Well! How ya doing? I hope you enjoy my crazy fics... ehhe.. now, quotes!
"I'm one of those bad things that happens to good people."
"Be like a duck: calm on the surface, but paddling like Hell underneath."
"If a mute kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?"
"She may not look nice kid, but she's got it where it counts."
"Look out, it's a drunken eagle!"
"Beware of the I.E!"
"Alonzo! Gimme back my tail or you'll be purple forever!"
"Marius, Marius, Marius, Marius!"
"Snape is GOD!"
"Then suddenly, an unconcious argentinian fell through my roof followed by a midgette dressed like a nun!"
"I'll tell you in another life, when we're both cats."
"The sweet is always better after the sour."
"Enjoy this minute, it's your life."
"When I say rare, I mean let it stare at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me!"
"P.S. I LOVE SNAPE!"
"Wuz up H.G?"
"Shibby."
"You cannot ignore the shibby!"
"You must BE the shibby!"
"Let the shibby flow through you."
"Love the shibby, embrace the shibby."
"Lelio, mon amour, save me?"
"Random rainbows holding random microphones under random roadboxes with random people."
"Holly, guess what!?"
"Random Wolverine moment, Grrr!"
"Random Gimli moment, ARRGG!"
"I will, Normal you, Slinky you, Pounce you, and then I'll Shibby you!"
"My mom said I'll never amount to anything because I procrastinate, I said: just wait."
"Life is anything that dies when you step on it."
"I used to be skitzofrenzic, but we're okay now."
"You're what I never knew I always wanted."
"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. And if you still can't do it after that, then you've spent a lot of time trying to do something you couldn't do in the first place."
"I feel like I'm perpendicularly parked in a paralell universe."
"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film."
"Sorry, I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you."
"A day without sunshine is like.. well.. night.."
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they'll be a mile away and barefoot."
"Don't look back, somebody might be gaining on you."
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
"You may think you know, but you have no idea."
"Some people are alive only because manslaughter is illegal."
"Pain is a part of the growing experience.. so go slam your head into a wall and mature a little."
"HA, I say! HA! And double HA! HAHA! HAHAHA and a disbelieving chortle too." (This is from: Remembering Alice, a FANTASTIC Megavolt fic by Maincoon!)
"You know, every person in your dreams is actually you.. even if it's somebody you hate, it's just some part of you you can't stand."
"Megavolt: Darkwing duck? He is NOT deserving of a title THAT cool! Bushroot: Darkwing Duck? More like Dipwing Dork."
"The truth? You can't handle the truth! No, truth handler are you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!"
"That was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch."
"Very funny Scotty, now beam up my clothes."
"I brake for imaginary creatures only I can see."
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours forever. If it doesn't... hunt it down and kill it!"
"Women, now you see them, now you don't."
"Jesus is coming; everybody look busy!"
"When I'm quiet, you'd better find me.."
"I put the 'fun' in dysfunctional."
"God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends."
"Is it time for your medication or mine?"
"I just got lost in thought! Unfamillar territory.."
"Been there, done that.. don't remember most of it."
"Bad cop! No doughnut!"
"My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely!"
"This is NOT the life I ordered!"
"What happens if you get scared half to death.. twice?"
"You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot."
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the people in his car."
"Out of my mind... back in 5 minutes."
"If you drink don't park! Remember: accidents cause people!"
"It's been lovely, but I have to scream now."
"If it ain't broke.. fix it till it is!"
"Few women admit their age... fewer men act theirs."
"How can I miss you if you won't go away?"
"I don't suffer from insanity! I enjoy every minute of it!"
"Money doesn't talk.. it swears."
"The light at the end of the tunnel is an approaching train!"
"It's hard to think of you as the result of millions of years of evolution."
"The world is 98% full, delete anyone you can!"
"Join the navy! Sail to far-off exotic places, meet interesting people... then kill them."
"If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', what is the opposite of Progress?"
"I always thought I'd look back on us crying and laugh.. I never thought I'd look back on us laughing.. and cry."
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
"A memory is what is left when something happens that never truly unhappens."
"If you cry because the sun has gone from your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars."
"This life is only a test. Had it been an actual life, you would have recieved instructions."
"Try not to worry about life.. you won't survive it anyhow."
"Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you."
"The longer you complain, the longer God makes you live."
"You can't scare me.. I teach."
"You see.. I would date you, but the voices in my head.. they don't like you very much.."
"I'm not lost! Somebody just moved my street.."
"It was so dark, I couldn't see my hand behind my back!"
"Give me a dingle I'll call you on the dangle. Call the old number we'll give you the new one.. and while I'm at it, I'm gonna chef your boy-r-dee."
" " -Harpo Marx
"It's generally agreed that 'hello' is the apropriate greeting. Because if you walked into a room and said 'goodbye', it could cause confusion.."
"I never forget a face.. but in your case I'll make an exception."
"This isn't right! This isn't even wrong!"
"Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel."
"The inspiring Maharaja with teeth from the Moulin Rouge and the asthamtic lion with overactive eyebrows who live in the little bitty house wanna know if you're going to the prom, or if you're gonna be in Grease so we can breed 'em. But if we breed 'em, then they'll kill each other 'cause they're pyschos. Just like Darkwing Duck! With his stupid mask and stupid hat and stupid cape and stupid gas gun. He's so stupid, that I, Megavolt, and my friends, Bushroot, The Liquid *pause* ator and QuackerJack will have to kill him. But we won't invite *Dun dun dun* Negaduck, because *dun dun dun* Negaduck will throw 'The Switch' to 'Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!' And our relationship with him has been squeltured. P.S. I am the Green Fairy, and my job is to torture Chelsea! Torture Chelsea!" (Hey, guys, did I miss anything? Hehehehe..)
"Excuse me, is this the lost and found? Because I found you, and you lose!" *I love Megsy.. ;) *
"Oh, yeah yeah, somebody call the Waaahmbulance. Did you order a wahhmburger with thos frenchcries?"
"FRANK IS LIVING IN MY FOOT!"
"I prefer to do it standing... Oh, no, no you don't have to stand.. it's, well, you see sometimes.. well, it's very long and I want you to be comfortable. You see, it's very modern what I do, but.. but I think that if you're open to it.. you'll enjoy it!"
"I'll ask you tomorrow, after school, after I'm done gloating." HA HA HA SARAH! HA HA HA!
"Random Megavolt Moment.."
"(From Audition Form: Do you have any conflicts from 2:00 - 5:00 weekdays?) Answers:
No, like a true actor, I have no life.
Conflict? You're suggesting life right? Life, what is this.. life?
What do you think, I'm here from 1:45 until 3:30 most days annoying the crap outta you!"
"Give me my freedom, and in that freedom, I will never leave you."
"A book report on Peter Rabit!"
"I hate wearing dresses! I even have trouble wearing dance to dresses!"
"DOCTOR: Ok, now we're going to watch a young, well-built sailor have a tatoo removed from his buttocks. *Jack looks at Karen.* KAREN: Go ahead baby."
"I used to be lost in the shuffle.. now I just shuffle along with the lost."
"Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints."
"I worship the ground that awaits you."
"I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference."
"Love your enemies, it'll make them crazy!"
"It's devastating, he's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy, of course you'll have to kill him."
"When he wakes up tell him.. I don't know. Think of something cool and tell him I said it."
"Your mouth is open. Sound is coming out. That is never good."
"She's the gnat in my ear. The gristle in my teeth. She's the bloody thorn in my bloody side!"
"That's creepy on a level I never knew existed..."
"That's it, this has got to stop. It's time for me to act like a man... and hide."
"Cavalry's here; cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here."
"You don't hide! You're bait! Go act baity."
"Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to kiss -- ? Oh, wait. I get it."
"Yes. I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in a good way. It's a good bruise"
"Listen to a random group of Americans attempting to sing 'Happy Birthday,' and you will note that at any given moment they somehow manage to emit more different notes, total, than there are group members, creating a somber, droning sound such as might be created by severely asthmatic bagpipers, so that the birthday person, rather than feeling happy, winds up weeping into the cake."
"Oh, sure, you've seen TV commercials wherein the Cheerful Housewife, standing in a bathroom, waltzes up to a scum-encrusted tile, sprays it with a cleanser, and then wipes it off to reveal a sparkling shine. But these commercials were not filmed on Earth; they're filmed on the Commercial Planet, where everything is different; where fast-food-chain employees really are happy to serve you; where there is some meaningful difference between Coke and Pepsi."
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you."
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
"Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal."
"I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing."
"I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads."
"I don't treasure my weakness, your blood conveys power, I don't question that. Only a fool would. But I know from what I've learnt from all of you that the ability to die is key. If I drink your blood I'll become too strong for a simple act of suicide just as you are now. And I cannot allow that. Let me remain the human one among you. Let me acquire my strength slowly, as you did once, from time and from human blood. I wouldn't become what Lestat has become through his drinking from the ancients. I would not be that strong and that distant from an easy dimise."
"He seemed on the edge of total despair. He remained poised and somewhat collected, but his face was badly stricken, and then he seemed to pull himself together, and he looked to me to speak, as if no words could express what he felt."
"'When the sun rose,' Lestat said, 'when you saw it, when it burnt you before you were unconscious, what did you see?' Louis stared at Lestat for some few minutes, his face blank, as it always becomes when he is in a state of high emotion, and then his features softened, his brows knitted, and there came the dreaded tears to his eyes. 'Nothing,' He said. He bowed his head, but then he looked up helplessly. 'Nothing. I saw nothing and I felt that there was nothing. I felt it- empty, colorless, timeless. Nothing. That I had ever lived in any shape seemed unreal.' His eyes were shut tight, and he brought up his hand to hide his face from us. He was weeping. 'Nothing,' he said. 'Nothing at all.'"
"'Do you recognize it, David?' she asked me gravely. I was chilled as I stared at her. 'I took it from your body, David,' she said. 'I took it because I wouldn't let you go.' Lestat gave a small laugh that was tender and full of easy pleasure. I think that Louis was too stunned to speak."
"Hey, that's my tail! That's MY Tail! That is my personal tail! Whatcha gonn.. naw, you gonna tear it off! Woah! Heeey, whatcha gonna do with that?"
"Don't take my *hic* beer uncle Cre*hic*on! Hey.. aren't you *hic* my brother in law too? Eww *hic* where am *hic* I? West Virginia! Hey! *hic* Wait a sec.. *hic* Uncle CREEEEEEOOOON! Come back here *hic* with that rope! *hic* I'm suppossed to hang me.. *hic* you're not suppossed to *Hic* hang you!"
"I want you to be quiet, so quiet you can hear your blood flowing through your veins, so quiet you can hear the same blood flowing through mine."
"Arrg! Sorry, I was possessed by a pirate."
"Terrifried!"
"So what happens? I'm stuck with tingly teeth.."
"Life's short and hard, like a body building elf."
"Life is like a hobbit at the unrinals: always on your toes."
"You've heard the expression 'Too close for comfort?' That was pretty damned uncomfortable!"
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
"Pinky, when we take over the world, remind me to politically snub you."
"I am a sezy, sezy vampire."
"'Take me monsuier vampire! I adore you!' 'You wait your turn!'"
"No! Louis! I will only risk losin' chew!"
"Yes, and that would be restraining order number.. seven hundred fifty? Am I correct?"
"Can I bite him? Ooh please, oh please can I bite him? Just a nibble?"
"The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage."
"1: 'Hello dear brother! What have you got there?' 2: 'Nothing! Nothing! You only see air!' 1: 'Don't be silly! I love you very much! *Crash! Crush!* I guess I shouldn't touch.'"
"I'll be your lightning rod of hatrid."
"I heard the villagers talking, master! They said; Hey, what's with the sheep outift?"
"I'm fine Drew. I just lost my battery pack up my ass."
"G:Geoffry... E: Elliot. G: No, Geoffry, with a G. E: ELLIOT!"
"I love being here in the studio, 'cause during the break we all took a leak in Dawson's Creek."
"I'm a supercrab!"
"Happiness is.. catching a firefly... and SQUISHING IT!"
"I say we go and hunt down the DWBD and DTD and put 'em on stakes!"
"Nobody likes me.. *pause* Well, I like me."
"S: You have a heart of ice! F: No, I have no heart remember?"
"D: Oh no! What do I do now? M: Well, you could try putting it on negative LIKE I SAID IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"
"You know, I'm gonna feel kinda bad after this... they look like they're having fun!"
"Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. How many doctors are there on this planet?"
"I hate this feeling.. this.. this horrid feeling! I'm the chains.. the chains that people are hackled down by.. the chains.. that.. that hold people.. the chains.. oh damn the chains!"
"A DWBD DTD BBQ!"
"Doctor Powell, now that you've found Robert, I hope you take care of him."
"Bess! Where is Bess!?"
"1:Man! What is with this dude! He's not for the love and the passion! I'm for the love!
2: And the passion!
3: And the BO..."
"Ahahahhha, it's funny, because it's true."
"Ahahahhah, it's funny, because it's sad."
"Ahhahahah, it's funny, because it'll never happen."
"K: Grace, hunny, you're a little close.
G: That's because I'm going to Kick. Your. Ass.
K: Well, what'd I do?
G: You trumped my gift, my gift. I'm the girlfriend, my gift is su- oh! It doesn't matter. I'm going to Kick. Your. Ass.
K: Grace, hunny, you're scaring me.
G: Scaring me too, because I've never felt the desire to Kick. Your. Ass."
"A paranormal pajama party."
"I will mentally throw an M & M filled egg at you!"
"Mental: yum."
"Don't be upset that he won't let you play Mercutio, he's just scared 'cause you can be more manly then him."
"Brigette is the force with you!"
"She's a wonderful bitch."
"Thpawkling diamond."
"YAY Timmothy!!"
"Toulouse, quit making the CD skip!"
"All right, daughter, I've got your asshole here and I'm gonna-"
"All right, asshole! I've got your daughter here and I'm gonna- oh.. oh no miss, I'm terribly sorry.. I.. I must have dialed the wrong number... no, no I haven't got your daughter here, I've got somebody else's... No, no we're not married... Oh? Yes, I've read the same thing, it is remarkable how hard it is to find honest good men in today's society... Oh, no, personally I have no problem meeting your daughter, I-*click*"
"We got married in a castle in Scotland... that's in England.. you know, near Paris?"
"Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."
"10 things men know about women,
1)...
2)...
3)...
4)...
5)...
6)...
7)...
8)...
9)...
10) women have boobs."
"Don't interrupt me while I'm talking to myself."
"One of us is thinking about sex... ok, it's me."
"I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly."
"You never see a motorcycle parked outside of a psychiartrist's office."
"5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions."
"People like you are the reason people like me need medication."
"If you have something to say, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth."
"I'm sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot."
"It's only funny until somebody gets hurt... then it's hillarious!"
"You have the right to remain stupid. Everything you say can and will be ignored."
"Oh crap. You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?"
"I live in my own little world, but it's okay... they know me here."
"Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?"
"Normal people scare me."
"Try not to let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself."
"Lead me not to temptation... I can find it myself."
"Sometimes, when you want to catch something, you have to slow down.. and maybe it'll come to you."
"1: Knock Knock.
2: Who's there?
1: Abe Lincoln.
2: Abe Lincoln who?
1: Don't you know me? Knock knock.
2: Who's there?
1: Thomas Jefferson.
2: Thomas Jefferson who?
1: Nevermind that, was Abe Lincoln just here?"
"Hawkeye: Can I ask you just one question?
Tracker: Sure...
Hawkeye: Who is this strange man in bed with me?
Tracker: Oh, you wouldn't know me.. I followed you home from the movies."
"Miracles? Well, I remember this one time when I was at a party, I was sitting next to Miranda, and she was sitting there, looking all pretty and stuff. So I leaned in to kiss her, but I realized I had gum in my mouth! So, I turned my head to spit out the gum, and turned back to Miranda, and she was puking all over herself! I knew then, I knew it was a miracle. I could've been kissing her when she puked! I never would have recovered! I would have been scared for life!"
"I am Huin! God of Planet Bob! And I ride Charlie, the munchkin Oompa Loompa."
"NO STRAIGHT JACKET CAN HOLD HUIN! AWAY CHARLIE! AWAY!! GO! GO!"
"YOU CANNOT HIT HUIN WITH TRANQULIZERS! FASTER MY STEED!"
"My name is Chelsea, I like chicks. I like to eat 'em. They make noises when you squeeze 'em. The little cream filled kind? The peeps? What were you thinking."
"Rock-a-doodle!!!!"
"Doodle-rock-AAAA!!!"
"Too late puny mortal! Huin is here to stay! AHAHAH! MWAUAHAHAHHAHAHAH!"
"You win, feathered one.. but never fear! Huin will be baaaaaaaaaaack!"
"I.. I'll always be there to catch you! And if I don't, I'll be right there to nurse you back to health!"
"Damn red bubbles."
"Don't be too upset, everyone despises you as much as me."