Warning: As on the first of February, 2015, I tell you that the below is really just for stalkers, bored fangirls and anyone who wants to read the ramblings of an introverted obsessive writertype fangirl. The only reason I don't delete the profile completely and start over is that I'm a bit shaky by way of proof of my continued existence in the world, so I'm keeping it as something to refer back to when I get lost. As for current information, I've been keeping the fangirl alive by constant tv and film exposure but fic hasn't resulted due to various emotional obliterations. Right now, all I've really got to contribute is finally discovering Battlestar Galactica.
I need Adama behind me, Apollo as CAG and Starbuck on my wing because I am heading from an all out raider dogfight to full engagement with cylon baseships. I'm in frackin' trouble. That's how I am.
/1/2/2015

Foreword - This profile is old. This account is pretty much dormant (compared to how dedicated I used to be), except for the odd review and maybe some fic when I'm feeling hyperactive. is not a site I like very much, due to the fucked up hits to reviews ratio and the HUGE number of crappy fics here (though I have come across a gem or two, so hope springs eternal!). If you're really interested in well organised and generally higher quality fic, go check out the Livejournal communities for your fandom or google for other archives. Just a hint.
But if your fandom has managed to avoid having the crap beaten out of it by 13 y.o. fangirls (literal and figurative) here at - lucky you!

Having said that, don't let it stop you sending me a message. I'm a friendly kind of cynic.

Hi. I'm Jane (on this website, anyway). I write a hell of a lot of femslash and the occasional het piece. Those ones tend to be a bit violent and strange so watch out. I'm a walking cliché. There are very few recent fics here but go have a crack at my older ones. They aren't the worst things in the world but they were written by a fandom struck 15 year old - you have been warned. To some people that IS the worst thing in the world (including me, actually, but at least mine are backed up by a smidge of literary awareness... I tell myself) But rereading them now, there are some ATROCIOUS mistakes that I need to fix but CBA. The more recent ones are much better, if only by comparison. First fic here... such garbage, really. There are a couple on here that I frequently feel the urge to delete (and they're the ones that get the most hits, life is unfair) but censoring your back catalogue is lame. I wish people would stop favouriting those ones, though. Favourite something reasonable, go on! You might like it. I love my little Spiders on Skin kiddies - thank you for being over double the number that fav'd Spice! You give me hope! (I did re-read that one recently... it's not actually that bad, just fluffy like a Pomeranian)

Most of my stuff is Law & Order: Trial By Jury fic but there have been more fandoms thrown in over the past few years. God, this profile is painfully boring (and a bit of a wank), isn't it? I apologise. Have a list of my semi-current fandoms and pairings. Asterisked ones are flavour of the month, year rly, double awesome bonus points for writing something in these (and letting me know about it). This is kind of a past pairing archive, since I'm not an active ficcing fangirl..

30 Rock - Liz/Gretchen, Liz/Jack (but shh, don't tell anyone - just for watching, not for writing)

The Addams Family (movies) - Gomez/Morticia (go cross Morticia with someone fun, go on - it's quite easy! I mean, I've done it. As long as they're pretty...)

Afterlife - Barb/Jude, Barb/Alison, Barb/Robert (IF well done...) Barb/Robert/Jude (oh, the angst) Barb/Robert/Alison (?) anything with Barb!

Bad Girls - Pat/Lou, Karen/Lou, Francis/Natalie, Francis/Lou, Karen/Helen, Karen/Nikki, Nikki/Helen (OBVIOUSLY but you know, it's a bit overdone)

The Bill - Sam/Jo, Sam/Phil, Jo/Grace, Sam/Grace, Jo/Nancy Randall (Mandana Jones, Too Hot To Handle arc), Jo/Naomi Banks, Juliet/Jo, Debbie/Juliet, Kate/Mickey, and really Kate Spears/Everyone (and maybe Sam/Banksy, cos he's pretty and taken) OH and Stevie/Smithy but that's really more for watching than writing (it's cute but not worth imagining)

Bloodrayne - Rayne/Katarin

Blood Ties - Vicki/Henry, Mike/Henry, Mike/Vicki/Henry, evil!Vicki/Henry

Blue Crush - Eden (crossovers, y/y?)

Bones - Cam/Booth, Cam/Brennan, Annie Oakley/Everyone

The Chronicles of Riddick - Eve/Riddick

Doctor Who - Anything hot and plausible! Well, reasonably plausible. Ten in my favourite Doctor. See if you can work Prof. River Song in. Alex Kingston is gorgeous on so many levels.

Firefly/Serenity - Zoe/Everyone, Nandi/Everyone, River... depending

Gossip Girl - Lily/Chuck (AND I MAKE NO APOLOGIES!)

Grey's Anatomy - Callie/Erica, Teddy/Hunt, Addison/Everyone (we're ignoring Private Practice because... oh god, no)

Hollyoaks: In The City - Stella/Everyone

House - Cuddy/13, House/Cuddy, Cuddy/Cameron (after a fashion... none of this wimpy!Cameron crap. How about MARRIED!Cameron, that'd be fun!)

L&O: SVU - Pretty much just for watching. I have become disillusioned with SVU fic. Oh but Casey/Liz... quite special. And maybe some A/O, considering the S10 casting developments. But ha, I take that back. Lame way to write her out, guys. But I guess it's better than another shooting.

The Long Kiss Goodnight - Charly Baltimore (crosssoversssss)

Lost - Ana-Lucia/Kate, Kate/Juliet, Ana-Lucia/Juliet

The L Word - Shane (in general - I like her paired up with people sekritly and angstily. And she'd be fun to cross), Shane/Helena, HELENA/MARYBETH!

The Matrix* - Neo/Trinity (quality sensitive pairing), Trinity/Pretty much anyone... and OH, Trinity/Persephone* (WHY DOES THIS BARELY EXIST? SURELY THE MOST OBVIOUS PAIRING OF PERFECTION AND GORGEOUSNESS!!!!!! I BEG YOU, WRITE THIS!)

Men in Trees - Marin/Jane, Theresa/Jane, Theresa/Marin, maybe even Theresa/Sarah (Theresa is awesome)

Monarch of the Glen - Archie/Stella, Stella/Lexie

NCIS - Ziva/Jenny, Ziva/Abby (if I'm honest, Ziva/Everyone but those two are my favourites edit: SCRATCH THAT, Abby is an emotionally stunted little meanie... Ziva/Gibbs!! re-edit: I was being mean about Abby. But she was being mean. I take it all back, she's a sweetheart if she likes you)

Nikki & Nora - Nikki/Nora

Skins - Effy (not sure about pairings, I don't see her with the new crew too much. Possibly crossover? But just Effy fic could be good, with the right author. Shed some light on the enigma)

Torchwood - Jack/Gwen

Wire in the Blood - Carol/Tony, Alex/Tony, Carol/Alex, Alex/Paula

The Worst Witch - HB/Drill* (such an awkward pairing - don't know whether it should be that or Constance/Imogen, which sounds way formal and also strange... I could be persuaded to pairing HB with others, if it's well written and in character... and most likely femslash)

The X-Files - Mulder/Scully, Scully/Doggett, Scully/Reyes, Scully/Skinner (look, M/S is OTP for the win but I love Scully, and Mulder has a tendency to irritate me with hang ups and general knobbishness so I pair her with others... as long as it's good. And okay, I really do love Mulder)

Bonus crossover pairings - L Word/The Bill - Helena/Jo, Worst Witch/HP - Constance/Bellatrix, Hollyoaks: ITC/The Bill - Stella/Jo, Afterlife/The Commander - Barb/Clare

I am a huge crossover whore. Especially with anything Michelle Rodriguez is in (I tend to find it hard to pair her with who she's actually... with) and also Charly Baltimore. She's great to cross - just send her to kill someone. Crossovers are the way to my heart, along with unwritten/little known pairings.

You know what would be awesome? Trinity/HB crossover, Matrix/Worst Witch. Lots of black slinky clothes and crazy Matrix fighting and magic. Please someone write this! I mean, I'm down with anything Trinity but femslash can be so much fun.

Edit: Aha! We now have Crossovers as its own... well, its whole own thing! Awesome, right? So the following isn't actually necessary, I'm just including it because it's nostalgic for the old days of and I like to give crossovers attention. Particularly of the femslash variety, if you're an LJ person :)

Important - Crossover Listings

Love Your Way - L&O: SVU x L&O: Trial By Jury
Alex Cabot/Tracey Kibre - AU - On-Going

Meaning : Mine and Yours - L&O: SVU x L&O: Trial By Jury
Tracey Kibre/Elliot Stabler - Completed

Spiders on Skin (Blood, Sugar, Coal) - The Addams Family x NCIS
Morticia Addams/Abby Sciuto - Pre-canon - Completed (?)

Fit Up - The Long Kiss Goodnight x Bad Girls
Charly Baltimore/Karen Betts - post movie/mid-series - Completed (?)

Gold, Fire, Ice - Blood Ties x The X-Files
Vicki Nelson/Dana Scully - post-Wrapped/during XFS3, abouts - On-Going

Email me any questions/requests/queries etc here