I do not own the characters.

This story is written up to chapter 12, Edited up to chapter 5 and awaiting a beta reader. I apologize, all other ongoing stories are on hiatus at the moment.

This chapter has been updated and edited by Blackrose414 and Beta/edited by Kukasabe Swift. Thank you guys very much for your help and support.

The mist surrounds me as I rise from the park bench. My head is pounding. Over and over again it sends waves of pain through me.

I'm here again. So be it.

"Who's there!?" I yell, grabbing my head in pain as my own voice echoes through my ears, effectively escalating my headache.

So here I am, calling out the same pathetic line for what seems like the hundredth time this month. No one will answer me and eventually I'll give up on asking again. I glance towards a silhouette but the figure is just a shadow, nothing more, or at least that's what I tell myself. It's just a dark silhouette that stares at me from the alleyway, no- stares into my soul, unmoving, and completely silent. No matter how many times I tell myself that it isn't there, it is. I can feel it's stare. It's reading all of my weaknesses.

The haunting form will hang around for a little while before eventually blending into the darkness, until I can no longer tell if it's physically there or not. Though, I will still feel the terror that comes from its gaze.

I want to hide. I want to crawl away from this fucking scene.

I'm so tired...

I can't really see anything anymore, the fog is getting thicker.

Curse this dream, this insanity.

I take a step forward, my hands trembling. I'm absolutely terrified but my smirk remains the same.

I am trapped in this darkness again, following the same routine. I've been here so many times. I know exactly what is happening and yet the fear, the tensing of my quivering muscles, the pain in my head and the nausea in the pit of my stomach, has never faded. Not once.

Huh?

Is there something there?

A light in the distance captures my attention momentarily. The brightness stings my eyes as my shaking legs carry me toward it.

Well, this is certainly new.

As I get closer the light splits into two beaming suns akin to headlights, stinging my eyes and even my mind, reminding me of the pain in my head.

I kneel before a table where two candles are lit on either side. It must be an altar of some kind.

The table is completely over grown, vines with roses swirling around all but the fire itself.

My hands hold a ceramic bowl filled with water that I eventually place on the altar. I look down into the bowl and see my reflection. My eyes are closed and my lips are curved at the ends with a small genuine smile.

It's disgusting.

The water must have held a similar thought because it immediately turned black and the plants began to die, withering into nothing but thorns and twigs.

I try with all my might to move from the spot that I'm in but I can't. I can't control this dream; no matter how many times I have tried. I can't seem to take control of this. I can't remove myself from this altar. I can't even change this awful smile on my face.

In no way will you ever find me kneeling before anything relating to a god. Not unless it granted me eternal life, of course. Not unless it could prove with certain fact that it exists and can be of benefit to me.

But no, the only things these dreams have brought me are headaches and sleepless nights.

Yet, here I am, kneeling before an altar.

Huh?

What's that noise?

It's that song again.

I hear a muffled melody that seems to be getting louder.

I'm...

...humming?

The grin on my face fades as my lips open wide enough for a low whisper to escape, matching the tune of the song.

"I... down... a dream"

And just as quickly as I arrived, I'm ripped out of my slumber, an ache forming in my back from my position on the couch. I used to think it was a comfortable couch but recently I'm not so sure.

I'm so exhausted that I can't even sit down to review some information without closing my eyes.

And every time I wake, I pray to fall back asleep.

Real sleep.

The kind that makes you feel rested. The kind of sleep that is dark, black, and without dreams.

A month.

I've been having these dreams for a month now and it feels like I haven't slept in just as long. Though, in all honesty, I've probably been sleeping the entire time.

A peek over to the clock tells me that it's 4:18 in the afternoon.

Another day wasted by sleeping. Eating, failed research, and sleeping. This is my life now.

Shifting uncomfortably, I grab the nearest piece of paper and scribble down the newest details of my dream, but I'm interrupted.

Bang… Bang… Bang…

Ah, the door.

I will myself to my feet, staggering and limping along the way as I attempt to stretch my aching muscles. My lack of motivation is certainly effecting my life in all the worst ways because I don't check who is there. I simply unlock the door and make my way back to the leather sofa, my chin supported by the arm rest.

The first to step in is Shinra, someone I expected to see sooner or later, since I haven't been around Ikebukuro.

A roll of my eyes expresses just how happy I am to see him. I'll be honest, the thought has crossed my mind to see him and have him treat me, but he isn't that type of doctor. He's an underground surgeon, more or less. I'm not even sure how much of the mind he truly understands. He isn't stupid, I don't mean that, but he has never specialized in sleep or neurological disorders, if that's even what you would call it. Honestly, even if he could help me, I'd rather not have anyone know that one of Ikebukuro's strongest has a weakness...

And that weakness is something akin to bad dreams.

The second person to step in to the room startles me a bit and certainly put me on my guard.

Why the hell is he here?

I narrow my eyes at the blonde bodyguard who stands in the background with a scowl as he stares at the floor.

Pfffft. Don't tell me he's worried about me!? Haha. How silly.

And just as I was about to tease the monster, Shinra spoke to me in a concerned tone that brought me back down from my potential trolling high.

"What have you been doing?"

His eyes wander the room, realizing exactly what I have been doing...

...Making a mess of my life.

Paper is strewn about on the couch, on the floor, on the table, and everywhere else. Coffee cups and sleeping pills in random places. My pillow on the couch, my body lying across it.

"Are you... on a big case? Is it some rough information you're digging for Shiki-san? But I heard you haven't had any clients."

You're damn right, I haven't had any clients! I haven't even…

"Yes, it's rough alright! But, I'm actually in the middle of something really important right now. So, if you and your pet are done here then I'm actually going to need you to be on your way."

Shinra stares in my direction with an odd expression. It's not hard to figure out that he knows I'm lying. I don't care as long as he collects that man and himself and leaves my presence. I'm in dire need of sleep even if I have just woken up.

"Why is that stupid brute here, anyway?" I tilt my head a bit to see Shizuo behind Shinra and as soon as my eyes lay on him, it hits me.

Ah! What a perfect plan! Why didn't I think of it before!? I can just get him to knock me out!

"Can't wait for me to kill you?" I spit and his eyebrow twitches as he turns toward me.

It's working!

Yet he doesn't even budge.

"Well, it's either that or you miss me. Is Ikebukuro lonely without me?" I try to smirk as usual but my mouth falls into an unnatural frown. I grit my teeth as I fan off the very familiar irritation.

Shizuo just stands, his gaze locked on the floor as he exhales the smoke from his cigarette in to the pure air of my apartment.

C'mon damn it! Hit me! It's the only way!

I can't even think properly, I can't even provoke him the way I usually do. He must know something is off with me... but I couldn't care less.

I'm desperate.

Please Shizuo! You're not good for anything else. You're a waste of air. Just do me one good favor and knock me into that sweet, deep sleep.

I would do anything for sleep. Anything.

And so I choose to lunge from the couch towards him. Before I can cross enough space to reach him, I am reminded that I have done absolutely nothing but try to sleep for almost a month. I fall to the floor as Shizuo pushes his blue shades up his nose and takes yet another drag of his cigarette.

He's mocking me.

The one time I need him to lash out at me, he won't. What is this?

Oh, the irony.

Pulling myself up from the floor, I reach into my pocket, whip out my knife, and run at him once again. My knife successfully pierces his skin and his bleeding arm catches me as my body clumsily crashes into his. His eyes stare into mine, trying to read me and before I know it, I'm plunged into darkness.

The dark is calming.

I feel weightless, and absolutely free from the insanity that has been plaguing me.

The tune of a song is carrying me through the wind. The source of this sound inching closer and closer until it is the only thing I hear.

Floating, this darkness takes me away.

I am blank.

I am nothing.

Wait, something is wrong here.

My name?

What was my name?

Wasn't I somebody?

This sound, something so familiar.

Where-?

"I lay my..."

Wait...

"Silence down..."

No.

"In a dream..."

NO!

"Something ... or so"

Not this! Anything but this!

"…old seem."

Shooting straight up from the bed and screaming at the top of my lungs, I awake. A familiar pounding wracks my head as the light hovering above me blinds my vision. Sweat has formed between the lines on my forehead and my hair feels matted to my face.

My throat is burning. I think I'm still screaming but that haunting song is still the only thing I can hear.

That and the pounding of my heart.

I can feel someone's presence but it doesn't make a difference. The soft touch of a hand that tries to console me only aggravates the situation.

I am Orihara Izaya, the one that no one would want to comfort.

Leave me alone!

Just stop it!

Just stop the sound! I can't rid myself of this nightmare!

The flashes of white and the dark of my nightmare cycling rapidly create a strobe lighting effect that causes me to grab my head as if holding it still would change anything. Waves of pain shoot into my brain and now randomly into my limbs.

Just stop the sound.

Please.

Chanting a soft prayer, I focus all of the energy I can muster into one thing, the one thing that I couldn't break my attention from even if I gouged out my eyes; The song. Stopping the song.

This sound, it just won't stop!

Just stop it.

Please...

Please...

Please, kill the sound.

And just as I am about to give up, the sight of red and sudden pressure all over my body temporarily steals my attention. The horrid tune breaks only for a second, just long enough to hear the deep, drumming pace of my heart...

...and someone's words.

"Damnit Izaya!"

And for the first time in 36 days, I remember what sleep is like.

The real kind.