The Workout Competition

By Shadowgate

…...

Craig Tucker came down to his living room and saw that Ruby was watching Sesame Street.

He said "Ruby why are you watching Sesame Street? Let's watch the NASCAR races?"

Ruby said "mom and dad said I could."

Craig said "damn it Ruby I'm in the mood for something aggressive."

Ruby suggested Craig go to the new 24 hour gym that just opened.

Craig sat back and watched Sesame Street with Ruby.

"This way Big Bird" said Elmo.

Big Bird and Elmo walked to the corner of the street.

Big Bird said "it looks safe to cross."

Big Bird stepped out and was run over by an out of control 18 wheeler.

Elmo yelled "OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED BIG BIRD!"

Oscar came out of his trash can and yelled "YOU BASTARDS!"

Gordon said "that's why you look both ways when crossing the street."

Ruby yelled "OH NO BIG BIRD IS DEAD!"

Craig commented "well now Gordon can have the road kill for lunch."

Ruby snapped "Craig that was insensitive."

Ruby hit Craig with a pillow and Craig said "Goddamn maybe I will go to the gym."

Craig put on his school gym uniform and went over to the new gym. He paid a monthly fee and he got in. When he got in he saw Stan, Kyle, and Kenny on the equipment.

Token came up behind him and said "hey Craig I'm so glad you joined."

Craig said "hey Token."

Craig asked "so where's the fat one in your group?"

Stan answered "he's doing 40 hours of court ordered community service because he toilet papered a nice old man's house and garden."

Stan points over at the corner where Cartman is mopping the floor.

Kenny commented "Cartman is doing community service but his mother gives the best service."

The whole gym laughs.

Cartman yells "GODDAMN IT KENNY JUST BECAUSE I GOT IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW DOES NOT MEAN THIS PUNISHMENT SHOULD BE HUMILIATING!"

Kyle replied "actually it's supposed to be humiliating because it's a punishment."

Cartman said "why don't you kiss my ass and suck in my farts Kyle?"

Kyle said "oh shit fat boy if you weren't mopping you'd be standing around. No way could you lift weights or run on the treadmill."

Stan jumped in and said "Yeah fat ass so just shut the fuck up."

Craig commented "you're screwed you fat tub of dog shit."

The gym owner came out and said "alright let's not distract that kid from doing his community service."

Stan said "hey Craig you look tough and act tough but I'm the South Park Quarterback."

Craig said "I can take you on Stan."

Stan picked up a 10 pound barbell with his right hand and did 10 arm curls.

Craig then picked up the same barbell and matched Stan's performance.

Stan said "I bet you can't do better than me on the treadmills."

Craig said "I can outrun you when we play football."

Stan said "no you can't."

Craig said "yes I can you asshole."

Stan said "no you can't you asshole."

Craig said "yes I can you asshole."

Stan said "no you can't you asshole."

Kyle said "will you guys just get on the fucking treadmills already?"

Stan and Craig jump on their treadmills side by side.

Craig says "do we need to attach these heart rate monitors to our fingers?"

Stan replied "no dipshit that's for older people."

Craig said "too bad there are no EEG monitors then I could see that the runner beside me is brain dead."

Stan gave a sarcastic laugh and then they both got started. They both ran for 10 minutes straight at the same speed.

Stan said "Goddamn it I think we tied on the treadmills."

Craig said "well maybe we can have a fucking rematch."

Cartman said "hey guys I have an idea. Let's see which of you two can mop this gym floor the best."

Craig and Stan turn to Cartman and give him dirty looks.

Kenny suggested they do pushups.

Stan did 100 and got up and said "beat that Craig."

Craig got down and did 100.

Craig said after doing 100 he didn't care to go for 101.

Stan said "Craig let's call it even. You're a good person."

Craig said "Stan you're a great football team captain."

Stan and Craig put their arms around each other.

After the gym Craig got lunch at McDonalds then he went home to shower and came down wearing a Whitechapel t-shirt that he got for Xmas.

When he got down stairs he said "I know someone who deserves an apology from her big brother."

After Craig told her he was sorry for yelling during her show they both hugged.

Ruby said "I can hear your heartbeat Craig."

Soon after her comment they stopped hugging.

Craig said "well good now you know I'm alive. Where are mom and dad?"

Ruby said "they're upstairs doing it."

Craig said "well then we better stay downstairs."

THE END