Name: Yeah...no...sorry...
Gender:Why this is of importance eludes me, if I'm male does that mean I can't write Romance? If I'm female does that mean I can't write a fight scene? If you must know I am female...yes yes, run and hide, I know where to find you...
Age:What is your measurement for age? I've been told many times that I have been an eighty year old woman since I was old enough to speak, on the other hand I am more than capable of acting like a five year old should the chance present itself.
An Idea about me:
My family puts the FUN in DisFUNction, we have regular arguments on the oddest things (i.e. is comparing a woman to a car only sexist depending on the car she's being compared to? Or my personal favorite, 'upon the destruction of humanity who would inherit the earth? The Roaches or the Twinkies?), the ranges in religion range from atheist to southern Baptist, and from Wicca to Jehovah Witness...no we don't get into religion or politics much, to much figurative-and sometimes literal- bloodshed.

Facts of Life and Other Various Questions:

*The Fratellis are the best band on earth. End of story. If you have not heard of them, or heard their music, go. Leave now, abandon what ever you are doing, leave the kids with nan and paps, if you're in your pajama's don't even bother to change, hell don't even stop to get in the car, just run. They're that good. End of story.
Just...don't watch the music video to Mistress Mabel, it's a little...strange...even by my standards.

There is an undeniable entertainment value in putting various objects in a microwave and watching them explode, I don't care how childish it might seem. And no matter what anyone says, you can't -no matter who you are- put a CD in there and not be facinated by the effects.

No offence ment to all the females out there, but about 80 percent of the time guys make the easier friend. Now I'm not saying that guys make better friends, I'm not saying that girl's make crappy friends, I'm just saying that when it comes to the fundimental differences between the two genders guys are a lot less likely to make you want to punch something. Again, no offence, I'm just saying that depending on what's going on in my life I honestly don't know how anyone can deal with me, and I know for a fact that there are certain occasions where I don't know how I'm supposed deal with my girlfriends. End of story.

Life is like ice skating for the first time, you slip and fall and generally look like an idiot and just as you get the hang of it some guy is getting ready to plow your ass over with a Zamboni.

A note to the guys out there, sometimes girls just don't want to watch you do stupid stuff...sometimes we want to join in on the fun.

A question to all the non-vegitarians out there: why is the chicken the only thing we eat both before it's born and after it's dead?

A question to the vegitarians out there: What's the general viewpoint on bread? Technically speaking, yeast is a living thing, so...how exactly does it fit?

Why do mother's say 'don't play with...it will poke your eye out', the only way you can poke your eye out is if you stick it up your nose, otherwise you're just poking it in.

I'm all for women's rights, we've been denied them, we've had to fight for them, we have earned them, but I for one am all for a guy who will hold the door for me and pay for dinner. If he wants to let 'em at it.

Why are animal crackers called crackers, they aren't cracker like in the least and they are made out of cookie material...

How can I drink three smaller cups full of coffee, but be unable to finish one larger cup when the three cups in fact is more coffee than the one cup?

Who was the first person that ate a lobster and what was there thought process? Where they so hungry that they finally said "Aw screw it it's better than trying to eat rocks..."

Why is is that when I pull on a door that says push everyone looks at my like I'm an idiot, even though everyone has done it at least once in their life?

Why are small children so freaking creepy in horror movies? No, really, what the hell makes an adorable little kid that you would normally go 'awww' at the scariest thing on the freakin' planet?

A little background on who I am as a writer:
This is not my first account here, I actually had one before but through moving and various other issues I eventually - and heartbreakingly - lost my account information. Hating the work I had done anyway I just thought it better to start from scratch, and no I will not tell what my pen name used to be. The stuff I wrote should have been burned to the ground, and if not I myself should have been lynched for it.

A note about me on another matter. I will not submit a story until I have at least completed the first so many chapters and have written out an ending. Sorry to say that I have this horrible tendency to not finish my work if I get ahead of myself. So if you don't see any stories below...at all, then that is the reason.

So...unfortunatly I've had to pretty much give up on Cat's Cradle for now, I still have plans for it and I may return to it one day...but I'm pretty sure it's dead. As well as getting ahead of myself, I also have a really bad habit of thinking out waaayyy to many possibilities for a single piece and what usually happens is I end up waiting to see which one I like best before I finally end up losing interest in the piece before I even get halfway through writing it. Quite honestly it's a pain in the ass...