WELCOME TO RAINVILLA'S WONDERLAND

Hello there! I'm rainvilla, an aspiring writer of my favorite anime and books. I really appreciate people who give time and effort in reviewing my stories. As of now, I'm currently writing a cardcaptor sakura fanfiction, entitled, "Imperfection." i guess this is my best work so far since I was able to make a rough plot of the story already.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: For those of you guys who have been waiting for an update on IMPERFECTION, there will be NO UPDATES until June 2015 because I'm currently studying for a Licensure Examination. So sorry for leaving you hangin' on Imperfection but I gotta chase after my dream first. But as soon as I pass this examination this May 2015, I'll go back to writing Imperfection. Wish me luck :)

GET PERSONAL w/ RAINVILLA

Education: College student

Physical Features: Long brownish black hair, black almond shaped eyes, and medium figure.

Hobbies: writing stories, playing the ukelele, watching anime, movies and television series.

Likes: Anime, cosplay, classical music, korean and japanese pop culture and music or any heart warming songs

Dislikes: Spiders, mean people, bullies

FAVORITES

Anime: Card captor sakura, gakuen alice, kaichou wa maid sama, lovely complex, kimi ni todoke, nodame cantabile too many to mention the rest

Books: Twilight, Harry Potter, The Notebook

TV Series: F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men

Movies: Time traveler's wife, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Bridge of Terabithia

Korean Series: Coffee Prince, You're Beautiful, Boys Over Flowers, Secret Garden

Korean Movies: A Moment to Remember, Heaven's Postman, Do re mi fa so la si do

Japanese Series: Hana Kimi, Hana Yori Dango

Japanese Movies: Koizora, Tada Kimi Wo Aishiteru, Kimi ni Todoke live action

--TRUE TO LIFE STORY--

YELLOW ROSE

I have this guy in the past where we were best of friends in every single way. We met when he transferred in our school. I used to dislike him and really avoided him as much as I can but he was so persistent that soon enough, we became the closest of friends. He was a precious part of me and now, i don't even know if i could ever find those missing pieces.

We used to talk, laugh and understand each other. We had petty quarrels but those were just for fun. It was in my elementary days and for me, those days with him felt endless.

He was really my true best friend until he confessed to me that he had feelings for me other than just being best friends.His confession was written in a notebook and he let me read it. I was stunned by this confession but a part of me says I'm happy.

I really only saw him as my close friend. It was awkward after his confession but he pursued me everyday. We still used to eat lunch together, talk to each other and used to send text messages on my phone just simply to say hi! and ask me concerned questions. I wasn't a text fanatic but I always glanced at my phone after school that lay beside my bed waiting for his message.

I don't know why. It was just what i felt. There was a lot of pressure on me at school as a constant honored student. But, i didn't feel bothered about it because he simply was always there beside me.

Sooner, i realized...

Whenever he was around, i don't feel alone...

Whenever he was around, i felt secure...

Whenever he was around, i could always have a smile on my face...

knowing he'll always be beside me, that'll he'll never change and will always be my friend.

If that's what they call love, I don't want to admit it.

On my 12th birthday, I arrived in school in the afternoon to take my final exams. His friend, JC was still in the room and he gave something to me. It was a plain short bond paper folded in two.

WHO WOULD BOTHER TO SEND ME A LETTER?

I curiously opened the letter and it was from him. He wished me a happy birthday and that he hopes I'll never change. He didn't really have a nice hand writing back then but those few words struck my heart. I was head over heels of joy.

On top of the letter, was a beautiful, yellow rose all radiant.

That I recalled, he once asked me what was my favorite flower and I said it was a yellow rose because I find it very soothing and attractive to the eyes compared to white and red roses.

From that moment, I wanted to say to him that I felt the same way.

I looked for him in the campus but he wasn't there. Maybe, he already went home. Until, I reached the gate and saw him there standing with his shoulder bag and with his usual, gentle face.

"Thank you," that was all I can say at that moment. Then, I walked away with his letter and yellow rose in my hands.

I glanced at his direction one more time and surprisingly , he was still there.

"Why aren't you going home?" I asked.

"I was waiting for your goodbye," he said.

That was my most memorable birthday. I once thought that having a memorable birthday would have a lot of cakes, a party and everyone else buying gifts for me. I thought it takes a bouquet of roses, a bunch of expensive gifts to make your birthday memorable. But, at that moment, I realized, all it takes is a simple greeting and this yellow rose from someone special to touch my heart.

When we were already in high school, I wished we would still be classmates. I looked over the class list but his name wasn't there. He was in another section. After that day, we haven't talked to another even if it's just simply saying that one word... HI...

None came out of my mouth whenever I came across him. We simply looked down on the ground as we passed each other on the lobby. Several weeks have passed and i couldn't handle it anymore so i confronted him. But, all he said was he just didn't want to. I was hurt but i chose to just accept the fact that this friendship would soon end.

A part of me says this awkwardness would just pass...

But a part of me says this is how we would end...

A part of me doesn't want to care,

But a part of me reserves a space for him inside my head...

A part of me cries every single day,

But a part of me wants to be really brave...

A part of me says there's still hope,

But a part of me says this is going to be goodbye...

Months passed with avoidance. Months passed without him. I used to know him but all of this just changed. It was already the last day of school but still, no words came out of our mouths.

We were sitting beside each other on our recognition day. I, the third honor walked on the stage smiling but when i took my seat, all i felt was sadness and longing because i know that even how close we are in sitting each other...

no matter how close our bodies are together at that moment...

I know that there's an invisible wall separating us completely and I'm afraid that this wall would never be crossed by one another...

Summer had passed and we are in our 2nd year. My heart almost skipped a beat as I watched the class list. Still, i was in a different class with him. In my first year, I felt bad for it but knowing now that we aren't classmates, I was in fact more thankful for it. I want to ask the Lord why my life is like this but maybe its just the mere fact that we really aren't meant to be...

Then, in our first day of class, someone told me he already has a girlfriend. I don't know why I wanted to cry inside when i heard of this news. His new girlfriend was sitting near me. Though I wanted to break down, I teased her about him even more. I became funnier everyday even though I was hurting. I don't want to show other people what I felt because maybe, they will think that I'll steal him from her because I wanted him desperately.

NO!!! I would do nothing like that. If i were to do the right thing, I would gladly surrender and make both of them happy...

I would even find a way to strengthen their relationship.

But, why can't I? why can't I? I know he has no feelings for me, no friendship, no love, or even just a feeling for me... Sometimes, I wanted him to hate me so at the very least, I'll have a petite space inside his mind...

I am just a shadow in his eyes because all he can see was her. They were classmates with the girl and started to have a relationship last summer.

All he says about me is that I'm smart and responsible. All he says is nothing but nod...

NO! I'm not flattered. I don't want those compliments. All I want is to bring back who he used to be, who he was when we were still friends...

Everyday, when everyone would soon go home, I'm just in a corner seeing him bringing an umbrella for her, carrying her bag and smiling at her. Maybe, he truly loves her. He has found the right girl while I, was just dwelling in the past, without knowing where to escape.

I got used with their sweetness and all of the people's teases while I had no one to talk to even to my closest friends. I just don't want them to see my true weakness...

In the middle of the school year, we had our very long conversation after one year of no communication. After one year of ignoring each other, we decided to go early to school on a saturday at 6 in the morning to discuss everything. But when I arrived, we just sat beside each other saying nothing. Honestly, I wanted to tell him everything but I ended up swallowing all my words and the speech I prepared.

I cried in one corner not facing at him while he felt sorry for all of it. He didn't know I was suffering from all this pain.

The only thing I remember now at that time was when he said, "You're not worth my tears..."

When he said those words, I decided to move on, bury our friendship and our past forever. It was hard at first but I was dignified to do this for myself.

And i did it. He has his own happiness. I have my life but i don't know if i ever had that kind of happiness you feel when you have finally found the right one. The happiness you feel whenever you look into his eyes and feel the love hidden down there inside his heart.

No, ever since I buried the past, I became numb, robotic in actions, always wearing my very unnatural smile in front of others.

I don't ever want to be hurt again...

That was it...

In our 3rd year, I looked at the list and sighed of relief. We still weren't classmates. Then I found out that he and her girlfriend broke up. Indeed, in my 2nd year, we were kind of friends with her girlfriend but she didn't know anything about our past. I never want her to know.

Both of them have been emotional. Then, my friends went over our house for a project and we were chatting with him, just chatting about our project until one of my friends interfered. They asked him of what he thinks of me and he still had the same answer. "Smart, does her homework etc..."

My friend bugged him of asking questions about me. My friend wanted him to tell anything about us but he didn't know whom he was talking to...

My friend just wanted to confront him about his big change of personality and at the same time, ask him about me.

He didn't really want to tell anything and they almost gave up.

I was in front of our computer, trying not to read his words because I was afraid to face the truth..

My friend almost gave up until he said...

"I'll tell you one thing.."

" Rinah's favorite flower is a yellow rose..."

That wasn't the answer I expected. I thought he would say the most harsh and most painful words about me to other people. Instead, he just said about the incident regarding the yellow rose which happened a long long time ago.

For almost 4 years of not talking to each other, with all the awkwardness and confrontation and all the drama and moving on with each one other since he has her girlfriend and I have my very hectic and strict life...

I didn't expect him to remember the thing he gave to me on my birthday. Actually, in my 2nd year, I totally forgot that we used to be the best of friends, that we were close, that on my 12th birthday, he was the first one to remember my birthday, wrote me a scribbled and hurried letter and was the one who gave me a yellow rose.

I kinda regretted that I tore his letter for me and he knew that I tore it into pieces. But, what can i do? I don't want to have any memories of him or anyone that would just hurt me. Most of all, I don't want to meddle in their relationship so I chose to be just silent and just forget about the whole damn thing...

There were times when i couldn't help but feel lonely when I see him pass by but our distance is now a REALITY...

At this time, we were just friends in the internet but everyday in school, we were just merely STRANGERS...

I'm LOST...

I don't know where's my escape...

He is until now my long lost friend of mine...

I know I can't turn back the time...

The yellow rose are now just memories... I know that..

Those petals may have wilted but I'll carry with me these memories 'til the end of time...

NO... my tears aren't worth for him. This can't be a sad ending but i must face it. I was too innocent to know that you wanted me to tell you that I felt the same way back when we were kids on our last day in elementary.

now, it's OVER... Sept. 25, 2008 I'd stop crying and leave everything behind...

Don't worry to those who are reading this now. He and I are back to being certified friends but not best friends anymore. However, he'll always be my first puppy love? with a bittersweet ending...

To those past readers of this true to life story, my sincere apologies for all my grammatical errors and confusing sentences. Actually, I wrote this when I was still 11 or 12 years old? So, I hope you understand that I wasn't very keen and skilled in English back then.

OBSCURE

I don't know what's this I'm feeling

like the wind, I could feel but couldn't see

Gentle as the breeze, this keeps me on wondering

it might sound silly but this is who i wanna be.

Like the extraordinary scent of rosy petals, we cherish,

the blurry mist of hope in nature,

or the memoir of one's stain that would never perish,

feels so real, feels so true yet obscure.

he pushed me out, felt so depleted, so desolated

my precious part was him, only him but its over

I'm falling apart, someone lift me up from what i pretend,

Don't trace torn memories for they aren't forever.

Wipe away these unreasonable tears,

embrace me to unfold my fears

kiss me til the morning sunrise

Hold my hand and lead me to your paradise.

when all was gone and felt so numb,

when all was over and no longer dumb,

when all was torn and broken,

you went on my way and got my heart stolen...

our eyes met and I'm on top of my dreams

he seemed nice but strange as it seems,

it all started with a pen

the key in secret hearts to be open.

having this friendly sensation

soon realized our mutual connection,

now, my heart has fallen

somehow afraid to be broken.

a boy named

is my inspiration,

i always forget to forget you

but please say, "I love you too?"

Just a piece of inspiration...

DON'T WAIT

Am I still stuck in the past?

Even I know your love for me would never last

Why do I have to suffer?

Even I pretend to be smooth and tender

If you were in my shoes

What would you truly choose?

But how could I not blame

This marked, undesirable pain

I may be happy on the outside

But I feel broken on the very inside

I used to be honest with love but now I need to pretend

To make up with this confession to finally end

But no matter what I do

I always forget to forget you

Destiny has given me a chance to love and be loved

Lastly are memories you've marked into my heart and soul…

Dedicated to You coming up