Oh shit, I suck ass.

In all honesty, I try my best to make the characters stay IN character and not go all over the place . Super short and sucky chapter .

Stan walked home from school that day instead of taking the bus home. He just needed to clear his thoughts. Sure, he had heard of gay people before and ripped on them too. He just wondered if now that he personally knew people who may be gay did that mean he couldn't rip on the homosexuals. He even had a gay dog, and possibly a gay uncle.

Stan walked into his front door and watched as his father, Randy, sat on the couch watching television "Dad? Is Uncle Jimbo gay?'

"Hell if I know." Randy popped open a beer bottle and sipped it.

Stan sat next to his dad and tilted his head, "There's these kids at my school and they were holding hands. Are they gay? I mean, I've only seen Sparky...get ontop of other male dogs...and yeah..the kids at school weren't doing that. They were just holding hands. But, Uncle Jimbo and Ned don't hold hands..but they sleep in the same bed." The boy in the poof ball hat stared at Randy's beer bottle and sighed.

As Randy was about to answer, HIS father rolled in "You talking about that fru fru brother of your's? I just don't know what I did to make him gay... at least he's got more of a brain than you and your wife put together. I mean, I even gave him porno magazines with my own seed on them and he's still living with that one-armed jutebox."

"Dad!" Randy squinted, "That's no way to talk around Stan!"

Grandpa Marvin sighed and shook his head as he scooted away in his wheelchair, "I still don't know how the hell my step-son got the heeby jeeby gayness..Maybe his real dad stuck things up his ass."

"Eww, Dad!" Randy groaned, focusing his attention on his son,"Well, Stan... I think this is something you should talk to your mother about. She's at work still." Randy gently tugged at his collar, not knowing how to answer his son.

Stan nodded once, got up and began walking to Tom's Rhinoplasty. He passed the theater, the school and the park. Stan watched the kids as he passed the park, Clyde Donovan and Token Black were playing in the sandbox laughing until one of the sixth graders pulled up and threw sand on the pair. Turning around so he wouldn't get hurt by one of the sixth graders, Stan heard Clyde crying in the distance but Stan knew Token would coo him back to laughing. As Stan kept walking, he wondered if Clyde and Token had ever held hands, and were they gay too? Stan shook his head and kept walking until he got to Tom's Rhinoplasty and strolled up to the counter where his mother, Sharon, was.

Sharon smiled, "What a surprise seeing you here, Stanley. Did your father burn down the house with his damn cooking?" her expression changed as she thought about that.

"No...Mom..is Uncle Jimbo gay?" Stan looked innocently up at his mom.

"Well, Stan, between you and me, I think so. I mean I've never seen a straight man sleep in the same bed with their friend in little cherry red boxers, but that's just my opinion. Why?'

Stan sighed, "There's these two boys at my school in my grade who held hands today at recess. And..then my other friends were talking about dressing up as girls... I was just wondering, like...how does that happen?"

"Uhm, well, Stanley, it just does. O-Oh my god, YOU don't think YOU'RE gay, do you, Stan?" Sharon's eyes widened.

"Hell no, Mom. I like Wendy." And with that, Stan walked out of the nose job center.

"Moooooooooooooooooom!" Eric Cartman whined as he sat on his couch in the living room, watching Terrance and Philip and eating bacon dipped in whipped cream.

Ms. Cartman poked her head through the door way, "Yes, sweetums?"

"How do gay people have sex?" Cartman pushed the bacon into his mouth and nommed.

Liane walked to her son and smiled, "Well, there's a lot of ways gay people can make love. My favorite position to watch is the-"

"MOM!" Eric interrupted, "I just want to know how the hell they do it! Do they..just..I don't know..Are they really butt-rammers?"

"Well, the man puts his who-dilly into another man's booty-coo instead of a woman's chacha...then sometimes they put their firemen together and lick the hoses before they get squirted in the eye." Liane Cartman nodded, smiling widely.

"Oh...CAN I HAVE MORE DAMN WHIPPED CREAM?!"

Ms. Cartman rose from the couch and smiled, "Coming, pumpkin."

"Sweet."

Kyle ran his hands over his hat and sighed, staring down at his dinner plate.

Sheila Brofloski turned her focus to her son, "Kyle, bubbe, you've hardly touched your dinner. Is there something the matter?"

"It's just..at school..my classmates held hands...but they're boys ..does that mean they'll grow up to be like Big Gay Al?" Kyle tilted his head, curious. "Craig and Tweek were holding hands..."

"Craig Tucker? I always knew he was a bad influence on you, bubbe..and Tweek Tweak the Tweak's son? That Tweek sure is messed up in the head, I wish the Tweaks, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak didn't feed their son so much of their coffee. Wait?! They're allowing sexual touching in school?! I must call Principal Victoria, The Tuckers and the Tweaks!" Sheila stood up and rushed to the phone.

"Oh, boy." Gerald Brofloski sighed. "Kyle, I just want you to know this, it doesn't make you gay if you jerk off in a hot tub while another guy watches."

Ike smiled sweetly "Bullshittta!"

"O...kay.." Kyle forked at his meatloaf, knowing asking his mother would open the doors to hell.