Lucifer's POV.

Chiho came over the next day to cook them all breakfast. And since Akai didn't know much about human foods, show her too.

"So," Chiho said, turning back to the pot, "you put the noodles in after the water boils."

"Oh….." she said, grimacing. "So that's why it did that before."

Flashback 12 mins ago…

"Water! How do you catch water on fire!?"

"Fine! Make your own damn food!"

"But…" Lucifer started the pouty lip, until Akai hit him with a cooking spoon.

Present

She could hear Lucifer mumble something from across the room. Turning her head over her shoulder, she called out in a semi-sweet voice.

"What was that dear? I couldn't hear you?~"

Lucifer knew that voice. It was the voice that women got when they either wanted something, were angry, or were daring you to get the fuck up and go say it to her fucking face. He was going to go with the latter on this one…

"Nothing!" I said.

"That's what I thought…." She replied, turning back to the stove and Chiho.

"I still can't believe that she is alive!" said Alsiel. He had finally come to terms with her somehow continued existence, and was able to sit up properly and not faint. It was annoying though, how he kept saying stupid ass shit like that.

"Neither can I, but she is, and we can drop. The. Subject." I said, head in my hand sitting at the table with the other two males in this little house. Maou just looked at me with a goofy grin. I hate when he gets those faces. It means he is about to say something dumb or crazy or…well…dumb? I was not wrong here.

"You know~ she sure is pretty in those jeans.~"

That's it.

I tackled Maou to the floor, and wrestled him. We were both tumbling across the room in a purple and black heap, shouting obscenities and whatnot. He was cheating too! I rolled over to my little corner of awesomeness, and grabbed a sugia bucket, and started to beat him over the head with it.

Akai's pov-

Chi-chan looked at me, and then back to the boys.

"Were they always like this?" she asked.

"Naw," I said "they were usually a lot worse. But then Als-"

"Lucifer~! Stop this instant! How dare you attack the great dark lord! Stop!" Alsiel ran over and pulled the struggling purple-haired 'teen' off of Maou.

"Then he would interfere." I finished.

"Damnit! Let me go! I'll KILL HIM!" Howled Lucifer. Maou just giggled.

"Both of you, stop acting like children!"Scolded Alsiel.

"But he started it!" They both screamed in unison, pointing at each other.

"I don't care who started it, I'm Ending It!*

After the little wrestling incident, the rest of the meal went in relative peace. Chiho taught me how to use chopsticks, and how to eat Japanese style-food.

"This stuff is pretty good!" I said, helping myself to another spring roll.

"You really like it?" Said Lucifer.

"Of course." I replied. "It doesn't taste anything like the stuff back home. Not that there was always that much to eat anyways." I said. I remembered sitting in the general's tent with the other high ranking officers, eating whatever scraps that were procured or salvaged from the cities that we destroyed. However, most of the places that we looted had long since been emptied of all valuable supplies. We spent many nights accompanied only by the sounds of our hungry stomachs.

"What kind of things did you eat back home Akai?" said Chiho.

"Trust me," said Maou, "you don't wanna know." Alsiel nodded furiously and looked down at his bowl of rice.

"Oh, but I do!" she piped up. "I bet you had all sorts of yummy things over there didn't you?! Right?!"

"During the war we mainly ate whatever we could find. The hunters brought back most of our daily rations with them when they returned. And that just mostly consisted of lizards." Lucifer grumbled.

"L-ll-lizards?!" she said.

"Oh yeah!" I said, shoving some more rice into my mouth. "What you do first is chop off the head. Then you wanna pull off the legs. Make sure you do it over a pan though; you don't want all of the good juices to go to waste! Then you sauté them in the pan with some herbs, and roast the tails until their nice and crispy. You wanna boil the heads though. That makes the brains keep their flavor!"

Alsiel slowly pushed his bowl away from him. "If there was one thing that I didn't want to remember from Enta Isla, it was the food. THANK YOU Akai for that more than informative description."

"You're welcome!" I said cheerily, just knowing that it would piss him off. He just glowered at me.

"I was being sarcastic!"

"Oh calm down Alsiel! Don't get your panties in a knot!" I replied, causing him to blush and jump up from his seat.

"How dare you show me such blatant disrespect Akai! I demand that you appologi-!"

"Alsiel. I order you to sit down and…" Maou whispered to me, "What was it?"

"Panties." I said, with a mouth full of food.

"Right! Sit down and don't eat your panties!"

)0)0)0)0)0

So several facepalms and arguments later, Alsiel decided that he needed to go and get more food from the...What did he call it? Grocery store? Oh well, Lucifer explained to me that it was like the market. Chiho tagged along, but Maou-sama had to go to work, so it was just me, Lucifer, Alsiel and Chiho.

As we walked in, we noticed that the place was EXTREMELY crowded. Apparently a holiday of some kind is coming up.

"What is going on?" I asked my pink-haired companion.

"Oh!" said Chiho, "it's Christmas in a few days! So everybody is stocking up on food and getting last-minute Christmas gifts!"

At my confused look, Lucifer interjected, "it's like our celebration of the winter solstice. Except that everybody wastes money on buying crapy gifts for each other."

"Urushihara-san!" Chiho hit him upside the head with her pink purse. "Don't be such a Scrooge!"

"Huh?" I said, getting even more confused.

"Don't worry Akai-chan, I'll explain it all later!" She said in a cheery voice.

As we walked through the market, Alsiel accumulated a pile of delicious foods into our basket, but Chiho made him put most of them back, arguing, "But they expire in 3 days! You can't possibly eat all of that by then!" followed by "expiration dates are for the weak!" *

Although I had no idea what they were talking about, I felt comfortable standing next to my favorite general, wait….where did he go?!

I started to look around frantically, when I saw his purple mop of hair emerge from the masses.

"Where did you go sir?!" I asked, pissed that I was letting myself slip so horribly…

"Bathroom?" he said. He looked suspicious though, but seeing that Alsiel and Chiho were heading for the checkout line, I decided not to push it.

We both walked to meet them hand in hand.

Authoresses note

IM SORRY IM SORRY! Dodges thrown items.

Yes, I said it would be out last night, but I got home at like…11:00pm and crashed. Plz don't killz me!

Anyway, for the first *, I actually yelled this at a pair of kids I was watching once in the grocery section of a super target. I was babysitting them with a friend who had to go to the bathroom, so it was just me with this pair of 9 year old twins, fighting over a package of fruit gushers. Which they broke by the way, and I had to buy.

Second*, my grandmother and mother have argued this to each other for 50 some years. And still to this day.

Thank you everyone for actually reading my story and all of the kind reviews!

Next up, the Christmas/holiday special!

Love, the Capt.