Chapter 15: Never Letting Go

Apparently now was not the end of Finnick's time in this world after all. In fact, he had been saved through the very plan that Haymitch had originally wheeled him in with because it meant that he could save Annie. It had not saved Annie though but it had saved him, well the shell of him because that was all he was without her. At first, he had not even been aware that Haymitch had not saved his beloved; it was not until Katniss appeared and he heard her say that the Infirmary was empty save for Beetee. In other words, no Annie Cresta and no Peeta Mellark and no Johanna Mason. The one of course that had affected him the most was the absence of Annie, his sweet Annie. After he had discovered this, all of his life became snippets of painful wakefulness and nearly as painful sleep. Sleep was especially painful when the nightmares came, and they did often, however sleep could also be the most blissful thing ever. It was in sleep that there wasn't the broken promises he'd been beating himself up over during his waking hours. Even when he was awake, he was not always there because after all he was only a shell of his former self without her there. If not for Katniss he probably would have just faded out of existence, she in her loss gave him a purpose to at least survive not quite live to the fullest but survive.

"Finnick?" Haymitch called walking into his room into District 13's Psychiatric Ward, ignoring him Finnick rolled over onto his side, pulled the covers sullenly over his head, and stared blankly at the wall. To anyone else this might have been a strange reaction because this man had saved his life but this man had also broken a promise, the most important one Finnick had ever forced someone else to make. This drunken savior had left Annie to die because she had a heart and had gone after Peeta all for the sake of ensuring that Haymitch's damn plan would go perfectly. Well it did Haymitch; you have your precious Mockingjay with Katniss Everdeen here in District 13 but you left Annie, Peeta, and Jo at the mercy of the Capitol and for that Finnick would never forgive him.

"Hey Finn." Katniss' voice reached his ears startling him. He must have lost track of time again because Haymitch had yet to be in the same room as Katniss since she had added three nice claw marks to the large amount of scars that had already populated his tan face. Looking over at her, his sea green eyes met her gray orbs and she sighed; must have noticed the dark circles under his empty sea green eyes, the fact his hair had not been brushed in weeks, and the way his cheek bones stood out obviously due to the fact that he had not been eating nearly enough.

"Katniss, came to visit me? You're so sweet." He purred trying to retain a little of the charm and joking nature that he'd had before. Before, that was the best way to put it Finnick decided as he looked back at all that had happened since being "saved" out of the kindness of Haymitch's alcoholic heart.

"You came to visit me Finn." She replied looking a little confused. Looking over at her he realized how pale she too was and that made him wince, he may be falling to pieces but he didn't think that she was as bad off as he was. At least she had her family, his was dead and so was Annie's and that alone made him want to curl up in a little ball, close his eyes, and clamp his hands over his ears until the memories went away. Except the huntress' words didn't make sense, unless…

"Was I wandering again?" The broken twenty-four year old asked and she sighed in response. He must have been wandering again. Lovely soon he would be back to the ward for testing again if the big guard next to Katniss had his way.

"I don't think so." Katniss replied giving him a pointed look and then glancing over at the nameless bear of a guard. "I think you must have heard about the deal I am signing with President Coin." Starring at her a little confused, Finnick wracked his brains trying to remember that name but it didn't come to mind automatically. Shaking his head at that, he gave her a look as his brain worked overtime trying to figure out why Katniss had not told him this earlier; perhaps it was what Haymitch had wanted to tell him.

"What is included in the deal?" Finnick asked still feeling really left out and watched as Katniss visibly sighed.

"I told you yesterday but you must have been asleep." Even in her annoyance at his inability to keep up anymore like he had prior to the Incident, she still kept her cool and didn't threaten him like she might have pre-Incident. If only she understood, that was all his life was anymore: Before Annie left, the Incident when Annie left, and After was the hell his life had become since Annie left. "I'm becoming their Mockingjay on the condition that they give all the captured Victors immunity and District 13 will save them from the Capitol."

"Annie." Finnick whispered excitedly and earned a smile even from the burly grizzly bear guard he originally had thought to be a little callous.

"Yes Finn, your Annie is going to be safe." Katniss said with the smile he was undoubtedly certain that she used when she talked to wounded animals or Prim, was he that broken? "Your Annie and my…uh…just Peeta." Usually he would have picked up on this but take it easy on poor Finny-boy he is still a little out of it. Even still things got better for Finnick after that, he had a reason to live because if Annie, no, when Annie got back he had to be ready to greet her with a big smile on his face because she'd need help. He'd promised to fix her and she would surely need fixing. But to fix her, he had to fix himself first.

…

A few months went by during which Finnick tried his best, and according to some he was completely fixed. Mrs. Everdeen and Haymitch apparently thought he was put back together enough to go sleep in his own room, alone with only the nightmares for company. Beetee trusted him with a trident; a super awesome trident that was technologically so advanced that even with all of his ample free time Finnick was unable to understand it completely. Katniss still thought he was funny after he'd put on his old acting-self and flashed his boxer shorts. Gale was asking him for tips on how to get girls and had even asked him to go hunting with him once; in the end Finnick had politely declined to both though. The truth was that no matter what all of those people above thought, he was still empty because a huge part of him was missing; the Annie part.

"Are you ready to see Annie?" Katniss asked as she sat down beside Finnick in Beetee's little ray of sunshine, the Hummingbird Room. Smirking to himself, Finnick nodded knowing that the huntress was only trying to distract herself from the idea of potentially losing both Peeta and her Gale. Not to say that Katniss didn't care about Annie and Jo also coming back safe but she was mostly worried about her beloved and her best friend. Apparently Gale had a thing for Katniss but Finnick refused to believe that no matter how many times Gale nodded towards Katniss and waggled his eyebrows seductively. Katniss may think that she liked Gale now but Finnick knew that when push came to shove Peeta would be the one that ended up putting a ring on that girl's finger if they lived long enough. If he was lucky enough to live this long, he prayed that he could too put a ring on a certain District 4 Victor's finger himself but that was if and only if she was saved today.

"I've been ready ever since she left me." Honesty had always been difficult for Finnick who had been forced to be an actor nearly 24/7 since he had won the Games, but at that moment it had flowed from his lips easily. The only person Finnick had not had to act around was Annie, even his whole family failed to understand the horrors he had seen and lived through, so little Finn had learned to act like everything was okay, like he was whole.

"How did you know that she was the one? I mean there were thousands of women you had been with. What made Annie so different?" Her gray eyes searched his as he looked over at a butterfly sitting lightly on a purple flower blowing from the wind caused by the AC outside the little Butterfly Room. Thinking to himself, he wondered when it had been exactly. There were different ways in which he realized that she was the one. First there was the time that she at twelve years old had given him the strength to fight for life and win his Games. Next there was when she got Reaped and he wanted to cry with her little brother who was too young to understand. After that came the days, weeks, and months where he had sat beside her and tried desperately to put her back together. During that time, Finnick (who had up until this point refused to admit that he was broken at all) realized that while putting her back together he had put himself back together. Or there was the time when Annie promised to be his girl in their odd way of communicating.

"Ground control to Major Tom?"Katniss prodded quoting a song from some old Capitol ad that had come out when she was younger and propagating that 'With the Capitol, the Sky is the limit!'

"I'm still here just thinking of the actual moment that I realized that Annie was the one." Finnick grinned to himself as he realized the exact words to describe the moment. "I didn't. She crept up on me." Because it was true, every moment made up the reason that she was the one, had always been the one. Katniss gave him a look of absolute confusion as she tied a knot without looking down on it. Perhaps Katniss learned knot-tying from Annie originally in the Training Center what felt like a million years ago but it was Finnick who had assisted her with using that knot tying to channel her pain. It had been when they were all stuck in the bowels of District 13 during an attack they had (luckily) been warned about by Peeta. As per the new normal, Finnick zoned out and was transported back to that night.

Despite what everyone said, Finnick knew that he was still broken to the point that though he was not claustrophobic being down in these caverns beneath District 13 was making him go crazy. That explained why by the third night, insomnia had become such an issue for him that hours after lights out he was still sitting under his space lamp tying knots. In his opinion, the guards must have just taken pity on the pitiful guy sitting there and trying to tie himself back together because usually they would have forced him to turn the light off and at least fake being asleep.

"Psst Finnick." Katniss whisper-yelled startling him as her tan face with its dark curls framing it (she never slept with her hair in her braid or if she did her bangs always escaped as was the case now)and her deep gray eyes appeared out of the dark gloom.

"Huh?" He replied looking really confused with one dark bronze eyebrow raised and the other lowered giving her a funny look.

"Can I talk to you? Are you busy?" Glancing down at the rope in his lap, Finnick looked back up at her and earned a giggle. That giggle made him smile, the two of them had not gotten along great prior to the Quell but now they did mostly because she needed a connection to the Quell who also lost someone to the Capitol's torture policies and well he was the only one. "Guess not. Can I join you under the light?"

"Be my guest." Finnick gestured to the open end of his cot and scooted out of her way forcing his body into a position that had his knees bent up to his chest as he leaned back against the wall looking like the kid he had not been for far too many years."Let me guess, Peeta?" Katniss' noncommittal shrug proved his words to be true.

"Snow is using him to get to me isn't he?" The huntress sighed out dually surprising and saddening him. Surprising him because he normally would have to go all psychiatrist on her to get any coherent sentences about Peeta out of her throat. Saddening because now she knew the trick that Snow had used for years on him and others and that was the final destruction of innocence in his opinion; the realization, specifically THAT realization.

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier." He apologized to her earning a funny look from her familiar gray eyes as she picked up a bit of rope he had not knotted into uselessness as of the present moment.

"How could you have known…oh" Her realization made Annie's absence hurt all the more, oh yes he definitely did understand far, far too well. "How'd you know that I was thinking about Peeta?" It would take her this long to come to this point, Finnick thought to himself with a mental grin. Granted it was as a subject change but it was still another small step in the right direction.

"Because I've spent enough time with you plus I know the look of a lover missing their better half. I see that look every morning when I finally pluck up the courage to look in the mirror." Katniss opened her mouth to ask a question but Finnick already knew what she wanted to ask. Plus after having not spoken this much in so long, Finnick didn't want to stop for fear that he wouldn't be able to start back up. "How did I know that you on some level love Peeta? I've known since he hit the force field and you nearly hyperventilated to death in fear of losing him. It was then that I knew that I misjudged you and that you did love him at least on some level."

"Do you know what level? Can you see that too?" Katniss asked looking at him with her gray eyes hungry for an answer that she knew but wouldn't admit to herself.

"That is for me to know and for you to find out. One day you'll know." Finnick replied with a grin as he picked up his rope and began to tie again.

"Promise?" She asked sounding for all the world like Remy and thinking of Remy made Finnick want to cry. Must not think of Remy because he couldn't cry, not now.

"I promise."Finnick replied turning back to the rope and trying to not thinking of Remy, Annie, and promises. Katniss fell silent for a bit there until she, despite being a hunter all her life, grew tired of the silence and turned to Finnick with another question on her lips. "How do you deal with the Capitol's torture?" That was not the question he was expecting, no not in the least.

"I don't!" He whisper yelled suddenly far more aware than usual of the large amounts of people sleeping around him. "I drag myself out of nightmares every morning and then live in the ever present nightmare that is my life without Annie." Pausing again, he heard Annie's voice in his head and knew that her words were the best here, especially for Katniss. "It's better not to give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart." Looking down at his rope sadly, he passed it over to Katniss with a smile that (as usual) didn't quite meet his eyes. "Distract yourself, it helps. Make sure to continue to tie the knots that Annie taught you when it seems to get too hard." Katniss took the rope from his hand and wandered back to her sleep area with a distracted look in her eyes as she tied away.

"Thanks." She mouthed back and he grinned in response with the old expression resounding in his head, 'tied together with a smile that was coming undone'.

"Finnick?" Katniss asked shaking him out of his memory cinema and he gave her a slightly annoyed look. Memories when they weren't terrible were distractions that kept him tied a little more together. "They're here and safe." Neither of them had any questions about who 'they' were but the idea of seeing Annie after all this time made him completely paralyzed. Sighing to herself, Katniss grabbed his hand and pulled him after her as they passed by a shaven head and passed out Joanna and a screaming Gale in surgery. Katniss looked a little upset about this but Finnick barely noticed his best friend on the stretcher or the screams of his flirtatious acquaintance. The only thought that Finnick could manage at the moment was her name continuously running through his brain.

"Finnick!" Her voice, the only voice that he wanted to hear screamed his name causing him to turn quickly, ripping his hand out of Katniss' as he ran towards the dark curly haired girl with the sea green eyes brimming with tears. Despite the fact that she was apparently only wearing a sheet, Annie was the only thing in his world as she ran to him and he crashed into her with his weak and out of shape legs gave out causing them both to collapse against the wall. With his arms wrapped tight around her, he felt her tears dripping on his shoulder and he knew that his own eyes were leaking as well. They were tears of happiness of two people who knew without a doubt that they loved each other more than words could ever say because it was the love that made two broken people whole. Clinging to Annie tightly, Finnick knew that everything was okay as the broken part in him began to repair and he breathed in deeply her familiar scent and smiled as the way to stay above the waters of despair finally hit him.; never letting go and when it came to Annie Cresta, soon to be Mrs. Odair, he never did.

It's done! I give you the end of the tale and I hope that you liked it. I had fun writing it and I hope that you, reader, had fun reading it. Please review and Instant Message me any ideas or suggestions that you have. As music lover from district 4 can attest to, I do take suggestions seriousl and they become stories like this one! So message me any suggestions, review if you liked my fic or if you didn't. Thanks for sticking around for 15 Chapters of me, hope you enjoyed! Until next time, reader! Sayōnara! Au Revior! Adios! Ciao! Shalom!