"Pumpkin Shells"
by shel
© october 2002
disclaimer: the charmed ones, cole, and leo, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…
rating: pg-13
summary: my version of an epilogue for season 5's 'happily ever after'…
archive: please don't without express permission…
notes: there is reference to specific persons or events from "once upon a time" and "a witch's tail"…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…
Phoebe stepped into the house and cautiously closed the door so as not to make any unnecessary noise. She hugged herself and leaned back against the door as she gazed around the dark hallway. She stayed that way a moment before she removed the clip from her hair and lightly massaged the back of her head. She sighed and headed for the stairs. But she stopped when she caught the soft glow emanating from the other room.
Phoebe smiled as she watched her younger sister sleep on the sofa. She carefully lifted the old and thick fairy tale book from Paige's chest and set it aside. Paige stirred and, with a groan, opened her eyes.
"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Phoebe teased.
Paige rubbed her eyes and sleepily greeted her sister, " Phoebe. You're home. What time is it?"
"Late," Phoebe answered, "or early. Guess it depends on how you look at it. You'd better get into bed or you're gonna be really sore in the morning."
"Yeah," Paige agreed as she stretched in her spot. With a knowing smile, she added, "So, how was the rest of the ball, Cinderella?"
"Don't call me that," Phoebe softly requested as she turned away from Paige.
"Hey, I was teasing," Paige commented as Phoebe left the room. She scrambled up from her seat and rushed after her sister. "You know, Cinderella got her prince. Adam's name. I just thought --"
"I know what you thought," Phoebe sharply said as she stopped mid-stride in the hallway. "Sorry," she apologized in a calmer tone as she turned around to face Paige. "It's been a really long day and I'm wiped."
"Not that wiped that you couldn't spend the past two hours with a man you just met this morning," Paige challenged. "Strange I didn't hear a car," she thought, "I'm usually a pretty light sleeper." She didn't miss Phoebe's sudden glance downward. "Just how long have you been home?"
"Look, it's late and I've got an early morning meeting," Phoebe answered as she sidestepped Paige's question and stepped onto the bottom stair.
Paige reached for Phoebe's arm and spoke with concern, "Phoebe, when you called, you said Cole brought you to Adam and that you were staying awhile. That was nearly two hours ago. What happened?"
"Nothing," Phoebe shrugged.
"Phoebe…"
Phoebe sighed. "I talked to Adam for a little while and he drove me home. End of story."
"Somehow, I don't think so," Paige commented as she regarded her sister with suspicion. "You look a bit chilled. I'd say you've been sitting outside our front door for the past two hours." Phoebe glared at her so Paige let the matter drop and instead, with a cheery smile, she said, "But I guess it is pretty late and you do have work in the morning. Boy, I'll tell you, this no more alarm clock is a real perk with this full-time wiccan gig. A body gets used to it real quick."
"Goodnight, Paige," Phoebe chuckled and, with a smile, she kissed her sister goodnight and hurried up the stairs before Paige changed her mind and wanted to continue that conversation.
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Phoebe crawled into bed, shifted the pillow behind her, and leaned back into it. The pale moonlight cast shadows along the walls and she shivered and brought the blanket up to her chin. She stared at the cordless phone lying next to her on the spare pillow and made a sudden grab for it. She took a deep breath and dialed.
"Phoebe," Cole's voice greeted upon the first ring.
Shocked to hear him answer, Phoebe lost her grip on the phone and couldn't find her voice.
"Phoebe," his voice came through, "are you there?"
"Cole," Phoebe stammered as she brought the phone back to her ear, "um, I…what --"
"Is something wrong?" Cole quickly asked in a tone full of concern.
"No. Nothing," she stammered again. "I thought I'd get voicemail and you caught me by surprise. How'd you know it was me anyway?"
Cole gave a quiet laugh and teased, "Who else calls me at work at two in the morning?"
Phoebe smiled herself but she still clenched the phone in her hand. "Why are you there? Don't tell me you're trying to score brownie points with the bosses."
"I couldn't sleep," he simply admitted.
"I know the feeling," she murmured without explanation.
"What did you want?" he wondered aloud.
Phoebe shrugged and nervously switched the phone to her other ear, "I don't know, to apologize, I guess. Again."
"Seems we've played this scene before," Cole playfully suggested.
Phoebe couldn't help but let out a giggle as she imagined his smile and the spark in his eyes. "I was so afraid you'd think I was some idiotic lush and wouldn't want to see or speak to me again."
"Never," Cole promised with a semi-serious laugh. There was a moment of silence before he asked, "Why did you call?"
"About what happened tonight. Today," Phoebe sighed as she toyed with the edge of her blanket. "I'm sorry. You told me the truth and I should've believed you."
"I understand why you didn't," Cole slowly answered. "It's okay," he added after a slight hesitation.
Phoebe shook her head even as she realized that Cole couldn't see. "It's not," she insisted. "I didn't even try to listen. I was just so angry and…" Phoebe's voice trailed off and she wiped some tears from her eyes. "God, Cole, I hit you. I never…I'm so sorry…I can't believe…I'm --" Phoebe began to cry and couldn't finish speaking.
"I'll be right there," Cole stated.
"No," Phoebe quickly answered as she sniffled. "Please…don't. It'll…it'll only make it harder." Cole didn't respond and she timidly asked, "Cole?"
"I'm here, Phoebe," he assured her.
Phoebe reached for a tissue and blew her nose. She cleared her throat and began, "Cole…"
After she didn't continue, Cole broke the uncomfortable silence and asked, "What happened with Adam? Did you find out that you were right about him?"
"Yeah," she softly answered, "he is a nice guy. He doesn't remember much about what happened to him. Just that at some point it all started feeling wrong. He thought he might've done something bad. I told him he didn't. He even offered to make it up to me and asked me out again."
"Again?" Cole nervously asked.
"Yeah, uh," Phoebe reluctantly admitted as she tossed her used tissue into her nearby trashcan, "he had asked me this morning but…"
"But what?" Cole asked in an almost hopeful tone.
"But," she answered as she hugged her knees to her chest, "I'm not ready for that. I told you I can't trust anyone right now. It hurts, Cole, so much."
"I'm sorry," Cole quietly apologized.
"I know," Phoebe whispered, "I am too." She paused a moment before she continued, "We love each other but I'm still so…so…angry."
"At me?" he questioned.
"At everyone, everything," Phoebe tearfully admitted. "At my sisters, at Leo, at Piper, at you…at me. And it's so overwhelming sometimes and I don't know what to do with all this rage that I've got inside me. I don't want to blame you for everything but that's what's happening and I hate it. I hate it. And I'm afraid…I'm afraid…"
"Of what?" Cole encouraged.
But the tears spilled from her eyes and Phoebe couldn't answer as her body trembled.
Cole continued in a quiet tone, "You're afraid of what will happen if you unleash that rage. Of what you might do. Of who might get hurt."
Phoebe angrily pushed her hair away from her eyes and choked back a sob. All she could manage to say was, "Yes."
"Oh, Phoebe," Cole commented with a sigh, "I know what you're feeling. I've been there."
"I…I guess you have," she realized. "What do I do?" she softly pleaded.
"You have to find a way to release that rage," he stated.
"How?" Phoebe asked in a croaked voice when he stopped speaking.
"Vanquished any demons lately?" he suggested.
Phoebe choked back an angry laugh. "I'm serious."
"I am, too," he answered. "Part of that rage is the need to hurt something, someone. Directing it at the enemy will help release it. Even as a mermaid, didn't you feel better after vanquishing Necron?"
"Yeah, I guess," Phoebe considered as she slid down from her seated position and lay in bed. "But it's not enough."
"No," he agreed, "but it's a start. You still have to deal with all these issues you have and burying yourself in work isn't the answer either."
Phoebe wiped away the last of her tears. "Cole, I --"
"I love you, Phoebe," Cole interrupted in a rush. "I always will. Nothing, no magic, can ever change that. And I meant what I said today. I know that rebuilding your trust will take time."
"I don't want to hurt you," Phoebe whispered, "but I can't give you what you want now."
"You need time. So do I. And I'll wait," Cole assured her, "for as long as it takes as long as…"
"As long as what?" she asked when he stopped his train of thought.
Cole hesitated before he answered, "As long as I know there's still a chance…"
"I want to believe that…" Phoebe began in a voice so low that she wasn't sure Cole had even heard.
"Phoebe, I --"
"Goodnight, Cole," Phoebe softly interrupted.
"Goodnight, Phoebe," he answered. Very quickly, he added, "Thank you."
"For what?" she sleepily asked as she fluffed her pillow.
"For not saying goodbye," he answered simply. "Sleep well," he added before he ended the call.
"You too," she quietly replied as the dial tone sounded in her ear. She reached over to her nightstand and placed the phone back in its base before she lay down again. She turned over and hugged her extra pillow. "I love you," she whispered into the pillow before she closed her eyes and allowed slumber to overcome her tired body.
the end