Creating your own future

Hi Everyone!

I would like to apologise to everyone who has been pm-ing me, reviewing and everything else for not updating sooner. I really don't have a good excuse. I sort of starting reading... and watching and got absorbed by Doctor Who and other fandoms and then a bit of real life what with interviews, ankle-healing and moving to the other side of the world (yay New Zealand!) and more interviews, visas etc. But I technically had time to write and ideas I just... never buckled down. So I'm sorry.

Let me say that I still have a million-and-one ideas for this fanfic and I'm definitely not stopping writing. And I don't plan on any more one-year-time-outs in case anyone is wondering. And I am so, so sorry for disappointing everyone with the long time. I do hope everyone enjoys this chapter. I'm working on the next one!

I have responded to everyone's reviews of the last chapter at the bottom of this one. Your thoughts are always appreciated and I was always very happy when I received another notification of a review throughout the past year. I would love some more.

I do hope you enjoy this chapter and I haven't lost my writing style entirely over the past year.

Voices. It was the voices that woke her first.

She blinked slowly.

Any Occlumencer worth his salt knew what their mindscape looked like; and from there on it was child's play to know what was dream and what was reality.

At least that's what the books said. That's what people told you. But Hermione had learnt her lesson a long time ago, back when she'd been eleven in a fairytale castle and no adult had listened, back when people would tell her that things were safe, that they were safe - she'd learnt her lesson when it was three children making their way through a maze in the bottom of the castle as the only defenders of both the Wizarding and Muggle word. And the lesson had been drummed into her throughout the following years - teachers that were actually incompetent, lying, and took your memories from you, adults masquerading as rats and years and years of being lied to, of being told it was safe; newspapers that were poorly-concealed gossip-mongers and yet an entire population following the loudest voice rather than deciding on their own what was wrong and what was right.

Trust no one. Believe nothing. Even if you think what you're seeing is real, you cannot trust your own two eyes. Everything had to be double and triple-checked.

And yet there had always been exemptions for her, two people who had stood by her side no matter what and despite years of being apart, years of no contact, years of not having talked, heard or seen them, there were only three people in the entire world, future and past, that she trusted unconditionally.

Harry - best friend, a hero with a saving-people-complex, the shy young boy who had grown into an admirable leader she would've followed to the very gates of hell.

Ron - best friend, almost lover, strategist and the boy who had grown out of his jealousy and desperate need for attention into a firm, steadfast support who would rather die than let her or Harry down.

And, most surprising of all, perhaps, Remus Lupin. The man who had seen her at her lowest, the man who had built her up when she didn't think there was enough of her left - when she hadn't been able to tell right from wrong and up from down. The man who had taught her, her entire life and been there to pick her up when she had been all alone and everyone else leaning on her - he'd offered her his shoulder and given her the strength to stand.

Albus had always been in charge of the Wizarding world in its entirety and she couldn't trust him not to sacrifice her or her friends - or himself, for that matter - if he thought it served the greater good.

She loved so many, lost so many and yet trusted so few. And yet, most heartbreaking of all, she knew what she had to do, what Remus and Castiel had warned her of, a lifetime ago, it seemed. And now, the day had come. Letting go seemed such an impossible request.

The voices became clearer, as did their faces.

"Come on, Ron, don't make me laugh!", Harry, her brother in all but blood, snorted derisively; a smirk that seemed eerily like Malfoy's own, not that she'd ever tell him that. "The day the Cannons win the World Cup is the day that Voldemort turns up and declares his life-long ambition to be a ballerina!"

Her lips twitched against her will at that particular image, though the Ron was only more incensed.

"I'm telling you, Harry, this year is the year the Chudley Cannons will win the World Cup! You're just jealous!"

Harry, usually always on the redheaded's side and not one for silly arguments, had gotten progressively more aggressive throughout the training as war mages, angry at this sudden switch in his life, this need to learn and stand still, reading the news about the deaths rather than fighting against the Dark Lord. He'd always preferred the head-on approach. It had been Hermione who had become the mediator as Ron was too easy to rile up on the topic of his favourite Quidditch team.

"Jealous? Jealous of what? I've won every Quidditch match I've been in and the Cannons last won... oh, when was it? When Merlin was still alive? Or was it before Hogwarts was ever built?"

And there it was - cue explosion of Ron's temper. Red faced, fists shaking and wand forgotten. If one of the instructors saw them now, she doubted that the youngest male Weasley would be waking up within the next three days. Forgetting your wand, indeed.

"I don't think that's a feasible hypothesis, even if you truly have somehow forgotten Ron's yearly celebrations of the date.", she interrupted both boys who were now just very short of having a full-out brawl. Harry frequently claimed it soothed his temper, but she still doubted that injuring one another could be beneficial in anyway.

"Mione! You're awake!"

She pushed herself up, rolling her eyes as both boys had now forgotten their fight entirely and concentrated on her only.

"No kidding, Sherlock. How did you suss that one out?"

Harry and Ron both gaped at her - the times she actually lost her temper were rare and few and far in between. And there was no way she was going to explain to them that this was the easiest way to get both boys to stop fighting one another and unite in attempt to sooth her ire - or perceived ire, anyway.

But suddenly they diverted from her memory and Harry morphed into the slightly older, more mature and infinitely calmer version she'd seen emerging when they were on the run. Ron, similarly, grew taller - she wondered if that boy had ever stopped growing - and his face hardened with the added experiences they'd survived together.

"You don't need to do that anymore, you know. Taking care of us."

Hermione stopped, breathing coming out in gasps. The statement was not cruel and yet its meaning was - to her. This was not just a memory anymore, now. She knew - had known for a long time, in fact - that this was coming, knew what she had to do. There was no wiggle room, no maybe's about it. Her habit, her way of dealing and handling her issues had become untenable; and not just in a mild way. The negatives outweighed the positives by far on this occasion and it shouldn't have been a difficult choice at this point. She'd known it was coming, had thought she'd be prepared, be okay by the time it would come up.

For some unfathomable reason, she had actually thought that at some point she would be able to let go of the ghosts of her past that she'd created, Harry and Ron, the way she remembered them. A part of her wanted to cry but that wouldn't change anything. It had been a long time coming - her dependence on the two for advice, to help her, to focus her, to remind her of who Hermione Granger was, what her reasons were, had only grown. Instead of lessening their hold over her with time it had only grown. And she wasn't ready.

She really wasn't. Far from it, in fact. And she didn't want to. Every fibre of her being screamed for her to not let go; she couldn't. They were her last link, they were her boys. How could anyone ask her to do this?

But no one was. No one knew, not really. Albus may have a few guesses, but he'd never know the true extent of it, if she could help it. This was something she needed to handle on her own. A vicious scourging of her own memories; something any occlumentist would tell you was not only the worst way to go about it, but also the most painful. Unfortunately, all the other ways took months - this one took hours, at most a day. And that, to her, made all the difference.

But still - she couldn't. Wouldn't...

"Of course I do, I always do. You need me and I- I need you. Both of you."

Calm - that was the word she'd have used to describe Harry near the end of their mage training. Someone who understood the dangers, understood the sacrifices and someone who was determined above all else to make sure the three of them survived - and understood that this meant others may die in their place. He'd let go of his anger, knowing it would only lead him to make irrational decisions.

Ron had hardened instead; he'd grown to appreciate the larger world outside of his childhood perspective and he'd started to understand the difficult decisions that Harry would no doubt be forced to make. And he'd learnt that he didn't want to be in his shoes anymore and instead he grew into a young man - someone who would support Harry, no matter what decisions he might make, someone who'd have his back and who'd give advice on strategies and plans.

And it was that him that spoke to her now, the man who'd come to understand that he'd be sacrificing human lives with his chessboard pieces.

"C'mon, Mione, you've never needed us, not really. Even at eleven you were so strong-headed and knew precisely what you wanted. You've been there for us since then, helping us, researching - hell, you knew half a year before anyone else that it was goddamn Basilisk roaming through the castle. You don't need us, never have. You have found your own way before and you will again."

Her lips quivered with the suppressed tears.

"And, let's be honest, we'd always need you. But we haven't had you and can't ever have you again... You know that."

Ron, faithful, wonderful Ron. Brown eyes, lit with warmth and compassion for her, a large hand on top of her own. For all that he was an emotional dunderhead... sometimes... just sometimes, mind, he knew just what to say.

And Harry, she remembered, as his hand landed on top of Ron's. His lips were twisted into a bittersweet smile, his eyes wells of empathy and sorrow.

"The three musketeers... We really had the best of times. The best. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, no matter what happens, remember that once a long time ago you were the most important witch in history. The brightest witch of our age. And that to us, you were everything - hear me? Everything." His voice was choked with the emotions but she watched as he simply swallowed past it, bright green eyes still fixed on her.

"We will always love you... But we're not here, not really. And we don't belong. This is your time, your life, your second chance. It's not for us. We may live again - or there may be a ... I don't know, a Rose Potter instead of me. The point is, the future doesn't exist. It's unwritten. But us, this Ron and this Harry, we won't ever exist. Because for us, there will never be a Hermione. And that's okay - really, it is. It'll be a sad existence without you", that drew a small grin from her, answered by one from both her friends. "but if it all goes right, we will have happier lives; and that's the real reason you're doing all of this, isn't it? And that's why it's now time to let go."

Her mouth opened to reply but at that moment the room dissolved around her - and her friends with it.

The abrupt departure from her mindscape was a jarring wake-up call. Her magical senses were slowly coming back and one was screaming at her that there was someone this room with her - someone dangerous. Her eyes flew open and she scanned the area around her.

It hadn't felt like an apparition so the most likely scenario was that this person had been in the room for a long time. Long enough with her in a very vulnerable position and yet he or she had not taken any action. While that did not automatically make them a friend, nor any less dangerous, it did mean that they were unlikely to attempt an immediate attack on her so she did not reach for her wand - though she doubted she'd even manage to draw sparks from it at this particular moment in time.

Hermione forced herself upright, her body silently screaming as it jarred muscles and bones she shouldn't be agitating at the moment. Her body was starting to break into sweat from the pain and the sudden awakening; there was a reason she was meant to sleep through the first couple of days after this kind of injury.

But, more importantly, she noted that the matron's monitoring wards had not been set off, which meant they had not only managed to intrude the castle without setting off any kind of alarm, but also managed to avoid detection from any staff member up to this point, which was worrying. Hogwarts had some of the most qualified and able wizards and witches in one place and yet none had noticed anything amiss.

"I had expected you to notice me earlier, given your impressive display at Diagon alley, but alas, it seems the reality is more disappointing. Though with that magical exhaustion it's impressive enough that you're alive at all, I suppose."

He let the wards around him drop - or at least most of them. This witch would not be a problem, considering the state she was in. And his current wards would still protect him from the muggle weapons, though admittedly the rune network on her handgun was a rather impressive work of magic.

He watched as her eyes sought him out, scanned him and watched the recognition form in her eyes after another moment. Interesting... so she knew him. There weren't many who could claim that these days.

"See, when a witch suddenly turns up out of the blue, fights the way you do and starts at Hogwarts where so many impressionable young minds reside, people start to worry. And when people start to worry, they send me."

The young girl in front of him smirked and he found himself slightly intrigued. Worry, fear, panic, anxiousness - those were usual and expected responses. She displayed none of those and instead seemed oddly at ease around him. Even if she did know him and even on the unlikely occasion that she knew his real job, she should have still been worried, because he could kill her, right here and now and she wouldn't be able to defend herself in the slightest. So why was she so relaxed?

"No, they don't. Your... how shall I put this... organisation? Will that work? Yes, I think we should refer to them as organisation for the time being. The organisation you're a part of... the big wigs have sent you out to find out what's going on? But they're not worried, not in the slightest. Because they don't think anything's going to happen. What could one little girl really do, after all? Nah, you're just here for some information. Too bad - I don't know what you're talking about."

He found himself almost smiling at the sheer audacity of this small slip of the girl that looked well bruised and beaten and yet seemed to have some fight left in her. She'd be good at his job, he thought.

"So you're saying you don't know anything about the bank accounts suddenly appearing in your name, the sudden and suspiciously successful business ventures and investment returns from the Goblins, nor do you know anything about the teacher who has suddenly started sprouting tales of her star student even though she's never mentioned her before?"

People always forgot little things. Even when amending memories of teachers, headmasters and janitors they forgot to change the memories of the guy at the pub who'd been listening to their woes for years and who would perk up at the mention of something strange. He watched the realisation dawn on her and the curse she suppressed so as to not give away the game entirely.

He'd spent enough time watching her sleep - he had no desire to spend another few days working hard to evade everyone's attention. It was time to end this, once and for all. He'd have to kill her - a shame, so young and seemingly clever, yet another young girl who'd been swept away by her emotions and made a stupid decision. And he'd have to kill her for it. No second chances, not for cases like this. It really seemed to be true in her case - the flame that burns twice as bright, burns half as long.

"It's over. We know you travelled back in time. Did you really think there was no one monitoring the fabric of time? When there's a reset - like you've done - did you truly think no one would notice? So, what was it? Lost your parents? Friends? Lover? Think you're doing the right thing by preventing an explosion? Or maybe the Diagon Alley debacle? Was that it? Think you know what's right or wrong and decided it needed to change?"

To his astonishment, the young witch burst into laughter at his accusation. Peals of laughter escaped her mouth and one hand held her stomach protectively as she burst into another round of laughter.

"Oh Merlin, I'm sorry." Her lips were still twitching but she'd finally reigned in her amusement. He found himself glaring angrily at the young girl. "It's just... It's been a long since I've last been accused of short-sighted foolish adventures."

His glare intensified. Merlin, they got younger every time. To suss out time travel at such an age, she truly had to be brilliant. But to call it an adventure?

"You call this an adventure?" His voice was low and any of his recruits would have told the person foolish enough to incite his anger to run for the hills - not that it would've done them any good. Before he had the chance to lay into the young witch and watch as the true horror of what she'd done, dawned on her, he heard whispers and hurried footsteps just outside the door.

He quickly brought up the wards and allowed himself to fade back into the shadows just in time as the door sprung open and five individuals - clearly hidden by an invisibility cloak as their feet and calves were the only parts of their body still visible - stumbled in.

"Ha, see! Made it! Told ya we could!"

"Oh, shut up, Prongs. We barely made it past all the prefects and teachers!" another voice responded while slipping out from beneath the cloak entirely. It was a young boy, brown hairs and eyes, slim and with slight scarring over all his visible body, though faint enough not to be seen by most. Werewolf, most likely. Curious, he hadn't known there was one at Hogwarts - and he severely doubted anyone else did either.

Another young boy with tousled black hair, brown eyes and mischievous smile came out from underneath the cloak. A troublemaker then. Looked like he might be a Potter - or at least he was a dead-reckoner for old Charles Potter. If not directly linked, he at least had some Potter blood in him.

"Oh, don't be such a stickler for rules. Look, even Evans - err... I mean, Lily - decided to break all rules and sneak out after hours!"

A young witch suddenly emerged from within the throng of feet, pushing bright red hair behind her, green eyes flaring brightly with both excitement and anger, cheeks flushed as she stomped over to the hazel-eyed boy. He didn't recognise her. Maybe a Prewett, but the only matching trait was the hair. Her facial features bore no similarity - most likely a muggleborn then. Headgirl, rule-conscious, a goody two shoes at least at first glance.

"Now, let's get one thing straight, Potter. I am not a rule breaker and I happen to agree with Remus! But this is for a friend, an exception. Don't think I will hesitate to deduct points next time you try to sneak out. And besides, you had better be far more careful on the return trip. I can't be caught - I'm headgirl!"

He drew back slightly in surprise as the next person revealed themselves. The Black heir? Consorting with a Potter, a Werewolf and a Muggleborn? Now this was truly a surprise. The Blacks were, after the late Alphard Black, very pro-Dark magic and supporting the latest Dark Lord. Any member of their family seen to be on good terms with Muggles, Blood traitors or magical creatures had been promptly disinherited and taken off the family tapestry, according to rumours. It appeared the youngest Black Heir was trying his damndest to alienate his family since he seemed to be friends with every single person they abhorred. He wondered just how far he could go as heir apparent before he'd be disinherited.

"So? Prongs is Headboy. I don't see him jumping about in a panic! Anyways, where is the girl of the hour?"

A small boy who seemed to be rather unremarkable considering the group he was surrounded by, piped up.

"You mean the one who apparently single-handedly wrestled giants into submission?"

"No," Potter interjected, smirk on his lips. "I mean the one who rode on a Griffin to save us from a stampede of Thestrals."

The female redhead snorted and rolled her eyes, pushing her way past the boys to Hermione's bedside.

"Stupid louts, the lot of you. Now, how are you feeling, Hermione?"

He was slightly amused that the young witch had, during the chaos of the quintet's arrival, slipped on a jumper and hidden herself as much as possible beneath the sheets so only her face was clearly visible. Even that was bruised and she looked suddenly smaller than before, hidden as she was beneath the white sheets and he had a sudden flash of his own daughter back before she'd been caught in one of Grindelwald's attacks.

He shook the thought off as quickly as it had come, refusing to give in to the emotions that had welled up, warding himself to pain they inevitably brought with them.

The lips of the redhead started quivering and he could see her suppress her tears at her friend's battered form. Hermione responded with a crooked smile just as the four boys came around the curtain surrounding her bed.

"It's okay, really. It looks much worse than it is."

The brownhaired one, Remus, raised his eyebrows slightly as his nostrils flared. He nodded to himself - definitely a werewolf. And thank Merlin his wards hid his scent as well. But to his surprise the Black heir also seemed to sniff the air slightly. Maybe they weren't werewolves but animagi? But at such a young age...?

"I kinda doubt that, sweetheart. Those look like some pretty good shiners to me. Trust me, I'd know."

His own hand clenched at the admission. Pureblood families sometimes took to beating lessons into their children, ignoring just how inadvisable taking such an action was on a child who couldn't yet control their magic. He'd never understood how anyone could harm their own children; if his daughter were still alive, there was no way he wouldn't have moved heaven and earth to make her happy.

Sirius' lips formed a quick smirk as he quickly added. "There's been an upset boyfriend or two."

Hermione chuckled slightly, clearly allowing the excuse despite knowing better.

"What, not an upset girlfriend?"

Sirius gasped in fake outrage.

"I'll have you know that, while I completely understand that there are many a-boy lusting after this perfect male specimen of manhood," he skilfully ignored his friends snorts and carried on. "I am strictly a legs and tits man and-"

"Sirius!", Remus looked scandalised at the Black heir, cheeks flushed with his colour as he looked over to the girls.

"What? Hermione is the one who introduced us to 'Whole Lotta Rosie'. I think she can take a few crude words. Besides, I wasn't even being explicit!"

Remus' hand quickly slapped over Sirius mouth as the boy had clearly been about to do just that.

"Dont. You. Dare."

The redhead huffed a laugh at the Marauders antics and turned back to their bedridden friend.

"Ignore those idiots. They don't know how to behave themselves - even when it's after hours in the hospital wing and when we have to be quiet so as to not draw attention from every single teacher in the entire castle. I have no doubt that in a second they'll have the brilliant idea of setting off fireworks or other nonsense."

Hermione smiled warmly.

"It's okay; they're exactly what you need when you're alone in the hospital wing. You can't really sulk if you're surrounded by people falling over themselves to make you laugh."

Lily smiled.

"Well... I suppose there is that. Seems like the Marauders do have some redeeming features."

All four boys bowed comically, tipping their imaginary hats to the witches. It wasn't hard to notice that in spite of all the tomfoolery, the young witch in the bed hadn't actually cheered up. Despite her laughter, her eyes remained only slightly brighter than before.

"So, Lady Hermione, what wild beast did you slay on your ventures? The most extravagant tales are floating about the castle. And, I have to say, I dislike not being the one to have incited the tales - or know the truth behind them. It's surprisingly frustrating."

All five children were now crowded around her bed, though he was surprised to note that none touched her and she didn't invite any touch either, hands and shoulders hidden beneath the duvet.

"Not to worry, Sir Potter, only the latest Monster crawling out of the woodworks." She smirked at the boy, before blushing slightly.

"No, actually I just... I panicked. I couldn't remember the spell and I just wished something- anything would happen. I think I lost control of my magic. Hence the magical exhaustion and here I am in the hospital wing."

He frowned. She was lying - he knew what had happened - but there was barely any sign of this in her behaviour, which was worrying. People always showed signs but for them to be nigh indiscernible was concerning. Pathological liar? But no, he didn't think so. She seemed rather forthright in most of her answers... A puzzle...

Remus - the werewolf/animagus boy - appeared to have recognised the lie for what it was as well, though he didn't know whether it was due to the superior sensory input or if he knew her well enough to tell the difference. If he did know her well enough then that supposed that he knew her from before her time jump. Potentially interesting.

In the end, Remus simply remained quiet when everyone else teased her.

A noise just outside in the hallway startled the children into frantically searching for the invisibility cloak. When no one came in, they finally breathed in relief.

"Okay, that was too close for comfort. I think it's time we head back." James announced quietly. The rest of the ragtag gang nodded acquiescently.

"We'll come and see you again in a few days if you're not out by then, Hermione." Lily added. He watched as Hermione cowered away from the redheaded's touch; she didn't appear to notice, though, too busy grimacing at the cloak.

"Have I mentioned I really, really don't like cowering with four teenage boys - never mind the ever mischievous Marauders - beneath one tiny cloak? Seriously, can't we just ... I don't know, expand it?"

Yes, definitely Muggleborn then.

"Nah, the magic in invisibility cloaks is woven into each strand as it's made. Any other spells would interfere with it. I mean, you can spell it but you have to be very, very good with spellwork and know how to interweave them. No way of doing that at our level."

Ah, yes, Black heir - definitely a wider breadth of knowledge than most people had just learning from books.

"Anyway, we should really get moving. But don't worry, love, we'll definitely come back and visit you. It's been a bit boring without you, to be honest." Sirius smirked and winked at the bruised girl who just smiled softly in response, shaking her head amused by his flirtations.

"Yep. And we'll make sure that the more heroic tales are spread throughout the castle. You'll be celebrated as a hero upon your return. Hope you get better soon - you might find yourself swamped with chocolates otherwise.", the small boy, who had remained rather quiet throughout their visit, smiled hopefully up at the witch.

To his own surprise he noted the tensing of her neck muscles and the slight fisting of her hand even though her face betrayed none of the conflicting emotions when she smiled at the shy boy. How interesting.

"Enjoy the time away from the schoolwork. We'll make sure to have school-wide prank in your name."

"Oh don't you dare, James. I will drag you to the hospital wing myself, by your ears, and tell Pomfrey you want a thorough exam and at least three days with her monitoring you. So don't even think about it."

"...Fair enough. In that case, I will, in your name, of course, ask Lily out for a date and she'll have to agree as I'm sure your health will drastically improve once you've heard that she's fallen prey to my devastating charms!"

The redhead took the time to pull the cloak of her head and snort at the Potter-boys comment.

"That's not going to happen in this century. I am certainly not going to fall prey to anything."

There was some more grumbling and comments but finally all five had huddled themselves together beneath the cloak and made the slow march back to their common rooms. The smile dropped from Hermione's lips the moment the door closed behind them and her eyes immediately fastened back onto him.

He dropped his disillusionment spell along with some of the wards, before pulling over a chair, staring curiously at the young witch.

"I think it's time you tell me why you went back and by what method. And, more importantly, your real name and when you're from."

Hermione sighed.

"I know you."

"Yeah, thanks, I figured that one out myself."

God, he was as infuriating as always.

"But I knew with more grey hairs and a goatee... I have to say, you look much better without. Younger - well, given the grey hairs, wrinkles and scars, that's a fairly obvious one, but still." She sought out his blue eyes, watching him as her next words made him blanch.

"Clifford Donald Bullstrode."

His wand was out by her next breath and aimed at her, his eyes were icy but she could see the panic in them.

"How do you know that name?"

Hermione breathed in flatly, staring at him, recalling his more mature face. A different man, yet so similar in many ways.

"Or would you prefer to be called Beagle?"

There was a reason for code names and only fools had code names that actually meant something, that could be traced back to them with some logical thought and knowledge of the person. No, the right ones were common enough you could use them to alert the operative of impending danger without the other person knowing what you were doing and yet selected by randomly picking one of the lot.

His eyes narrowed and he hissed out. "No one should know of those two names in the same breath. HOW do you know that? No one should have that information - No one."

As far as the Wizarding world was concerned, Clifford Bullstrode had died in the war against Grindelwald - perished with his daughter. She'd needed to unsettle him. She knew what he was sent here for - she'd be a fool if she didn't. He was here to kill her. Time travel was not allowed. The fabric of time was not to be interfered with. But they were only humans - and humans could be swayed. That's why it was important to talk to him and to make him give her enough time to explain herself.

At the moment she had no way of defending herself, so she had been forced to find another way to force him to listen. It was the Marauders and their call of 'Prongs' that had given her the idea in the first place.

"My name is Hermione Granger. I am about twenty-four years old and I was born on 30th September 1979."

He gaped.

"But that's-"

"Impossible - or improbable, trust me, I know. I don't think many have ever been foolish enough to think of a way to go back before they were ever born."

"No, you don't realise what you've done. The moment you went back-"

She interrupted him again. She could guess what he was doing, what his usual speech was, what he thought she didn't know. She could only guess how often people had gone back - just a few days or a year at most, hoping to save the person they loved.

But she wasn't them. Her case wasn't a normal one, because she'd gone with the full knowledge of what she was doing and with the full belief that yes, it might go worse but most ways would be better than the path the world was currently on.

"I know. The moment I went back, the future that I came from and I ceased to exist. Everyone I know, everyone I love, is no more. And I will never be born. My mother and father will either die before they have me or never even meet in the first place. I will not be born. I will exist as an anomaly in this time - no parents, never born and no past."

She saw him staring at her, taken aback. How do you explain that you thought this was an acceptable sacrifice? That you erased everything you were, that you erased your own parents and their love, the life they'd built for themselves, that you destroyed your friends, your teachers and everyone you've ever known, potentially permanently.

"I know, trust me, I know. I went into this time knowing all of that. I know it seems difficult to believe that I would willingly go to all that risk, but this wasn't just my decision. Twelve of the strongest and best mages I've ever had the pleasure of knowing gave their lives for this, willingly. The time I come from? Most of Europe is under Voldemort's regime. Witches, Wizards, Muggles, Creatures... everyone is being hunted into extermination. Our population has been decimated. You want to know what my reason is? Let me tell you about my reason. Those people you saw earlier? They're my best friend's parents and his godfather. Let me tell you a story. Let me tell you about my friend - let me tell you about the boy-who-lived, about Harry James Potter, a name that used to be on everyone's lips since 1981, a baby hailed as a hero by the Wizarding world."

Hermione hoped, desperately, that he'd let her live. If he didn't, he might also try and erase any information about the future. She couldn't bear it if the lives given had all been for naught, if nothing were to change. If there was no other way, if he still intended to kill her, she'd be on the run again. From him - from all of them. She didn't know how much she could change that way. Her body needed to rest, needed to heal.

But... if he didn't... if he refused to let her live... then her trainer, her teacher would need to die at her hands. The blade of her knife felt icy in her hands, cold suffusing her even as her mouth opened to tell him about her life, about the future, and hope to Merlin, God and everything else out there that she wouldn't end up with even more innocent blood on her hands by the end of the day.

I'm curious - what do you guys think? I rewrote and reworded this so many times, so I hope everyone likes it.

Anyway, thoughts, criticism, anything and everything is appreciated - please review!

So, I'd like to address all my faithful reviewers from the last chapter:

Comic Critic chapter 13 . Apr 22

Hi! Thank you so much for your review. I do hope you managed to not fall asleep in class. Some teachers do appear to have some issues with that, though I don't know quite why. If they're not interesting enough to keep you awake, it's really their fault, isn't it *wink*. And thanks for your interest in my fanfic. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

MaryBlackDumbledore chapter 13 . Apr 16

Thank you very much for your lovely review. Of course there will be a next chapter (see above ^-^). I'm afraid no Albus in this one, but I do like him. It's always a fine line with him in regards to characterisation, I feel. On the one hand he does love the children but on the other he's lost perspective. It's important for them to regain that - which is Hermione's job, or at least one of them. I'm flattered you think this is one of the best time travel fanfics you've read. I challenge you to read "The Werewolf Tamer" by atruwriter and still say that. Now that is one of the best I've ever read! Anyway, do hope you're still reading and still enjoying! Let me know what you think!

acompletenerd chapter 13 . Mar 22

Hi! Thanks for your lovely review. Of course I wouldn't abandon it. I'm just a bit lazy and undisciplined - I am sorry for the delay. Anyway, hope you continue enjoying. Hermione will heal, but it'll take some time. This is not something you can just bounce back from and that's the whole point. It'll take time and effort, but there will be healing; Remus, especially, will be essential to that. She heals him as he heals her. Anyway, continue reading and let me know your thoughts, please!

Aki02 chapter 13 . Feb 15

Hi, I'm so sorry, but Google translate is atrocious, so I'm not sure what your review said except for please update and that it's a wonderful story. So I would like to thank you for your review, I do hope you're still enjoying it and will keep reading :)

Guest chapter 13 . Jan 12

That's fantastic, thank you very much. To know someone is actually re-reading is a very nice compliment. Thanks for your review and taking the time to review as a guest. I do hope you will continue reading and check back and see that the story has been updated. Please let me know what you thought of the latest chapter.

Vedra42 chapter 13 . Jan 4

Hiya! I'm glad you're back safe and sound. More chapters are on their way, hopefully you'll get the chance to read them even though several months have passed by now.

I do agree with you - Ron certainly seems to have little to no appreciation of anything Muggle, which is a rather surprising character trait. I thought Poppy would be open-minded enough and careful enough to learn these things for 'just-in-case' cases like this one. Well, that and I couldn't just let Hermione die just because of incompetence ^-^. I do like Rufus as a character thanks to your invaluable help. Hope you have some more thoughts which will help me flesh out the next chapter much more. My current Clifford is lacking a bit of ... well, something that makes him more three-dimensional. Any thoughts are appreciated! Anyway, let me know what you think so far.

maya chapter 13 . Dec 14, 2014

Hi! Thanks for your review. Yep, there is more. I do hope you enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you think!

Guest chapter 13 . Nov 28, 2014

Hi! Thanks so much for taking the time to review and sharing your thoughts. I think there are a number of authors out there who felt that it went remarkably smoothly - relatively speaking - for what it was. I'm glad you're enjoying it and I do hope you continue enjoying. Let me know what your thoughts are on the latest chapter if you get the chance!

PatronusOwl21660 chapter 13 . Nov 25, 2014

Thanks for your lovely review and don't worry, half a year later - no deaths. Here's your update and I'm working on more. I'm glad you're enjoying the fanfic. Please let me know your thoughts on the latest chapter!

calire chapter 13 . Nov 19, 2014

Thanks for your review and I'm sorry to dash your hopes as it took half a year. I am glad you're enjoying the fanfic; I hope you continue enjoying it. Please let me know what you think of the latest chapter. / Mon francais n'est pas si bien et je suis desole pour tous le erreurs. Merci beaucoup pour ton comment et je suis vraiment desole que autant beaucoup de temp (un demi anee) c'est passe depuis ca. Je suis heureuse que tu adore ma fic et j'espere que ca ne changera pas. J'aimerai bien si tu me dis ce que tu pense de la derniere chapitre.

Guest chapter 13 . Sep 11, 2014

Thanks so much for your review and I'm sorry to say it's taken me until May a year later to update. I hope you're still keeping an eye out and will enjoy this chapter. Let me know your thoughts.

Guest chapter 13 . Sep 10, 2014

Yay, thanks so much for your review. I'm afraid the maze story will remain hush-hush. Certain people have/will find out, but not all. I am glad you're enjoying the story and hope you continue doing so!

Shiki de Uchiha chapter 13 . Aug 23, 2014

Thank you very much. I am happy you're enjoying the story. I do hope you enjoyed this latest chapter as well and I'd appreciate your thoughts on it.

Ayra13 chapter 13 . Jul 25, 2014

Thank you very much for your lovely review. I am so glad you think Hermione is still believable; my worry is always that the character starts down the Mary-Sue road and suddenly becomes this unattainable goddess floating above everyone else. I'll do my best to keep all my characters grounded, but it's always good to have someone point out when it goes wrong (or right ^-^), so thanks! I am glad you're enjoying all the background and development of the story. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter too - please let me know what you think of it.

Luna-Assassin chapter 13 . Jul 23, 2014

Hi Red, Thanks so much for your review. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. The update was a long time coming, I'm afraid. I do put a lot of effort into the detail, so I'm glad you're picking up on it. Please let me know your thoughts on my latest update!

Gillyweed21 chapter 13 . Jul 12, 2014

Yay, thanks so much for your fantastic review. A great, big thank you for you pointing out you like my grammar, punctuation and spelling - I don't know any grammar and really only learn by reading on how to do it right, so thanks for telling me it's good; it's something I'm constantly worried about, especially as it's not my mother tongue. To have this as one of your top favourites - thank you again! I will continue my best with the tenses, but it does, admittedly, get slightly confusing at this point with might-have-beens, never-could-be's, actually-were's and used-to-be's-before-changes. I'll muddle my way through. And I'm unfortunately a terribly undisciplined person who's let her faithful reviewers down for a year without updates. I'm sorry. I do hope you're still reading and you'll still review and leave me with your thoughts of the chapter.

stelladog0090 chapter 13 . Jul 11, 2014

Hi! Thanks for your review! I'm glad you're enjoying my fanfic. Yes, Hermione was around the age of 24 when she went into the past. She is pretending to be her younger self, essentially, and has put on a sort-of-glamour that makes her look the way she remembers herself, baby fat and everything. Due to the war she has scars and drastic weight loss which would all make her stand out. The glamour - her own invention - also allows people who touch her to feel as though that body is what they're touching. Hope that makes sense. I think I've got a very short version of that explanation in one of the first few chapters, but hopefully the above has elucidated you on anything unclear. If there is still anything, feel free to PM me and I'll do my best to explain! I hope you're still reading & enjoying. Let me know what you think!

Mari Wollsch chapter 13 . Jun 27, 2014

Thanks for your review. Apparently, to answer your question about when I'll continue, my answer is today. I do apologise and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

Guest chapter 13 . Jun 24, 2014

Thanks for your review. I hope you haven't become tired of checking for an update. I would love another review from you on my latest chapter if you get the chance.

The Keeper of Worlds chapter 13 . Jun 11, 2014

Hey you! Thanks for reading this one too - I'm glad you're enjoying it. Working on all my other fanfics as well, so you won't have to wait too long to read another update on another one of my fics. Anyway, I'm glad you like this one too, I hope you'll leave me another review?

Kara-24 chapter 13 . Jun 6, 2014

I do apologise, but I don't speak any Russian. Luckily, google translate was unusually helpful in this instance. So, thank you very much for your review. I'm glad you're enjoying the fanfic and I hope you continue reading (and reviewing).

TheDarkKunoichi chapter 13 . Jun 4, 2014

Wow, thanks so much for your lovely & detailed review. And on my birthday too! Thanks ^-^ I'm not sure how to tackle this, so please forgive me if I've missed out on any of your questions - please feel free to re-ask and I'll either tell you it's for future chapters or apologise and explain...

In short, a lot happened. War mage training is originally meant to last three years but the Golden Trio received 'special attention' and the training due to circumstances was shortened to a year. The army training was only a four weeks and whatever she picked up when travelling with various muggles and wizards, witches over the years. Everything up to year five, including Sirius' death, took place. After that it diverged. And yes, Voldemort is still the reason behind everything. We don't know what happened to Harry and Ron - they were separated and though she followed many a lead on them, she never did find them again. Voldemort would've made a spectacle of their deaths, so it stood to reason they were still alive. Camp Potter - you found out bits and pieces through previous chapters. What specifically do you want to know? And yes, this one was pretty much an actual World War - as in most of the world and both Wizarding and Muggle were involved.

Fire-arms, again, Dean and Sam from Supernatural helped but she had some basics from her short training and what she had to learn on the run due to circumstances being what they were. She was 15 at the end of OotP and she's nearly 25 when she travels back in time. Does that help? I'm glad you like my badass Hermione! Our headmaster is who he has always been, but in this situation Hermione comes in as an unknown - not a muggleborn who hasn't been exposed, but someone who has seen the Wizarding world and experienced it. He doesn't know her allegiance at first nor her motives, but to him she looks like she's 16-ish, so he doesn't expect her to be much older than that and that makes her automatically - pretty much - innocent in his eyes. He does question her and her motives when she does something suspicious, but by the same token - she's Hermione. Her intentions, her goodness shines through. A Death Eater would not be caught on his knees communicating with house elves. Hope that explains your questions a bit about this.

I'm glad you're learning a lot. I actually had someone I know explain it to me, made notes and then incorporated it. I love Concorde. Concorde forever! Hope they'll bring it back some day. I know there's pilots still sitting at home, waiting for that plane to be brought back! And I agree, I always learn a lot just by reading. Drives my partner around the twist when I quote something famous or come to a really good insight and then tell him it's from fanfiction *lol*

Marauders are definitely still there, definitely part of the action. It's important that I first bring Hermione up to that path of healing so that her interactions with them and her plans with them can grow and develop. I can't really say much more without giving too much away. I'm hoping to redeem Peter, but still ultimately undecided on which side he'll choose.

Thanks for your thoughts on the New York-trip. I agree, it read a bit awkwardly in retrospect but I also think that Albus frequently seemed to get overly excited or distracted by small things; as the Doctor says in Doctor Who when he's around 2000+ years old: What's the point in being an adult if you can't be childish? I feel that's very much Dumbledore. He interacts with children, he enjoys the Marauders prank and even encourages them - he's a someone you really, really don't want to cross, but on the other hand he's suddenly been invited to this magnificent world he's never seen before, a world with everything he'd never even imagined and... yeah, to me it sorta made sense but I can definitely see where you're coming from. And of course I'm not upset or offended, I am very glad that you gave me your thoughts and it helps me improve and take your point of view into consideration for next time. So thank you ^-^

I hope you'll leave me with your thoughts on this chapter too!

ukie-girl chapter 13 . May 30, 2014

Hi! Thanks for your lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope you're not too upset over the long wait. Please continue leaving me reviews :)

fallenfaeangel chapter 13 . May 24, 2014

Hi! Thanks for your lovely review. I will try and keep the balance between the two. Hopefully we should start the healing after two more chapters, so it should slowly head towards the lighter side of things. I am trying to cut back and I've learnt to put review responses at the end as it's just frustrating to scroll at the beginning. Hope this works better for you. I'll try to cut back on author's notes too. This one was so long as I felt the need to apologise to you and everyone else who has been so wonderfully encouraging and reviewing in the hopes of another update. Let me know what you think of the latest chapter if you can.

Proudbooklover chapter 13 . May 21, 2014

I'm glad you're enjoying the fanfic so much and thank you again for your reviews and for staying with the story. I hope you're still reading and let me know your thoughts.

Pen Name Enter Here chapter 13 . May 21, 2014

Hi! Thanks for your review and I'm very happy you're loving my fic. I'm afraid it's been a while. I hope you'll leave me another review and you're still reading.

MysticWolf71891 chapter 13 . May 20, 2014

Hi! Thanks for your review and for sticking with this story throughout. Let's just say that you wouldn't be wrong. Hermione has incited some anger in the ministry with the licensing of her invention and now the new recruits.

The ghost-story is much easier to explain - it's a human thing to do. Hermione hasn't seen her best friends since that separation and they were the only ones she trusted. So you know the way you sometimes feel like you can hear the voice of your mum or your best friend in your head? That's basically it. She's imagining them - it's a coping mechanism, something to help her find her way back to the Hermione both Harry and Ron remember, someone she used to be. Remus encouraged her as there was no other solution in the short term but at the same time, he also warned her that at some point she would have to deal with her issues on her own.

Hope that's explained a few things :) I think you're probably regretting the 'no matter how long we wait' by now. A year now. I am sorry. I hope you're still sticking with me and you're still reading.

Chris chapter 13 . May 20, 2014

Thanks for your review. I hope you're still reading. Let me know what you think!

brighteyes2889 chapter 13 . May 18, 2014

Thank you for your review. I am sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

angel897 chapter 13 . May 18, 2014

Thank you so much for reviewing again! She's slowly on the path to healing and it's small steps, but steps nonetheless! Hope you'll leave me with another review?

Brian1972 chapter 13 . May 18, 2014

Thank you very much for your lovely review. I'm sorry it's been a year since then, but I will try and address your concerns nonetheless.

No - I have no idea how timetravel is possible so it won't be touched on in much detail and only ever mentioned when she has to explain things or when it's used to explain other issues. No paradoxes. Well, none beyond what this chapter, the previous ones and the next one have touched on.

That's okay - you don't have to like Supernatural or Crossovers. That's why the second part, the actual crossover, will be in a second fic. This won't touch on SPN other than in some casual references to US being different or mentioning Dean, Sam, Cas. The characters will not be appearing at all until the second fic and the first fanfic will have finished and come to an actual conclusion so you won't have to read the second one unless you're actually interested.

And no, demons and angels don't fight only in US nor are there no witches/wizards over in US; it's just that in the US the ley lines run through the country in a way that it actually affected the Supernatural. It twisted the normal werewolves into the SPN-ones, things like that. Due to hunters, Witches and Wizards who do live in US live in pretty much total seclusion. By the time the angels come down and wage war, most of the world is embroiled in one with Wizarding and Muggle world alike and most people on the run from Voldemort's surprisingly wide-spread regime. So in short, no they won't be part of Voldemort's war at all. Demons, Angels, Hunters - they're all staying well away from all that. Hope you continued reading and will leave me another review? If you have any more questions, feel free to PM me.

KEZZ 1 chapter 13 . May 18, 2014

Yay, thank you for your lovely review and I hope you'll forgive me for the long non-update. I did enjoy writing about bossy Minerva and Poppy. I would love to hear what you think of this chapter.

Guest chapter 13 . May 18, 2014

Thank you for your lovely review. I'm glad you're enjoying it so much and I hope you're still checking for updates. Let me know your thoughts!