A Typical Elsword Fairy Tale CH 5-Final Boss
….Alright! Final chapter! Wow! This took much longer than I expected! Anyways, enjoy the last chapter to this retarded story!
Disclaimer-Ah, I don't own Elsword. I really would like to make a mustache accessory for Raven though….
Job Classes~
Elsword-Rune Slayer
Aisha-Elemental Master
Eve-Code: Empress
Rena-Grand Archer
Raven-Blade Master
Elesis-Blazing Heart
Chung-Tactical Trooper
Add-Base Job
Ara-Yama Raja
Last time….on this story about an idiotic rescue team that's reaaaally getting sidetracked on their journey. The Stupid, Naïve, and Gullible Prince, Elsword, the Psychotic Stalker of Queen Eve, Add, and the insane Prince-In-Training Chung fell down a ravine due to a falling boulder which soon was revealed to be caused by a black haired girl by the name of Ara Haan, the Princess of Sander and also a Kamidere that can also go 'Kami'. Anyways! Let's see what this whole group is up to at the current level!
Elsword and Add glared daggers at each other. Their eyes weren't leaving the opposing person. They stayed there, eyes locked. Elsword bared the teeth in the corner of his mouth. Add breathed heavily out of his nostrils. Suddenly, a small noise emitted.
Pop!
...of a bubble.
Elsword and Add lifted up their chopsticks and swiftly swiped their hands into a pot of boiling water and when their eating utensils resurfaced with both of their chopsticks tightly clamped around the same piece of beef. Elsword and Add's eyes flashed and quickly Elsword pushed forward and upwards with his chopsticks, the piece of cooked beef flipping into the air.
"IT'S MINE!" Elsword and Add shouted and stabbed their chopsticks into the air at light speed to grab the flying piece of cooked beef. However, though they were closely matched, Add had the advantage since his reaction speed was much faster and he was actually out exercising instead of being in a castle and lazing around all day. Add's chopsticks clamped around the piece of cooked beef and he pulled back, his trophy successfully caught.
"HAHA! Try and beat me next time loser!" Add gloated in victory.
"Both of you, stop fighting while we eat and sit down." Raven told Add and Elsword while scooping some water and veggies out of the boiling pot full of water and various foods for Rena.
"That's right, be sure to act respectfully and within manner while feasting alongside a Goddess!" Ara scoffed, slurping up some freshly cooked noodles.
"Alright…" Add and Elsword groaned and reluctantly sat back down in their chairs and scooted back into the round table they were eating at in a restaurant.
Chung blinked and looked at the hot pot boiling in the middle of the table while Rena stuck a whole, uncut, Leek into the pot and smiled happily to herself.
He twitched and put his hands on the bottom-side of the table and was just about to flip it but then thought better of it and controlled himself of it. Instead he met a well-needed Tsukkomi.
"WHY THE HELL ARE WE JUST CALMLY HAVING A HOT POT RIGHT NOW WHILE WE HAVE A MISSION TO DO?!" He yelled and flipped his bowl as a substitute for a table.
Everybody turned their heads towards him, except Rena, she was still tending to the uncut Leek inside of the hot pot.
"Well we've gotta take a rest now and then Chung." Raven told Chung.
"Besides this is kind of like a celebration for when Ara joined our group." Elsword added.
"Hey, I didn't get a hot pot when I joined." Add said.
"We were nearly killed by a giant boulder when you came along caused by this girl!" Chung pointed rudely at Ara. Ara took his finger and pushed it back to break it in response.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Chung screamed in pain.
"Don't address me as such; address me as you would with a goddess! Say, 'oh my good lady' or 'great goddess'!" Ara snapped at Chung while Chung was attending to his snapped finger.
"Well, if we didn't give Ara a hot pot party then she would be extremely pissed off as such since we're not giving her 'the proper respects and offerings.'" Elsword explained. Wow, the word 'explain' and the name 'Elsword' don't really match up now do they?
"I guess so…but it's still not fair…" Add moped.
Elesis patted Add's back. "This could be Ara and Add's party then. It saves money." Elesis suggested.
Add brightened up at this and began to put his piece of beef into his mouth only to found out it was gone. Next to him, Elsword was chewing on a piece of beef he recently stole from someone.
"You bastard! You stole that from me didn't you?!" Add snarled, grabbing Elsword's collar.
"So what if I did!? I was hungry!" Elsword bit back.
"Then get one out of the pot yourself!" Add barked.
"That's a pain! It's tiring to stick my chopsticks into the pot of boiling water and take one out."
"Oh yeah, we should turn off the pot before the food gets overcooked." Chung calmly turned the knob for the fire to Off. He then smacked himself for getting caught up in everyone else's pace.
"Please stop both of you." Raven sighed at Elsword and Add as Rena fervently chomped into her cooked Leek as if she was a hamster.
"Hm, here. Say 'aaaah'." Ara suddenly held up a piece of cooked lizard meat up to Chung's mouth.
"EH?!" Chung jumped in confusion out of the sudden act from the Kamidere. "What are you doing?" Chung asked her.
"I JUST WANNA DO THIS FOR ONCE! TO SEE HOW IT FEELS TO BE FED!" Ara shrilled in embarrassment. "Ugh, you've wasted such an opportunity to be fed by a higher being as myself!" Ara scoffed and held the lizard meat up to Elesis instead. "Say 'aaaah'." She said to Elesis.
"Aaaaah." Elesis opened her mouth and Ara put the lizard meat into Elesis's mouth. Elesis chewed with satisfaction. "Tasty." She said, looking at Ara with gratitude.
"Is this…..the forbidden love!? MAGNET! MAGNET!" Rena squealed.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Chung barked at her.
Ara then tried to do it with Chung again, this time with a piece of boiled cabbage. "Say 'aaah'." Ara glared at Chung.
Chung gulped and opened his mouth.
"YOU DIDN'T SAY 'AAAAH!'" Ara shouted and shoved the lettuce plus the chopsticks down Chung's throat.
"GAH! HACK! PLAH!" Chung hacked and spat the chopsticks out. "Couldn't breath….ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?" Chung spat.
"I'm a Goddess, and a Princess. I could've easily gotten away with it." Ara replied.
"THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE!" Chung yelled.
"HEY! STUPID PRINCE-IN-TRAINING! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO EAT IN PEACE!" Elesis shouted.
"YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON I WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM!"
"The Author is spamming the caps a lot here." Rena said.
"What?!" Chung turned to Rena.
Rena quietly chew on her Leek that was half-way eaten now.
"We should just end this now and hurry up in order to continue our journey to save the Princess of Elder! Queen Eve is probably doing horrible things to her as we speak!" Chung ranted.
Meanwhile, Queen Eve, Aisha, Oberon, and Ophelia were walking in the village of Bethma.
"Where would you like to eat Aisha?" Eve asked Aisha.
"Over there!" Aisha pointed at a rather familiar restaurant with round tables and pots on the middle of those tables. "Elsword and I used to eat there a lot!"
"Very well." Eve nodded and they proceeded to the store.
Back to the others, all 7 of them were finally settling down after the commotion and going back to eating when all of their heads suddenly turned when they heard the chime of a door.
"Ah…"
"Hm…?"
Chung stared at the familiar people at the entrance to the hot pot restaurant which were staring right back at them.
"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!?" he shouted, flipping the table at last when he saw Eve, Aisha, Oberon, and Ophelia.
[A few minutes later]
Chung twitched his eye and looked at the new arrangement of seating. Eve was quietly sitting between Elsword and Add with her servants by her side while Aisha was sitting in between Elsword and Raven in the round table.
Chung held a hand up and rubbed his forehead. "I'm trying to be calm here okay? But….WHY ARE WE EATING WITH THE ANTAGONISTS HERE?!" Chung slammed his hand onto the marble table and stood up in outrage.
"Calm down, don't you see we're doing negotiations right now?" Elesis muttered, pouring water from the new hot pot into her bowl.
'That's right, this is a serious matter. I suggest you newbies stay out of this negotiation and leave it to the Queens and Kings." Raven said with a serious face.
"I can come in too right Raven? I'm you're wife after all!" Rena asked.
Raven's serious face turned into an over-happy smile. "Of course you can sweetie." He said with a stupid grin on his face.
"Yay! Thank you!" Rena cheered and suddenly kissed his cheek with a Chu~~
Raven head suddenly spouted smoke out of his head as his face turned red.
"You're becoming embarrassed over that yet you've done so many other things that deserve being embarrassed about!" Chung exclaimed.
"Sh!" Ara shushed Chung as Eve began to speak.
"Ahem," Queen Eve gave a cute cough. "I would like to discuss the deal I made when I kidnapped Princess Aisha." Eve said.
Aisha suddenly looked up from her staring at the short distance between Elsword and her.
"As said before it is a simple deal, the Princess for 10 billion ED that will be used for my country. I will not do anything underhanded like endangering Princess Aisha's life; however I will not return her easily without the ED." Eve explained and then slammed Add's face into the boiling hot pot due to him getting too close to her and examining her face too much. Though through all this Add gave a sigh of satisfaction, his arms sagging down calmly.
"Oh, another hot pot please, the same type, this is the 2nd one that's been messed up." Elesis called for a waiter.
"Why is she so calm today?" Chung asked aloud.
"Big sis is always calm when eating; she always maintains composure and acts cool when she eats." Elsword explained.
"Aaaah, I see, what an interesting specimen." Ara nodded as Elesis sat back on her chair with glasses and sipped some herbal tea like a pro.
Eve clapped her hands to bring attention back to her. "So are you all willing to pay?" Eve asked them.
"I'm sorry." Raven said to Eve. "But we'll now be taking Princess Aisha with us right now. We will not be paying you the 10 billion ED for such an act." He calmly replied.
Eve did not look fazed by this at all. "Well, I have a 2nd option then because I will not let this go." She said and suddenly latched onto Elsword's shoulder as if she was his lover with everybody's surprise.
"WHA!?" Aisha squeaked at this motion.
"If you aren't paying such then I will kidnap the Prince of Ruben and marry him in order to get his fortune." Eve countered, snuggling up next to Elsword's arm.
Elsword, with his stupid mind, looked at Eve confused. "Wh-Why are you latching onto my arm?" he asked her.
"ELSWORD HASN'T REGISTERED THE SITUATION YET AND QUEEN EVE'S BECOME A GOLD DIGGER!" Chung shouted all the details.
Eve glared at Chung. "For your information young Prince-in-training of Hamel, I have respected this man for his heart and courage and already ruling a kingdom even though he is only just a Prince. Elsword is quite a great human." Eve said.
"A sudden confession?" Rena gasped as always.
"Hold on!" Aisha suddenly slammed her gloved hand onto the table, her bowl jumping up and cracking. "I was with Elsword since we were kids! I was the one who taught him his magical skills! I can't let you take him away just like that Eve!" Aisha cried.
"What?" Chung turned to Aisha. "We were never told of this kind of back-story!"
"Elsword helped me when my magic continuously went out of control and hurt things around me!" Aisha voiced.
"We're going to a flashback now!?" Chung exclaimed.
A 7 year old Aisha in a purple dress was crying on the marble floors of Elder castle's kitchen. An unidentified burnt object lay on the ground next to her as she wailed. A young-red haired boy looked at her worriedly as he walked into the kitchen and, due to his good heart, strolled over to see what was wrong.
"Hey, what's wrong?" the young boy asked.
"I-I-I can't use my magic correctly! It always goes out of control and hurts everything around me?" Aisha sobbed.
The young boy looked around. "Where are the chefs?" he asked, not knowing how to comfort a little girl.
"All gone!" Aisha cried "Because of me!"
The young red head jumped but did not run away, probably due to his stupidity because he just saw a rat run past him and jumped. He held his hand out to Aisha. "It's okay, I won't be gone. How exactly did it happen?" he asked her.
Aisha hiccupped. "I was cooking some cake and wanted to try doing it with some fire magic and then I ended up burning it all to crisps! I tried to water plants by melting ice magic so I wouldn't waste water but then I ended up freezing and killing them all! I can't do anything right! All the chefs ran away when I began casting my magic too!" Aisha cried into the young boy's chest.
"Well! Don't worry! I'll always be with you from now on! I'll try my best to help you with your magic! However that works!" Elsword declared.
Aisha blushed and punched Elsword's gut. "I don't need help stupid!" Aisha exclaimed and then looked down and quietly said. "But I'll accept it out of the kindness of my heart…."
Aisha finished her flashback of how she and Elsword met as they were kids.
Everybody was shedding some kind tear or had feelings of remorse after hearing that story, except Chung and Eve, Eve because she was a Nasod, and Chung because he was an extremely heartless, sadistic, horrible, bastard of a human being.
"DON'T GIVE ME SUCH A HORRIBLE DESCRIPTION!" Chung shouted. "Actually I thought Aisha was the one who burned all the chefs down when she said why the chefs were gone was her fault! Why was it only a cake that got hurt?! Actually you didn't do anything dangerous at all! I thought you were gonna go rampage and destroy the town!" Chung ranted.
"Oh that happened, that was when we were older though and Elsword was continuously chased by girls everywhere." Aisha explained.
"So you were jealous and have fallen for Elsword?" Rena asked Aisha.
Aisha blushed and waved her arms around wildly and began to panic. "No-NO! I don't have such feelings for this idiot! He's just a stupid and naïve Prince! I can't fall in love with someone like that!"
"Aaaah! Elsword has no more HP left!" Chung exclaimed as Elsword emitted his soul out of his mouth. Eve squeezed Elsword's arm tighter. "Don't worry Elsword, you'll always be number 1 in my eyes." She said in monotone, but this was enough to revive Elsword. He jumped back to life and hugged Eve. "You're the best Eve!" he exclaimed.
Aisha puffed her cheeks and grabbed Elsword's other arm. "I can take care of you better than this girl can Elsword! I know all your favorite foods, you're favorite places to go, and I was the one who taught you magic and that was really difficult!" Aisha told Elsword.
Eve narrowed her eyes at Aisha as Aisha did the same to her. Both of them began to bare their teeth, at least Aisha did, Eve had no such program in her system.
"He's mine!" Aisha hissed.
"He's mine." Eve said in monotone as always.
"A love triangle?" Rena squeaked in surprise.
"Ah, this is progressing quite nicely actually…" Raven muttered.
"WE SHOULDN'T DO THIS KIND OF THING IN A RESTURANT! EVERYBODY'S STARING AT US! STARING I TELL YOU!" Chung made a loud retort as always.
"Elsword you betrayed me! You took Eve for yourself! I hate you so much you damn liar!" Add shouted angrily at Elsword while shaking him by his collar.
"NO HE'S MINE!" Ara suddenly jumped from her seat and glared at the 2 girls while everybody was surprised at the new comer. "Elsword saved my life while I was drowning. I hate to admit it, but a Goddess has to pay back a debt when a simple mortal has helped her." Ara blushed and fidgeted her fingers.
"If you're a goddess you could've easily survived going underwater!" Chung exclaimed.
"Shut up you." Ara growled at Chung and looked back at Elsword. "So, would you like to marry a Goddess Elsword?" Ara asked him with a smile.
"A HAREM?!" Rena and Raven gasped this time.
Aisha and Eve put their arms up to block Elsword before he could say anything.
"Don't you dare come in new girl!" Aisha growled.
"This is only between 2 people for ambition and feelings; such people with eighth-grade syndrome don't deserve a spot with Elsword." Eve replied…in monotone as always.
"Ha! Do you girls think you can take on a Goddess? I have been highly trained in Godly arts!" Ara sneered. Thus, causing all 3 of them to draw their weapons. "A smart Goddess such as I is never affected by this 'Eighth Grade Syndrome' you talk about!"
"WHAT?! Hey! Stop it right now! Let me remind you that we're in a restaurant right now! Mind your ma-" Chung was interrupted when he saw the demonic looks the girls gave him. "Alright, I'll back down just this once." Chung sat down and began to finally eat out of the hot pot while sweat dropping.
"Hey you stupid broads!" Elesis yelled, standing up. "Stop all this nonsense at once!" she lifted her fist which stopped all activity from going further.
"What?!" Aisha asked indignantly
"I won't allow fighting over my little brother. He is a very important family member of mines!" Elesis walked behind Elsword and latched an arm around his front. "I won't hand him over to just any regular girl!" Elesis announced.
"A brocon now?!" Add and Rena gasped.
"So we have to go past the older sister in order to get our trophy hm?" Eve noted."Anti-climatic battle starts now." She said and all three of them charged at Elesis who pulled out her own sword and the battle began. Yay, cue the epic battle music! All the good explosions! Yelling! Attack-name calling!
Elsword looked at all of this in confusion. "Why are you all fighting?" he asked.
"HE'S COMPLETELY DENSE!" Chung broke his bowl down onto the table. "WHY IS IT THAT THE DENSE GUY ALWAYS GETS ALL THE GIRLS!?"
"A shota trap?!" Rena, Raven, and Add gasped at Chung.
"THAT'S A JOKE THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN IN CHAPTER 2! ACTUALLY IT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN HERE SINCE I'M THE WRONG JOB CLASS!" Chung was just about to pop a vein at this point.
Meanwhile, the battle for the dense redhead was still progress. Eve had had enough at this point.
"I will just have to resort to my first plan." Eve muttered and snapped her fingers. "Heaven's Fist!" Eve called out and giant mechanical hand suddenly fell down into the restaurant and nearly crushed Elesis, Aisha, and Ara. The hand then gave a sweep at them and they only managed to survive by blocking with their weapons.
Eve, meanwhile, had something else in mind. "Ophelia, knock Elsword out. Oberon, get a bag." She commanded her servants, they bowed and commenced with the operation. Ophelia gave a quick swipe at Elsword's neck, knocking him out cold onto the marble round table. Oberon came back with a large bag and grabbed Elsword in order to put him into the bag. He then tied it up and gave a thumb up to Eve.
"We are leaving now." She ordered, and began to exit out the door.
"AH! ELSWOOOORD!" Chung exclaimed and reached his hands out for him yet made no attempt to go after him.
"EEEEVE!" Add called and made after Eve put was subdued by Ophelia's metal slap that was only 2nd to her Queen's.
Aisha, Ara, and Elesis staggered upwards and glared at Eve.
"You won't get away…" Aisha growled.
"I won't ever let go of my brother to some broad like you…" Elesis breathed darkly.
"Like hell a Goddess will lose to a simply Nasod." Ara muttered angrily.
"Aw, they're getting up." Chung looked at the 3 angry girls who charged out the door to see Eve fleeing on her drones, Moby and Remy, at high speed.
"I will chase you down Queen Eve! I will rescue Elsword!" Aisha declared.
"As will I!" Elesis added.
"Not before I!" Ara shouted.
They glared at each other.
"Temporary truce…" they agreed.
Chung blinked. "…" he blinked again. "…" he then breathed in.
"HOWTHEHELLDIDELSWORDBECOMETHEDAMSELINDISTRESSNOW!? THISWHOLESTORYHASSTAKENA360TURN! THEPRINCESSESARESAVINGTHEPRINCENOW! WHYTHEHELLHASITTURNOUTLIKETHIS?!" Chung ranted the whole thing, and then passed out onto the marble table much like Elsword did from making to high a level of a Tsukkomi.
Add walked out of the restaurant and looked up to the sky. "I will find you Eve. I will make sure your soft skin is not touched by another." Add declared his resolve.
"YOU'RE JUST BEING A CREEPER!" Chung lifted his head and made one last retort before having it go back down.
Raven and Rena looked at each other.
"Thank god we're already married." Raven sighed.
"That's just how the youths are these days." Rena smiled, and they continued their date.
"…." Chung was unable to make a retort to that due to his MP being at 0.
At the entrance of Altera, three girls stood and stared at the giant mechanical castle also called "Altera Core" where Queen Eve and the Damsel of Distress, Princess, I mean Prince Elsword was being held captive and about to be forced into a marriage with Queen Eve.
"I will find him…." The purple haired warrior said.
"I will make sure he is unharmed…." The red haired warrior muttered.
"I will, without fail, bring him back to us." The black haired one nodded.
In Altera's Core, Queen Eve sat in her throne and put her hand up to her cheek. "Ohohohoho." she said in a monotone which was supposed to be evil laughter like an evil queen.
So, the 3 saviors charged to find their true love.
After they paid for the damage they did to the signature hot pot restaurant in Bethma.
"You just made another punch line at the end!" Chung flipped the storyboard in outrage.
That, my good children, was how the greatest Fairy Tale on the flat piece of land known as Elrios ended and another story is about to begin.
"NOTHING WAS SOLVED IN THE END! ACTUALLY THERE WAS NO END TO THI-"
THE END~
….mmmmmm, this story ending was stupid, probably not to everyone's expectations. I was about to make it RS X EM, but then I remembered this was Humor and Parody so I thought….
"Eh, why not just go for a harem end to make an anti-climatic ending for humorous purposes?"
…and thus this ending was born. Huehuehuehue….I apologize for those who originally went to this story for RS X EM. I am reaaaally sorry!
Anyways, if you hated this story or liked it…
Thanks for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting this story!
Ah shizz, exams are coming up….