A/N: Most fanfics shows Alec's fear of Magnus not loving him. But for some reason my idea of Alec's fear is his parents not accepting him and caring about his siblings more than him. Besides don't most people fear that their parents won't accept them?

I don't own Mortal Instruments and I don't want to.

I don't own Harry Potter, but I do own the copies of the books that I had my mom buy me.

"Not my daughter you bitch!"

It was the only line that ran through Alec's mind. Of course it was from Harry Potter, and he read the books that Simon let him borrow. It showed that Molly really loved her daughter and her sons. They were at war and Fred was killed. Bellatrix was threatening Ginny, and Molly came to rescue, possibly killing Bellatrix.

Let's say Izzy died and someone was about ready to kill him, would his parents have the same reaction? Or if he was seriously wounded and he lied on the battle field dying, would his parents care or try to help?

He knew that they cared about Jace and Izzy, but what about him? Did they care? He was gay, it was frowned upon. They should've kicked him just for coming out, for Christ sake; he should be hanged or burned at the stake. His parents would probably never care.

Maybe I should purposely kill myself in that fucking war that should never happen. No one wouldn't care or give a damn. Alec thought. No one would care. Alec was sitting on his bed, hands clasped tightly together. His hands were shaking from being held tightly.

Tears started rolling down his cheeks. No one would care. He thought again, and it caused more tears to roll down his cheeks, faster.

"Not my daughter you bitch!"

Why should my parents care about me? I'm gay. They have a reason to hate me. They wouldn't care. Dad doesn't give a fuck about me anyway. Why should he? Alec thought again, and more tears started falling faster. At least Jace and Izzy could give them grandkids, I can't. I'm gay. I'm a freak. Alec thought and held his hands together more tightly.

"Not my daughter you bitch!"

That line kept repeating itself in his head. He wondered if his parents would notice or care if he got killed in the war.

Izzy probably would cry or blame herself.

Jace, he wasn't sure what Jace would do. He would probably be upset about it for a few days and then get over it. Jace never gave two shits about him. They barely talked anyway.

His mother would probably be heartbroken about her eldest son dying and then wouldn't care because he's gay. The Clave never cares.

His dad would probably be happy that his gay son died, less kids for him to worry about while he goes fuck other women. He knew about the affairs, he's not an idiot. He figured it out on his own.

"Not my daughter you bitch!"

His parents care more about Max than him. It's understandable, since Max was young and had a full life ahead of him. Oh yeah, he probably wouldn't turn out to be gay, like him.

At least Jace and Izzy have people who love them. I don't, at the moment anyway. I'm gay. Alec thought and placed his hands on his head. He started sniffling and felt tears roll down his cheeks again.

"Not my daughter you bitch!"

He suddenly pictured himself, lying on the ground, dead with a pool of blood forming, and his parents just standing there, not even caring while their two kids cried. Oh god, why did I picture that?

It felt like someone or something was cutting off his lungs and everything was closing in at him at an alarming speed. Everything began tilting an a weird angle to the point that he was probably going to fall off of his bed.

His mom walked in at that moment, because she guessed it was maternal instinct. She felt like something was off.

She took one look at her eldest son, crying, and rushed over to him, pulling him in a hug.

Nothing made him cry like that. Not even Max's death or Magnus breaking up with him. She still wants to beat Magnus up for breaking Alec's heart, even if Magnus was justified for the break up.

"Shh, shh." She told her son and held him close to her heart. "Follow my breathing." She started breathing and a few seconds later, Alec started doing that, and held onto his mother. "Shh. It's okay. Tell me what happened." The trapped feeling started to go away.

"If I died, would you care?" Alec asked and held onto his mother.

Some part of Maryse wanted to slap him upside the head just for asking that. She lies up at night, worrying that her kids would die, every day and all day, knowing that she won't be able to do anything to stop it. "Of course I would." She wondered what that was all about. "Tell me what made you think I wouldn't." She pressed her cheek to Alec's head, and rubbed soothing motions on his back, trying to make Alec lessen the crying.

"I'm gay. You shouldn't care about me anymore." Alec admitted and held his mother tightly, worried that she would leave him.

There was that feeling like she wanted to smack her son upside the head again. "If you were black, straight, transgender, or bisexual, I would still love you no matter what." She didn't carry him around for nine months for nothing after all.

"Even if I accidentally got some normal person pregnant?" Alec asked.

Maryse frowned, where did that thought come from exactly? "Even for that. I would still love you."

"Okay. I love you too mom." Alec admitted and Maryse kissed his head. She wasn't going to go anywhere at the moment. Alec needed her, and she'll be there for him.

"Not my daughter you bitch!"

Instead of that horrible feeling like he had gotten from when he thought of that line, he could actually feel the love and protection that Ginny had probably gotten when her mother said that. It felt great knowing that at least his mom would actually care about him. He felt a little foolish thinking that she wouldn't care when she obviously did.

A/N: Yeah, I think I failed at this. I think that Maryse would actually accept her son for everything about him. Robert would be a little bit hard to get to accept his son now.

When I was in the sixth grade, before my brother and dad accidentally broke my collarbone, my mom actually knew something was wrong before it happened. So I wrote that Maryse knew her son was having a panic attack before he had it.

I think I failed at writing about panic attacks too. I'm sure it's all different for everyone.