Name: I don't care to tell you.

Gender: Male

Age: 14

Likes: Naruto, Bleach, Ramen, any well-written naruto fanfic

A picture of how i imagine naruto after he is changed by Kyuubi, even clothing is how i imagined. owned by ahou, not me. http:///94/187194.jpg

one of my favorite naruto amv's, song is all to blame by sum41, take a look at the rest of Rubix89's work, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynmvGBvx-Mc

My own first naruto amv, even first amv in general. i know it sucks, but please watch it anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JXhdHiD1sc

My first story posted is "The Blood Lord" a naruto fic about naruto if he was changed by Kyuubi and lost his stupid dream of becoming hokage.

Second story posted is Dark and Light, Black and White, a warriors fic about two new mysterious kits named moonkit and sunkit.

This is a link to my forums, so far i only have one which is a blood lord forum. if you are a fan, visit it. http://www.fanfiction.ws/f/1245737/

Favorite Naruto Pairings:

NEW FAV PAIRING! I THINK I'M THE FIRST EVER SUPPORTER OF THIS PAIRING!

It shall be known as...Narushio! I MUST write the first ever Narushio fic! Rawr!

Other ones: Naru/any girl in Naruto's generation (and femkyuu). NOT YAOI!!!

I have absolutely nothing against homosexuals, but i hate to see those little fangirls writing that stuff...and seriously, there way too much of it on Fanfiction.net

Okay, here's a list of things and people I HATE!!!

-people who hate Naruto
-the guy who invented yaoi
-bastards who correct my grammar, even when they're dead wrong
-Bastards at my school who come up to me and act like they're gonna fight me, but run like little girls when I lift up my fist a few inches.
-Bastards in general
-people who talk out of their ass for hours about stuff that they don't know shit about, and then try to act like they've just proved a point
-the fact that the Naruto opening theme 'Harmonia' was never translated and used. HeHeHe...(for those of you who even know what I'm talking about, you seriously need a hobby or something, jeez.)
-adult swim for not putting naruto on their block so they wouldn't have to edit out the cursing and blood.
-fanfiction writers who write 1 to 2 chapters of a really good fanfic story but never update (and don't have the nerve to delete it)
-fanfiction writers who write a really bad story and decide to continue it, unbeknownst to them, our IQ is dropping by leaps and bounds as we read the horrible text on the computer screen.
-clowns
-mimes
-YAOI!
-bastards who write yaoi
-clowns who write yaoi
-mimes who write yaoi
-bastard clowns who write yaoi
-bastard mimes who write yaoi
-the fact that yaoi even exists
-the fact that clowns even exist
-the fact that mimes even exist
-guys in my school for being pervs (and not being very good at it either) I'm embarrassed to be in the same gender group with them
-Tards who, when they don't get something elongate their words like 'WUUUUUHHHHTT?'
-summer, for being so damn hot
-winter, for being so damn cold
-my computer for crashing all of the time
-people who lie, and do it rather poorly
-people who act nice to your face, but talk trash about you behind your back
-10 year olds who go on adult chatrooms just because they can (You know, thats how they get kidnapped by pervs)
-people who wear belts so that their pants will stay around their knees
-Orochimaru, for being such a fag
-NaruSasu Fanfic, because its some totally sick shit, not to mention queer
-KakaSaku Fanfic, because its perverted and messed up
-GaaraXHaku fanfic, because its queer and just plain stupid for so many reasons on so many levels (starting with the fact that Haku's dead)
-swiss cheese
-stupid people who think they're smart
-losers who walk around thinking that they look cool when in reality they look like total morons
-the people who came up with kidz bop and the fact they decided to make eight more
-rap
-people who hate rock, heavy metal, and death metal
-people who criticize the way anime is drawn, but probably can't draw a straight line themselves
-spiders
-American cheese
-hormones, because they interfere with my rational thought pattern
-adolescence, because it sucks
-homework
-teachers who think their the greatest thing since sliced bread. (Naruto is WAY better than sliced bread.)
-stupid people who make fun of smart people.
-People who pronounce 'anime' 'animee'
-people who talk over you if they don't like what they're hearing
-people who sing along to music but don't know the words
-hilary duff
-people who like hilary duff
-hilary duff being a singer
-that fact that hilary duff is alive
-reality shows
-George Bush
-the american government
-the current war we are fighting because of them
-the piano
-people who say the moon is made of cheese, and believe it too
-the fact that everything nowadays is made for PC
-mushrooms
-thousand island salad dressing
-salad
-Mayo
-onions
-coleslaw
-Aol, for saying they're fast, but really being slow(er) as (than) shit
-people who trace and call it their artwork
-Michel Jackson, for being such a perv, and having a fake nose
-girls who think they can sing but make other people's ears bleed
-ANNNDDD...finally...THIS LIST! for taking so damn long to write.

Quotes:

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Procrastinate NOW!

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

I hear voices and they don't like you

Smile -- it confuses the enemy

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree.

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh shit , I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole."

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He/she won't expect it back.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's

either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Ideas for Stories

Unnamed: What if naruto wasn't the only jinchuuriki who lived near Konoha? at a young age Naruto finds a girl living in the woods near Konoha. NaruXOC

Unnamed: At a young age, Naruto has a bloodline limit unlocked by Kyuubi. however, it's a pretty strange bloodline limit... and Naruto's the most talented user of it in centuries. pairings unknown

Unnamed: I don't know how i'd get this to work, because its been used a lot. Sakura gets some courage and fights against Orochimaru in the forest of death, and is easily (and brutally) defeated. To stop her suffering from chakra depletion, Naruto gives her a huge chakra infusion. however, his own chakra wasn't the only kind of chakra he used. NaruSaku.

Caring and Sharing: five years ago, the great kyuubi no kitsune attacked Konoha. the yondaime hokage intended to seal the nine-tailed fox in His son, Kazama Naruto. however, the hokage found that it was impossible to bind all nine tails into a single person. so he did the next best thing, and there were only two people born on that day. NaruSaku.

If i see ANYONE stealing these ideas (that especially includes Joseph D Hale, i still haven't forgotten about you) i will sic the fan people on them. i actually really hope to start all these ideas soon. it depends on how long i can stave off the plot bunnies. if you'd like to see one of these ideas sooner (or vice versa) PM or e-mail me.

"If You"s

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you've known your best friend since Kindeegawden, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this onto it to make it even longer!

If you are against fur coats, cloathing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals but don't use the meat, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ver copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and am proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some trix, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about during a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing lucky and leave the leperauchan alone, then copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like Warriors, copy and paste this onto your profile!

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate Ashfur with all your heart, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you would (but your not allowed to) live in a bookstore so that you would be the first person to get all the new warriors books, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: Leafpool's Loyalty, dannyphantomfangirl13, Grace of Masbolle, Littlewhisker, Firestorm of ThunderClan, blackcat11, Tearpelt-river, Feathertail1021, Kagekitsune49.

If you're easily confused or confuzzled, add this to your profile.

If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

CATS ROCK MY SOCKS! If u think cats r awesome, copy this to your profile, and add your name to this list: Brambleclaw's Babe, Amber Sea, Mistwing, Littlewhisker, BloodyOracle, Snowfirexoxo, FlameRisingSucks101, Swanfeather, Feathertail1021, Kagekitsune49.

If you LOVE cats more than dogs, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you wish you were a Clan cat, copy this to your profile, and add your name to the list: Troublestripe, Loyalflame, Hawkfire, Wildheart, Sakeraa, Sparrowflight, Warriorsfanatic17, Sapphirepaw, Shadeheart, Brightheart7, Shatterstream, Fallenheart, Rainstorm, Feathertail1021, Kagekitsune49.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Feathertail1021, Kagekitsune49.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Funny Stuff

75 Ways to eat and Order Pizza

1.Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

10. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

12. Stutter on the letter "p."

13. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

15. Change your accent every three seconds.

16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" See how they respond. .

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Imitate the order taker's voice.

23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

29. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

31. Ask to see a menu.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

35. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

36. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

37. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

38. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

39. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

40. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

41. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

42. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

43. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

44. Try to talk while drinking something.

45. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

46. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

47. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

48. Be vague in your order.

49. Use CB lingo where applicable.

50. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

51. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

52. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

53. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

56. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

58. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

59. Put them on hold.

60. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

61. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

64. When you've given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

65. Haggle.

66. Order a one-inch pizza.

67. Order term life insurance.

68. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

69. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

70. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

71. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

72. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

73. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

74. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

75. Order a steamed pizza.

How to be annoying

1)Reply to everything someone says with "thats what you think"

2)Make beeping noises when a large person backs up

3)Sing along at the opera

4)finish all your sentences with "accordance to prophesy"

5)Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more.

6)Never make eye contact

7)Meow occasionally

8)Walk around with a cooler that say "human head" on the side

9)Say, (Insert name here), what is your name?

10)Announce in a crowded place, in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

11)Staple papers in the middle of the page.

12)Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

13)Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

14)Steal a large quantity of traffic cones and re-route entire streets.

15)Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.

16)Ask people what gender they are.

14 Annoying Things to do in a Movie Theatre

1) Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

2) Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

3) Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

4) Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

5) Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

6) Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

7) Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

8) Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

9) Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

10) Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

11) Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

12) Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

13) Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

14) Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (and that would be how???...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???...)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

15 THINGS TO MAKE UR PARENTS THINK UR INSANE!!

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Run into walls.

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"

7. Wear a sticker that says, "Im a retard"

8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"

10. Do what they actually tell you.

11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.

12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people.

13. At everything they say yell, Liar.

14. Try to swim in the floor.

15. Tap on their door all night.

TOP TEN THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR YOUR DAD SAY

10. Well, how 'bout that?...I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude. ...I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend...you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

And the number one thing you'll never hear a Dad say...

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that --it's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it, but they don't mean it. :)

99 way to get kickd out of Walmart

1. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
2. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
3. Two words: "Marco Polo."
4. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
5. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
6. Stick a sign on the back of the employee saying "How may I NOT help you!"
7. go into walmart to the candy section and unwrap all of the chocolate bars saying "i've got to find that golden ticket!!!"
8. challenge other people to duels with sticks of wrapping paper
9. grab a random thing off a shelf and in every aisle advertise it to the people walking by. if they dont take it, get mad and throw the item at them, then run away
10. ~ Buy a jumprope and hold a big game of double dutch in the busiest part of the parking lot. ~
11. get a whole bunch of friends and have them put on prom dresses. then in the middle of the store have a HUGE fashion show. and annouce their names and what they're wearing loudly
12. ~ Lay on a beach towel in your swim suit and when people walk by yell "SECURITY!! They're blocking my sun!!" ~
13. get a bunch of stuff and when you go to pay, use chucky cheese tokens
14. put a little kid in a cart, then run and say, "robin, 2 the bat cave"
15. Pay in exact change
16. Go into a dressing room wait for a long time and then yell there's no toliet paper in here!!
17. stare at a action figure and when someone walks by, say "y wont u answer me??"
18. stare at someone closey, then say, "UR ONE OF THEMMMM" and run to the next isle
19. break all the fish tanks and yell, "be free"
20. go to the middle and yell, "k mart is cheaper"
21. place a dora doll in the middle of a isle, and when someone comes to get it, jump out and say, "swiper no swiping"
23. give the clerk a really hard time because his/her name tag isn't lined up with the stripes on his shirt.
24. Have your friends push you down the isles and make machine gun sounds at the passerby.
25. take a yellow ball, throw it and yell, "i choose u, pikachu"
26. Sit In The Middle Of The Store Covering Your Ears And Yell
"The Voices Are Back!!!!!!!!!!!"
27. throw skittles at people and say taste the rainbow??
28. test the fishing rods and c what u can "catch" from the other isles.
29. Stand On A Clothes Rack and Yell
"Oscer The Shark Slayer Is Back!"
30. put a heavy metal radio station on all of the display radios, then turn the radio off and turn the volume up to 10.
31. Walk Up to People And Hug Them And Say
"Grandma!I Thought You Were Dead!"
32. go to a ATM, and when u get the money out, shout "i won i won
33. . Fill a cart with random stuff and leave it in a random asile. Repeat as nessessary
34. go in the stuffed animal isle and when ppl walk by you in there, say "SHH! they're sleeping!!"
35. walk up to some one with a big stomach and ask when the baby due
36. when there r people walkiing in front of u, run at them and shout "red rover"
37. go to a self check out and set the language to spanish. then start scanning your items and yell " why won't this stupid thing work?!?!?"
38. BARBIE WARS!!!!!
39. Buy a box of tampons the night before and soak them in a bowl of water and ketchup, or some type of red koolaid...then go back and ask random people or the workers if this was the right absorbancy for you? Try to hand them the soaked tampons.
either that or just throw them at random people...then run very fast.
40. When at the check out, run up and yell "OMG! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?! I LOVE YOU!!!" then try to jump over the checkout counter and hug or kiss them.
41. Dress up in the worst clearance cloths you can find, strap bra's and other under gramits onto the outside of your "Already hidious outfit," and make sure you grab one of those cheesy hand bags to go with it! THEN!!! go and greet people throughout the store saying, "Thank you for shopping at Walmart!"
42. Go put on one of the costumes and hide in the costume rack!!!! Turn walmart into a haunted house; jump out at people when they look for costumes
43 .Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone."
44 .Make a trail of apple juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
45.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in House Wares,'...and see what happens.
46. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
47. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
48. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
49.(Girls) Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"
50. Play with the automatic doors.
51. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
52. Repeat above in the jewelry department.
53. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
54. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
55. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
56. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
57. Put M&M's on layaway.
58. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
59. Run around pretending to iceskate on the waxed floors.
60.Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
61. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
62. TP as much of the store as possible.
63. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
64. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
65.Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Take bets on the battle described above.
66. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
67.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
68. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
69. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
70. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
71. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
72. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.
73. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the store.
74. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
75. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
76. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
77. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
78. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!
80. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
81. Make secret agent gun fingers at the greeter.
82. Grab a cart, but make sound effects while you ride on the back like you're a NASCAR driver.
83. Drive remote control cars at unsuspecting customers.
84. Start juggling random fruity artifacts and smiling broadly at anyone who stares.
85. At the self-check out, when the cashiers ask why you're trying to scan your butt, tell them you swear that's where the barcode for your dog food ended up...
86. hijack a broom from the cleaning aisle and ride it around like a witch's broomstick to "transport yourself."
87. When no one is looking, stick feminine products boxes in single men's carts
88. Follow a sales clerk and keep saying to her, "ma'am, ma'am! i know what you did to muffin!( muffin, being your dog) Why did you kill her! WHY!!!!!!!!!!??????????????
89. In the make up department sob and cry as loud as you can until a sales clerk notices you. then you bend down and cry, WHY!!! MY LITTLE MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she killed her!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
90. Open up all kinds of make up containers, put on lots of make-up (to the extent that it looks like you are a clown) and run around the whole wal-mart saying SAVE THE LLAMAS!
91. Put Cat food in random peoples carts.
92. Page yourself.
93. Stuff a purse with random stuff, and wait for someone to buy it.
94. Take new DVDs, and put them in the meat department.
95. Run around walmart with a black hat and did the moon walk all around walmart!
96. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
97. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
98. turn on all the dancing elmos until they fall off the shelves
99.Randomly yell "Watch out for falling prices" and see how many people look around and/or up!

25 ways to bug people in an elevator

MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the buttons

SAY -DING at each floor.

STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

MEOW occasionally.

GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

SWAT at flies that don't exist.

PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

-- The English Language--

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine. English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese? Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse, 2 lice. One house, 2 hice? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? English is a silly language ... it doesn't know if it is coming or going!!

You know you live in 2006 when...

1) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave

2) you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years

3) the real reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name

4) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.

6) your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) you read this list, & keep nodding and smiling

8) as you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends

9) and...you were too busy to notice number 5.

10) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was no number 5

11) and now you're laughing at your stupidity

25 Fun Pool Activities

1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.

2) Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people kind of almost drown today.

3) Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.

4) Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.

5) Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.

6) Hit strangers with your flutter board.

7) Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.

8) Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ''Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good...''

9) Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.

10) Swim near someone and go ''Shoot! I knew I shouldn't have had so much lemonade before I came here.''

11) Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.

12) Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ''HA-HA, fooled you!''

13) Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board.

14) Laugh at fat people in swimsuits

15) Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool.

16) Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.

17) Try to negotiate the price of getting in.

18) Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.

19) When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.

20) Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say ''Wheee! I'm Batman!'' while running around.

21) Hit strangers with your wet towel.

22) Throw people's things into the pool.

23) Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale.

24) Play Marco-Polo by yourself.

25) Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.