A/N: Hello, Lovelies! I am back after such awful writer's block! Hopefully, there will be more chapters coming out of Fate and HB (my other stories) soon! For now, please enjoy this one-shot!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.
Anywho...
Everyone in the Fairy Tail guild was special and meant something to Lucy. Many of the members could easily vie for the title of Lucy's "best friend." Levi and Lucy connected on a bookworm level. Erza and Lucy connected on a (strangely) girlie level. Mira and Lucy connected like sisters mostly, as Mira did with everyone. Lucy connected well with a lot of the girls in many different ways, even Juvia, but Cana was the absolutely weirdest friendship of them all. Cana knew stuff. Simple idea really, but Lucy sometimes forgot how Cana's magic allowed her to see into the future and whatnot. Cana always knew stuff, and Lucy had the sneaking suspicion that perhaps that was why she may drink so much, but that was getting off subject and into an entirely different story.
It had been a month or so since the Grand Magic Games and the Dragons fiasco went down. Everybody in the guild had been changed because of it, hell most mages had been actually. Lucy could easily point out the reactions of her guild members and how they'd changed due to the events: Erza was hopelessly lovesick for Jellal who'd gone A.W.O.L. again, Juvia and Gray had reached a new level in their relationship in where Gray did not push her away as much, and Levy and Gajeel might very well be attached by the hip already—hell really they ought to just announce their relationship and get it over with! Lucy couldn't help but feel a bit lonesome in it all. Sure she knew that eventually her bone-headed friends would come to make great couples but the timing just seemed crumby to her.
"I've been watching you this entire time ya know?" Hummed a thoroughly inebriated Cana, Lucy merely raised a brow in her direction and waited as the drunk stumbled over to sit by her usual seat at the bar. "You have been noticing it too, eh?" Cana slugged back a barrel and belched, "E'erybody is all 'in love,'" She signaled with her fingers, "and the whole atmosphere around here is changing." Lucy frowned and turned to face Cana, ignoring the guild and finally paying attention to what Cana was yapping about. Cana's eyes turned sharp momentarily, "It makes ya feel a little lonely right? Like everybody is growing up and moving forward with their lives and here is lil ole Lucy all alone." Lucy's heart hammered, but the atmosphere was shattered with the brunettes' drunken cackle. A big jug of mead was slammed down in front of her within seconds. "Have a drink, Lucy."
Lucy turned to the jug and grasped its glass topper, deep in thought. Cana was so strange, one moment seeming very wise and helpful, the next being a drunkard who shoves her bad habit on other people. Lucy swallowed and images flashed of the previous war, behind her eyes. Perhaps, Cana was wise on this one thing, just this once. Lucy swiftly unstopped the jug, lifted it to her mouth and chugged as Cana and a nearby crowd began to cheer her on.
XXX
"You know what, Cana? You know exactly how to feel better about things!" Lucy declared as the two mages sloshed another shot of some unnamed alcohol down their throats.
"That's a girl, Lucy! No more of this wallowing around the guild because flame-brain doesn't have the sack to admit to you his feelings!"
Lucy stared wide-eyed at her a moment before cracking up and falling onto the floor, Cana soon laughing and following her down. Responsible guild members soon rushed to their aide and tried to right them but they kicked and shoved them all away, content at being on the floor. Their barely clothed bodies lying spread eagle on the floor, contented beer-blushes covering their skins.
"Seriously, Lucy, when are you two going to wake up? All the others are moving forward with their lives." Cana dead-eyed her while taking on a morose attitude, Lucy shrugged, the alcohol allowing her to speak and feel freely about her blatant love for the fire dragon-slayer.
"I don't know, Cana. Maybe Natsu is just never going to grow up? Maybe in order to get more out of my life I'm just gonna have to move on like the others?"
There was silence between the two girls as time ticked away and their bodies began to sober up some. Lucy couldn't even work up the energy to get upset about the heart-wrenching topic of her love affair or lack thereof. Then Cana finally replied.
"No. That will never happen." She said without doubt.
"What?" Lucy asked, seriously confused after the hour or so pause in conversation, she'd even dosed off once or twice maybe.
"Natsu, is aware of his feelings. Something is holding him back, but he certainly knows by now, how he cares for you. The war should have shown him that. He hasn't forgotten the future he is planning to prevent, and I believe that is his sole reason for staying back at the moment."
Lucy was amused, then thoughtful, then annoyed. The alcohol, still having a heavy effect on her behavior, urged her to get up and stand. Hands to hips, she impatiently tapped her foot, biting her lip, looking around the hall to try and find a head of pink. Looking down at Cana after no luck, she pouted.
"Well, if that's the case, I'm going to smack him." Matter-of-factly she strode out the front doors and headed straight to where he'd most likely be: her apartment. However, as she got in she was disappointed to see an empty home. In fact after thinking a moment about it all, she realized he'd very rarely been in her home since before the war. This upset her greatly, she was beginning to sober-up, had an entirely new point of view about her predicament with Natsu and she didn't know where he was. To be honest she hadn't known much about the whereabouts of her beloved mage since they got back home from the capital.
Deciding to be the reckless one, for once in their relationship, she headed for the forest outside Magnolia. Dulled senses be damned.
XXX
"Natsu, I miss Lushi…" Happy whined as the blue cat and the dragon-slayer lay in their hammock. Natsu twitched and rolled over grumpily.
"I know, Happy. I do too, but what else can we do? We have to protect the future… for Lucy." He murmured quietly. There was silence before the cat got up and went to the couch; he and Natsu had many an argument about how to effectively protect the future. The two did not see eye to eye. Happy believed Natsu should stay by Lucy's side and Natsu believed that by being too close to her he was only setting her up for heartache and danger. Happy was completely right in thinking he was an idiot of course.
Happy had let it go for the while, deeming it as shock from the traumatic events such as seeing future Lucy and Rogue and how Lucy….died. However, it had been a little over a month and Natsu had not budged on his behavior, merely interacting with Lucy when he must, never more.
"Natsu, you do realize why you are protecting her, right?" Happy asked seriously.
"Yes. I do." Natsu answered much later, almost startling Happy from a nice dose.
"Then do you also realize that this 'plan to protect' of yours is also letting go of her, and any future you could have had with her?" Happy was very annoyed with the thick skull of his adoptive father at the moment, and could not help but scoff when he saw Natsu get up and walk outside all pissed off. As if the fire mage had any real reason to be so upset about his own damn choices. Happy decided to go to sleep and didn't think twice about it.
XXX
Natsu's hot breath puffed in the unseasonably cold air, it was late August now. Natsu couldn't believe how the time flew since the war. It worried and calmed him simultaneously. He knew more was to come and that the fight for humanity and freewill was not over-possibly would never be over- but he was calmed by how quiet it had been as of late. Though he enjoyed a certain amount of trouble in his life to spice it up, he'd be lying if he said the last chaotic tragedy hadn't messed him up. Natsu just wanted some peace and quiet, and as he watched his guild-mates pair up and move on with their lives, that desire burned brighter within him. But, he had made a promise to Lucy, future or not and couldn't break that promise. So, even if snide comments, from Happy of all people, had to be received in order to protect her… so be it. He couldn't let his selfish needs outweigh what was better for her.
The young man gripped the bark of the tree he had been leaning on and sunk down into it, using it as a back support. Tears welled up in his eyes and to his horror a few got loose.
Natsu sat sobbing under that tree for Mavis knows how long, until he heard her scream.
"Kyaaaaaaaa!" That screech was so undeniably Lucy, Natsu launched onto his feet straight away and ran towards her voice. Not so many leagues through the forest, he found her in the hands of a damn Vulcan, a pretty big one too.
"You've got to be kidding me, Lucy," he slammed his fist into the side of the monkey's head, "how could you let a measly monkey get you?" He chuckled as the creature now knocked-out on the forest floor turned into a naked man, they knew nothing about. Lucy looked up at Natsu, again she was inappropriately spread eagle on the ground, and a complete mess. However, all she could do was glare, after all he had already seen most of her underwear anyway.
"I'm drunk, all alone, and because of that I forgot my keys, you do the math!" Lucy stood and crossed her arms, shaking due to her lack of proper clothing and her sobering body. Natsu looked her up and down and frowned.
"You look terrible, Luce. You need to go to bed."
"Don't you 'luce' me, you bastard." She huffed and went to leave, having decided it pointless to try and figure out if what Cana said was true. However, Natsu could not just take the casual insult and move on.
"Hey, now! What is your problem? You don't just call people nasty names and runoff, especially not when they just saved your ass!" Natsu was irritated to say the least.
"Oh no, that's right how silly of me! I should lull them into a false sense of love and friendship and then completely ignore them altogether, right?" She yelled.
Natsu looked as though he had been slapped and gulped.
"You really are drunk aren't you?" He whispered, hurt.
"No, I feel like I've just sobered up! Cana was a genius getting my depressed-ass drunk! Maybe she is terribly wrong about you being a jerk to me to protect me, but she is totally right about the alcohol. I should've gotten into this long ago!" Lucy rambled, flailing her arms in anger. Natsu's eyes hardened.
"I am not being a jerk—"
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Dammit, Lucy, I'm not trying to be a jerk or hurt you in any way!"
"Well, what you want and what you're doing are two different things, Natsu!" She exploded, "Maybe you can protect my future by neglecting me and giving me up, but you certainly aren't doing what future me asked of you, so don't you dare tell yourself you are!" Lucy crowed.
"What the hell, Lucy?" Natsu asked quietly, truly hurt and taking a step towards her, that she quickly denied and stepped back from.
"You think that the promise you made was to protect me and my future, but that's not what I wanted, Natsu, I wanted you to protect our ability to have a future!" Natsu snorted and shook his head in indifference.
"Lucy, it's the same difference—"
"No! No it is not!" She threw up her hands, "What is the point in surviving if I'm not spending time with my nakama?" Lucy met his gaze, "What's the point in surviving if I don't have Natsu? The other Lucy lost her Natsu too, but he died protecting her, you…" She sobbed, "You have chosen to leave me!" Lucy bolted, and Natsu stared.
Never had he looked at their scenario like that at all. After a moment of shock and pain and remorse, he chased after her.
"Lucy!" He yelled after her, tracing her haphazard movements through the trees and hoping she was sober enough not to hurt herself. She tripped at that moment and he leaped after her.
Not surprisingly they landed in a heap of twisted arms and legs.
"Let go of me!" Lucy fought, still crying.
"No!" Natsu wound around her, burying his head in her neck. She continued to struggle until she was exhausted. He waited. "I'm sorry."
Her laugh was hollow and he winced.
"No, really Lucy, I am sorry. I never had thought of it like that, I just thought that by leaving you be, that maybe you might find happiness and peace and not end up in the burn pile when everything…comes to a close." Natsu explained, shifting and pulling her into him.
"You're so stupid." She muttered, still hurt and a hangover beginning to blossom.
"I am." He nodded and hugged her close again, smelling her deeply. "I missed you so much, Lucy." He sighed.
"You didn't have to." Lucy whispered, still upset.
"I know, please forgive me."
"No." Lucy replied petulantly. Natsu stiffened a moment before laughing. His whole body shook her own, as he laughed and she found herself even more irritated with him. "Stop laughing at me, dammit!" She struggled against him again, before being pinned against the ground forcefully.
"No." Natsu threw back at her, sitting on top of her wide hips, leaning in close to her body. "You are so…irritating, and stubborn, and—" Lucy bucked, almost throwing him off of her, "funny, and cute, beautiful, and stupid, and smart, and wonderful, and sweet!" He shoved her back onto the ground and sunk down meeting her chest to chest, still straddling her. "Listen to me, Luce-ey." He whispered huskily.
"Why should I?" Lucy squirmed trying not to face him or look him in the eye. He nuzzled her neck in reply, she squeaked, making him smirk.
"Because, you ought to know why I'm doing what I am doing, right?"
"I deserve to!" She betrayed herself and exclaimed passionately, finally dead-eyeing him.
"You are," He frowned and swallowed loudly, "The most important person to me, Lucy Heartfilia of Fairy Tail."
Lucy's breathing slowed as she laid shocked and emotionally exposed.
"Natsu?" She exhaled.
"You. Are. My. Most. Important. Person." Slowly he dipped down to kiss her forehead, taking far too long to do so.
"Natsu!" Lucy cried. Her tears completely unleashed. "Natsu, I can't keep living this way! I need you, please tell me you need me, too!"
"That's why I'm distancing myself. I have to protect you." He whispered as he kissed her face desperately trying to stop her tears, but never touching her lips.
"You idiot!" Lucy huffed while slamming her fists onto the ground. "Don't you remember Erza speaking of when she almost died from the Etherion? She said you don't die for your friends you live for them! Well, we aren't dying (yet) but this is similar! Us not being partners or friends or…whatever, is just not living!"
Slowly, Natsu released her wrists, and pulled her up onto her feet.
"Come on, I'll walk you home." Lucy stared at him in awe as he brushed off all that just happened between them. He shrugged off his shirt and gave it to her, sick of seeing her shiver. Without argument she pulled it over her tube top and mini skirt, thankful for the gesture, though her eyes still welled with tears. There was no doubt in the young celestial mages mind that what they had was over. "Come with me, Lucy!" Natsu offered her his hand, and for a moment she had an awful sense of deja-vu. For a moment she stared at the hand that she had come to rely on as her strength and cornerstone. Then, just as before, she took that rough calloused hand in her own and allowed the man attached to it to carry her away. Lucy Heartfilia was unexplainably and permanently in love with Natsu Dragneel, and nothing either one of them could do, would change her feelings.
Swiftly, the dragon-slayer pulled her into the streets of Magnolia and she found herself digging her heels into the ground, not wanting to leave him.
"No." She wimpered, "I don't want this night to end, I don't want us to—"
"Hush, Lucy." His warm fingers caressed her lips as he continued ushering her through the town, brushing new tears away from her pale flesh. They began to almost dance through the streets, Lucy trying to extend their walk, and Natsu trying to get her inside and warm. "Lucy, I just want to get you inside where it is warm and you're comfortable!" He was exasperated as he threw her over his shoulder, not caring one bit when her underwear said hello to the world.
Soon they were in front of her apartment and much to her surprise and dismay he decided to actually use the front door for once. Pulling her house key out of her secret pocket in her skirt, despite her swatting, he opened her door and dropped her onto the nearby couch unceremoniously. Locking the door and lighting a lamp, he came to her.
"Would you like some water? I can smell the alcohol leaking out of you. You're definitely going to have a hangover." And with that he was in her kitchen, as if nothing had ever changed between them at all.
"I'm taking a bath." Lucy announced as her came back into view. "Promise me you'll stay." He nodded his consent and she went to clean up quickly.
XXX
Natsu exhaled deeply as he sat on the pink comforter outfitting the bed of his dreams. It had been forever since he last stood, let alone sat in, Lucy's bedroom or apartment. The girls' scent surrounded him and calmed his worries. He massaged his temples; thinking.
Lucy sat immersed in bubbles and hot steamy water. Yet, still she could feel the tears behind her eyes. Lucy had cried for so long and for so many nights that she believed her eyes could no longer tear up, and still they continued their shameless act. Submerging herself in the water she stayed under as long as she could, wanting nothing but to wash it all away. Natsu had practically said that they were over because he wanted to protect her.
Perhaps, Cana was right about everything, but it didn't much matter if Natsu couldn't be swayed to change his mind. Lucy played with the foamy bubbles, making mountains and castles in her mind. Castles, that shiny Prince-figures, would climb up and save the, pretty, Princess stuck in the tower. Guarded, of course, by a mean nasty dragon. A stupid. Blasted. Dragon.
Lucy sighed and dunked herself once more into the bubble bath before getting out and drying off. If this was her last night with Natsu, perhaps ever, than she might as well make the most of it. So, out she went, towel as her only coverage.
As the bathroom door opened, Natsu could only stare. He had forgotten how wonderful her body in a towel was. Lucy strolled over to her dresser and began searching for her pajamas and he just watched. How could he have forgotten something so important to him? He watched as the towel shifted and allowed the blondes' hip to peak out of the wrap at him, making him gulp painfully.
"Lucy," Natsu began without thinking. The girl turned without delay and hummed questioningly to him, not seeming to mind the exposed flesh. "I-I am so sor—" He stopped himself and shut up.
Lucy, seeming to understand him, pulled on her clothes around the towel, not showing anything yet being fully dressed now in shorts and a tank top. Walking to him, slightly unsure, she kneeled in front of him. Leaning her hands on his knees, she looked up into his pained face and melted.
"Natsu, please don't be sad." She spoke softly, "I may not agree with it or like it at all, not one bit, but I understand why…you're pushing me out of your life." Her face crumbled a bit before she pulled it back together, gripping his legs for support. "I-I love you, Natsu, so please just be happy, with whatever you choose to do." His tanned hands gripped hers tightly and yanked her roughly to his chest. Now, straddling his lap, she was enveloped in his arms.
"I love you too, that's why I had thought…that this all was a good idea. I thought if I could change your destiny from being intertwined with my own that I could save your future." Now Natsu began to sniffle, rubbing her back and squeezing her tightly.
"Natsu, that's the whole point, you dense idiot!" Lucy admonished lightly, "My fate has always been with you, you are my destiny, my future, my path. Without you, my purpose is dismal at best. Please, don't shun me!"
"What if, what if I can't stop it? What if—"
"Shhhh, you are Natsu Dragneel, son of the great Fire-Dragon King, Igneel! You are the Salamander of Fairy Tail! You, are my dragon-slayer…" Lucy giggled while petting his face, smoothing out his wrinkled brow. "You would never break a promise. Who can ever guess the future or see how it will end or control its outcome? We need to just live, Natsu!" Lucy cooed and kissed his nose gently. Meeting forehead to forehead, they breathed each other in.
"How did, I ever come to deserve you?" Natsu whispered, before sealing their lips. The kiss was gentle and full of love and desire and fear. His large hands gripped her hips almost painfully, tugging her as close as physically possible. Her hands went to his salmon locks and yanked him back to her lips as he tried to pull away for air, their kiss deepened and became passion-filled shortly.
"Will you stop trying to shove me away? Will you stay with me, Natsu?" Lucy gasped with hooded eyes, as they stopped for air. He dominated her mouth and tongue once more before fully answering.
"I'm not going anywhere, Luce."
A/N: I have no idea where that shit-storm of angst came from...but I just had to write it! I really hope it was at least entertaining if not enjoyable! I know it was OOC but...that's how it happened! Haha, please give me some feedback guys! REVIEW? Fave? Whatever? :))