Chapter Four: Talk of Children on the Hill (part 2)

Since Krystin left the room to retrieve the ultrasound machine, Steve sat dumbfound with his shield before him, as though he were guarding himself from the tiny being with me. He was comatose. I sighed.

"Hey...you all right?"

"Steve?"

"Steven?!"

His eyes finally did jerk my way after an extremely hard gulp of reality. "Natasha…is this really...happening?"

"Yes." I turned away from him, drawing the white sheets up to my neck.

"And you knew—all along?"

I looked over my right shoulder. "I—I did."

"How long?"

"If I've been counting right, I'm close to three months…" He mouthed the last part of the sentence and his eyes lit up; three months ago, his birthday, fourth of July weekend. He lowered the shield and stood up slowly, walking over to the tiny window with his hand covering his mouth.

"I was going to tell you... I just wasn't sure how."

"And you still went on missions this whole time?"

"Yes, but..."

"By yourself?"

His tan leather jacket stretched across his tensed back. "What were you thinking, Natasha? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I told you, I was going to tell you but I—just couldn't."

"Couldn't or didn't want to?" Steve finally turned around pointing his irish nose at me accusingly. I wasn't hurt by his words; he had every right to hold that notion against my character. I am a spy after all: knowledge is leverage in my world—it's strength, power, truth, and lies. But I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I was afraid of hurting him by throwing this curve ball into his life after everything that's happened to him—to us—already.

The white sheet fell into my laps as I sat up. "I am sorry Steve. And even though my actions completely betray my words I—"

"You still came with us to Latveria! What if—if you lost—"

Not a word I was saying was getting through; he was too caught up thinking about what could have been at stake on that failed mission. "God, will you please drop that?! It was a really bad decision on my part!"

Steve mashed and licked his lips, his neck muscles twitching as he ground his teeth. Hands folded, he sealed his lips with his index fingers and held his chin up by his thumbs. He wouldn't say anything else but he didn't need too; I already knew the damage I did.

I slung my legs over the left edge of the bed and slowly felt for the frosted metal floor beneath my feet. In an effort to display my well being, I withstood the urge to double over in pain and stood before him. Steve drew me into his arms and I embraced him fully, listening to his pounding, worried heart ease in its rhythm. "Please forgive me? I never meant for things to go down like this nor to cause you all this distress. And I definitely didn't want you to find out like this... "

I felt his lips brush the top of my hair. "Just never do this sort of thing again."

"I promise." We broke apart, managing to keep this moment to ourselves, before Krystin reappeared with the rolling machinery.

"Agent Romanoff, I don't think you should be standing so soon." she smiled cautiously.

"I'm fine, I was just stretching my legs." I shrugged, returning to bed. "Laying down for too long is not good, you know?"

"Well you're going to have to lay down again to see on your little one. Are you ready?"

I nodded and looked over to Steve, who finally had a tiny glow of pride and excitement grace his face. With her green gloves on, Krystin uncapped the white bottle of conductive gel then dimmed the lights. "Just lift the dress up enough so I can cover most of you lower abdomen with this stuff."

As I did, I noticed Steve politely look away as he walked closer to the machine. I did my best to withhold a chuckle. He knew what my bare body looked like, held it even, and yet he still averted his eyes out of decency. He really was from another time.

Now, flat on my back, I could on feel the chilled gel being slathered all over my lower half with the transducer sliding side to side. It was about five minutes before Krystin said anything. She turned tilted the screen down for me to see. "l found h—wait, do you want to know the sex?"

"Can you really do that?" Steve's eyes glimmered in amusement.

"Of course Captain Rogers. And even at this stage, you can hear the heartbeat too."

Steve and I exchanged glances. Though he seemed curious, there was something else in his face that spoke otherwise. I think that was the old fashioned part of him coming through again, wanting to go through the curiosity of guessing with me and our friends. And I agreed with that notion as it appealed to my own sense of secrecy. "Let's pass on i.d.'ing the baby. I think it will be fun watching everyone play fortune teller."

Krystin sucked her teeth playfully. "Well, would you like to hear the heartbeat at least?"

"As if you had to ask." I gave her a thumbs up.

All other noise in the room—my deep breaths and Steve's bewilder gasps—were drowned out by the deep booming drum of the baby's heart. As I listened to the soothing, warped beating, I realized I never wanted it to stop. And that terrified me, because there were people out there that would end it the first chance they got.

Maybe this is the first pain of motherhood? To face the fact that a part of you, so frail and vulnerable, would be walking around trusting everyone and everything like the notion of harm doesn't exist?

God, how could I ever enjoy having a cooing liability? One that hollers for people like Loki or Doom to come and take it?

My eyes began to well up so I closed them, smiling to keep face with Steve and Krystin. That heart beat was no longer a comforting white noise but rather the sound of impending danger knocking.

Sorry about the late update guys. I was hoping to have this out Friday but work and my brother's birthday pushed this back. But that's ok, it gave me time to add on. I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks for all of your continued support, please R&R :]