"Gryffindor!"

The whole hall fell silent and the excited chatter stopped abruptly, stunned at what they thought was an inevitable outcome. Everyone knew who he was. Everyone knew where he'd end up. Well, everyone thought they knew. Until now

Sirius Black smirked to himself and strutted down from the stage, the sorting hat having been lifted from his head. Silence remained as the next student was ushered onto the platform to be sorted

The Black family heir ruffled his messy locks and the smirk grey wider, grey eyes sparkling as he sat himself down next to Peter Pettigrew with James Potter and Remus Lupin opposite him. He held his hand out

"Sirius Black" he smiled, introducing himself and all three boys shook his hand nervously, expecting him to yell 'syke!' at any moment and go strolling over to the Slytherin table. There was a good few minutes of silence and staring before another student was hastily called onto the stage.

"So…what's the deal with this ceiling, hey!?" Sirius gave a forced laugh and the other three boys gave a polite breathy laugh too

There was another awkward pause and Sirius gave a sigh and drummed his fingers on the table "Ermmm… how about that hat. Pretty craaaaazy stuff!" his hands fluttered by his side as he drawled out 'crazy' and Peter wrinkled his nose in a wince, ready to burst into tears. James and Remus weren't far off either. This boy had more power in one lock of messy hair then the other three had put together and the wizarding world had every right to be afraid of a member of the most noble and ancient house of Black. Even if said member was a first year at Hogwarts.

They all remained quiet whilst life continued around them and cheers erupted frequently as more students were assigned to houses. Peter began to visibly shake with fear at the boy next to him.

Then, Sirius' stomach growled "I'd murder for a decent steak right now!" he grinned sheepishly

"Please don't kill me!" Peter Pettigrew threw his head down on the table and sobbed loudly, his shoulder shaking and knocking the table. Sirius looked alarmed

"Shit…just…ermmm" he looked the crying boy up and down nervously "Don't cry…please?"

Remus Lupin rolled his eyes and leaned in to whisper "Don't worry about it. He cried on the train on the way here, in the boats, the walk up the stairs into the hall and when the hat was placed on his head. It appears to be a habit"

Sirius nodded and scratched the back of his head like a flea ridden mongrel, despite his famous pedigree status. "Oh… you'd have thought I'd have noticed if somebody was crying. I guess I wasn't paying attention"

James Potter glanced up in disbelief "Honestly? Your first day at Hogwarts and you weren't paying attention to any detail around you?"

Lupin raised his eyebrows and glanced at Sirius black "I'd love to know what you were thinking about that diverted your attention away from what might quite possibly be the most important day of your life"

And then Sirius Black, the youngest and only current heir to the Black family, renowned for their pure-blood mania and hatred of anything non-magical, shot back with "Naked muggle chicks"