Of course, I really had to get rid of the best parts of this, so I can still keep this rated K+. And of course, I need to make sure all you little kids out there know that drugs are bad, should never be taken, and eating spicy food the day before you get a hangover is a really bad idea.

Not based on a real experience. The party you are about to read about is completely fictitious, and I hope it stays that way.

A lot of swears are replaced with "fluffy" words, which will not cause offense, but I want you older readers to do the work yourself and replace the good words with bad ones, for your own entertainment. Thank you.

NO DICTIONARIES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY! (You'll understand that sentence if you read on...)

A Spicy Story: EXTRA MODE!

Meta Knight, who was fo' sure the most swagnificent bro Cappy Town had ever seen, unceremoniously dropped his two homies in front of their rockin' pad.

"Yo! Swag Knight and Big Daddy Knight! We gots to get you some food 'n at."

Kirby gave a little cheer, oblivious to whatever Meta Knight was saying. "SWAG DIGGITY!" came his trademark cry.

Meta Knight walked into their room too quickly for anyone to peer in after him. He put on his swag gear, ready to show those bridge-and-tunnel dirtballs what it meant to have style.

His light tone only fooled Kirby, who didn't know jack about swag. Swag and Big Daddy knew perfectly well that Meta Knight, their bro, had spent all day working on whatever fashion abomination was waiting behind those doors.

"Well... we gotta roll with that pimp BAMF. Ain't no DJ Meta Knight gonna upshow me. YOLO!" And with that, Swag Knight opened the door.

It was worse than they had imagined. The whole room was blacked out, all the drapes drawn, and they didn't even match the carpet. But, despite DJ Meta Knight's odd habits, a butt-load of Cappies were chilling in their hip pad. There was a disco ball, strobe lights, a refreshment table, and a rockin' radio set up. Two Cappies, Doron the criminal and somebody else were huffing some kind of drug in the corner.

Meta Knight was in the most swagnificent getup he could find. He had replaced his mask with a silver sequined one. It just looked so BAMF. On his head, he wore a pair of those glasses with lines in them, whatever they're called, and he was throwing stuff to the crowd of mad-chill radical Cappies who were jammin' to the beat.

"Wassup homies? I'm DJ Groovy Noodle! Y'all ready for some cool jamz? YOLO!"

The knaves' eyes shifted a quarter of an inch to the table of snacks. One bowl was filled with prescription drugs, and Big Daddy knight wanted them. He had an addiction more infectious than poison ivy.

A banging sound could be heard coming from, surprisingly, Swag Knight's room. A few groans also escaped from the ajar door, but nobody noticed over the music.

Ajar, are you kidding me? What an anti-swag word. We gotta rename that crap now. It is now, YOLO. The YOLO door was slightly open. Yeah, that works.

True to his new name, "DJ Groovy Noodle" put on some truly BAMF music. Both of the knights were impressed. Kirby shrugged past them, making a beeline for the snacks and eating all of the regular food. He ignored the drugs. Remember kids, drugs are bad for you, and Kirby is smart so he doesn't use them.

But when Swag Knight and Big Daddy tried to get in to join the rad scene, they found that their way was blocked by none other than Knuckle Joe.

"Hey, you got any weed? I can't let you in unless you got weed."

Swag checked her pockets. She was broke, and she had no weed.

"I'm broke, son-of-a... oh wait! You wanna go at it with me? I guess that could work, right?"

"Aw hell yisss..." Joe said, stripping his pants and grabbing Swag's arm with a meaty hand. The door shut in Big Daddy's face.

"Oh hell no! You ain't touching my gurrrrrrl!" Blade said, whaling against the wooden door with some surprising skill. He whipped off his armor, exposing his gloriously toned abs, and he immediately began banging the door harder.

Swag and Knuckle Joe were about to engage in their own "banging."

Big Daddy had no choice other than to bang harder, but despite his swag-worthy efforts, he had no success.

Swag Knight suddenly leapt away from Joe. "SEX IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!" and she raced to join the party, glad that she was still a virgin. Joe cried in the corner, realizing that he had no game.

Kirby gave his trademark cry, in an attempt to lighten the mood. "SWAG DIGGITY!"

Meta Knight, or as he seemed to prefer now, DJ Groovy Noodle, turned on some dupstep. Biblio and Curio, who had been dancing with minimal effort before, suddenly began shouting, "wubwubwubwubwubwubwubwub."

All of the Cappies were chanting along with them, "wubwubwub" was all that could be heard.

The noise started to attract King Dedede, or as he was more often called, King DropTheBass.

Escargoon, the local old geezer, heard as well. He was probably the world's least swaggy person. He immediately grabbed his cane, preparing to beat the ever-loving stuff out of some youngsters.

And speaking of Youngsters, a boy walked in through the drawbridge just then. He usually goes by the name of Joey.

"Hey, Rattata? I hear something... wanna go investigate?"

His Rattata gave a squeak of approval.

Back inside the party, a musical crime was about to take place. "This is DJ Groovy Noodle! We gonna switch beats!"

Unfortunately, he put on Call me Maybe, and the mood of the party was instantly destroyed.

Big Daddy immediately ran from the area, overhearing "teh madness," accidentally colliding with King DropTheBass.

"What's going on in this pimp-joint? Anybody smokin' weed yet?"

"I got the hellz outta there, bro. Meta Knight just lost meg swag points. He turned off the dupstep and he put on... bad pop songs."

"WHAT? I ain't gonna let that bro steal the mad swag! This's some delirious biznasty. We gotta save this party if we want the sweet l00t."

Five seconds elapsed. Big Daddy was just now noticing the amount of Ryan Seacrest cologne that King DropTheBass was wearing.

"You trying to get the ladies, triple D?"

"I already got all the ladies, man."

"Swaaaaaag," Big Daddy said, clapping his hands reaaaaal slow, thinking about Swag Knight.

DropTheBass immediately ran to the wooden door separating them from the party, breaking it with a swing of his mad cray mallet.

"Hey! DJ Grody Noodle! Step aside for the reaaaaaaal swag masta."

Meta Knight ignored King DropTheBass, as he was too busy badly lip-syncing.

"I threw a wish in the well,

Don't ask me I'll never tell,

something like that, insert legal crap here-"

"And now you're in my way!" the king shouted, raising his hammer triumphantly.

DropTheBass put on a pair of lined swag-glasses, ready to unleash some musical fury. The Cappies cheered, seeing their totally BAMF king preparing to do some justice. He hip-checked Meta Knight aside, prepared to start some rapping. He used his hammer to turn the scratch disks and make some tubular beats.

Meta Knight stood up but the other Cappies grabbed him, flinging him out the window, and he fell into the courtyard. He landed on a certain Youngster, Joey.

"Rattata! A wild Pokemon appeared! Use your hyper beam attack!"

Rattata misinterpreted the command, choosing a hyper fang instead. Joey swore a torrent of curses before picking up the Rattata and throwing it five hundred miles away. He pulled another poke ball from his belt, and launched it, revealing another uber Rattata.

Back at the party, DropTheBass was, true to his name, busy dropping some swag. His mad beats were psychin' everybody out.

"Groovy man, grooooooovyyy..." said Curio, reminiscing about his days as a hippie.

Gus was literally hanging from the ceiling, too buzzed to stay still but too doped out to move. So he just swung from the sconce in the wall. But what kind of a boring word is sconce, anyway? They needed to rename that stuff, and fast.

Kirby gave his trademark cry, "SWAG DIGGITY!"

Gus got an idea. "We gonna call this stuff Swag Diggity from now on, 'K?"

Everyone cheered, now that the word sconce had just been blasted from the face of the Earth.

Somewhere, far out in space, in an alternate dimension, a dictionary cried. It decided to write a Fanfiction about its two favorite deceased words, Sconce and Ajar. But he got no reviews, because Dictionaries can't type. He was sad.

Escargoon suddenly opened the door. "Y'all are doped up lazy jerks and I called the cops! Now shaddap! Ya ain't got swag enough to evade the law!"

Nobody paid attention, except King DropTheBass.

"Shaddap yourself! Hey let's take 'dis outside. First one to kill the ugly old dawg wins some weed!"

Escargoon ran for his life, taking refuge in the throne room as he various Cappies in varying states of drunkeness ran after him, then into the courtyard. King DropTheBass brought out a boombox and somebody had taken the drugs with them too, so it was all good. But drugs are bad and you should never use them, unless a qualified doctor tells you so, and even then you should only use the prescribed amount. YOLO, so do it right and with real swag. Drugs are not real swag, by the way.

Escargoon was breathing very heavily when he suddenly got an idea. He ran to the throne. He sat in it, pressing the button, and the monster transporter as well as a monitor appeared to the left of him.

"Customer Service, at yo' service. Welcome to the N.M.E. Party Train... or somethin'... Oh, hey old man, you got any weed?"

Escargoon's eyes twitched. "Everyone in the whole frikkin place is havin' a party and I want in but I ain't got no drugs so I need some swag. Can ya send over some swag?"

"Hey, this ain't no frikkin' givin' tree!"

"DEAL WIT IT."

"Seriously man, green ain't your color. I'll send ya a new tux-shell. We got you, we got you." As if to prove it, Customer Service fainted.

Escargoon got a better look behind the man now that his view was unobstructed.

Unobstructed? How many words are we going to have to kill in this chapter? We're renaming that stuff... uh... renaming it... well, sconce is swag diggity, ajar is yolo... I guess unobstructed can be w00t. It works.

Anyway, Customer Service and a crap ton of monsters were dancing around like there was no tomorrow, and Miley Cyrus was swinging around on a huge wrecking ball. Customer Service hastily pressed the end call button, but he missed, instead turning on a laser light show. The lights were literally burning the dance floor. Apparently this was funny, because Customer Service laughed.

Now that I think about it, Customer Service is a boring name... Customer Swagice? Nah, let's stick with this gravy train.

"LADIES! WHO WANTS TO PRESS MY AWESOME BUTTON?" he shouted, pointing to the area smack between his feet.

He stripped thankfully facing backwards, and Escargoon ended the transmission himself. He shuddered. There was something vaguely ominous about that party. It was just... so wrong... but so alive. He'd never experienced anything quite so swaggy, especially not from afar.

Afar gets a free pass this time because we already fixed the word ajar. We can't get that stuff mixed up. Somewhere, I'm sure a dictionary is cheering, singing the praises of indiverse words. Hypocrite.

Escargoon turned the transmission on again. Customer Service, thankfully, was not in front of the monitor. Rather, he had joined Miley Cyrus on the wrecking ball, clothed again.

"I CAAAAAAME IN LIKE A WREEEEEECCCKKIN' BAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL..." they shouted.

Then, suddenly, the music changed in the backround. Some sort of... HELLACIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL music was coming through the speaker. Was it... could it be... YES!

It was GANGNAM STYLE!

Escargoon suddenly began twerking. He smiled as his luscious rump executed the difficult maneuver. If you didn't know, twerking can be a good aerobic workout. Not that it went with the song at all, but you have to give the snail props, because he has no swag.

The assorted monsters groaned, however. They were sick of the stupid song and it had stopped trending about a year ago. Apparently, DJ Nightmare hadn't received that memo. His horn shaped headphones were turned up to max volume as the emperor of darkness enjoyed his own brand of jamz. Escargoon joined from afar and continued twerking; so hellaciously that Miley Cyrus came up to the monitor camera to watch.

The wrecking ball fell down, smashing into a couple of monsters but nobody important. The laser lightshow stopped, because all of the power was used up on the speaker system.

The monsters pulled out some weed and started smoking. Wolfwrath was just getting high seeing the fires, let alone smoking it, and he was having a legit swag fest. He was almost able to forget that Gangnam style was blasting.

"If I can still hear dat crap," said Customer Service, "then I ain't smoked enough."

Youngster Joey wasn't 100% sure what to do, but he'd rather be a swag master than a no-swag, bridge-and-tunnel fake hipster. so, he joined the swag train, sending out his five other Rattatas to do some cool and cray stuff. He had the four of them use Hyper Beams at the sky, making a tubular light show, and he had his top percentage Rattata bring out the ultimate w00t. Top Percent Rattata was busy busting a move. And he was totally kickin' butt with it.

Howver, Cheif Bookem chose exactly that moment to appear. Only Big Daddy knight was sober enough to notice.

"AW HELL NAW THE COPPAHS AIN'T TAKIN THIS THAAAAAANNGGGG..." What, I never said he was completely sober.

However, he caught people's attention, and everyone ran as far as they could. They outnumbered the Chief, but nobody was in their right mind anyway, so running just appeared to be the smartest option. Everyone ran as far as they could, except for Youngster Joey's top percentage Rattata.

"Use your FLAMETHROWER!" shouted Joey.

That particular rodent pulled said flamethrower out of the bushes and he began torching the cop. There was no time for lighter, less flashy artillery, this was a gosh-darn war.

Meta Knight recovered from his fall and he ran too, accidentally into the castle kitchen. Waddle Dee's, stoned with cooking wine, littered the floor. somehow a tray of Mexican food was laying on the counter, enough for three. Swag Knight and Big Daddy Knight happened to enter the same room just then.

"AW yisss..." he said, locking the door. "EAT DAT SPICYYYYY!" he said. Suddenly, the three of them began digging into the Mexican food.

There was... aw, you know by now. Chimichangas, fajitas... burritos, some co-co-cola... maybe a lil bit of go-go juice, come on, it's not that hard. Y'all better redneckonize. And by redneckonize, I mean, stop using drugs. Drugs are bad and you should avoid them.

And so, all the food was finished. Cheif Bookem left the castle with third degree burns and the party resumed, carrying on until night.

King DropTheBass had run into the dungeon, unfortunately, and he had locked himself in.

"Hell naw... I'm missin' all the swag..."

He began yelling for someone to get him outta there, not realizing that he had a hammer. He was not in his right mind either, the unfortunate after-effects of the party's goers secondhand drugs.

The swag level was down to zero.

Meta Knight was just sort of chilling, rubbing his stomach as the party went on. Big Daddy and Swag had gotten into a game of spin the bottle with Joey, Buttercup, Knuckle Joe, Knuckle Joe's butt, Top Percentage Rattata and six sheep. There was some intense jamz going on, because someone had found a set of speakers and a platform that could serve as a stage. Cappies were dancing so hard on that stuff that there was a veritable earthquake. Some of the weaker party goers were getting bad headaches and the crowd thinned slightly as everyone resorted to minimum swag hangover-esque board games. Apples to Apples was a favorite, and so was Sorry, but nothing compared to the intense battle of wits that was called Kirby Monopoly.

Oh, mah, GAWD that stuff was intense. Kirby had rejoined the party and was on one side, while the doped up Mayor Len and Gengu teamed up for a tag match.

They were so drunk, they were losing EVEN AGAINST KIRBY.

So, even though there wasn't as much swag or sweet l00t as there was earlier, the party was still going strong.

Gus had long given up on swinging on the the "swag-diggity" and he was busy dancing on the stage with some of the local ladies. Samo and Mabel were still upstairs in Swag Knight's room, oblivious to the scene around them as they let out their... uh, psychedelic side.

Honey and Spikehead were entering the party scene, seeing all the guys and gals just sort of dealing with the drugs coursing through their systems. The swag was at -9000.

So they did the most natural thing; they got up on stage, and started reenacting that one 80's movie... you know, the one where there's kung fu and shmexiness and meg YOLO. Yeah, that's it!

"HOLA MIS AMIGOS!" shouted Honey.

"I'M THE BACKPACK, B &#%!" shouted Spikehead.

People turned to watch the glory of Dora the Explorer. I really had you goin' with that 80's thaaaaanng...

"BOOTS WE NEED TO KICK THIS ! %^ INTO OVERDRIVE!" She went and hugged the boy with the ponytail. He blushed.

"MARRY ME!"

"Where is everyone?" Tiff said. I lied before when I said Escargoon was the world's least swaggy person. At least he tries, even though he fails.

Tiff just sort of sits around reading. Seriously, who just sits on their laptop and reads Fanfiction- I mean, who just sits under a tree and reads about marine biology? Bo-o-o-oring.

Seriously she has no swag. There is no YOLO, sweet l00t, delirious biznasty, or even one iota of swagnificence in that chick.

I have a feeling she would like to be that crying dictionary in another dimension, if she had the choice.

"The whole town is deserted... I guess the King and Escargoon probably did something. Maybe I should check the castle...?"

But she shuddered. That place almost perpetually smelled like drugs. She had, albeit misguided, faith in her Cappy community that they were smart and didn't take drugs.

She wondered where her family was. She looked up at the stars and sighed.

"HAAAAAAAAYYYY I've got snax!" shouted Kawasaki, finally making it up the hill and over to the castle. He was lugging a huge cart of swag behind him; so much swag it almost hurt to type it all out.

There was shrimp, sirloin, chicken nuggets, frikkin soup with baked potaters in it, a buncha fish, a load of mozzarella sticks, pizzas, cheese, bacon, raw icing, cookie dough, salad for the vegans because even herbivores can have swag, and to top it off, rice ballz.

That stuff was practically ROYAL. IT WAS THAT RICH.

So they all started to eat the swag. Except, of course, for the aformentioned royalty of the party, and his knights.

Aforementioned?! AFOREMENTIONED!? That word is a crime against humanity. FRIKKIN HUMANITY. IT MUST BE REPLACED WITH BACON.

SUCK IT, INTER-DIMENSIONAL DICTIONARY!

So yeah, Meta Knight hurt. Like everywhere. He didn't know that spicy food was so apocalyptic for his stomach. He was perched over the toilet; it was all coming back to haunt him, and he was not lieking it any more than he lieked Mudkips.

He didn't even wanna know what was happening to poor Swag Knight in the ladies' room. She had had the worst of "dat spicyy" and it was not gonna be sitting pretty in her stomach. She would probably need serious medical attention, actually, considering how she had kind of... eaten a bottle of cooking wine just to get some more alcohol. I tell ya, this whole addiction thaaanng is bad... Don't do drugs kids.

"HAY CUSTOMER SURVIZZ U GOTS MAH SHELL YIT?" Escargoon said, notoriously reverting to text grammar.

"FTW MAN I TOLD YA WEEEE STONED UP IN DIS JOINT!"

But the snail wasn't having it. "Y'all bettah send dat stuff ovah hither right now!"

Hither... it's... IT'S... WHY DID THE MIDDLE AGES HAVE TO GIVE BIRTH TO THAT ANTI-SWAG BEHEMOTH?! And why is Escargoon using that... that thing... now of all times?

"I ain't sending you S ^%!" said Miley Cyrus. Up at Nightmare's headquarters, she was sick of partying, and she wanted to get back to being Hannah Montana. She was so sick of partying that she had reverted to just trying to use the transporter to Dreamland, and she was pissed that nobody was telling her how to get through.

That was probably a good thing. ONE twerking snail in Dreamland was more than enough.

"HAY GURRRRRRRLLL u gotz any weeeeeeed?" asked Customer Service. Earlier she had liked partying with the guy but his fake swag was getting on her nerves.

"GTFO I don't have any weed bro! JUS' GO PARTY WITH DAT GUY!"

"...There's a party in my bed, and you're invited..." came the quiet, previously unnoticed voice of Yamikage. He was fingering a kunai behind his back, laced with special poison.

"Oh, I can't do this anymore! I've gotta figure out what's going on in the castle! I can't handle being alone like this!" Tiff shouted. She began marching from the edge of Cappy Town back home to see what was happening. She knew that Yabui and Cheif Bookem were here but nobody else was in the village, not even Biblio or Kawasaki. She was extremely worried but hey, that's why she's not smooth and swaggy.

Chick needs to get laid. Maybe that'd loosen her feathers up.

Girls? I'm talking about birds! Like hens and roosters? Really? What did you think I was talking about?

No, I wasn't talking about the ducks. Get real.

So King DropTheBass was kind of feeling like dirt. He was stuck in the dungeons and everyone was busy partying. He had only one option left.

He sat down on the cold stone and he drew a star in the dirt, placing candles at each end. He knew that he was about to unleash something much more deadly than swag.

He was almost ready to begin the sacred chant.

"3...2...1..." he started.

He farted so badly that he was propelled upwards, through the door, and back into the castle. The equidistant flames from the candles had accelerated his pace even further and he was able to kick down a few bricks as he landed.

Wait... YOU SAID WHAT NOW?! YOU THOUGHT HE WAS SUMMONING THE DEVIL?! Whoa... that's not swaggy, guys, we don't talk about religion here. It's, liek, against Arceus.

"So Tiff got up to the castle, yeah, and she saw the party, and she was all, 'Be respurnserbel' and we was all, 'NAH' and she was all 'DRUGZ R BAD' and we was all 'SO WUT' so she was all 'TUBULAR' oh wait, no... She was all 'DON'T USE DRUGZ KIDZ' and then it was good because I had Rattata use the flamethrowerz and is that a new hat?"

Joe slapped the youngster in the face. "What you talkin' about?"

"Fight Club."

"AW c'mon man you know we ain't supposed to talk about dat!"

And the party went on... So the dictionary from another dimension kind of had all his hopes smashed... and it just occurred to me how this chapter goes completely against all of my real life principals except for the fact that drugs are bad, so I felt like saying it because speaking your mind is totally swag. Seriously I am never doing this kind of story again.

Day came. A rooster crowed... somewhere. Unfortunately, right at that very same moment, something really lacking in the swag department happened.

Swag Knight ran to the bathroom, upchucking everything from last night. She had a real nasty hangover. And for you kids who don't know, hangovers are bad headaches you get from partying too hard. So make sure you go to bed early tonight and get a good night's sleep, so you won't get a hangover.

What? Did you just say something about alcohol causing a hangover? That's totally wrong. You should never have had alcohol in the first place. It's a drug, and drugs are bad for you.

Big Daddy was getting wasted too, in the men's room, with the rest of the party goers. And for those of you who don't know... he was just "wasting" his very good college education, because he was smart and stayed in school and got a college education, like all smart kids and even most dumb kids should. So when you grow up make sure you get a college education and don't waste it by doing drugs. Because drugs do not equal swag.

They all learned a few very valuable lessons that day.

1 Call me maybe is a bad excuse for a pop song.

2 Twerking with Nightmare over the internet is a good aerobic workout, but it pisses of Miley Cyrus (who I hope never reads this)

3 Drugs are bad and you should not try them ever.

4 Hangovers are bad, so go to bed early.

5 Spicy food should not be mixed with drugs. Ever.

The end! NOW GO TO SLEEP.

Stay swagnificent.