This is the first story from the prompts taken from my 50-Sentences fic. I decided to start with this one because I realized that I didn't write anything for Christmas..

This should have been a one-shot but it has turned out to be an enormous two-shot. Next chapter will be out this weekend.

And it was also meant to be a lot fluffier: I blame myself for that. I was hearing Carey Brothers 'Holy Night' during most of it and even though it's beautiful, the angsty feels just oozed out of me..

I'll try to make the second part more bearable..

There are many head-canon things in here. I'll try to explain, expand and describe them better throughout these prompts. Just tell me if something is too confusing.. ;)

The prompt was #8. Cold.

I hope that you like it: please, leave a review..

So…Here's my holiday contribution for the FitzSimmons fandom. Happy holidays to all of you guys..:)

P.S: This story has been re-edited. Thanks to StarryDreamer01 who has become my wonderful Beta. :)

-HEAD CANON SERIES-

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN AGENTS OF SHIELD.

Winter meant hot chocolates with Fitz under a shared blanket while watching a movie, Christmas, snow and random snowball fights with Fitz, warm sweaters over her blouses, Fitz's scarf around her neck as he took her hand in his when he deemed she was bloody freezing and... And she didn't know when her favourite season started to revolve around Fitz so much..

-5 years old-

Jemma eagerly looked out of the window, watching the snow falling for the first time in her life. She liked the way the white flakes looked against the glass panel: their shapes were really, really pretty. She tried to draw some of them on her drawing book but she didn't really like them there. They weren't as pretty...

She had wanted to go out to see them better and had Mummy dress her with her favourite red , fluffy coat and scarf, mittens and hat that Santa had brought her yesterday for Christmas along with toys and lots and lots of books! Books with words and not only pictures: grown-up books like the ones Mummy and Daddy read.

But now she wanted to go out and see the snowflakes. She wanted to touch them and feel them and see if they were cold as Mummy said.

-:-

Elaine Simmons bundled her daughter as much as she could.

This sudden snowstorm had hit Sheffield quite viciously in the past days, regaling them with a White Christmas that had truly delighted Jemma – it was the first time she ever saw snow- but was slightly worrying her and her husband Jeremy. They hoped that the weather would get milder before they had to get back to work at the Hospital in two days: the thought of being stranded and away from their daughter wasn't something they wanted to even think about.

"Mummy! Hurry up!"

Elaine was drawn out of her thoughts as she heard her daughter's voice. She smiled and gently tied the scarf around her neck.

"I'm almost done, sweetheart," She said, "I don't want you to get cold outside."

"Is snow really so cold, Mummy?" Her brown eyes were big with curiosity. Her little girl was very bright for her age and wanted to know everything and anything that came to her mind.

"It is, Jemma. Remember what I explained to you earlier? It's so cold outside that when it starts to rain, the drops fall down and-.."

"-And freeze! The water drops turn to ice, right Mummy?!" The little girl almost bounced up and down and she repeated her mother's previous explanation.

Elaine smiled tenderly and stood up, gently caressing her daughter's cheek.

"Yes, sweetheart. "

The front door opened and Jeremy walked in, carrying a shovel that he had used to clean a path through their garden to the gate.

"Path's clean," He remarked, looking at his wife with a smile. He then looked down at the little wool bundle in red and white that was his daughter, his smile broadening.

"Now, who's ready to make a snow man?"

"I am, Daddy!" Jemma exclaimed, literally bouncing up and down, her hat flopping around. "You will teach me, right?"

"Of course, sweetheart," He replied. "And we will make snow angels and lots and lots of other fun things.."

Jemma beamed at her father and rushed out of the open door, her parents right behind her, watching their daughter interact with snow for the first time.

Jemma stopped on the threshold as soon as a gust of wind hit her face.

"It's cold, Daddy!" She shrieked, scrunching her nose. She then looked outside and her eyes widened as she saw the garden covered in a white blanket. She turned around with a wide smile. "But it's so pretty!"

Elaine and Jeremy looked at each other and smiled softly. Their baby girl ran out and started dancing in the snow, snowflakes fluttering around her. Happiness was radiating from her.

"Let's go out with Jemma," Jeremy remarked, slipping on his gloves. "Let's make the most with these days that we get to spend with her without thinking of work.."

Elaine nodded, putting on her coat. They only had these two free days before going back to work and her mother would be staying with them for the rest of the holidays until Jemma went to school.

Speaking of school...

"Should we be worried about the school's headmaster wanting to talk to us next week?" She asked, looking at her husband. His brown eyes shone brightly.

"Not at all.." He assured her. "He will just want to tell us that our baby is very smart. I doubt there are many five year olds that can read and write like her. Has she started reading any of the books she got?"

"She was starting the fairy tales collection your mother gave her..." Elaine grinned. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is the first story."

Jeremy grinned back and they both approached their daughter.

The Simmons' family spent the afternoon outside, building snowmen (because one snowman would be alone, so we have to make him some friends, right Daddy?) and snow angels .

When they decided that it was too cold to stay outside (mostly because they were soaked), Elaine started to strip Jemma off her clothes before taking a bath.

"Did you like playing outside in the snow, sweetheart?" She asked, carefully rubbing her daughter's hair and red cheeks with a towel.

Jemma beamed.

"I loved it, Mummy!" She exclaimed enthusiastically, "It is really, really cold but snow is fun. I really like winter: there's my birthday, then Christmas, all the presents and there's snow! And I like it even more because you and Daddy are home and we get to play and stay together all day!"

Elaine's heart melted a little at her girl's honest words. She caught a glimpse of Jeremy standing at the door, smiling at the two of them.

-:-

A week later, the school Director told the Simmons' that Jemma wasn't only very bright but too bright. At least for her current class of four and five years old, so she was going to be moved to Year 2 after the holidays.

They didn't really have much of a say on it.

Jemma was enthusiast that she could learn more. Her only query was whether her new classmates would like her and if they would be her friends.

Elaine and Jeremy told her that they would like her but they both shared the hidden concern that a five year old wasn't going to be easily accepted by a group of seven and eight year old.

They just hoped that Jemma's innocent radiance would help her.

-:-

-10 years old-

Jemma walked out of her classroom, school bag's straps latched on her shoulders, heavy with books and notebooks and headed to her locker. She carefully made her way through the crowded hallways, crammed with students rushing past her as the bell rang announcing the start of winter holidays.

She was the shortest person walking through the throng and had to carefully avoid bags, elbows, instruments or sports' equipment that accidentally (or intentionally, she learned pretty soon) was swung her way.

She was the youngest of the school and yet the brightest. She was already taking advanced classes: senior classes even though she was in her third year of secondary school. Even though she was only ten while her classmates were fourteen or fifteen.

She crouched down to her locker and opened it, barely avoiding a hockey stick to her head.

"Sorry." A boy quickly told her, looking down. She looked up with a smile.

"Don't worry," She said, looking up. Her smile faltered slightly as the boy looked at her, then something close to recognition crossed his eyes and he looked away, hurrying away with his friends.

Of course, this unknown boy would know her. Everyone, from the seventh to the eleventh years, knew who she was.

They called her in many ways. Little freak. Genius freak. Little Genius Freak.

That's what the majority thought she was: a freak.

And though her mind was telling that it wasn't true, that she was just a little bit more intelligent and that's why she had skipped three years, her heart clenched, trying not to get hurt again and softly agreeing with the rest of the students.

She quickly took her books and got up, heading to the exit. Her father should be there waiting for her..

As she walked, she saw a group of girls of her year. They were all huddled together by their lockers, holding their books either casually in their hands or tightly against their bosom, laughing to something one of them had said and talking to each other.

A blonde girl noticed her and waved. She slowed down, waving back. The group turned to look at her as one.

"H-Have a nice Christmas, Mary." She said with a smile, ignoring the sudden attention and trying to act calm.

"You too, Jemma." The girl replied, smiling softly. The other girls nodded at her and they all turned around, ignoring the little ten year old again.

Jemma's heart twisted again as she walked on.

That was something she didn't have.

Friends.

There were people that acknowledged her like Mary Hallows who was gentle and polite with her but wasn't really her friend. There were people who ignored her, like the other girls in the school, not interested in a little, scrawny ten year old who talked too much about school and got excited about biology and chemistry but didn't know anything about boys, boy bands and make-up.

Well.. it was true that she didn't know anything about boys (they were mean to her! Only her cousins Rory and Dean were all right..and they were respectively five and seven years old now..) or make up (but Mum told her that she would teach her soon!) but she knew a bit about music. And she adored books, films and Disney cartoons!

She soon realized, after her first and only attempt to socialize with some of her classmates, that talking about what she liked wouldn't help her.

It only showed them how different she was from them.

It had her marked as the little girl. Literally. Most of the boys of the school, the ones that didn't just ignore her, started teasing her. Making fun of her when she was in class as she answered correctly at any question thrown at her. The little shoves or hits in the halls started but they ended quickly after she told her parents and the teachers talked to everyone.

The teachers were indifferent to her too. Of course, they couldn't favour her but they didn't allow her to be part of something either.

It was almost as though they were scared of her.

What scared Jemma, however, was the fact that she didn't know if she would ever find someone -anyone- that could understand her.

She walked outside and saw her father's car and waved at him, smiling, as he did the same. She made her way through the light blanket of snow.

Her parents understood her. She could talk to them and ask questions that came to her about biology and they would explain and keep up with her reasoning but she had the sinking feeling that this would change at some point.

Jemma wasn't blind or stupid. She knew that she was intelligent and her thirst for knowledge increased day by day. She knew that there would come a day when she would know more than her parents did and they just couldn't understand her any more. Not for their choice but because she was too far away from them.

A small part of her head was telling her to just stop it and be like the others. Stop yearning to know more.

But she couldn't do it.

Her parents had taught her to dream and do everything she could to achieve her dreams. They still told her to do so. She wanted to become a doctor: a biologist. She wanted to make her parents proud of her.

She kicked the ground with her boots and a bit of snow flew around her.

She could build a snowman this evening. It was too early to start the homework she had: she could start that tomorrow. She could treat herself a free evening and have some fun.

Dad would drop her home and then go to work, being back with Mum for dinner. She could build a snowman and then read that amazing sci-fi novel Dad had given her and wait for them.

She ignored the slight pang in her chest when she thought that it would have been nice to have a brother or sister to play with. It would have been less... lonely.

She had asked her Mum years ago and she never talked about it again. Her Mum's face was so sad when she told her that she couldn't have other babies and then so unbelievingly happy when she hugged her and said that Jemma was her little miracle.

Jemma decided that that it didn't matter if she was lonely.

She had her parents who loved her. Her grandmother, uncles, aunts and cousins that loved her as well (although she got to see them rarely if not for the holidays..).

She would do as her parents said: appreciate what she had and smile. It was her favourite season, it would be Christmas in a few days and she would get to see her whole family.

'Everything will be fine..'

-:-

Jeremy drove and smiled as Jemma chattered about school and homework. He quickly glanced at his little girl, seeing how her eyes shone when she spoke of science.

She was so bright... Both he and Elaine were so proud of her.

"What are you going to do today?" He asked. "First day of the winter holidays so I am obliging you not to study."

Jemma giggled.

"Daddy, you are probably the only parent that prohibits his daughter to do her homework!"

"Well... I am a Modern-Day father..." Jemma laughed loudly. He smiled and pressed on. "Well?"

"Oh.. I wanted to build a snowman in the garden! I didn't have a chance to do it yet and it won't be Christmas if there isn't a snowman outside."

Jeremy nodded, quickly hiding a slight grimace at the fact that she was alone to keep up with this small family tradition. Jemma noticed immediately.

"Or maybe, I can wait until Rory and Dean arrive and we could all build it together! You and Uncle Andrew could help too. What do you think, Daddy?"

"Yes, we could," He asserted. "But then what would you do today?"

"I was also thinking about reading the book you gave me."

"What about your... friends?" Jeremy ventured carefully. "You could call them, ask them to come over or go over to their house."

"Everyone is really busy now, so close to Christmas. I will stay at home and read your book, Daddy." She gave him a brilliant smile.

Jeremy nodded again, holding back a sigh at his daughter's standard and curt answer.

Jemma had never had a friend come home with her. She had never gone to a friend's house either.

He could see the loneliness behind her eyes but his little girl, his sweetheart, always put up a brave face and a radiant smile and moved on.

It was the thing that he and Elaine had feared the most: Jemma to be shunned by her peers because of her intelligence and young age.

No ten year old should be so lonely and be forced to have such an adult-like attitude.

He just hoped that someone would come forward and just see the beautiful person that was behind the child genius.

-:-

He got his wish when Jemma graduated, four years later. She was offered a scholarship to MIT along with another child genius and when they were called to London by the Education Department's Secretary of State to discuss about it, the Simmons' met Leo Fitz and his family.

-:-

-15 years old-

Jemma's gloved hand held the phone tightly against her ear, eyes looking up as the snowflakes flew around fast. These sudden snow blizzards had been common these past days: she just had to wait till it stopped and then make a run to her dorm.

"Jemma? Sweetheart? Are you still there?" Her mother's voice sounded distant on the phone.

"Yes, Mum," She replied, focusing on the conversation and not the weather. "It's just snowing hard and I have taken shelter in one of the campus' cafés: that's the reason for disturbed signal."

"Oh, all right.. What are you doing out in that weather anyway? On Christmas Eve?"

"I had to buy some last minute Christmas presents," She replied quickly. Namely, Fitz's present. It had taken her a while to find him something.

"Did you get something for Leo?" Jemma felt her face go warm at her Mum's teasing tone. She was always going on and on about the two of them being very close despite knowing each other for less than six months.

The two of them were close, yes, but there wasn't anything romantic going on. They just... clicked.

They could talk, discuss and argue about their study fields (she never realized how much biochemistry and engineering could be similar at times...) and segued on any other subject.

It was amazing to find someone with whom she could talk, really talk.

There was a link between them, an understanding that went beyond academics.

Fitz knew what it meant to feel like an outsider from childhood. He knew how it felt to be alone if though there are people around you.

"Yes, Mum. I got him a small gift." It wasn't just for Christmas. It was also to thank him for being there for her. For being there when she lost her composure and just cried her eyes out shortly after her birthday when they learned that they couldn't leave the US and be home for Christmas because even though their scholarships covered the travel expenses, two flight tickets in 6 months was too much.

The underlying homesickness had erupted all together and she just started crying on the couch in their shared dorm where Leo found her coming back from class.

He had been hesitant, unsure on what to do. She knew that he didn't feel comfortable in touching or hugging but nevertheless, he sat down next to her and gently moved her head to his shoulder, allowing her to cry there as he slowly ran his fingers through her hair.

He had offered to go talk with the Administration Board, suggesting to let her leave alone, letting her use his share of travel expenses too, if they allowed it, but she refused.

As much as she yearned to be with her family, she couldn't really get herself to leave him behind. Alone.

His family situation was still...cloudy. She knew that his mother was in a wheelchair -she had met her and instantly liked her- and his father had died when he was eight – he had mentioned him once briefly. She suspected that there must have been an accident at some point during his life but she never asked about it, waiting for him to tell her when he was ready. His sister called many times, either on phone or Skype while his brother -who she knew existed only because she saw the Fitz family photo in Leo's room- never did.

He always looked as though he was torn between being close and far from his family. There was always a melancholic hint in his eyes when he talked with his mother or sister.

She couldn't imagine what it meant to feel alone in your family and outside with the rest of the world.

It stopped snowing, she noticed and she took it as a cue to leave her shelter and walk back to her dorm.

"What are your plans for tonight?" Her mother asked softly. She could sense the sadness in her tone: it was the first Christmas that they didn't spend together. She tried to keep her own sadness at bay.

"Well, I will cook something for dinner," She replied brightly and started listing a series of recipes that her mother and grandmother were really good at. Jemma smiled as her Mum gave her small cooking suggestions, the previous sadness gone.

She was at her dorm a few minutes later.

"Mum, I have to go now," She said, stopping outside the building and looking up at her room's window. She saw a set of fairy lights set inside and smiled: Fitz had said that he would have taken care of the decorations..

"All right, sweetheart. Have fun today and we will talk to each other tomorrow."

"Yes, I will call tomorrow morning after opening your presents." She smiled softly. "Give Dad and Granny a big hug and send my love to everyone. I love you, Mum."

"Love you too, sweetheart." Her mother's voice was thick and Jemma felt her throat constrict but didn't give in to the tears.

"Bye."

She quickly put her phone away and headed upstairs. The hallways were deserted: she realized that they had the dorm to themselves. She walked to their door and smiled as she saw the wreath of holly hanging outside. When she got in, she was greeted by a welcoming warmth, Christmas carols playing from Fitz's laptop and the Scottish student standing in the middle of their common room. He turned to her with a smile.

"Hey, you are back," He said, "Well, what do you think? Too much?"

She took off her coat and scarf and looked around.

"Fitz, it's perfect." She beamed at him. He grinned back.

There were lights throughout the room, by the window and on the door frames. The small Christmas tree that they had arranged despite classes and lectures had a stream of colourful lights on it and was perched on a small table, a series of gifts already beneath it.

Fitz dimmed the room's lights so their dorm was glowing in Christmas lights now.

"Glad to know you like it," He said, turning the lights on. He looked quite proud of himself and he was smiling. She felt her lips tug upwards at that: he was contagious when he was in this mood.

She quickly put her garments in her room and dropped Fitz's present under the tree before heading to the kitchenette. It wasn't much but she could make a decent dinner.

And Fitz had tinkered with the old stove and oven, making them both work flawlessly.

"I've come up with a menu," she remarked, quickly washing her hands in the sink. "Mince pies, roast potatoes, green salad and sprouts..and the cake I bought yesterday. What do you think?" She had gotten the ingredients out as she listed them.

Fitz stared at her in awe.

"Sounds awesome...and mouth watering," He admitted. "How can I help?" She was about to shake her head when he approached her. "No. None of that. You're not slaving on the stove the whole evening alone."

"You did all the decorations while I was out."

"I only put the lights and some ornaments around. The tree was your doing while I was stuck in that Mechanical Physics evening lecture."

She stared at him. He had come back and found her decorating the little tree with some random balls, stars and ornaments that she had brought in an open market nearby. They had spent the night decorating the tree together, exchanging stories of past Christmases.

It had been nice to do it together. And he looked so eager now...

"Alright... Wash and peel the potatoes, please."

He grinned and set to work. She failed to hide her grin.

-:-

Dinner was almost done: they just had to wait for the pies and potatoes to bake and it would take a while.

Jemma looked out of the window and stared at the candid, untouched blanket of snow in front of their dorm.

"Anything wrong?"

She turned and saw Fitz standing next to her, blue eyes slightly concerned.

"No, don't worry," She assured him.

"Are you thinking of home?"

"I'm not homesick." He arched a brow and she good-naturedly rolled her eyes. "Alright, I am still a bit homesick but I was just thinking about our little Christmas traditions.." He looked at her curiously and leaned against the window sill.

"What do you usually do?" He asked.

"Well... We decorated and cooked together-"

"You can check that out from the list since we did that already." She glanced at him and smiled.

"Yes..I'm just being silly, Fitz. Don't mind me.."

"But-"

"No. Really. I mean.. We're growing up, right? It's the process.. Something has to be left behind and you just have to make new things. In this case, new traditions."

"Well..you can do both, Jemma," she looked at him. "You can make new traditions and continue following the older ones. It's not really necessary to leave them back." He looked at her with a small smile.

Jemma blinked. His simple logic had somehow baffled her.

"So.. what Simmons' Christmas tradition is still missing?" He asked.

"It's..silly..." she mumbled, blushing. He grinned cheekily.

"Nothing scandalous I hope.."

"Oh Fitz!" She rolled her eyes and bumped him with her hip. He swayed in place, laughing slightly. She chuckled along with him.

She liked this carefree side of him. She liked seeing him smile, joke and be so easygoing. And, surprisingly, she liked that she could be so at ease with him too.

The first weeks of their living together had been slightly..awkward. Having never lived with anyone but family, living with a complete stranger of the same age and opposite sex had been a bit disconcerting. This added to the fact that they were alone in another country.

It had taken a few days to get used to their dorm and MIT, in general. Then another more to get used to each other's presence. Then they had fallen into a routine of lunches, teas and dinners together, of study sessions in the library or in their rooms and of quiet evenings of reading together or watching a movie or a TV-series on the couch.

Jemma's heart couldn't contain the happiness of finally having a friend. A friend that she was learning to know and understand. Someone that she could learn to trust. Someone that wouldn't laugh about her..

And she hoped that he would trust her back as well.

She looked at him as the setting sun's light hit his curly hair, his eyes blue and bright, his smile soft. She looked at his wristwatch.

"Can you set an alarm on that?" She asked.

"Er-yes," he replied, surprised at her question. "Why?"

"Set it to ring in..." She looked at the clock on the wall. "Fifty minutes."

He did as was told, confusion still clear on his face. "Done."

Jemma beamed and reached out for his elbow, dragging him to their rooms.

"Come on, then, put your coat on."

"Why?"

"Because we have fifty minutes to build the Simmons' traditional snowman, Future-Engineer-Fitz."

She waited for any reaction on his face and beamed when he smiled broadly at her.

-:-

Jemma didn't remember having so much fun in the snow since she was a toddler.

They had bundled up and rushed down the courtyard, thundering down the stairs like children, aware that the dorm was empty and that no one would complain. And they started to build the snowman together.

Or the snowmen because somehow along the way, Fitz had started to talk about the Three Monkeys statue at the Tosho-gu shrine in Japan and they had attempted to build the snowy equivalents. How they ended up talking about the shrine was beyond her.. She wasn't surprised about the monkeys: Fitz loved them and had the tendency to slip a comment about them whenever he could. She found this little quirk of his quite endearing.

As they played with the snow (there really wasn't any other way to put it..), she explained how she always built a snowman before or shortly after Christmas with her father or cousins. How it became a tradition and her favourite game during her favourite season. Fitz smiled, understanding her feelings. He told her, slowly and cautiously, of a similar tradition that he used to have with his siblings when they were younger. They would build a snowman each and their parents would judge them on Christmas, the winner getting the largest piece of cake at dinner or another gift under the tree.

"But there really wasn't one winner," Fitz explained with a fond smile, reminiscing, "The cake pieces would be all larger or the additional gift would be a game that the three of us could play together."

His smile faded and she had to hide a frown as he explained how they stopped doing this when he was eight and his father passed away. His mother couldn't come out in the snow in her wheelchair and Bryce, his elder brother, didn't even bother to get out. It was his elder sister Alison that tried to keep up the tradition, mostly for his sake, he realized. But his snowman would be destroyed when he went to see it on Christmas. He knew that it had been Bryce but didn't have any proof. Alison would argue with him and their mother would try to calm them down. After two years of this, Fitz stopped the tradition and Alison had to stop trying as well.

Jemma felt something raw in her throat, understanding a bit of his pain. He shrugged and shook his head.

"That's the past," He said and glanced at their snowmen. "These ones look brilliant, don't they?"

Jemma had to laugh at his tone and at their snowmen miming the Three monkeys: one with eyes closed, one with ears closed and the last with his mouth closed.

They took a picture with his phone in front of their snow creations, both smiling and his watch started ringing, announcing that they had to get dinner ready.

-:-

Jemma was on the couch, some Christmas movie playing on TV and watched as Fitz rummaged in the kitchenette. She wondered if he was still hungry: they had literally polished off everything at dinner, after a hot shower, but maybe he still wanted something more. She vaguely remembered her mother mentioning teenage boys' ravenous appetites and even though he was lanky and thin and completely unlike the majority of them, Fitz was one too.

He walked back, holding two mugs and handed one to her before sitting down. Jemma took the mug with a curious look.

"Hot chocolate with candy cane mint," Fitz explained. "I have been meaning to try this for a while.."

"Have you now?" She remarked teasingly, taking a sip. And she closed her eyes, making an appreciative sound in the back of her throat as the rich taste hit her taste buds.

"Good?" He asked, taking a sip himself and sighed softly. "No, scratch that. This is-"

"-wonderful," She finished. "We're having this every year at Christmas from now on."

He looked at her curiously and she felt a blush on her cheeks. Whatever was she thinking, saying that aloud..?!

"I mean.. If you want to.. I suppose we will be having other Christmases together..here. And-"

"Jemma.." He cut her rambling with a smile. "I understood and I agree: this is a new tradition to add to our Christmases."

She smiled back and they both drank a bit more. From afar, they heard a clock chime. It was midnight.

It was Christmas.

"Happy Christmas, Jemma."

She turned to Fitz and realized that this had been one of the best Christmas Eves of her life.

"Happy Christmas… Leo."

He looked pleasantly surprised at the usage of his first name but she hurried to explain.

"I..I hope you don't mind. You always told me that everyone calls you Fitz but.. You do call me Jemma and since-since we are friends, I would like to call you Leo.."

He stared at her and then rubbed the back of his neck, a blush making its way on his face.

"I-I don't mind," He stammered, looking adorably flustered. "I suppose that we should be both in first name basis...being friends." He looked at her. "We are friends." He looked almost incredulous.

"Best friends." She ventured, smile broadening on her face.

"Yeah.." he agreed.

They stayed in silence for a moment before they both got up from the couch.

"I got you something." They said in unison.

"You first." "No. You first."

They stared at each other and nodded.

"Together."

The both walked to the Christmas tree, grabbed their packages and then sat back on the couch in perfect sync. Jemma glanced at Fi-Leo and handed him his gift. He blinked and did the same.

"Come on, open it," She insisted, taking his gift and leaving it on her lap.

"Er- alright." He said and started to gently rip the paper. She watched him carefully, heartbeat increasing with the doubt that he wouldn't like it. It was the first time that she had to choose a gift for someone outside her family.

She watched his eyes widen in surprise and then he smiled, happily, and looked at her. She found herself smiling back in relief.

"You got me a TARDIS!" He exclaimed, holding the small blue object in his hand.

"Well..you did say that you didn't have any Doctor Who memorabilia.." She said, glad that he liked his present.

He looked at her curiously and she felt warmth spread across her face as he smiled softly.

"Thank you, Jemma." He said. She smiled back, looking down at her lap and taking his gift to her. It was a small, thin package; probably a book or a DVD by the looks of it.

"It's not much..." He whispered, rubbing his neck with his free hand. "Yours is so much better.."

"Oh, hush..." She retorted and carefully opened the present. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw the familiar cover, a slight pang in her chest. Snow White and Seven Dwarves' Deluxe DVD.

"You...You did mention that it's your favourite and-"

"-that I had to leave my copy home because it was too worn," She looked at him, feeling tears pricking her eyes. "Thank you, Leo. This is perfect."

He blushed.

"We could watch it, if you want to..." He said tentatively, getting up and holding out a hand to take the dvd. She handed it out to him with an eager nod.

They spent the night watching the movie, sipping their chocolates together under one of her old blankets when the dorm's heating went down.

All in all, it had been one of their best Christmases..

-:-

The following Christmas had started as their worst.

They didn't realize it at first, both happy to be on their way home to spend the holidays with their families. It was only at the airport in London, when their families came to pick them up that they realized that they wouldn't be together.

Jemma had watched Leo leave with a heavy heart but understood that it was just for ten days. They had already been apart when they came back at the beginning of the year: they had called each other on the phone or Skype or text. This being a holiday, Christmas, wouldn't change that..right?

She tried not to think about the fact that their last (and only) separation had been three days..

The urge to text him as soon as she got into the car was immense but she restrained herself, thinking that he was with his family and would want some time with them.

She waited until the day after, Christmas Eve, and sent him a single text.

[16:25. To Leo:] Can I call you?

He called her less than a minute later and they spent an hour on the phone.

Their mothers noticed this of course: they had seen how restless they both were. They realized how codependent they had become. It was as though they didn't know how to be alone any more..

Elaine Simmons and Lena Fitz noticed how Jemma and Leo just smiled differently while talking on the phone with each other. That Christmas a new tradition was made when Elaine called Lena later in the evening and on Christmas Eve, the Simmons' were on their way to Glasgow to celebrate with the Fitz.

Leo and Jemma didn't spend one holiday apart ever since..

-:-

-20 years old-

"Do we really have to buy all of this things, Simmons?"

"Yes, Fitz, and please, stop complaini-"

"I'm not complaining. I am just asking! We got back yesterday from my house and now you're buying enough food for another Christmas feast."

"That's because our classes start tomorrow and between lectures, labs, lessons, projects -we have put the final adjustments to our work for Professor Cadman, by the way- we won't have time to do the groceries and-" She turned to look at him, shopping list in her hand and eyebrow arched in amusement. "I'm not the one that roams around the house, claiming that I'm starving when I don't find something that suits me in the fridge."

Fitz blushed furiously.

"That happened once," He grumbled and grabbed a bag of oranges, putting it into their shopping cart.

"I beg to differ," She retorted, mentally ticking off his addition to the cart from the list. "Hmm..Apples." She looked at the fruit display in front of her. "Fuji or Stark?" She asked, turning to him.

"Stark of course."

"Why do I bother to ask...?" She mumbled, taking a bag, failing to hide a smile as he grinned.

They quickly did their shopping, talking as they added items to their cart, bickering as she attempted to stop Fitz from adding more bags of french fries and chips than necessary.

Jemma used their common money to pay while Fitz put everything in the bags. She was going to help him carry the bags out when the cashier stopped her.

"Miss, your boyfriend forgot this out," She said and held out a pack of men's razor blades. The ones Fitz used to shave.

Jemma felt her face flush.

"H-he's not my-"

"Ach..Sorry. I missed that." Fitz quickly stepped forward and took the packet, putting it in one of the bags before turning to leave. She noticed that the back of his neck was red.

"Thank you," She said to the cashier and left after him.

"Fitz.." She called, seeing how he was walking unbalanced by the weight of three shopping bags. He didn't seem to hear her and just walked on.

Things between them were edgy at times. It wasn't something that happened constantly but there were moments when they just couldn't look at each other.

Something had changed in their dynamics ever since they had decided to enter the Academy.

Since their fight when he decided to quit everything and live in Scotland where he could help his mother and just let her go on alone. It had taken them arguing harshly for hours to get him to admit that he truly wanted to come with her as it had been his brother's venomous words to seed doubt in his head.

It had taken her a while to force some sense in him, to tell him to do what he really wanted. Not what others expected him to do.

And then he kissed her.

And something changed. In her. In him. In them.

Jemma blushed slightly, recalling that kiss. Heated. Passionate. Hands roaming up her face, through her hair and then down her back as she did the same.

They had shared three kisses throughout their five years of friendship: one after their graduation, out of pure curiosity and helped by the fact they were both a little bit tipsy, the second to spite his brother Bryce who was teasing him mercilessly with his friends at his sister's wedding and then...that.

She didn't have experience in long lasting friendships but she knew enough to understand that kissing your best friend wasn't an expected behaviour.

And having mixed feeling towards said friend, a friend with whom she shared a dorm room and with whom she was together every moment, wasn't usual either.

She shook her head, clearing all thoughts and concentrated on Fitz now.

"Fitz!" She called, stopping him, grabbing his arm. He swayed precariously on the spot.

"Simmons, take it easy!" He said.

"Come on, you prat, let me help you."

He looked at her, blue eyes cautious. She smiled at him softly.

"Come on, Fitz.."

He reluctantly handed her a bag. A gust of wind hit them both, making Jemma shiver. He frowned.

"You cold?" He asked, putting the bags down. She rolled her eyes.

"It's January, Fitz. I'm bound to be cold."

He stared at her. She felt her face flush at his scrutiny.

"Your scarf is useless," he muttered and removed the large, woolly one that he was wearing from his neck.

"Fitz, what-?" She stopped talking as he wrapped the scarf around her neck. It was warm and smelled of mint, solder and metal and something that was typically Fitz. "But...what about you?"

"I'm fine," he replied, straightening the high collared sweater he was wearing,then taking the bags and walking. She trotted along his side. "How can you like winter so much when you're always bloody freezing?"

She scoffed lightly.

"Easy for you... Being Scottish and hot-blooded and never cold.." She replied, tightening his scarf around her neck. "And you are male. Your winter clothing is more suitable for this season."

"Suitable?" He asked, turning to her with an arched brow.

"Have you seen my sweaters?"

"Yeah.. I do our laundry too, remember?"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"What I'm saying is that my thickest sweater is paper thin compared to yours. It's a bit unfair, actually.."

Fitz looked at her thoughtfully.

"Hmm.. is that why you steal my sweaters when we're home?" He smirked as she blushed.

"That happened once.." She mumbled. She had been freezing that evening and his blue sweater looked very, very warm...

"I beg to differ," he answered with a cheeky grin. She bumped him with her hip and laughed along with him.

Entering the Academy had been both a blessing and a curse, she realized, as she walked along his side towards their dorm.

They were seen as valuable scientists. Brilliant alone but outstanding as a pair. They were together in most (oh.. all right.. all..) the projects and finished them before anyone else.

Professors had started calling them FitzSimmons nowadays. A sole unit. One entity.

But the Academy was not Uni. There were additional rules and more secrecy.

Two weeks there and she and Fitz had stopped calling each other by their first name but by their last, just like everyone else did. It wasn't an obligation but somehow the unspoken Academy rule to be less intimate with each other had reached them too.

She missed calling him Leo, sometimes..

Their interactions were still the same. More in sync now that they were also studying together full-time. They had come to the point where they finished each other's thoughts and sentences.

It would be all perfect... if it wasn't for that kiss.

They both had quickly defined that kiss as an irrational action, a moment where they were sure to lose each other. They were both sure that they were going to be alone again.

And it was partly true... but not entirely.

She knew that there had always been that possibility. The possibility for them to step further and be more than friends and partners. To be lovers.

That possibility had revealed itself after that kiss but they had both been too scared to go on.

She had been terrified to take a step forward and lose the only person that understood her so completely. She was still scared about these lingering feelings that have been claiming her heart ever since they kissed.

She knew that Fitz was feeling the same and shared her same doubts. She had noticed his reactions around her whenever people made comments about them. She had lost count of the times they had been mistaken for a couple.

But he was also reacting against it.

He tended to flirt with girls, talk to them and get them to laugh at his jokes. He wasn't so lanky and scrawny any more. He had gotten taller, his accent and blue eyes caught girls' attention. He noticed them too and asked them out for a cup of coffee.

He had a date that very afternoon with a girl of their Chemical Kinetics class.

She had felt something, a slight pang in the chest but nevertheless had smiled and listened as he talked about it. Given advice too.

However, she did notice how he looked when a boy came to talk to her. His eyes would harden, shoulders tense and jaw lock for a moment.

She didn't know what to think of this.

It was all so confusing... But she was going to react to. She had to.

"Simmons?"

"Hmm?" She turned to him. He was staring at her.

"You spaced out. We're here." They were in front of their room.

"Oh.." She quickly took out her keys and opened the door.

"Are you alright?" He asked, depositing the bags on the small kitchen's table.

"I'm fine, Fitz," she assured him. She looked at him and saw the glint of concern in his eyes. "Really. I was just thinking about many things together.."

He nodded at her, still unsure. She took off her coat and his scarf and handed it out to him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome.." He murmured back. He went to empty the contents of one of the shopping bags when she stopped him.

"I'll do it, don't worry. You will be late with your date with Fields."

He stared at her.

"Well..No, I'll help and then-"

"No, really, Fitz. You have to be there at 4 o'clock, right? Come on, you've got half an hour," She walked past him, carrying a carton of milk and gently nudged him on the shoulder with her shoulder. "Go, get prepared."

He kept looking at her and for a fleeting second, she hoped that he would say that he wasn't going and that he would rather stay with her.

When he nodded slowly and retreated to his room, she berated herself because, of course, Fitz liked her presence and staying with her but he also wanted to be with other people. Other women.

She had almost ordered everything when he came out, holding his blue sweater.

"Here." He thrust the garment in her hands.

"Fitz..?" She looked at him in confusion.

"It looked better on you... and you did seem to like it a lot," he remarked, smiling slightly. She blushed. "I'll be back for dinner. You know what, I can pick up something coming back: Chinese or Thai?"

She smiled at him.

"Chinese sounds good.."

"All right.. Chinese then. I'll pick up the usual.." He grinned. "We could try the Thai tomorrow at lunch. What do you think?"

"I'm sorry, Fitz..." She replied, feeling something twist in her stomach. "I..promised Richard Hayton -remember, from Photonic lab- to have a cup of coffee together tomorrow at lunch."

She tried to ignore that his eyes flashed with something close to hurt. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach again.

"Oh..Well, we can try it another day." He picked up his coat and she noticed how he seemed to fumble with the buttons as he put it on with gloved hands.

Something twisted in her heart. She went to help him, swatting his hands away.

"How about a movie after dinner?" She asked with a smile. "Your pick...but nothing with Apes or Monkeys."

He looked at her for a moment before smiling softly.

"All right.." He remarked.

He wrapped his scarf around his neck and turned to leave.

"See you later," She whispered. "Have fun.." It came out so softly that she wondered if he heard her.

"See you later.." He replied.

She walked back to her room with his sweater in her arms.

They were friends. Nothing more.

Then why did it sound like a lie...?

-:-

It was a lie.

She found out years later when she was throwing her life away, jumping off a plane with him screaming her to stop, that it was a lie.

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