[WORKS PROFILE RECEIVED AND ARCHIVED]

[NEW SIGNAL ACQUIRED. TRANSMITTING...]

...ight, everyone, we're on in thirty seconds. I expect your best, so if you know what's good for you, you won't disappoint me. We don't need a repeat of 2019's dumpster fire, do we?

Wait, what do you mean the camera's-... (SMACK!) Oh my fucking lord, I swear you idiots can't do anything right-... Actually, y'know what? Screw it, we've only had two tech mishaps so far. We can salvage this. Hit the green screen. (A-hem!)

Hello, everyone! With a new year comes new horizons, and I decided that this profile needed a fresh coat of paint after reading through what I've had on it for the last twelve months. And, well… it gets the job done, but we all know that there's always room to improve. So, here we are! Now what say we get down to business?

At the moment, I am currently 17 years old, male, white, and straight. Go ahead, feel free to whine about my abundance of privilege or whatever. It's not like I can actually hear you, anyway.

You done now? Great! Moving right along…

CURRENT WORKS:

-Soft Reset (RWBY)

The first story I ever published on this site. Like the refurbished summary states, it's basically my dumping ground for over-the-top ideas and self indulgence disguised as an inconsistently-toned facade of a RWBY Self-Insert. It's also a Gamer fic. Probably (read: desperately) in need of a rewrite, but eh, I'll get to that when I feel like it. Not meant to be taken seriously. Currently on hold.

-Mercenaries, Scrubs, and a Whole Lot of Level Grinding (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn)

My first foray into the world of Fire Emblem SIs. Also a Gamer fic, though the system is very minimalistic and mostly relegated to more of a background element when compared to Soft Reset. Came about because I found that there were shockingly few SIs into the continent of Tellius, and none of those were Gamers. So I decided that if someone needed to provide the area with trash to prove Sturgeon's Law, then it might as well be me. Also currently on hold.

-Gifting This Wonderful World with EVEN MORE EXPLOSIONS! (Konosuba)

Yet another SI. Exists because, like many others, I saw the potential of the one rule stating that you could choose any power or item when being reincarnated into the world of this series, and went "hey, what if I took what's widely considered to be the best pistol in Borderlands 2 and my favorite Action Skill from the same game, and gave them to a version of myself before sending him off?" It's also in a weird position where the gods in charge of reincarnation kinda know of the existence of the source material, but also not really, and the MC can use his knowledge of it to his full advantage, and the gods kinda know he's doing that, but not really, and… ech, it's a little hard to explain. (Basically, Eris knows that Konosuba as a series exists in the MC's world, but is also left sputtering at the fact that the MC knows the identity of her mortal alter-ego.) Also currently on hold.

-Capture Crashers (Epic Battle Fantasy 5)

What's this? A story by me that's not a Self-Insert and told in third-person? Heresy, I know. In any case, this is (or is planned to be) more of a series of mostly self-contained one-shots about the sorta-reformed Evil Players doing sorta-reformed Evil Player things, with some form of continuity between them. At least, once I finish up introducing and integrating the main cast into the group. Which… should be done by chapter 5? I think? I dunno. Can you tell that it's also on hold?

-Diversis Mundi Magia Actum (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

My current project, and very first SI gender-bender. Packed full of anxiety, stress, and everyone's favorite symptom of being meguca - SUFFERING! Except not really, because if any other meguca start suffering, it triggers an automatic game over. It's kinda like shooting for the best ending on a blind playthrough of a Roguelike game on the hardest difficulty, in the sense that literally everything could fall apart if you happen to make even a small, easily-missable mistake. Fun times, right?

CURRENT PERSONAL INTERESTS:

Fire Emblem - Obviously. When you've beaten 12 (technically 11.25, but shut up, Three Houses is long) of the 16 main-line games, not to mention the majority of the spin-offs and actively play the mobile game (boycott FEH Pass btw), you tend to get a few story ideas.

Team Fortress 2 - Over 1,200 recorded hours, most of them on Sniper and Scout? Yeah, I may have an addiction issue.

Smash Brothers - What even is a main, am I right? Mine might as well be Random!

Doom - Delays are temporary. But DOOM is ETERNAL.

FINAL FANTASY VII - I'm a step away from just putting (hyped remake noises) here. I just hope they keep Crazy Motorcycle Chase as true to the original as possible.

Call of Duty - MW2 was when the franchise peaked, change my mind.

Epic Battle Fantasy - Shoutout to my boy Matt Roszak for creating quite possibly the best Flash game series on the internet. Oh, and credit to Phyrnna for giving it a boppin' soundtrack. Go check it out if you have the time - the bonus content is worth the cash. (Not to mention that Adobe's shutting the software down soon, so be quick.)

Magia Record - This gem needs more love. Seriously, the story alone's worth putting up with the gacha elements, and that's discounting the gameplay. (I'd say it's FGO lite, but one, I've never played FGO, and two, it's really not, from what I've heard.) Give it a try if you've got the data and a couple minutes. We've got free ten-pulls every Saturday and Sunday thanks to the anime airing right now. Did I mention it has an anime adaption?

WHY I'M HERE:

The reason why I started this profile can be summed up with this line: "Okay, you know what? Fine! If you can't be bothered to run trash through the spell-checker, I'll post my own spell-checked trash!"

That's basically it. My feelings on my stories are kinda like Doom's writers on its story - "It's ridiculous, we know it's ridiculous, you know it's ridiculous, so why not run with it?" Except replace 'ridiculous' with 'trash.' Or 'nonsensical.' I bet you get the idea that I don’t have a very high opinion of my works by now, don’t you?

But I mean, hey, at least it’s not plagued with spelling or syntax errors every five fucking words. I swear to god, it’s like some people just refuse to listen to their English teachers. It’s even worse when you realize that some of the authors on here who display such egregious mistakes are actual adults. Sure, go ahead and post cringe, it’s not like anyone actually cares about how “there,” “their,” and “they’re” aren’t really interchangeable. I’m just saying, sometimes it pays to be a Grammar Nazi. Heil Wörterbuch!

(...what about dyslexia? That’s not an excuse, just get a beta or whatever. Same goes for if English isn’t your first language.)

Anyway, uh… I think that’s everything. (Is it? It is? Alright, great.) Go ahead and… do whatever, I dunno.

Aaaaand… cut! Okay, that was… actually not that bad. Not great, but it’s a god damn masterpiece compared to last year’s. Now, we- (WHUMP!) HAH! See, I knew you were about to drop the boom mic! How’s that for subverting expec-(TONGG)!

...turn the bloody camera off. Nobody else needs to see what’s about to happen.

[TRANSMISSION TERMINATED]

[SIGNAL LOST]