You sat on the side of your bed, a throw blanket wrapped around your body and a book in your hand.
You glanced at your alarm clock and let out a sigh.
It was eleven o'clock.
The new year wasn't until another hour.
Your parents went on their own little vacation somewhere on the opposite side of the world while you were at home, "celebrating" by yourself.
You were absolutely sick of this year; all the bullying from school, the name calling, being put down and ignored by your parents. It was suffocating.
You promised yourself that you would get through this year, no matter how tough things got. And you were an hour away from fulfilling your promise.
Your phone vibrated next to you and you immediately picked it up to see who it was.
When you checked the message, your face paled.
Hey you little piece of shit! How's your New Year's Eve going? Crappy? I sure fuckin' hope it is!
How did she get your phone number?
It was from the leader of those "popular" girls. At school, she and her group tormented you daily and since it was Winter Break, you hoped that you wouldn't have to deal with any of them.
That meant not having any contact, such as texts.
Your phone vibrated again.
How's my little bitch doing?
You bit your lip.
One of the girls in the group also possessed your phone number.
Immediately after, your phone began to vibrate continually.
How's winter break, slut?
Have you lost any weight yet, fatass?
Lay off the twinkies for me, will you?
I hope you've gotten smarter over the break. YOU'RE SUCH A DUMBASS!
Has anyone told you how UGLY you are? Well, I hope we don't have to tell you because you should already know!
You're such a let down! That's probably why you don't have any friends!
If you're reading this, then may I ask you one question? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!
Please do us a favor and die. It would make the world a whole lot better.
No one needs you so just go and kill yourself.
DIE DIE DIE DIE!
You hurled the phone across the room, as you couldn't bare to read anymore messages. But the phone continued to vibrate.
You gripped the bed sheets as you closed your eyes, clenching your teeth.
Please stop. Please, please stop vibrating!
No matter how much you begged and no matter how much you pleaded, it wouldn't stop.
And each vibrate was like a bullet hurling towards you. Your strong demeanor was like a bulletproof shield, keeping you safe and protected. But whenever a bullet hit, it would leave cracks and weaken your shield.
Soon, your strength, the shield, gave way and was destroyed. The last message, the last bullet, shot straight through your heart.
The vibrating ceased and you were left shattered, broken beyond repair.
You lay there for a while, blankly staring at the ceiling as tears flowed down the sides of your eyes. After for what seemed like forever, you slowly rose from your spot. In a zombie-like motion, you made your way towards your phone and picked it up. The phone vibrated abruptly and you jumped in surprise, dropping the phone.
You bent down sluggishly and grabbed the phone. Staring at it, you reluctantly unlocked your phone to see the message.
Hey _! It's Angélique! I'm at this really cool New Year's party, but to get in, I had to give the leader your phone number. Sorry! Anyways, Bonne année! See ya!
You dropped the phone.
She was your friend and you trusted her. But, she went out and gave your phone number away to your tormentors.
A weak smile formed on your face and you laughed cynically.
"Maybe they're right," you whispered.
But the whisper turned into a scream, "Maybe they are right! Maybe I should just kill myself! That would make everything a hell lot better, wouldn't it?!"
You ran out of your room and down the stairs towards your kitchen, grabbing a bottle cap opener before grabbing a couple of bottles of your parents' alcohol, not caring in particular which one you got.
It didn't matter, anyways. Any one of them would end your pathetic life.
You raced back up the stairs, setting the items on your bedroom floor before darting into your parent's room. Opening the dresser drawers, you grabbed whatever pills were in sight, not caring which ones.
Just as long as they finished the job.
Not bothering to close the drawers, you ran back into your room, closed the door and dropped the pills were the alcohol was. The pills scattered across the floor, but it didn't matter to you.
You weren't going to clean your room when you were dead.
You glanced at the clock.
Eleven thirty.
Screw New Year's and this shit! You thought.
I'll be gone by morning.
You sat in front of the pile, leaning against your bed. You held an alcohol bottle in one hand and a bottle cap opener in the other. You neared the bottle opener to the bottle and opened it with ease. Bringing your face close to the bottle, you sniffed it and coughed, grimacing.
The smell was utterly wretched.
But you didn't care. It would end your life and that was all the mattered.
You held the bottle near your mouth, but hesitated.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea…
Of course it's a good idea! The voice inside your head contradicted.
You wouldn't have to deal with all this pain anymore! Wouldn't you'd like that, to be free?
"B-but," you stammered. "What if I miss out on something great?"
Ha! It scoffed. Miss out on what? The bullying? The torment? Being disregarded by your parents? Tell me love, just tell me exactly what it is that you'll miss out on? Because you're life is complete crap!
"W-well, there might be someone that'll mi-"
Miss you?! It interrupted. Who would miss you?! Your peers hate you! That little snitch that you once called a "friend" gave your phone number away to your tormentors for some party! Even your parents don't talk to you and try their very best to avoid you! That's why they're on the opposite side of the globe, right? Everyone will get along fine without your presence.
The voice spoke the truth. You parents almost never talked to you, you barely had any friends and everyone despised you. Already, you knew that one of your friends didn't give a damn about you. The other three…
You gulped.
They would be fine without you. You just knew it.
See? I'm right! I'm always right! Now sweetie, be a good girl and drink the alcohol.
You were about to follow it's orders until you heard a loud knock on your front door.
You nearly dropped the bottle from the sound.
"Bonsoir, _! Can you let us in, s'il te plaît?"
It was Francis.
"Yeah _! Come on!" You heard Gilbert yell.
"Please open the door, _! We have churros!" Antonio said cheerfully.
"Oi! No one cares about your churros, Toni!" Gilbert said with annoyance.
You stayed quiet, hoping that they'd give up and leave. For a moment it was quiet, so you thought they left.
Until you heard the front door slam open.
"I'll check down here. You guys go upstairs," Gilbert said.
"Crap!" you muttered.
You stared down at the bottle of alcohol desperately.
Drink the alcohol! The voice screamed inside your head.
Instantly, you started gulping it down. Although on the first gulp, you spit out every ounce of alcohol that was in your mouth.
The stuff was absolutely repulsive, but you held the bottle to your lips and began gulping down some more.
It doesn't matter anyways, just as long as it's all in your system.
Suddenly, the alcohol was taken out of your hands. You looked up, finding Francis with the bottle in his hand, staring at you in horror. Antonio was right next him, equally horrified.
"Oh mon Dieu, _! What the hell are you doing!" Francis yelled, worry and shock apparent on his voice.
Gilbert ran into the room and came to an abrupt stop. His eyes widened as he saw the pills and alcohol surrounding you.
You stared at Francis and gave him a weak smile, "Nothing."
Antonio flinched.
France's eyes widened, "Nothing?! Mon amie, you were trying to gulp down a whole bottle of whiskey! A-and look at these pills! Don't tell me that this is nothing!"
The smile on your face immediately disappeared and you broke down crying. Gilbert held you in his arms and Antonio was right next to you, rubbing your back soothingly. You clutched Gilbert's shirt as you sobbed uncontrollably.
Francis grabbed the waste basket in your bathroom and began to dispose of the pills and alcohol.
When you became more calm, Francis spoke up in a soothing voice, "Mon amie, please tell me why you were trying to-" he gulped. "Kill yourself."
Slowly, you tilted your head and pointed to your phone that was still lying on the opposite side of the room. You went back to hiding yourself in Gilbert's arms.
Francis nodded and walked towards the phone and picked it up, unlocking the phone with a single swipe. He grimaced as he read the vile messages.
Upon seeing Francis's expression, Antonio followed him. His face paled as he read the comments.
Gilbert didn't need to see the phone to know the reason as to why you decided to make such a decision. He continued to hold you in his arms, although much tighter, scared that if he loosened his grip, you'd do the unspeakable.
Francis and Antonio made their way back and sat next to you in silence.
Francis spoke up first, "_, I know it's hard, but please don't let those ignorant-"
"Assholes," Antonio completed.
"Oui," he nodded to Antonio and continued, "They have no right to judge such a wonderful, kind, and not to mention beautiful girl. Tu es très belle. Très belle es très magnifique !"
"Sí, amiga! Don't ever think that you're fat, ugly, stupid, or that you're just a burden that shouldn't exist. Tú eres tan maravillosa!" Antonio was now sobbing, "You're worth so much more than you think!"
Gilbert loosened his grip so he could look you straight in the eye. "_, you are pure awesome! Don't ever think otherwise!"
You stared at everyone, eyes widened. After taking in all their comments, you smiled, tears falling down your cheeks once more.
"Thank you," you said quietly.
All three of them wrapped their arms around you tightly. You all stayed like that, not wanting to let go.
And after what seemed like forever, Antonio's eyes met the clock.
"Oi, you guys! It's a minute till New Years!" He exclaimed.
The trio gasped and got on their feet.
"Let's go see the fireworks!" Gilbert shouted.
With that, Antonio and Gilbert ran to the doorway, waiting for you. Francis gave them a nod and they raced down the stairs. Francis picked you up bridal style and followed after. You let out a tiny squeak in surprise and tightly wrapped your arms around his neck, afraid to fall. On the way down, Francis placed his lips close to your ear and whispered.
"You're worth so much to us, _. Always and forever. No matter what."
You're eyes widened from his words. But you soon closed them in content and smiled.
When you both finally caught up to the others, Francis put you down gently. Upon seeing your arrival, Gilbert put an arm around your shoulder and Francis followed immediately after. Finding that both of your shoulders were already occupied, Antonio stood behind and put his arms around all of you.
Gilbert checked his watch, "Ready?"
"Ready," The three of you said simultaneously.
"5," Francis uttered.
"4," Antonio smiled.
"3," you spoke quietly.
"2," Gilbert followed.
"1!" You all exclaimed.
The fireworks skyrocketed across the sky in reds, blues, greens, golds, and many other hues.
You all watched in astonishment as the worldful of colors filled the sky.
You smiled to yourself and thought,
Maybe I can make it through.