This is a serious story. If you need suicide help, I want you to know... SOMEBODY DOES CARE. I PROMISE THAT SOMEBODY WILL WANT YOU TO LIVE. If you're convinced that you're not wanted or not loved... There will be somebody looking to help you in the future. Somebody will care. The Suicide Prevention center, the suicide help line, GO TO SOMEBODY WHO WILL HELP YOU!

Dedicated to those who are bullied, depressed, suicidal, or cutting themselves. I want you to live.

Takes place before Tick Tock, but after Home. The quotes don't belong to me.

Zane wrapped his arms around his chest, eyes glued to the wall in pain and sadness. Another day of pain was about to go by. Zane wasn't sure he could make it any longer than a few days. His fellow ninja couldn't understand how vulnerable he was- what they thought was just a joke or a tease was hurtful. It was hard for him to breathe at the moment as he glared at the cracks on the boards. He felt like things were out of control- his 'friends' didn't understand or accept him, he had his own personal gang of bullies, and he couldn't help but repeat this process daily.

Zane picks up a bottle of pills, Advil, and stared at it, whispering, "If I take you, my friend, will I die...?"

The bottle held the promise of an escape from all the pain in Zane's life. His eyes glassed over with the need to use them, because he just wanted out of this. There are a lot of terrible things in this world.

You could never understand. Not you in your perfect little world.

Setting the pills down, he whispers, "I can't do this... Not yet... I-I have to try harder... Something that won't kill me..."

He looked regretful as he set them down. Zane hadn't bothered to comb his hair. What was the point of looking nice if you felt absolutely worthless anyways? He didn't see the point of reason.

They tell me to stay strong, keep fighting; but they don't understand... I've already lost.

Zane reaches under his bed and pulls out a knife. Feeling a sick satisfaction as he grips the familiar handle, he knows that it will make him feel better. He begins to cry softly in their shared room on the bounty. What was wrong with him? Why did he have to cut to feel okay?!

"I'm worthless," He growls as he bleeds.

He couldn't help himself. He quietly smiled as he ran the knife across his wrists and arms, feeling stress flowing out with the blood. He was smiling because it felt good, but crying in simple self-hatred. Kai, Cole, and Jay walk in not too long after Zane finally stops dragging the blade across his arm and hides the blade. The blood pooled beside Zane's bed is left unnoticed to soak into the wood...

"Nerd!"

"Loser!"

"Stupid!"

"Worthless!"

Zane closed his eyes against the painful tears in his eyes. Their words were like bullets. Why couldn't they just kill him already? It would be kinder than this... He turned and ran home to find the bottle of pills and the alcohol he kept hidden beneath the bed.

I lay in bed, for hours in the dark, at night, thinking about every possible thing I fucked up in my life.

Zane quietly goes to his room and pulls out the knife. He looks at it. He poises it at the bottom of his fingertip. Kai bursts into the room just in time to see Zane about to kill himself.

Kai quietly asks, "... Zane? Bro? Y-you..."

"... Sorry..." Zane manages as he slowly rips it up his arm.

Kai screams at him furiously, "DONT DO THAT!"

"I'm tired of this life... The bullying... The hatred... I can't take it anymore.. I don't even love myself..." Zane hisses.

Kai bluntly says, "I love you! I care! Please, don't!"

"NOBODY LOVES ME. I AM HATED. I AM STUPID. I DESERVE TO DIE..."

"I LOVE YOU! I DONT HATE YOU! YOURE THE BEST! YOU DESERVE TO LIVE!"

Kai takes the blade away from him desperately- he really did want Zane to live! If Zane died, he would never forgive himself for not noticing his emotional distress. He needed Zane to understand, this was not his fault. There was nothing wrong with cutting yourself, it was just something that happened... You find our it helps make the pain go away, and you wanted to keep doing that. But one day... It just stops helping.

"Zane," Kai snarls,"Listen to me."

"..."

"I love you more than the stars in the sky, and the diamonds in the earth, and the fish in the sea. You're worth more to me than that."

Zane cried Into Kai's shoulder.