Child Welfare was contacted by Springfield Elementary as Bart and Lisa arrived at school with severe head lice caught Milhouse's new monkey which his father had bought for him as a sorry for not being able to see you this weekend gift. Something that fathers often do to their kids when they are the subject of a divorce. His mother had taken the monkey shortly after he arrived home and given it to the local zoo. To make matters worse the Simpsons kids had a fight on the way to school and had covered themselves in mud. Principal Seymour Skinner seeing their clothes were full of dirt and mud and the children were clearly frozen had fashioned the children some clothes from paper bags. He had been known as seamstress of the unit when he was in the military something that he didn't like other people to know about.

Child Welfare had taken the children home to inspect their homes properly and ensure the children's safety. They had been amazed at what they had found.

"Look at this place dog and cat well in need of a good clean. Baby eating out of the dog bowl. Elderly man sleeping in own fifth and thirty years of newspapers sitting on the kitchen table! You two are going to have to go into a foster home whilst your parents straighten this out!" said the female worker.

The male worker put away his clipboard and said, "luckily for you two one of the best foster homes has just opened up right next door."

So it was that the Simpson's kids found themselves sitting in the Flander's lounge room.

"Welcome neglectorinos!" Ned said as he opened the door. Maude had already run a bath with every intention on bathing the two Simpsons kids before feeding them that night. She ushered the kids straight into the bathroom before finding them clothes which were a close fit although Lisa felt a little funny wearing something other than a dress. Marge had always insisted on her wearing a dress because she was a proper little girl but Maude was happy to allow her to wear her son's shorts and tshirt until better accommodations could be made.

"we will go shopping and find you a nice dress tomorrow Lise," she said when Lisa had pointed out how much she would prefer to try wearing Maude's own clothing even if it was at least ten sizes too big for her.

"Now kids," Ned said as the Simpson's came into the lounge room head lice free and clean. Seating themselves on the floor next to Rod and Todd. "We have to go through a few basics of the Flander's household. Everything you need to know about life comes from one special book now does anybody know what that book is?"

"I do! I do!" Said Rod waving his hands around in the air.

"No Roddie, it's important for the Simpson's kids to know this one," Ned said smiling at the children.

"No book holds all the answers of life," Lisa said sitting up straight, "I mean I guess that there's Vestiges of the Natural History of Creation said to be done by Charles Darwin but even that only holds about a tenth of…."

Ned had opened his mouth in complete shock taking a deep breathe with Maude rushing up to him. "Calm down Neddy," she said gently, "she didn't know any better it's those schools these days full of corruption and new age ideas."

Ned swallowed and nodded his head putting his hand gently on his wife's.

"Yes you're right," he said, "this book," he held up the bible, "has all the answers that you need. Whilst you are staying within the Flander's household I would like you to follow it. Okieladokiele?"

Bart who had been sitting cross legged on the carpet stood up in a rage.

"I'm not following no dumb book!" he said crossing his arms.

Todd and Rod looked at him taking a deep breath and looking shocked and raced to their mother.

"Neddy it's not his fault to think that way look at his influences," Maude said as she wrapped her arms around her two boys, "why don't you take Bart with you and play newspapers Lisa and I need to start dinner!"

Lisa gulped at the sound of her name and start dinner she had never started dinner before in her life aside from maybe taking out some TV dinners from the fridge and putting them in the microwave.

Bart meanwhile was upstairs with Rod and Todd in their room.

Extra, extra Todd Smells! He wrote on the paper and then he wrote all about the stench that he had been smelling since entering the Flanders home. "Here to go on your paper!" Bart said.

Rod took it from him with a smile, "thank you Bart" all ready to type it up onto his type writer when he saw what Bart had written.

"Is your source on this reliable?" Rod asked, Todd read the paper over his shoulder and frowned a little as he gave Rod his paper.

Extra! Extra! Playtime is Fun!

All about the fun of playtime with their new friend and foster brother. Rod smiled, "I'll go with it!" he said.

"You should research your papers more before you hand them to Rod Bart," Todd said.

Bart went and stood by the window looking out over his home. He saw his parents coming home and seeing the house completely empty of children even Maggie had been taken by social welfare and given to the Flanders. She was with Maude and Ned for sure. Bart sighed sadly looking at his parents all he wanted to do was run back next door to where he felt he belonged. His parents weren't all that bad and they tried hard it was better than this weird place.

"Dinners ready!" Maude announced at the doorway.

Bart walked in to see Lisa setting the table and seating herself at the side with space next to her for Bart.

Maude stood and served everybody.

"Yum yum brussel sprouts thank you Mom!" Rod said.

"And string beans!" said Todd.

Ned looked at his son.

"Thank you Mom!" Todd said.

Ned smiled.

The Simpsons kids were already starting to eat their food when Rod and Todd were still sitting there still like statues looking at it.

"You shall NOT swallow your food before we have thanked our lord!" Ned said angrily.

The Simpsons kids put down their fork and looked at the table.

"For what we are about to receive may the lord make us truly thankful amen," Ned stated.

"Oh and Lord?" Todd said quietly, Ned allowed him to continue, "I'd like to thank you for bringing our new friends Bart and Lisa to our home may we learn and play together happily."

"Amen!" said Rod.

"Amen!" said everybody else aside from Maggie who sucked on her pacifier.

Everybody started eating, Rod and Todd eating slowly and the Simpson's kids really wolfing their food as always.

"I wonder what happened to children's manners these days!" Maude said to Ned who looked at the Simpsons.

"Kids, slow down it's not a race okiedokie!" Ned said cheerfully, "The lord will bless you with many more meals there's no need to rush this one!"

"But Itchy and Scratchy is on the television after dinner and that's in five minutes!" Bart complained.

"Well I will go and tape it for you so you can slow down I'm sure a little bit of television won't hurt you!" Ned walked out of the room and came back to see more of the food gone from the Simpson's plates.

"Nobody leaves the table before I do!" Ned said, "If you behave then I might let you watch that TV cartoon thingimajigger."

True to his word Ned sat at the table taking his time and chatting with Maude about how things had been going at his second hand shop. Boring shop talk but the boys knew not to make a sound. If the Simpsons started squirming or talking they were given a nasty look by the family and they went quiet again. After dinner Ned smiled, thanked his wife and ushered the kids into the lounge room to watch the television.

The itchy and scratchy song played and the Simpson's kids were glued to the television sitting on their knees.

"Daddy? What's that stuff coming out of kitty's ears?" Rod asked sounding frightened.

"Why that's just tomato sauce and raspberries son. He'd had a big dinner!" Ned said as he turned off the television and stared at the Simpson's children shocked that Marge would ever allow her kids to watch such a show. Maude would be completely shocked if she knew!

"Come on children lets clean up from dinner!" Maude said.

"Yay dishes!" Rod and Todd said as they rushed into the kitchen to help their mother.

The Simpson's children gloomily followed. They did not understand where the enjoyment from doing dishes could possibly be from.

Rod and Todd were happily singing hymns together from their hymnal and doing the dishes. Rod was washing and Todd was drying and he started giving the dishes to Lisa to put away. Bart was left to clean the table. He just continued to wipe it and wipe it with the dish towel that was given to him by Maude.

Alright then dishes are done and it's time for bed but first. It's Wednesday night and you know what that means.

"Confession night!" Rod said excitedly.

"Confession night?" Lisa whispered to Bart.

"Yes confession night, it's time to wipe your souls clean just like it suggests in the good book. Spare the rod, spoil the child." Ned said, "Rod your up first!"

Rod walked over to his father.

"Bless me oh lord for I have sinned. I have not been completely open with our new friends and have held back where I should have shared," Rod said. Then he proceeded to tell his father all about the incident of not allowing Bart's writing into their make believe newspaper.

"That is the sin of greed Rod, very well spotted. Your punishment will be that Bart will be allowed to write one article of his choice onto your typewriter to be submitted to the newspaper or not as he wishes and you will receive a spanking. Come here," Ned said to his son.

Spankings had been a part of the Flander's household since they had first decided that they wanted to have children. After all Ned's parents had been so lenient on him as a child that he had become a right little terror which had led him to the spankalogical protocol for a year and his family were not going to go through that.

Taking his son over his knee he raised his hand and started to spank his bottom. Slow hard smacks through his shorts, smack, SMACK, WHACK, SMACK.

He lifted his leg to readjust his boy and pulled down his shorts continue to spank Rod's bare bottom.

SPANK! SMACK! SMACK! SLAP!

He slowed the pace for a while and continued to spank Rod's bare bottom until he started to resist the smacks. Ned knew that he would be close to being contrite very soon and he continued to spank his son's poor bottom to a deep shade of burgundy. Rod started to cry and Ned stopped spanking him allowing him to hide his modesty before facing the others.

"Ok Lisa, come with me to the other room," Maude said, "I think that you understand what to do now and you can make your confession in my bedroom away from the boys."

Maude left Maggie playing in her crib whilst she took Lisa to her bedroom.

"Now Lisa, you saw what Rod did," Maude said.

Lisa started to go red from embarrassment; she had never had to do something like this before in her life!

"This is the way that the Flander's household is run Lisa and if you do not participate you will not be coming with the family on our special Sunday excursion which is always enjoyable. So choose what you want to do," Maude explained gently.

"This is stupid!" Lisa said, "I've never done anything like this at home and I'm not going to do it!" she said.

"Lisa, you want to go to the museum? Do you want to go to the art gallery? Ned and I will take you but you need to keep to our rules and one of them is confession night. Now choose. Do you want us to take you or don't you?" Maude said.

Lisa sighed. There was her weak spot. She loved museums and art galleries, loved going to the library and loved going places where she could learn new things. She sighed as she readied herself to do what felt like the stupidest thing in her life.

"Forgive me Lord for I have sinned. I have not been as Christian as I could have been and I'm sorry," Lisa said.

"Not been as Christian? What do you mean?" Maude asked wanting more answers.

"I have chosen to be Buddhist but that shouldn't mean I don't respect Christianity and the bible. I started dinner before you wanted me to and I just don't fit in here," Lisa said.

"That was very well said Lisa," Maude said, "and I'm proud of you. You fit in just fine with the Flander's and I only wish I could have a daughter like you." Maude gave her a hug and patted her knee lifting her hair brush.

She pulled down Lisa's shorts and bared her bottom ready for the hairbrush.

Tap tap tap she started spanking very gently smack spank slap

And Lisa started to wriggle a little.

Smack spank slap spank smack.

She wriggled a little more as Maude focused her attention on one spot of Lisa's bottom turning it pink in colour. She continued doing this all over Lisa's bare bottom and Lisa kicked her legs trying to stop her punishment with her hand when she felt like she had enough. Maude simply pinned her hand to her back and continued to spank her this time harder. SMACK SLAP SMACK SPANK SLAP Lisa stopped wriggling and started to cry earnestly.

"I'm so sorry!" Lisa said to Maude who merely held her close and allowed her to cry. Maude put Lisa to bed with a kiss on the forehead and a cuddle.

Meanwhile downstairs Bart was refusing to submit to Flander's and his beliefs.

"I'm telling you I'm not going to do it!" Bart said, "And you can't make me!"

Bart ran out the door and across the lawn only to be turned around by a cop who happened to be doing his route in the area at a time.

"No Bart it is far too late for you to be out and word at the station is you are staying with the Flanders, such a nice family." Chief Wiggum took Bart back to the Flander's home and waited til he was safely inside to continue with his route.

"That does it Bart! I did not want to have to do this but I am going to have to spank you BEFORE you have confession!" Ned said.

He grabbed Bart by the wrist and started to spank his bare bottom the same as he did Rod's. But Bart simply wasn't having it. He tried to stand up and pull away from Ned continuously until Ned pegged him down and spanked him solidly. SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK!

Bart looked at Ned and saw the determined look on his face.

"I am not going to lose you to the spankalogical protocol, no matter what I have to do!" Ned said as he stood Bart up again, "Go and stand in the corner for a while and we'll talk."

Now this Bart didn't like. He was forced to stand in a corner with nothing to think about. He tried to make a break for it a few times but Ned merely put him back into the corner. The boy was going to learn respect if it broke him to do so.

After a while Bart stopped trying to run away as he started to get bored with the routine. This however, was starting to get onto midnight the other children were well and truly asleep by now but Ned's most important mission he believed was to bring his straggling lamb back into the fold. He made a call to his minister who simply told him to go look in the bible and go to bed. He sighed and made another call. To his minister who had suggested to his parents about taking him to the doctor who had put him on the spankalogical protocol. After nodding a few times and agreeing into the telephone he turned and faced Bart.

Bart, I believe that you still need a spanking before bed just like the others but starting from tomorrow you and I will be spending a lot of time together. I shall be home tutoring you until I know that you are capable of going off on your own and can be trusted. Now come here for your spanking and then you are going to bed.

Bart didn't see another way out of it and was too tired to run away so walked over to Ned and allowed him to take him over his knee. Ned spanked slowly talking to him whilst he was going.

"You have been allowed to get away with too much for too long young man," he said as he spanked him. Slap SMACK spank SLAP

He spanked in one area before moving on.

"This experience will teach you the pain you have brought onto others young man," Ned said as he continued to spank Bart.

Bart threw his hand behind him and Ned calmly pinned it to his back. SPANK SMACK SPANK SLAP Bart found himself kicking his legs out but nothing he did would stop Ned from his mission. SMACK SPANK SLAP SMACK SPANK

Over the next few weeks Bart and Lisa started to get used to the way that things were at the Flander's house. Yes there were certain things that they were expected to do. Make their own bed, help clean up the house, do their homework yes, even Bart, Ned's constant influence on his life was changing him, and put up with the constant praying around them. Although Lisa found as a Buddhist that participating too much was starting to get on her nerves.

"I just can't take it here anymore Lise if I have to stay here for one more day I am going to go completely insane!"

Ned had gathered the children onto the mat in front of them and was starting to ask bible questions. Everybody had stars except for Bart and Lisa, even Maggie!

"But that's the kind of thing you are supposed to learn after baptism!" Maude said gently.

"Um…actually…we…we were never baptised!" Lisa said.

Before they knew it they were seated at the back of the Flander's car.

"Just sit back, relax, and soon you will be a part of the Flander's flock in the eyes of the lord!" Maude said lovingly stroking Lisa's hair.

"Ha! Ha! You're going to be Lisa Flander's!" Bart teased.

"You're going to be Bart Flander's!" Lisa answered back and Bart screamed.

"Everything will be fine kids you'll see!" Ned said.

"Daddilydodilee!" Maggie said smiling at the kids just like Ned would.

"Kids! Kids you can come home now we are good parents now!" Marge said as she was crossing the yard to gather her children.

On the door was a note.

Gone Baptising

Homer and Marge drove as quickly as they could to the only place they could think of where Ned could perform a baptism they had to get their kids back. Ned had performed the ritual and was about to drip a drop of water on top of Bart when Homer pushed him out of the way.

"Come on kids lets go home!" Homer said and Lisa ran to him. Even though he was in the middle of a bog he seemed like a better option than the Flander's and their rituals!

Maggie however, wasn't convinced. Until Marge who had been looking for a parking spot for the car arrived and took her into her arms.

"Come on everybody lets go home!" Marge said.

Later on that evening Homer was talking to his kids and asked them "was there anything really weird about the Flander's home kids?"

"No not really," Lisa said, "they did some things differently but nothing we can really consider weird."

Bart and Lisa had spoken and decided that just because the Flander's had a religious home and certain odd rituals didn't mean that they were bad people or needed to be ripped apart. Rod and Todd adored their parents. The time Ned had spent with Bart was priceless to him and had in fact changed him in ways he didn't care to admit. Turns out all that Bart really needed was a little bit of attention and a strong hand.