A/N: This story was written for the NFA Secret Santa. I wrote it for our wonderful moderator, Colleen. Enjoy!

Camping- Chapter 1

"I hate Christmas. It's become a retail driven extravaganza filled with tension, frustration, and false cheer."

McGee frowned at Tony. "It's not that bad."

"Then explain what's on Gibbs' desk." He pointed at a box wrapped in paper decorated with tree ornaments with a red bow.

"It's a gift."

"We don't do gifts on this team. You know that. It's a rule."

"I reviewed the rules carefully. There is no such rule."

"It's unspoken, Tim. We don't do gifts," Tony said firmly.

"Just this year."

"No."

McGee stared down at his keyboard. "This year is different."

Tony glanced at Ziva's empty desk. He'd spent almost three months not looking at it. It literally hurt his gut to see someone else sitting there. It worked better to pretend it wasn't there. Empty or filled, the chair was Ziva's, but Tony didn't believe in fairytales, and he knew that those soulful brown eyes weren't going to be staring back at him any time soon. He pushed away from the desk abruptly. "It's not different. Life throws us lemons every day. This year is the same as any other."

"You always act like you're the only one missing her."

Tony shook his head and looked away.

"Come on, Tony. It'd would be great if you joined Abby and me. I told her I would help her get the children's shelter ready for the holidays tomorrow, and then we're going to midnight mass. Going to serve dinner at the shelter on Christmas Day."

"McGee." Tony looked up at the ceiling.

"I mean, I know it sounds like a little much, but I think it could be fun. Abby would be really excited if you came."

"I told you that I was heading up to New York to see my old man."

"Yeah, I know, but just in case…you know."

"Leave me alone," he growled.

Gibbs appeared with a coffee in his hand. He saw the gift on his desk and an eyebrow rose but he said nothing. "Go home. No reason to stay here. You'll have to be back on the 26th."

"Driving up to Stillwater tonight?"

"Yup."

McGee looked up. "Long drive, Boss. Ice storm is coming in."

"Storm's not going to get here until sometime tomorrow. I'll be at Dad's by midnight tonight."

Gibbs stared at the gift on his desk for a long moment. "So what's this? We don't really do presents around here."

"Ah…well, it's not really a gift…I mean, it's not much. It's nothing, really. Just a little something from me and Tony."

Tony looked up at the ceiling.

"Sure is wrapped fancy for something that isn't much."

"It was left over paper from…last year."

Tony shook his head.

"I mean, it's been kind of a tough year…thought it would be nice…" McGee gave up on further explanation.

Gibbs picked it up. "Well, part of gift giving is opening it in front of the giver."

Tim shook his head. "Not necessary."

Gibbs was already tearing it apart. He pulled out an IPad. "What's this? Looks expensive."

"No, Boss! It wasn't. Got it used. Ebay…Tony and I."

DiNozzo rolled his eyes.

Gibbs frowned. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

McGee jumped up. "Well, I know you're not much for technology, but you're always losing your reading glasses and I programmed it so the font is 16 pt."

"Font?"

"Words, Boss. The words are bigger. Ah…let me show you. It's a used model and very, very simple. You can read books with it."

"I can?"

"Yeah. I mean, you like books. And I told you about that series of books by Patrick O'brian called Master and Commander about the British Navy in the 19th century. You said you might like to read them, but you always forget to bring your reading glasses home and you never have time to go to a use dbookstore. I downloaded the whole series onto the IPad."

Gibbs nodded. "It's awfully nice, but you could've just bought me another pair of reading glasses."

"No, this is much better." McGee snatched it from him. "I taped a set of instructions to the back. Wrote them myself. Super easy to use. You'll love it."

Gibbs nodded slowly as McGee handed it back. "Very nice, Tim…and Tony. Are you sure this wasn't pricey?"

"Ebay, Boss. See the scratches."

Gibbs peered at the scratches etched on the back. "These look awfully fresh."

"Yeah, I wouldn't know anything about that." McGee stepped away from it.

Gibbs looked at both men. "It has been a tough fall. It's important that we remember that even if she isn't with us, she's safe. She wants us to move forward. It's a real nice thing you did here, Tim. I appreciate it. We're going to let this be an exception to the gift's rule."

"Boss, I checked the rules before I…we did it. It isn't written."

"None of the rules are written, McDingbat."

"They're written, Tony. I always write them down."

"Like I said, this is a good thing. I'm going to enjoy it a great deal. Now, you guys need to get out of here and have a good holiday. I hear that Abby has you scheduled the whole time, Tim. That's very sweet."

McGee nodded at Tony. "Wish he was coming."

"I'm getting on a plane to see my dad. Got a problem with that?"

"Holidays shouldn't be spent alone," Gibbs said softly.

"You know my dad. 70 year old playboy. I'm going to spend two days with him. We're going to stay in a swanky hotel, eat over priced food, and drink top shelf booze. He'll undoubtedly hit on every female we come across, and I'll end Christmas wondering where it all went wrong. I couldn't ask for more."

Gibbs studied him as Tony got up and grabbed his coat. "Okay then. See you on the 26th."

"Yeah. See you." Tony trotted to catch the open elevator.

McGee sat back down and Gibbs turned to him. "He'll be fine."

"He drinks too much and he does it alone. Hasn't even looked at another woman in months."

"Give him a little time."

McGee pointed at the elevator. "I just have a feeling he's not going anywhere for Christmas."

"He's in no mood for company."

"I'm worried that he's going to end up like..."

"Like me," Gibbs said with a twinkle in his eye.

"No! I didn't mean that."

"It's okay, Tim. I don't want him turning out like me either."

McGee sighed. "It hasn't been the same since she left."

"How about you? You were close to her too. How are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Just working hard. Give me a problem worth solving and I can forget most everything."

"Nobody's forgetting that you were close to her too."

"You sure about that?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Tony is a little wrapped up in his own sadness right now, but he knows. Come on now. Pack up your things and get out of here."

McGee started stuffing things into his backpack while Gibbs studied the Ipad from different angles. All of a sudden, McGee froze. "Hey Boss! Yesterday, Tony asked you for the key to your cabin. Do you think he's headed up there?"

"Nope. I told him there was no electricity. The fireplace is the only heat."

"Why does he want the key?"

"He's got that conference in West Virginia in January. Said he wanted to stop on the way up and grab a jacket he left. I'm not going up again until March. Fornell and I are going to wire the place. Fornell got through college as an electrician's assistant."

"Okay. Just wondering."

"Leave him alone. He'll be fine."

…..

The DVD never made it into the player. DiNozzo had purchased the box set of David Lynch classics, and he got up to put a disc into the Blu-Ray, but the whole exercise felt so empty that he left it on top of the TV and wandered over to a window.

Outside, he could see a line of lights trailing off into the distance, signaling rush hour on Christmas Eve. Every car was filled with at least one person with a life- someone going home to a family or friends. So many people in this world, and DiNozzo with all of his charm and wit felt connected only to the two men who sat across from him every day.

There would be no Christmas with the old man. Senior was chasing a deal in Dubai. He'd invited Tony to join him, but the plane trip alone would've accounted for most of his time off. Plus, it was hard to deal with Senior when he had his nose to the ground like this. Senior chased money with the same fervor that Tony chased criminals.

He could hook up with McGee and Abby, but McGee was overcompensating these days, and it was just this side of insufferable. McGee was like a little kid running around trying to plug all of the holes without taking into account why the holes were happening in the first place. DiNozzo knew it was his way of coping, but his obsession with making everything normal again was frustrating. Things were never going to be what they were. It was a fact, and the sooner they came to grips with it, the better.

He used to think about the feel of her hand on his face when she told him how loved he was. It had been both the saddest and most beautiful moment he'd ever experienced. But that moment left him angry now. She could've chosen him and she didn't. The truth of it filled him with rage.

His psyche replaced the dream of her with nightmares of busts gone bad and gunfire in the field. He woke most nights in a cold sweat. He knew he was heading for his final days. Wondered how soon it was coming without a sense of dread. The only prayers he said these days had to do with the safety of McGee and Gibbs.

His phone went off again and he crossed the room and shut it off. He knew it was McGee. Wasn't sure if the man had traced his credit cards or what, but it was clear that he knew that Tony wasn't headed for New York. Tony smiled at the dead phone. He couldn't remember the last time he'd shut it down cold. Gibbs put too much pressure on being available for all that, but it felt good that no one from NCIS could touch him for two days.

…

Abby was sitting at a table littered with glitter glue, markers, beads, stickers, paints, posterboard, and other crafts. A group of kids had crowded around her while she encouraged them to let their imaginations go wild. Whenever a creation was finished, she seized it and mounted it on the wall with enthusiasm, taking pictures of it and commenting on its brilliance. Her energy was infectious and the kids were furiously working on creations to top the last one mounted. It was a nice respite for kids facing a holiday without their families.

McGee couldn't make sense of that kind of chaos, and so he worked on decorating the tree with a couple of solemn boys who silently picked out ornaments and pointed out the branch where they belonged. McGee periodically smiled at them, but they said little in return. It was tough being in a strange place without your family. Still, they seemed intent on helping, and McGee imagined that he wouldn't act much different if he was a kid in their situation.

He pulled out his phone as the boys opened another box of bulbs, and tried Tony's number again. Again, it went straight to voicemail. McGee closed his eyes and put the phone back in his pocket. Tony had turned the phone off. That was clear. And he wasn't going to New York. This much McGee knew. He didn't have to hack anything for confirmation either.

It was all in Tony's demeanor. An upcoming visit with Senior required days of processing in the bullpen. There would be stories of good times and bad, but there were always stories to preface a visit from Senior. It was Tony's way of preparing himself for both the excitement and the inevitable disappointment of a DiNozzo reunion, and McGee always endured the unending soliloquy silently. This week, there had been no stories. Hence, Tony was not going to see the old man.

He glanced over at Abby. He'd promised her this holiday. Things had been strained between the two of them since he started dating Delilah. Jealousy. It had always been there- on both sides. What it meant or where it would take them was never clear. As friends, the two of them were intertwined in a way that defied description and he learned to accept it. Where he was headed with Delilah was also unclear, but he just knew that he owed Abby this holiday.

He reached stepped off the ladder for another ornament and found her there smiling. "It's beautiful!"

He stepped back and looked at it. "It is pretty good. What do you think, guys?"

He turned but the two little boys were running to the door at high speed. McGee's brows rose.

"The van is leaving for the YMCA. We lost our audience."

"I see that."

"I've been watching you. You keep looking down at your phone. You really think he didn't go to New York?"

Tim sighed. "It shouldn't bother me. I don't know why it does so much."

"You're worried about him," she said rubbing his arm.

He shook his head. "Actually, I think I'm mad more than anything else. I want him to snap out of it."

"He misses her."

He turned sharply. "I do too! And so do you! I know it's different. I mean, I didn't realize it would be so different until she was gone, and he became unhinged. Then I really got a sense as to how different it was, but, dammit, I miss her too!"

"But you didn't imagine you and Ziva riding off into the sunset together. When he lost her, he lost his future."

He blinked. "I didn't think about it like that."

"What do you think it would be like for me if I lost you?"

He froze. "That's a rhetorical question, right?"

She punched him in the arm. "The truth is that you care about him, Timmy. For all of his teasing and pranks, you love Tony. You don't like to see him hurting."

"I don't know about all that," he mumbled.

"You want to go check on him, don't you?"

He looked up. "Would you mind?"

She shrugged. "I can go to midnight mass on my own."

"I'll be back in the morning. Promise. The ice storm isn't going to stop me."

She nodded. McGee smiled, leaned over, and kissed her on the cheek. "You're the best, Abbs."

…

Tony looked down at the little girl leaning in the doorway. "Can you feed Kate and Ziva for me?"

She cocked her head. "It's short notice."

He looked past her at the decorated tree in her parent's living room. "You're not going anywhere. I just need you to stop once a day for two days. It's like fifty feet from here."

She sighed. "Emergency rates apply because of the holiday."

"Emergency rates! You scheming little…" Tony swallowed. "Entrepeneur!"

She shrugged and started to shut the door. "Good luck finding someone else."

Tony put a hand out to stop the door. "All right! Emergency rates."

She put out a hand. "In advance."

He counted out $40 and put it in her hand. "Remember that they like it when you talk to them."

The little girl rolled her eyes. "I know. I will talk to the fish. By the way, where are you going? Is this going to be like when you went to Israel for a week and disappeared for 4 months?"

Tony looked at the ceiling. "I'm only going to be gone for two days."

"Where?"

"Camping. I'm going camping."

She made a face. "It's too cold out for that."

"At a cabin. I'm going camping at a cabin."

She considered his response for a moment. "That's not really camping, but I'll let it go. See you in two days."

He startled as she slammed the door in his face. As he walked away, he mumbled promises to find other people in the building he could rely on to watch over Kate and Ziva.

….

McGee didn't give up when Tony didn't answer right away. He figured that Tony was ignoring him so he started pounding again. Nothing. He leaned close to the door. "Hey come on, man. I just want to talk to you for a minute. Just want to make sure you're okay."

He waited another minute and pounded again. He stood back and waited.

"He went camping."

The little voice surprised him and he turned to find a little girl with blonde hair staring up at him. "Who are you?"

"I'm babysitting Kate and Ziva."

"Huh?"

"His fish."

"Oh! Really?" His face screwed up. "Where is he?"

She nodded. "At a cabin. He says he's camping, but going to a cabin is not camping. I googled it."

"When did he leave?"

She shrugged. "A couple of hours ago."

He nodded and started off.

"Hey!" She called after him. "Isn't there a reward for my information?"

He stopped and looked at her. "I just spent the day with a bunch of kids who have no home for Christmas. If I have money to give away, guess who's getting it?"

She stared at him, mouth open while he headed for the elevator.

…..

McGee sat in his car and stared at the horizon. It was late in the afternoon and darkness was descending. The temperature had dropped into the mid 30's, and rain was starting to fall. He watched the big drops as they landed on his windshield. Two degrees lower and those raindrops were going to drop as ice pellets. Driving was going to be a nightmare. Gibbs' cabin was two hours northwest and so Tony was undoubtedly sitting down, staring into a fire by now feeling sorry for himself. The man had chosen loneliness for the holiday and there was nothing McGee could do about it.

He stared at the steering wheel for a long moment. If he left now, he'd have time to take Abby to dinner before mass. Still, he didn't move. Tony was an idiot when it came to anything rustic. He probably didn't know how to light a decent fire. He was probably only using matches and paper- maybe even wet wood. It was going to be a disaster. And then there was food. Knowing Tony, he probably only picked up a couple of takeout pizzas.

McGee slapped the steering wheel in anger. Again, this was another example of DiNozzo thinking only of himself. He probably forgot how they'd worked a case last year late into Christmas Eve, and how he and Tony and Ziva had ended up at a Japanese restaurant at midnight drinking sake and eating sushi. The three of them had talked into the wee hours of the morning, crashing on Ziva's living room furniture. They'd woken to Ziva grilling lamb and pitas for a brunch. Sometimes, his heart ached when he thought of her. There were so few people he was close to, and she had been such a good friend. She'd always loved him despite his geekiness and obsession with routine, and that had always meant so much to him.

Finally he looked up. It would probably be hours before the rain turned to sleet and snow. If he left now, he'd have just enough time to stop and get decent groceries and firewood. Tony would be annoyed, but he'd get over it. The man craved social contact. Besides, he would be a captive audience and McGee would finally get a chance to really talk to him.

…..

Tony held up his highball glass to the light. The whiskey was as clear as crystal. He smiled and sipped it slowly, letting it sit in his mouth for a long moment before swallowing. He put down the glass and sighed. At the other end of the bar he caught her eye again. She was a brunette, long and leggy, drinking a white wine. Her dress was green and low cut, and her hair was thick and wavy. Tony had no illusions. A woman that beautiful was rarely alone on Christmas Eve, but it was the way she studied him that told him she was a working girl. Still, it was the season of giving, and so he leaned toward the bartender and asked him to send her a white wine.

She nodded at him, but took her time before she headed his direction. One of the perks of staying at an expensive place like the Adams House was that the few call girls that used it were high class, and he smiled as she glided toward him in the tight dress and 5 inch heels. She put her wine and an expensive pocketbook on the bar and sat down.

He extended a hand. "Tony DiNozzo."

She nodded. "Desiree."

"On your own tonight?"

She shrugged. "Not anymore. You in town on business?"

"No," he said fingering his glass. "I'm camping."

She raised an eyebrow. "Come again."

He sighed. "I was headed up near West Virginia. A little cabin. But it was…ill-conceived. Bad weather. The wrong clothes. Dumb idea. Ended up here. The management knows my father. Found a nice suite for the next couple of days. Still, I'm sticking to the concept of camping."

"Couldn't stand an empty house," she said as she sipped on her wine.

"Something like that."

"Well, I guess this is my lucky day then."

Tony snorted. "Maybe, maybe not. I'm a federal agent. The best you're going to get out of me is a nice dinner."

"You think you know what I want?" she said without a hint of outrage.

"I study people for a living."

"Me too."

"Okay. What do you see?"

She smiled. "I see a guy who's hungry for a Porterhouse steak and some easy conversation."

He slapped his credit card on the bar and turned to her. "Desiree, where have you been all my life?"

….

McGee kicked at the titanium lock again. It was a gesture born out of frustration rather than actual utility. That lock wasn't going to yield and he had nothing in his car that was going to force it. The man refused to lock his front door, but he made sure his cabin was closed up tighter than Fort Knox.

It was only one of many disappointments. DiNozzo wasn't at the cabin. McGee could've kicked himself for not tracking Tony's car with GPS before making the dangerous trek up the mountain.

The two hour drive turned into a three and a half white knuckle odyssey once he'd gotten on the narrow mountain roads up to the cabin and now it was midnight. The temperature plummeted as he climbed in elevation. The roads were slick with ice and lights were few and far between. He'd thought about turning around many times, but he was sure he'd get up there and find his partner sitting in the cabin.

An hour earlier, the sleet had turned to snow and the wind was driving it sideways, pelting his face as he considered his options. It had never dawned on him that he'd have no way to get into Gibbs' cabin once he got there. The forecast on the way up said the storm was going to stick with them for another 24 hours. He was down to half a tank of gas so waiting out the storm in his car wasn't feasible.

He got back into his car and took a deep breath. If he drove slow, he could probably make to the main road in a hour. There was an inn and gas station another 10 miles south. Hell, he could sit in the lobby until the storm passed if they didn't have any rooms.

The headlights were on bright and he took the corners slow, but it didn't stop the car from sliding at every turn. The driving snow was thick and he could only see a few feet ahead of him at any time. He gripped the wheel and muttered curses under his breath like a mantra.

It was only a couple of miles down from Gibbs' cabin that conditions decided his fate. Driving on ice works as long as you don't create friction. Any sudden or sharp turn, and your car will choose its path home. By the time he spotted the tree through the heavy snow, he was almost on top. He turned the wheel hard and spun away from the tree, but the car kept spinning. Trying to right himself caused enough friction to propel the car around leaving McGee as merely a passenger to his fate. He saw the steep drop only a second before the car sailed over it.

….