![]() Author has written 13 stories for Twilight. Okay, not much to say about myself. I'll let my favorite things tell you. Well besides the facts that i am semicrazy, i have two best friends, i'm a junior in highschool, i don't freak when i see someone famous, my name is Meg, i am female, and i am very, very sarcastic. Oh, and i'm writting a book myself. I am an artist...I would post some of my artwork on my profile, but i don't want to be told 'you suck' or anything. I'm not bad, it's just my scanner doesn't cooperate. I actually like the thought of having children after i'm out of college...if i go. Im not sure that i will anymore what with the book writing...and drawing...and all kinds of stuff... I've never reacted normally to things. I can sit through a tornado without feeling threatened. everyone else around me will be freaking out and i'm at a calm... Favorite quotes... I'm a little tea pot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my... Well i'll be damned. I'm a sugar bowl. SILENCE! I kill you!- Achmed the Dead Terrorist. Gotta love it. I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by- Captain Jack Sparrow. Yay! You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement imediately. Ociffer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God. SARCASM is just another free service i offer. I like you. when the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up. Anybody want a peanut? hehehe...guesses anyone? no, i will not kill the jews. I will toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death...yes, yes, I did the same thing with two catholic priests once except i tossed in a small boy. The winner had to fight Michael Jackson! once again Achmed the dead terrorist...well damn...guess this one isnt in function anymore but i'll keep it lol Silly blondes, brains are for brunettes! If you didn't have feet, would you wear shoes? No? Well then why do you wear a bra? Is it a bad sign if even my imaginary friends won't talk to me? SAVE THE TREES! Wipe your butt with an owl. The more i get to know boys, the more I like dogs. There are a lot of flat squirrels on the road who couldn't make up their mind. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. If you're going to have two faces, can you at least make one of them pretty? Knock knock. Who's there? Me, I kill you. Don't let your mind wander. It's much to small to go unsupervised. walk a mile in someone elses shoes. Then you're a mile away from them and you've got their shoes! Boys are like slinkys. Useless, but fun to push down the stairs It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers...aw cute A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. I have my own little world, but its okay...they know me here. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. Random things to do... BBQ (randomest thing you can say in the middle of a conversation unless it's about BBQ) go into an elevator and when someone walks in, glare mercelessly, then laugh maniacly, poke them, and repeat. Here is a joke i think you all might enjoy... A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Another Joke... There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him 5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her 50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him 5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde 50.00 The blonde put the 50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him 5. |