Warning: Contains references to self harm.

I don't own Harry Potter.

Dedicated to one of my amazing friends, who never ceases to amaze me with her enthusiasm and positivity.

Imperfect Perfection

I buried my face in my hands, trying to come to grips with the sudden realisation. I was never meant to fall for him. It just couldn't happen. Never had I considered that it would be my heart that betrayed me. Leaning back against the chair I let my head loll back and hit the top of the seat with a satisfying 'thud'.

I could practically feel the weight of Lily Luna Potter's emerald gaze upon me. I refused to look at her, knowing my reaction would have been enough to confirm her question.
Lily was the one of the only two people who had known about our totally fake relationship, in fact the whole 'get-a-boyfriend-that-no-one-will-approve-of' had been her idea in the first place. If only I had paused to think through the idea before I let the satisfied smirk cross my face, and blurted out my thought to Lily. Who better than the very person that I had been forced to hate since my first day at Hogwarts? Who would my perfect family disapprove of more than Scorpius Malfoy himself?

From the moment I was born I had been the perfect child. The golden daughter. According to my family members I had smiled my first smile at the first press photo shoot. I had never misbehaved, was never anything but polite, engaging and charming. I was not prone to sudden temper tantrums like Victoire had been. I did not flirt with everyone as Dom did. I wasn't a complete prude like Molly. I didn't pull pranks like Freddie. I wasn't arrogant like Louis, pigheaded like Lily or a total tomboy like Roxy. I never missed a family event like Lucy or rebelled against authority like James. I wasn't shy like Hugo or a Slytherin like Albus. I was perfect. Everything that was expected of the daughter of Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. I was top of my class, funny, brave, friendly. I played seeker on the Gryffindor team, I was house prefect, popular and brilliant. I hated it more than I once thought I hated Scorpius Malfoy.

My problem was that I didn't want to be perfect. I wasn't perfect, I was decidedly imperfect, if only everyone else would realise that! I wanted to be Rose. Not Rose Weasley daughter of heroes, but Rose, just Rose. It wasn't that I didn't love my family. I did; most of the time. It was the fact that nobody understood that I was not my Mother, I wasn't my Father and I sure as hell was not my Uncle Harry. I didn't want people to like me because of my last name; I didn't want to be defined by my last name.

During my first fifteen years of life I had put up with the role of being the world's Golden Girl. I had worked myself into the ground to be top of the class so I didn't disappoint my Mother. I flew everyday so I would make the Quidditch Team as my father expected. I kept up the charade of a happy, likable little doll for fifteen years. I had inherited all the best physical qualities from both my parents. With my auburn hair and wide blue eyes, reasonably tall and lithe body, even, straight teeth and a milky complexion, slim but curved figure even my looks were bloody perfect! For two years I had dated family friend Lorcan Scamander, the media loved us. We were everyone's favourite couple, which was why I told nobody but Lily that Lorcan was cheating on me with none other than my cousin, Dominique Weasley. I smiled as Alice Longbottom, my-bestest-friend-besides-Al-since-I-was-born, walked all over me. Laughed as my now ex-best friend, revealed why she had hung around with me when she told me that since she was now going out with Albus Potter she didn't need nor want to be my friend anymore. Never mind how close our parents were, never mind that we had been best friends for nearly 16 years. No she wasn't happy with being the daughter of a War hero she wanted to be best friends with the daughter of the war heroes and get the Saviour of the Wizarding World's son into the palm of her hand, and probably her bed, too. And adding to the number of imperfections in the life of the perfect Rose Weasley, were the ever increasing number of scars that lined my little brother's arms that my parents pretended not to see.

Then during my sixth year I got tired of it all, I confided in Lily, who helped me get through most of the year. However in the last week of school after I came of age, I broke up with Lorcan. I walked right into the broom closet where I knew him and Dom were and said straight out that I wasn't pretending anymore and ended it. The cheating bastard came sniveling back after a few days when the resident Ice Queen got sick of him too. I knew she would, without the kick she got out of messing with me, Dominique had nothing to stay for. I stopped hanging out with my so called 'friends' and went to my Quidditch Captain and told him that I was dropping out of the team next year.

That summer I spoke with Hugo and Lily, I was of age. Technically I could move out and take them with me, but I didn't have enough money alone and neither of them could access their savings until they turned 17. We managed to convince Albus that he desperately wanted to leave home, and between the two of us we managed to buy a two bedroom flat. By the time our parents got wind of it all the arrangements were made, the furniture was bought and we were ready to move in. The press had a field day and our family had a melt down. I wanted to tell them the real reason why we had done it, but I chickened out at the last minute, choosing to say that Al and I were trying our hand at the real world. We were being independent, responsible adults. They bought it, they had no reason not to, it came from their perfect little princess why wouldn't it be true?

I got a summer job at Flourish and Blotts, Lily helped out at the boutique only a few doors down, Hugo did a few hours a day at Florean Fortescue's Ice-cream parlour and Albus helped Uncle Percy at the Ministry. Something that he regretted almost as soon as he agreed to it, but we needed the money. Not a lot had changed, but my outlook on life had. Slowly over that summer I began stripping the layers of myself back, I didn't contact any of 'friends' I had at school, I stopped trying to please everyone else and began thinking about my own future, my own happiness.

Eventually my parents caught on and we had our first ever family row, my Father was furious that I had dropped out of the Quidditch team, my Mother disappointed in my marks for the end of year tests that I hadn't bothered to study for. When they found out that I had broken up with Lorcan they became even more enraged, and suddenly it became all about them, it had always been all about them I realised. That had to keep up their image, and by keeping up my perfect golden girl act I had been keeping their status as two members of the Golden Trio from becoming old news. When the letter came bearing the shiny Head Girl badge I had planned to send it straight back with my apologies to Professor McGonagall, unfortunately my Mother got hold of it and suddenly all was forgiven. The story was put out that I was concentrating on my future and that was why I had decided to drop Quidditch. While house spirit was important to me, I wanted to devote my time to my studies and the responsibility of being a head student. The reason I had broken up with Lorcan was that after all this time we had both decided we were better off as friends, as neither of us had time for a relationship. Suddenly all my careful planning was thwarted, I was the Golden Girl again.

Still my resolution to change that was underway, I had made the first step, distancing myself from my parents. In their eyes all that drama was a tiny bump in the road, to me it was the beginning. It was during the second week back to school of my seventh year that Lily came up with the idea. And when I gave the name to the boy who would be my fake boyfriend we agreed that this was going to be perfect. We discussed it at length, exactly what would be required of us to make it both convincing and scandalous. The first thing Lily said was lots of PDA, perhaps letting ourselves be caught out of bed or in a broom closet, snogging in between classes, sitting together at meals and more open snogging. We agreed that the first thing we needed to do was get Albus on our side, him and Scorpius were good friends. In the mean time I began to let go of my perfect image, I didn't resist what Lily affectionately named 'my Weasley urges'. I didn't reign in my temper or compromise easily. I stopped letting people walk all over me. I acted like me.

When I was eleven, young and innocent, I still worshipped my parents in the way most children do. So when my Daddy told me to beat Scorpius Malfoy in every test, I did. I was hostile towards him from day one, but he never returned that. Sure he always had a snarky sarcastic reply ready and took no crap from anyone, but he never started a fight, not with me or any of the Weasley/Potters. About half way through my second year I realised this and so I stopped antagonizing him I stopped going out of my way to dislike him and actually paid attention to him, rather than what everyone said about him. And in doing so I had realised that like me, he had a persona, he had what everyone expected him to be and then what he was. The difference between us being, that while I channeled every piece of energy and emotion I had into hiding who I actually was in favour of being what was expected, Scorpius, just...didn't.

In fact it was in my observations of him that I became aware of my own behaviour in that respect. I went from disliking Scorpius Malfoy out of priority to admiring the way he refused to be anything but himself. I respected that more and more as I got older, he didn't care what people said, because he knew it wasn't true. I overheard Al telling my parents that he wasn't like everyone said he was during the summer after my first year at Hogwarts. They had given him a condescending smile and changed the subject.

After that Scorpius Malfoy and I had an unusual relationship, we didn't speak much more than a few words to each other each year, and even then that was greatly due to his friendship with Al. I think most of our 'relationship' was probably one sided, but I couldn't help but feel some sort of connection with the blonde boy. We were the top of every class and had I been still worshipping my father this might have bothered me, since I was supposed to be beating him in everything. I don't know if I imagined it, but somehow a little game started between us, it was never discussed, in fact it was probably a invention of my imagination. We were always the last in the library at night and while we were studying for our O.W.L's I always tried to outlast him. And I got the feeling the Slytherin in question was doing the same to me. I woke up once in the library having fallen asleep in my endeavor to stay longer than him, my books had been packed into my bag and my cloak wrapped around my shoulders. A note sat on the table, it read, "I didn't want to move or wake you. Enjoy your sleep, you deserve it." The note wasn't signed but I knew who it was from.

Perhaps that was why I felt unreasonably excited about the opportunity to get to know the mysterious boy I already felt so close to.

Once Lily had convinced Al that what we were doing was a great idea, that boy was a total push-over when it came to his little sister, we got Scorpius in on it. To both mine and Lily's surprise we didn't have to work that hard to convince him. He said that it would prove a point to his family as much as it would prove a point to mine. He did have a few conditions, he wanted us to try and be friends or at least get to know each other and like in a real relationship we were committed. I agreed to these terms whole heartedly and so it began. Albus and Lily Potter were the only ones who knew the truth.

I found that most of my observations about Scorpius were true. I found that as I suspected we immediately became friends, and it made the relationship all the easier. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. I could be Rose with him, he had no expectations, just as I had none of him. I discovered his wicked sense of humour, that his sarcasm and snarkiness weren't all a defense mechanism. He was snarky with people he disliked and sarcastic with everyone. I welcomed it, not many of my 'friends' recognised or appreciated sarcasm. As we grew closer I realised just how differently people treated us, while people always seemed to like me or at least pretended to like me out of social expectation, the opposite was true for him. People hated him and they didn't even know him, if they did know him half as well as they thought they did they wouldn't be able to hate him. He fessed up to the fact that when he agreed to the whole fake-dating thing, he hoped that people would see that maybe just maybe he wasn't his granfather. Maybe his father had realsied the mistakes he made and raised his son to believe that although Malfoy was a great name it was not because of the pure linage that it was superior. Scorpius had quickly realised that not everyone agreed that Malfoy was a respectable name. He had hoped that perhaps dating Rose Weasley would make people look past his last name. In essence he was doing the exact same thing that I was.

Scorpius was more than a Malfoy, just like I was more than a Weasley. We were people we couldn't be forced into a box. He was smart and caring, he listened to me rant about silly things without complaint, put up with Al's lame jokes and didn't let other people define him. He easily became my best friend, we were practically inseparable, apart from Lily and Albus I had never been this close to anyone before. I had never let myself get this close to anyone for a long time, because all who did, stabbed me in the back.

The school 'found out' that Scorpius and I were dating through an elaborate show directed by the evil mastermind Lily Luna Potter. We strategically placed ourselves in a broom closet infamous for it's long held title as one of the 'the' spots to snog. As so every prefect checked it on every round. Albus, who had inherited his father's cloak when James graduated, leant it to Lily who would follow behind however was patrolling and when they neared us, tap on the door quietly. When she did, I shared a slightly nervous smile with Scorpius before we latched together at the mouth, we wasted no time in messing up each other's hair, and loosening clothing. As caught up as I was in removing Scorpius' tie I could not help but notice just how amazing at snogging my new friend was. When the door of the broom closet opened, both of us fell out as Scorpius, at Lily's insistence had had me pinned up against the door. Lily had chosen the night well, Adele Gibbons, notorious gossip was one of the prefects who found us. She and her rounds partner were so surprised that we didn't even get punished! I played the part of a embarrassed and terrified girl rather well, begging them not to tell anyone. The rest of the school knew by breakfast.

We strutted about the castle together, sometimes hand and hand or with his arm casually around my shoulders. We would snog each other publicly at least once a day, never for longer than necessary. I should have realised when I begun to focus on more than just my glee at showing how imperfect I was, walking around with Scorpius Malfoy of all people and partaking in some good old PDA. When I begun to notice just how breathtaking his rare smiles were, how darn sexy those smirks were, how his eyes that I could easily get lost in, lit up when he was happy. I should have realised then, but I didn't.

It was Lily who played the troubled best friend. She owled the Ice Queen herself, asking advice on what to do about the scandalous things I was getting up to with only Al, Hugo and herself left at Hogwarts with me. Dominique immediately replied asking for details. When I received a Howler the morning after Lily replied, I knew that Dom had fallen for it. The press went beserk, it really was quite hilarious just how blown out of proportion everything was. Scorpius and I got a laugh out of it at least. Nobody in my family could understand it, they blamed it on a rebellious stage, laughing it off when interviewed saying they really didn't think it would last. That was when Alice Longbottom made a reappearance in my rollercoaster ride. In an exclusive interview she confided that I'd always been a bit of a skank, and that was the real reason Lorcan broke up with me. I guess she blamed me that Al found out about the manipulative little cow that was hidden beneath the sweet exterior. As angry as I was that now everyone believed I was as slutty as her, I couldn't deny that it certainly didn't help the image of Rose Weasley.

When the Christmas holidays rolled around Scorpius and told me that his parents wanted to meet me, I didn't clue in, not even when Lily found me bawling my eyes out because I didn't have any clothes to wear. With enough prodding I finally confided that I was terrified they'd hate me because of everything the news said and because of the Weasley that tagged onto Rose. My fears were unsound, although Mr Malfoy expressed the irony he felt at our relationship, he said it was because of the mutual disliking between himself and my father during their schooling. The names Weasley and Malfoy were not mentioned. Mrs Malfoy welcomed me with open arms, she was a lot like Scorpius in personality, listened more than she spoke and seemed to have infinite patience. The sarcasm he had clearly picked up from his father. Beneath both of his parent's happy smiles I could see the hard lines etched into their faces, neither the war nor the aftermath of it had been easy on them.

I asked my Mother if I could bring Scorpius to our Weasley family get together at the Burrow the day before we younger ones returned to school. She had looked at me, really looked at me for the first time in years and said something that shocked me. "Merlin, I'm a terrible Mother."

She had sat down next to me and apologized, she said she knew that it was hard being their daughter and that it must seem like everyone had expectations, she said that no matter what though she was my Mother first and Hermione Granger second. She said that no matter what I did she would still love me, she said that as I grew older she became prouder and prouder of both her children. She said that if it made me happy she was with me 100%. I hadn't replied, but when she stood to go I raised my eyes.

"Perhaps you should tell Hugo that and stop pretending you can't see the scars."

I had apparated away before she could question me.

I brought Scorpius along, figuring that although she hadn't said yes, I didn't really give a damn. We only stayed for half and hour during which Dom tried to convince him to cheat on me, my aunts and uncles tried, with varying degrees of success to not let their disapproval show, James and Freddie sent tripping jinxes at him every chance they got and Louis informed me that he was sure I could do much better. Surprisingly enough Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry were very warm towards him considering whose son he was. Lily said it was probably because they had met him before and drawn their own conclusions about my best friend. Auntie Fleur was also kind to him, she said that she knew how it felt to come into this family with a less than warm welcome. Victoire and Teddy managed to get me alone long enough to say that they were on my side always, no matter what. Victoire had exploded at James and Freddie on my behalf after they sent Scorpius tumbling to the ground for the third time. My Mother tried her hardest to be polite and welcoming for my benefit, but I could see that her smile was strained. Father wasn't there.

Scorpius, surprisingly enough, hadn't run for the hills after that encounter. He said that I was worth sticking around for. Even though I knew he was joking I couldn't explain the somersault my stomach did. I didn't even realise when I began to look forward to the kisses, when I'd sit on his lap even if I probably didn't have to. When he was around I was happy, I didn't even realise when my heart insisted on speeding up when he smiled at me.

It wasn't until just then that I realised I had gone and screwed up big time. My fake realationship? And now my not so fake feelings? Disaster.

I raised my head and opened my eyes to meet Lily's stare,

"What have I done Lily?" I whispered.

"You've fallen for him Rosie-Posie."

"I'm such an idiot!" I moaned.

A wide smile spread across her face,
"I knew you would," she giggled.

"You knew I was going to fall in love with Scorpius bloody Malfoy and you let me go ahead with it!" I practically screamed at her.

"That's not important," she said dismissively, "Albus owes me five galleons!"

I snorted,
"Yes that's way more important Lily!"

"He didn't think you'd realise until after Easter!" She said gleefully.

"You beat on when I'd realise I was in love with him!" My voice rose an octave.

"Of course," Lily said shrugging as if there was nothing wrong with that. Some cousin she is!

"You're unbelievable-" I began only to be cut off by her wild hand gestures.

"That doesn't matter," she repeated, "You have to go and tell Scorpius!"

I blanched, was she insane?

"Why in all of Hades would I do that?" I demanded.

Lily took hold of my arm and dragged me towards the portrait hole that was the exit of the Head's Common Room.

"Because then you can be together for real and have completely adorable babies!" she squealed.

"Woah! Hold up there sister!" I dug my heels in refusing to budge, "he probably doesn't feel the same way! And who said anything about babies!"

Lily scowled at me impatiently,
"You only go out with guys who you can have cute babies with, duh!" She looked at me like I'd been dropped too many times when I was baby.

"Sorry I obviously didn't read the Girl Handbook very closely," I glared back at her.

"No you obviously didn't!" she retorted, "and of course Scorpius loves you! It's completely obvious!"

"I-it is?" I stammered my anger gone as quickly as it had come.

Lily actually stomped her foot in frustration as she rolled her eyes,
"Of course it is! You should see the way he looks at you!"

"The way who looks at you?" Al asked as he entered the Head's room, Scorpius following behind him.

Scorpius' face lit up as he saw me, giving me a small smile. I smiled back trying to control the Weasley blush that immediately covered my cheeks. He hardly ever smiled, only at me or Al and sometimes at Lily. And this smile was different from the one's he gave them, this one was somewhat shy, he never gave anyone else that smile. Maybe Lily was right...she normally was. Speaking if the redhead minx she was currently dragging her brother out of the room, her hand firmly over his mouth.

"Hi," Scorpius said softly.

I stared at him, the beautiful grey eyes that were lit up at the moment but could become cold as steel in an instant. The blonde hair that was slightly rumpled, the way he held himself with confidence but not arrogance. And that smile, the one he reserved just for me. Suddenly I felt immensely guilty, I could not meet his gaze, which was quickly changing to one of confusion. Hating myself for my weakness I turned away so that my back was to him.

"I'm sorry Scorpius," I said quietly, "I think we need to end this fake-relationship."

I refused to look at him waiting for him to say something. Anything. I felt him take my shoulder and gently turn me to face him. His expression was blank, but his eyes were lit with fire.

"Why?"

One word, yet I could hear all the emotion in it, I had to blink several times to stop tears from gathering in my eyes. I couldn't continue to meet those beautiful eyes, I just couldn't.

"Because it wouldn't be fair to you," I said to his shoes, "I'm sorry Scorpius."

My voice hitched just slightly on the last syllable of his name. I would not cry. I would not cry. I would not cry. A tear spilled over my eyelid. Why in Merlin's name was I crying? I hadn't even bloody cried when I found out Lorcan was cheating on me!

A soft hand lifted my chin so I was forced to look him in the eye. His expression was one of such pain and longing that it took me a second to interpret. His gaze so strong that my throat constricted. His jaw tightened as he scanned my face, before he spoke, breathed so quietly that I wondered if I had misheard,

"What if I don't want it to end?"

The question hung in the air for a second before I was flinging my arms around him as the meaning of what he said sunk in. I pulled his head down to mine and our lips crashed together in a searing kiss that had my pulse quicken, until my heart beat was hammering in my ears. It was the first real kiss we had shared, with no audience, it was passionate, it meant something, unlike all the others.

"I love you," I gasped out, as we broke apart for air.

He smiled that gorgeous smile, and pulled me in for another kiss, this was sweeter, less urgent.

"I love you too Rose," he breathed in my ear, "my Beautiful Imperfect Perfection."

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