THE HOUSE COMM AT THE SOLOS

A frustrated caller would hear this:

(L) "You've reached the Solo residence."

(H) "Your lucky day."

(L) "We're not able to take your comm right now - "

(H) What we mean is that we don't care what you have to say - "

(L) "Pay no attention to him."

(H) "She doesn't."

(L) "Will you shut up already? Please leave your name, your comm code - "

(H) "If you're a holomarketer or media freak, don't bother - "

(L) "You're hopeless! If you wish to reach Leia, press 1. If you wish to reach Han, press 2 - "

(H) "I've never been second! No fair!"

(L) "If you wish to reach Jaina, press 3. If you wish to reach Jacen, press 4. If you wish to reach Anakin, press 5, and if you wish to reach Jarik, which I don't know why you would seeing as he's only two years old, press 6."

(H) "If you're a creditor or journalist, hang up. Now would be good."

(L) "If you're the principal of one of our children's schools, we know we're late, we're sorry, we'll get there as soon as possible."

(H) "If you're looking for Lando Calrissian, you have definitely got the wrong comm. If you are Lando Calrissian, the same applies."

(L) "If you're looking for Chewbacca, press 7."

(H) "He insisted on his own comm port."

(L) "If you wish to speak to C3PO, he's fluent in over six million forms of communication and you can find him another way."

(H) "If you're calling to report a sabacc tournament, press 8."

(L) "You already have your own port!"

(H) "If you're calling Leia for any work related reason, hang up. That means you, Mon Mothma."

(L) "Han! She's my boss!"

(H) "My point exactly!"

(L) "If you haven't hung up in complete frustration, please leave a message indicating who you are, when you called, and what you want. We'll get back to you as soon as possible."

(H) "If we feel like it. And we usually don't."

(L) "Ignore him! And have a nice day!"