AN: This is my first attempt at writing Merlin fanfiction and is done for the Mergana Prompt Party over on Tumblr this week (you can search for the merganapromptparty tag). The prompt was "magic" so this is my interpretation. Hope you enjoy!
The first time he sees her he feels it: a kindred spirit, although she is miles beyond his reach. She's the one who turned away from the execution, the one who defended every innocent person Uther executed, the one who never turned away from helping her friends.
When she starts having the nightmares, learns that she has magic, begins to feel isolated, that's when he wants to tell her. They're the same. He admires her and hopes she can help Arthur become the king he will be. She will either be his ally or his doom.
He ignores Kilgharrah's warning that she'll only betray them, refusing to believe the sweet girl he knows could ever betray her friends.
Then she does just that and his heart breaks—shatters into a million pieces and he doubts he'll ever be whole again.
She remembers the scrawny boy, working for Gaius who saved Arthur at the feast. She doesn't know why he caught her eye or why she finds herself drawn to him. It turns out that beneath that gawky exterior is a strong, kind man who wants nothing more than to protect the people he loves. They share that trait.
He seems to know something when the nightmares begin. He's always helped her before and now things seem different between them. If only she didn't have to hide from Uther. All she wants is to tell him, to talk to him about it.
When he poisons her she doesn't know what to do. Once she's recovered, once she's had time to sort through her thoughts, she realizes: she's fallen for him. She, the Lady Morgana, Ward of the King, has fallen or a simple serving boy. His explanation for the poison makes sense, and his apology is heartfelt, but she's made up her mind already.
Betraying Arthur, Gwen, and Gaius is hard—it gets easier after she finds out the truth of her parentage. But seeing his face as he realizes what she's done, well that nearly kills her. She runs with Morgause and vows vengeance because it's easier than admitting she's made a mistake.
They meet again, after it's all over. Arthur survived, barely and only because she showed up at the last minute to save him. Merlin doesn't trust her. No one does. But she expected that, now she must regain the trust she once had. Arthur lets her back into Camelot but she's constantly watched, never left alone. One act of repentance is not enough to forgive the sins of her past.
Months later, Gwen is pregnant. She and Arthur are over the moon and she comes to Morgana, seeking a friendly face to share her joy. Morgana smiles, the same smile she wore before the nightmares began, a smile of sisterly affection. Soon after, the constant surveillance lifts slightly. She and Gwen spend more time together, rekindling the easy friendship they once had. It will never be as it was before, but they can create a new bond, a stronger bond.
Gwen names her godmother to the child when it's born, a little boy. Arthur agrees easily enough, he sees she's reformed and he's always had a soft spot for her. Merlin is the godfather.
Months pass and everyone has forgiven, if not forgotten, her crimes. Everyone except Merlin.
She watches him sneak out of the Camelot one night, and decides to follow. Hiding in the trees she watches him summon and speak to the Great Dragon, Aithusa along with it. Morgana very nearly reveals herself, just to see her old friend, but she holds back, doubting a warm reception.
The dragons leave and Merlin sits down in the field.
She watches for a while longer before gathering her courage and stepping out from the trees.
Merlin doesn't look up as she approaches and sits beside him.
The silence drags on for what seems an eternity to Morgana. She can't take it anymore and begins speaking, "Merlin, I'm sorry. For everything."
He finally turns to look at her, his dark blue eyes burning into her soul. She stops speaking and gazes at him, hoping he'll understand.
Merlin turns back to the sky and starts speaking, "I trusted you Morgana. I hoped you would help me make Arthur king. Instead, you tried to kill all of us. I thought we were your friends!"
Her head drops as the anger in his voice increases. Morgana opens her mouth to speak but he shakes his head at her.
"Don't," his voice is harsh. "You don't get to talk right now. Arthur, Gwen, Gaius, they might have all forgiven you, but I can't. I want to trust you again Morgana, but I can't. Do you know what it was like? Watching as you tried to kill everyone I care about, watching as you destroy everything I thought you cared about?"
Tears pooled in her eyes as she continued to stare at the ground. "I'm betting it felt a bit like it did for me," she began. "As if I could never be happy, never have a family again. Everything made me angry and everything hurt. Worst of all was knowing I'd hurt you, betrayed you Merlin…"
"I'm still struggling with it," she finished, voice barely more than a whisper. "Merlin… Please…"
"Please what?" he nearly screams, jumping to his feet. "Why do you get to rip my heart out then demand something from me? I loved you, and you turned around and took everything away!"
Morgana's mouth drops open in shock. He loved her? She'd had no idea; she'd thought she was alone in having feelings.
He groans and starts to walk away.
Morgan stands and mutters, "Gehæftan." Her eyes flash yellow for a moment.
Merlin stumbles as the grass beneath his feet makes a grab at his ankles, only enough to catch his attention. He spins, eyes blazing yellow to look at Morgana.
"You don't get to walk away," she remarks, trying to remain calm. "Not after that little speech. I know I have no one to blame but myself, but I was in pain too. And do you know why, Merlin? It was because I was fighting my brother, my best friend, and you—the man I love."
His eyes slowly fade to blue as he stares at her in shock. Wait, she loves him?
Merlin takes three powerful strides to stand in front of Morgana, then before his mind can catch up he grabs her arms and drags her against him, crashing his lips onto hers.
She tenses when he grabs her, then they're kissing and she can't help but kiss him back despite the fact that they were just fighting and finally talking. She can't keep her thoughts straight because it's late and she's used magic for the first time in over a year and Merlin—Merlin—is kissing her like his life depends on it so she surrenders herself to the feeling.
Merlin can't seem to wrap his brain around it because he's got Morgana in his arms and they're kissing and it's everything he always hoped for but never believed he'd get. The sensation is incredible as she returns his kiss with as much fervor as he feels.
They finally break apart, both gasping for breath. They stare into each other's eyes, unable to break away. It's better than anything they've experienced before. This, right here, right now, is pure magic.
AN: Hope you enjoyed! Please leave me a review, I like hearing from readers :)