I got a request from Koryandrs and I've wanted to do this for a while now (I say that a lot, don't I?), so here ya go. New things to enjoy.

Sorry I haven't updated anything, it was christmas, my birthday and I got dragged to London for a day to the shard. I got a starbucks out of it. Mmm mm, Peppermint hot chocolate.

Human AU~

Early bird

It was the best bagel in the pack.

Perfectly round, smooth, with a clean cut right through the middle. No random chunks were missing, and the colour was simply divine.

And Prowl had his eye on it. Every morning he would wake up, take a bagel out of the packet and toast it before slathering cream cheese on the top of each half and enjoying it while Jazz was still struggling to keep his eyes open for five seconds. He was getting closer and closer to that perfect bagel that sat right at the bottom.

But today was different. He woke up just like usual – at half five due to his alarm – and quickly pulled on a t-shirt to stay appropriate before walking into the kitchen, taking care to not slide on the wooden floor with his socks.

Only to find, much to his horror, that the last bagel in the packet wasn't there. He found the plastic packaging in the bin, and an unopened packet in the bread bin. The first did look good but it just wasn't the same. Where was his bagel?!

He heard a loud crunch behind him, and turned around to see a very smug looking Jazz sitting perched up on the side with a plate of toasted bagel.

His.

Bagel.

Jazz was eating. His. Bagel.

At Prowls shocked and betrayed expression, Jazz grinned and smacked his lips, making a big show of eating the perfect bagel. "Mmmm mm, Prowler. Can see why ya were savin' this one!"

"That's my bag- I – why are you even up this early?" Prowl stuttered, not quite sure what he wanted to say. Indignation at something he'd staked claim on being eaten by the fiend on the counter was quickly forgotten when Prowl realized that Jazz was awake and, god forbid, dressed.

"Just got back in." He replied, popping the last piece into his mouth. "Recovery team took its sweet time. Was sittin' in a dusty vent fer longer than Ah care ta remember."

"I'll look into that." Prowl replied, forlornly opening up the other packet and removing the first bagel, splitting it into its two halves and putting them into the toaster. Jazz nodded as he dumped his plate down on the side, stretching and yawning loudly. He blearily rubbed at his eyes, hopping down from the side.

"Ah'm goin' ta bed. Call meh if ya need meh."

"As if you'd answer."

Jazz simply chuckled from the hallway, too tired for a retort, as he opened up the door to his room.

Exactly two minutes later, Prowl could hear him snoring. Yup. Wouldn't answer his phone.

When Jazz woke up again, it was late afternoon and the apartment was empty. He didn't have another shift for two days, so he sighed and fell back down onto his bed, reluctant to leave it. His stomach grumbling again forced him up and out into the kitchen in a search of something to graze on.

He'd go straight back to bed after, he'd decided. His legs still felt like lead, and his head still pounded. He was pretty sure that he had a cracked rib, but he really couldn't be bothered to drive the whole way to the base.

Nope. He'd wait until later. Or he could call Ratchet out her- no. Noooooo no no. Ratchet would murder him first for bypassing the base and going straight home, and he quite enjoyed being alive thank you very much.

There was nothing out on the side nor the table for him to munch on, so he checked the fridge to find that Prowl had made him a small fruit salad just incase he woke up before he got back. It was predominantly apples as Prowls mother insisted on giving them almost a crate full every time she visited during the harvest, and they were struggling to find out what to do with all of them, and a few slices of banana thrown in for good measure. When Jazz shook it a little, some grapes came into view.

Grabbing a fork from the drawer, he sat at the table and started munching away on the fruit, thinking over the mission he had just been on. Falling asleep was dead easy knowing that Prowl was in the apartment, but now that he was well and truly alone he knew that he wouldn't be getting a single wink. Oh the joys of Special Ops.

Clumsily biting down on a grape, the force of it slipping on his teeth made it shoot out of his mouth like a bullet to splat onto the wall. He grumbled and continued eating the rest of his fruit salad, taking care to not make the same mistake again. He'd have to clean it up when he'd finished. It wasn't as if he'd be sleeping again any time soon anyway.

He left his fork and the tub on the table, deciding that he was far too tired to make the few steps to the dishwasher and yank it open, and swiped the cloth from the sink so he could wipe the grape off the wall. By now it had started to slide down and there was a long, sticky trail running down.

Grreeeaaaat.

He was slightly tempted to just lick it off, but common sense told him otherwise and he started the laborious task of wiping down the wall so that Prowl wouldn't even know it had happened. He was very good at finding mysterious stains and patches, and most of the time it was Jazz's fault they got there. So, he always got the blame.

Prowl was already going to be in a bad mood with him for eating his bagel (although it was very delicious and he wouldn't hesitate to do it again), and a sticky trail on the wall wasn't something you'd want to come home to. So, scrubbing away at the wall it was.

He dumped the evidence in the bin and washed off the cloth he used before slinking back to his room and flopping down into his bed, sighing into the fabric of his pillow.

When Prowl returned, he found Jazz curled up on the sofa, all wrapped up in his bed sheets and the spotted blanket they kept behind the sofa for when it got cold. He wasn't asleep, however he looked exhausted and he would be for the next few days. Jazz gave Prowl a sleepy smile when he saw him, moving to sit up but suddenly hissing as he agitated something.

And Prowl heard.

Crossing the room with three quick strides, he was immediately at Jazz's side and was carefully pulling the covers back, Jazz scrabbling to tug them back into place. Prowl would find out that he'd skipped Ratchet and make him go!

"Jazz, let me see." Prowl snapped, grabbing onto Jazz's wrists as he made to tuck the covers in underneath him, where Prowl couldn't reach. He was still annoyed at Jazz for eating his bagel (and he didn't think he'd forgive that act of treason too soon) and he'd just spent the entire day working on dire reports. He was not in the mood for Jazz's antics.

"It's nothin' – Ah just pulled somethin'. Promise." Jazz quickly spluttered in reply, silently pleading that Ratchet hadn't asked Prowl about him.

"Ratchet told me that you skipped seeing him after your mission." Prowl replied with a disapproving frown. Fuck, Ratchet had. There was no escaping it now.

"Ah didn't wanna waste his time, Smokey needed it more."

"You know the rules, Jazz."

"Ah'm fine!"

"I'll be the judge of that."

Before Jazz could react, Prowl quickly ripped away the sheets and blanket, taking care to not hurt Jazz in the process. Jazz squeaked and immediately went to go and pull them back over himself, the sudden gust cold air unwelcome.

"Hold still."

"Ah'm fine, Ah've got a few bruises but that's it-" Jazz cut himself off as he suddenly gasped, a sharp pain shooting through his side. Yep, definitely cracked, if not broken.

"That does not sound like you are fine." Prowl remarked, ignoring how Jazz was whining as he gently pulled up the bottom of his shirt and revealed a dark blue bruise that was edging on purple. "And it doesn't look like it either. Is this broken?"

"Maybe."

"Jazz…"

"Alright alright! Ah'll go!" Jazz replied, clearly exasperated as he threw his arms up and rolled his eyes behind his glasses.

"Now."

Jazz pouted and nodded, moving to stand as Prowl shifted out of the way. Gritting his teeth so he didn't give any indication as to how much it hurt, he started to walk towards the front door when he heard Prowl fall into step beside him. He gave him a questioning glance.

"You shouldn't be driving with a broken rib."

The drive back to the base was relatively quiet, what with Jazz not in the mood to blast his music to window-shaking levels nor to sing along to it. Prowl was perfectly fine with this.

And to think that all of this could have been avoided if it weren't for that one perfect bagel.

Happy new year and happy holidays, guys!

Writing human AU is really fun, funner than I expected actually.

kkcliffy - I have to agree. I'd have preferred that nobody died D: I'm still reeling over Wheeljack.

tooshytode-anon - Oh man don't be shy I promise I don't bite~ And your wish is my command~

Please please pleeaaassseeee tell me what you thought~!

~Llama