AN: This is just a small study from Takaba's P.O.V and one of my many takes on Takaba's relationships. It's a little angsty, so if you're here for fluff, you'll hate this and you'll hate me.
Summary: Takaba reflects on his twisted relationship with Asami.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Finder Series.
Takaba didn't want this. It wasn't right. It was unhealthy.
This relationship_this drug he craved, this man he worshiped was killing him, and Takaba did nothing to stop it. He was a tool_a mere toy from the very beginning. And he knew it, and so did Asami.
The man released himself in Takaba, and Takaba allowed this all for the sake of pleasure. He inwardly chuckled as he lay beside Asami, his drug, his owner...he was never free, he'd never be free of this man.
He'd tried_oh, he'd tried, but like a stray kitten, he kept on coming back. And why, he had no idea. This wasn't what he wanted though, it was never what he wanted. Takaba wanted to be free, wanted to be happy. With Asami...he wasn't happy, with Asami he was competing amongst others to truly win the man's heart. Whether Asami knew how Takaba felt, whether Asami knew that Takaba felt suffocated by this luxurious lifestyle, Asami didn't show. He didn't care.
They picked at Takaba, they sought out his flaws, they sought out everything he wasn't.
Powerful...no.
Money…no.
Looks...well, yes, but they never helped him. His looks only got him into shitty situations that Asami had to bail him out of. He was an embarrassment in the underworld, he was nothing more than a pleasure toy and everyone knew it. They all believed he spread his legs for any rich man whom was begging to get some, and when he didn't do so willingly, they got what they wanted forcefully.
And what did they leave in their wake? A broken Takaba, a tainted Takaba...and Asami would save him, and he'd have sex with Asami, and he'd be caged again, and he'd be stolen again, and the cycle would continue and continue until Christ himself came to save Takaba from this exhausting lifestyle.
And for that, Takaba loathed Asami with every fiber in his being, he wanted the man dead, he wanted the man out of his hair. What began as rape blossomed into...into this twisted relationship, and night after night, Takaba was taken against his will, painfully and cruelly.
Had it not been for his own hormones, the entire ordeal would have been traumatic.
Would have been? It still was, and what sickened Takaba more than anything was the fact that he'd grown used to it, that he'd grown accustomed to this...to this monstrosity!
This wasn't who he was, this would never be who he was.
But Asami had taken his rights away from him, had caged him up against his will. He'd turned him against his friends, turned him against his family, and more importantly, he'd turned Takaba against himself.
Takaba wanted help, he needed help. But Asami denied him of that too.
Takaba didn't want this, he never wanted this. It wasn't right, and it wasn't healthy.
But he could do nothing to escape this life. So, perhaps death was his only option?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
No one can tell me that their relationship isn't unhealthy, because honestly, it is. It started from rape, and escalated to this...with that being said, I do believe that Asami loves Takaba 100%, he just doesn't have a good way of showing it. I think they have communication issues, they don't go out together, they hardly speak to each other, must I go on! So, they need some real counseling, but Takaba needs therapy. Also, if you're going to leave a stupid review, please log in...and don't just leave "lame". Schools starting tomorrow, so my updates will be slow and lagging, i'm trying to get everything in today, including a new story, a new chapter of "Must be the Nargles," and "Here's to you Aki", so don't think I abandoned them. Also, check out Yamiga's stories, she's my sister.
Anyway, hope you liked this, Happy New Year, and God bless!