Alice in Chains, Getting Away With Murder by Papa Roach, Hellraiser by Motorhead, Smothered by Spineshank, Omen by The Prodigy, The Game by Motorhead, I Can't Decide by the Scissor Sisters, The Pretender by Foo Fighters, Sin by Nine Inch Nails, Fight For All The Wrong Reasons by Nickelback, Lullaby by The Cure, This Love by Pantera, Face to Face by Souxie and the Banshees, The New Dark Ages by Bad Religion, Love Me Dead by Ludo. Yeah, there's any number of private jokes in there.

Seize The Day: I was sitting at home one day, not thinking about much of anything, listening to music. And then, this story slammed into my head whole. Kinda hurt actually. I went over to my computer, started writing and barely left the keyboard for about a fortnight. This is so far from my usual crack-tastic humour and I thought when I gave away what was really going on, I would have a lot of angry reviewers on my tail. However, the response was hugely positive. It's now complete and I'm really proud of it. I used a lot of dated songs deliberately, since a lot of the action is retrospective and I thought it added to the atmosphere.

Songs used in STD (yes the abbreviation does make me snigger): Seize the Day, by Avenged Sevenfold, Eve of Destruction by Barry McGuire, Have You Ever Seen The Rain by the Creedence Clearwater Revival, Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen, Forever Young by Alphabeat, Wishing Well by Free, A Town Called Malice by The Jam, Surrender by Cheap Trick, Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones, I Drove All Night by Roy Orbison, Young Lust by Aerosmith, Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty, Snuff by Slipknot, My Back Pages by Bob Geldof.

A Note About My Writing: I write simply because I enjoy writing and I share what I think others might get a kick out of, but that doesn't mean I don't get the warm fuzzies when I see a review! I love reviews. I'm happy with the one-liners, even happier with the ones that go into specifics. I'm also cool with receiving critisism (and by cool, I mean I sulk for a few minutes before realising the reviewer had a point and amending the problem, lol). I am very bad at sending replies to reviews though. All reviewers are mentioned in a new chapter and thanked, but it's pretty rare that I send individual replies. No reason, only that often there's not a lot to say except for 'thank you'.

FANART!!

Yes, I have received some! And I'm proud and happy to have it too. Everyone praise the amazing Aiconx for an awesome picture based on 'What Happens in Yardale'. I still haven't stop bouncing excitedly at getting the gift, which is making it quite difficult to drink coffee ;)

http:///art/What-Happens-In-Yardale-160619256

More praise for Aiconx, who also posed for a picture based on the short story Communication along with dFlisendorf. I love this one!

http:///photography/?qh=§ion=&q=communication+south+park#/d2pppb1

Evil Chibi Kitten also drew a picture of the regulars on our RP site - I would be the one in the middle, smoking furiously :D We have a lot of fun on that site, I spend probably far too much time there and having a group pic is cool!

http:///art/SlashLuvsYouBiatch-160549669

xxSay also wrote an excellent story based off Seize the Day. It unnerved me a little actually, because she spied things that I had been planning to put in later chapters but weren't there yet! It's a good story and just shows how astute the author is, so go check it out!

http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/5924320/1/Can_Only_Hear_Me

The Meme Of Doom:

Actually, I just like using the phrase, "The (insert whatever here) of Doom". And then following it with an evil laugh. This is the third time I did this and undoubtedly not the last. Chose the list by pulling the names out of an ashtray in that order.

1. Kyle

2. Cartman

3. Kenny

4. Damien

5. Craig

6. Stan

7. Gregory

8. Clyde

9. Tweek

10. Butters

11. Christophe

12. Pip

Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? (Stan/ Christophe)

One, but it involved a threesome with Kyle. It was awesome actually. And I'd love to read one featuring just the two of them... a fic that is, not necessarily a lemon, lol.

Do you think Four is hot? How hot? (Damien)

He's the Antichrist. He sets things on fire just by thinking about it. If that's not hot, I don't know what is.

What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? (Pip/ Clyde)

...We'd all be extremely confused.

Can you recall any fic(s) about Nine? (Tweek)

Tons. Because Tweek is awesome.

Would Two and Six make a good couple? (Cartman/ Stan)

Um, no. Although they don't really hate each other that much. There's no chemistry. Unless they were doing it to make Kyle jealous... GAH! ATTACK OF THE RABID PLOTBUNNY!!

Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? (Craig/ Tweek or Craig/ Butters)

Craig/ Tweek. I luffs Creek. Having said which, I'd really like to see someone find a way to get Craig and Butters into a relationship... and what the hell would happen there.

What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? (Gregory on Cartman/ Pip)

He'd berate Pip for letting down the ENTIRE COUNTRY.

Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. (Kenny/ Butters)

Is this even a challenge? Come on, it's BUNNY! Okay, summary, uh...

A bi-curious Butters has five dollars and no bottom bitch. Fortunately, there's one kid in school who can be bribed into anything.

...Wow, harder than I thought it'd be. That's so lame!

Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? (Kyle/ Clyde)

Um, not that I can recall. Could be wrong though.

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. (Gregory/ Pip)

No more need for dreaming. Which the England fans might recogise.

What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One? (Damien/ Kyle)

“I want the Antichrist inside me!” Obviously.

Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? (Kenny)

Yup, sure.

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? (Christophe)

Everyone does. Because Ze Mole rules all zere ees to rule, beetches!

Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? (Cartman/ Damien/ Craig)

...Maybe if I bribed them with booze. Because that group isn't something to be tackled sober.

What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? (Butters)

“HAMBURGERS!”

If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, which song would you choose? (Clyde)

Frig, it just occurred to me I had Clyde as number eight last time too. I chose 'Boys Don't Cry' by The Cure. Is it cheating to use it twice?

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warnings be? (Kyle/ Stan/ Pip)

WARNING: Shows how to lie back and think of England with Style! Also contains many shitty puns just like that one.

What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? (Butters/ Cartman)

In Saddam-esque 'Oh Satan' voice “Ohhhh Hamburgers! I haz them!”

“Wanna put your dick in my mouth... again?”

“Why so serious?”

Oh come on, they're bad pick up lines but at least there's a lot of choice!

When was the last time you read a fic about Five? (Craig)

Recently. There are a lot of them!

What is Six's super-secret kink? (Stan)

Roman showers XD

Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober? (Christophe/ Tweek)

Oh yes he would. Either drunk or sober. Dudes, I love this pairing! Hell, I wrote this pairing! Christeek FTW!

If Three and Seven get together, who tops? (Kenny/ Gregory)

Wow, that's a tricky one! They'd take turns. But I think Gregory would mostly top, heh heh.

1 and 7 are in a happy relationship until 7 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief unhappy affair with 12, then follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 3. (Kyle and Gregory are in a happy relationship until Gregory suddenly runs off with Damien. Kyle, broken-hearted, has a hot one night stand with Christophe and a brief, unhappy affair with Pip before following the wise advice of Craig and finding true love with Kenny)

This story would make me so happy.

Kyle and Gregory are a happy couple, who got together while studying for some honours society thingie-whatsit. However, Damien has always had a deep, dark passion for blonde British men and finds wearing Gregory down very, very satisfying. Gregory, for his part, has never been able to resist the bad-boy type and they don't get much badder than this. He ditches Kyle and falls into Damien's arms, causing much shock throughout town.

Kyle is devastated, as is Christophe, who was just waiting for Gregory and Kyle to split before making his move on the blonde... he hadn't figured on the Antichrist getting there first. Kyle and Christophe meet up one night, planning to murder Damien, dismember his corpse and then wrestle naked in mud to win Gregory's love. However, while practising their mud-wrestling, they find themselves unaccountably aroused and y'know, one thing leads to another and all that. It is quite literally, the dirtiest sex of their lives. And mud's only a good lubricant until it dries, then it gets quite crumbly and hard to explain.

The two part ways the following morning with clay in their boxers (but great skin) and are never able to speak to each other again. This rather hampers their plan to jointly dispose of Damien, so Kyle goes with plan B; if he can't get Gregory back, he'll replace him. What he needs is another blonde, preferably with a British accent. And there's one person in South Park who fits that description. Getting together is simple, Kyle walks up to Pip and informs him they're a couple. Pip's too polite to say anything but, “Right-o then!”

It's not good. It's a fucking disaster. Pip's not into Kyle but doesn't want to be rude. Kyle's not into Pip, who's far too insecure and pleasant to be a good replacement for Gregory, in spite of the accent. And everyone knows just why Kyle's into Pip. Kyle runs around sporting Pip like a trophy, flaunting their affair in front of Gregory and Damien. Gregory isn't arsed but weirdly, Damien is.

Craig has no personal involvement in all this and is watching from afar in amusement. However, he soon stops being amused when he realises his smoking buddy Kenny is getting quite bummed out by the whole thing. He's always had a thing for Kyle and watching him make a tit of himelf over some other boys isn't much fun. Craig gets fed up of Kenny's long, mournful sighs, searches out Kyle and informs him that although he doesn't care, Kyle is making an idiot of himself and should leave Pip alone, stop obsessing over Gregory and if he's so into blondes, find one that he actually likes, hint hint, and get over it. Craig then flips him off and leaves. Kyle mulls this over, decides he's right and breaks up with Pip, much to Pip's relief. He also puts together what he found attractive about his recent affairs – the blonde hair, blue eyes and occasional difficulty in understanding what the hell they're saying that led to his trysts with Gregory and Pip, although with Christophe, it was the dirty mind and the dirty sex. Wait! There's one person in South Park who has all those attributes! And he's also one of Kyle's best friends! Could it be, his soul mate was right in front of his eyes all along?

Kyle runs over to Kenny's and jumps him in a fit of unrestrained lust. This makes Kenny quite cheerful. Meanwhile, Damien realises his own behaviour was very much like Kyle's, replacing his preferred English blonde with a replacement. Gregory has also come to believe he was acting just like Kyle, not noticing his ideal partner was actually his best friend this whole time. They have a mutually awkward break-up; Damien informs Pip they are now dating and Pip gives Damien the same answer he gave Kyle, but with a lot more feeling this time. Gregory isn't about to admit his mistake to Christophe, but that's okay because at leasst they're friends again and Christophe has asked Gregory to give him some help with a large hole in the back yard that's filled with mud for some reason...

And once more, all is right with the world. The end.

How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon? (Gregory/ Clyde)

A lot of fangirls would be confused, including this one. But not entirely displeased.