Disclaimer: I don't own Alice, nor do I own the Cheshire cat. Sad but, true.
A/N: This little number is told in Alice's pov. She goes into a moment of reflection, stating her resentment for being written off as 'mad'. Enjoy.
As I lay here in my asylum bed, I hear the doctors and nurses rave on about how 'mad' I am.
I'm mad, indeed. If they the saw things that I do every night in my dreams, they'd be mad too.
If they had to watch their families get burned alive and know that they could do nothing to save them, would they not be mad too?
I'm mad. That's all I ever hear them say. Every night they mock me about Wonderland, and every night it's the same conclusion, I'm mad.
I'm mad. Ha, I'd like to see them have to slaughter their way through card guards and Boojums and see if they don't go mad, with their long sharp pikes, and the death curling screams that terrorifies the soul.
I'd like to see them hear the screams of their lost loved ones every night and see if they don't go mad.
Every night when I close my eyes, I see the hellhole that Wonderland has become. Don't they understand? The fate of Wonderland rests in my hands, if I fail, not only will Wonderland never be freed, but, I will be forever trapped in this looming insanity.
Everyday I look up at the ceiling and I wonder, can I do it? Can I free Wonderland and save my sanity?
Then I hear a voice in my room, smooth and articulate, whispering words of wisdom and comfort to me.
I turn my head slightly to see my Cheshire cat sitting in the chair next to my bed.
"Cheshire, why do they mock me? Why won't they stop saying that I'm mad?" I asked.
Cheshire sighed and jumped onto the bed to face me.
"That's because to some degree, you are mad, my dear, Alice. Do not worry though, everyone here is also mad to some degree. They just either don't realize it, or, don't want to admit it." Cheshire said.
"Is everyone in this world truly mad, Cheshire? It doesn't seem that way." I said.
"My dear, sweet, Alice. Things are not always as they seem. There is really no such thing as sanity. Like I said, everyone is mad. Sanity is just a delusion that people use to keep themselves safe because they fear the unknown, and don't trust what cannot be explained." Cheshire said.
"Well, I want to be sane, so, I guess I'm no better than the rest of them." I said.
Cheshire smiled and lifted my chin up with his paw. For being a mangy cat, he always was pretty strong.
"Why do you say that, Alice? You're so much better than the rest of them." Cheshire said.
Really? Why is that?" I asked.
"Because, you were willing to learn the truth. You understand what it's like to live in some insane nightmare. You don't shrug us off as 'only in my mind'. You were willing to see what was beyond the looking glass. You believe dearly that we exist when noone else does. That why you are able to see us and they cannot.
They don't see what's right in front of them. People fear what they really are, so they block us out. You, however, managed to see through all that and had the pleasure of seeing Wonderland for what it really was before the queen destroyed it. It's thanks to you that we are still alive Alice." Cheshire said.
I was speechless. I never imagined that I would have been the one responsible for keeping Cheshire and the rest of Wonderland alive, and all because I believed that they existed, because, I loved them all. Especially the mangy cat that sat in front of me this very moment. It brought tears to my eyes.
"Alice, why are crying, sweetheart?" Cheshire asked. His grin turning into a concerned frown.
"Because, I never realized that I had such a strong impact on you all. I never knew that you needed me in order to stay alive." I said.
Cheshire smiled again and wiped my tears away with his tail. It felt strange, but, comforting. He sighed and laid down next to me on the bed.
"Believe it or not Alice, but, you and you alone have the power to determine the fate of Wonderland. The queen does not realize this though. She was the one who ordered the card guards to start the fire that killed your parents. What she didn't count on though, was the fact that you survived. That's why Wonderland hasn't died yet, despite how sick and twisted it has become. She doesn't realize that you have the power to kill her." Cheshire said.
My eyes went as wide as tea saucers and my jaw dropped. I could not believe what I hearing.
"Cheshire, what makes you think I have what it takes to kill her?" I asked.
Cheshire laughed and laid his head on my shoulder to look up at me.
"Because, you are the only one who ever had enough courage to stand up to her. Others have tried, but, they have either died, or gave up, and let themselves get plunged into her eternal madness. You are the only one who survived and didn't give up. Even some of Wonderland's inhabitants have given in to the evil that the queen has infested upon us." Cheshire said.
"Cheshire, is it really as bad as all that?" I asked.
"It's worse than you can imagine, Alice." Cheshire said.
He began to cry softly into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him in a comforting hug and began to gently pet him.
"It's alright, Cheshire. Everything's going to be fine. I promise." I said.
"You don't understand, Alice. Yes, as long as you believe that Wonderland is real we will live, but, if you fail to kill the queen we'll never be freed and you'll be trapped in her madness forever!" Cheshire sobbed.
I closed my eyes and sighed. I continued to pet Cheshire as he sobbed openly in my embrace. I began to hum softly, and it seemed to calm him down. His sobbing became soft whimpers.
"Don't worry, Cheshire. I'll take care of her and make everything right again." I said.
He looked up at me with teary eyes and I softly scratched behind his ears, making him purr.
A strange feeling then came over me. I found myself wishing at that moment, that Cheshire was human instead of a cat. Almost as if he could read my mind,(and I wouldn't be surprised if he could) he shot his head up and with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he jumped off the bed.
"Oh, I almost forgot. There's something I want to show you, Alice. This is only between you and me, though. You can't tell anyone when you come to Wonderland. I haven't told anyone because I don't want the queen to find out." Cheshire said.
I was dumbfounded. How is it that Cheshire confides more in me than the other remaining good residents of Wonderland?
"I won't say word, Cheshire. I promise." I said.
He smiled and vanished. When he reappeared, I nearly had a heart attack. He was no longer a cat. He had somehow managed to become a man, and quite a handsome one at that. He was tall, at least 6 foot, with a slender build, soft black hair and hazel eyes. He looked like one of the male assistants who worked here. The only one that was actually nice to me.
"Che… Cheshire? Is that really you?" I asked, still not believing what I was seeing.
He smiled and walked back to my bed and leaned down next to me.
"Yes, Alice. It's me." Cheshire said.
"But how?" I asked.
"A new ability that I learned sometime ago. I never said anything to anyone in Wonderland, because knowing the queen; she would try to use me as bait to get to you. Her madness is the worst type that I've ever seen." Cheshire said.
"You look like one of the guys who work here. The only one who's actually nice to me." I said.
Cheshire smirked and chuckled. I raised an eye brow in confusion. He leaned over until our cheeks were touching. I could feel his warm breath on my neck.
"If you mean Alex Gomez then, surprise, surprise, my dear." Cheshire said.
I gasped. Cheshire chuckled and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I went rigid. I couldn't move for a moment. The only sound that heard was that of my heavy breathing.
"Alice, are you alright?" Cheshire asked.
I didn't respond at first. I was still getting over the shock of letting what I had just seen and heard sink in.
"Alice? For god's sake, Alice, answer me!" Cheshire exclaimed, shaking me lightly.
"I, uh.. I'm alright. I'm just kind of shocked, that's all." I said.
"Don't do that, Alice. You scared the carp out of me." Cheshire said.
I smiled weakly. I really hadn't meant to scare him, but, surely he expected me to have that type of reaction.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." I said.
"It's alright, dear. I was just worried that I had put you back in that damn catatonic state." Cheshire said.
I laughed and shook my head. Then a realization hit me.
"It was you the whole time, wasn't it Cheshire?" I asked.
Cheshire smiled and nodded. He gently stoked my cheek with his hand and I blushed.
"Yes Alice. I had to protect you from the all those doctors who wanted to put you to sleep." Cheshire said.
"Put me to sleep? Cheshire, I don't understand." I said.
Cheshire sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Since you were always in that catatonic state, the doctors all figured that since they couldn't wake you, that they should just put you out of your misery." Cheshire said.
"You mean they were going to kill me!" I exclaimed.
Cheshire nodded.
"Yes, they were, Alice. That's about the same time I learned how make myself look human. I made up the name that I use, and applied to work here so I keep an eye on you." Cheshire said.
Tears came to my eyes. I could not believe that all those doctors wanted to kill me, and for absolutely no reason at all. It wasn't fair. If Cheshire hadn't been here, I would surely be dead by now. Cheshire smiled and wiped away my tears.
"Don't worry, Alice. You're alright now. I won't let anyone harm you. I managed to convince the doctors not to kill you." Cheshire said.
"For the last ten years, you've been watching me, haven't you? Even before you learned how to change form?" I asked.
Cheshire nodded and blushed. I giggled.
"Yes Alice. Ever since your first visit to Wonderland, I have watched over you and protected you. At first, through Dinah, than some alley cat that hangs around here, and now as Alex Gomez." Cheshire said chuckling.
My jaw dropped. I knew that Cheshire was not an ordinary cat, but, I never really did understand the full extent of his powers.
"You never cease to amaze me, Cheshire." I said.
Cheshire smirked.
Yeah, I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" Cheshire asked.
I laughed. Cheshire was always quite the joker.
"So Cheshire. When will I be able to return to Wonderland?" I asked.
Cheshire's smile turned into a frown.
"Why are you so eager to go that hellhole?" Cheshire asked.
I smiled.
"Because, the sooner I get to Wonderland, the sooner I get to kill the queen, and the sooner that bitch is dead, the sooner you and the rest of Wonderland will be free, and then I'll finally get to leave this god awful place." I said.
Cheshire sighed.
"I wish you didn't have to see what a nightmare Wonderland has become. I hate to see you so tormented." Cheshire said.
I smiled and reached up to stoke his hair.
"Alice, I…" Cheshire's voice trailed off.
"Is that why you won't let me go back, Cheshire? Don't you understand? Wonderland is every bit a part of me as I am a part of it. Your pain is my pain. That is why I want to free Wonderland. I want to free you all from the evil nightmare that the queen has brought upon you all. Only then, will my mind truly be at peace, and although I understand that I'm mad, I will finally be free from this never ending insanity." I said.
"I never saw it that way, but, you're right Alice. I don't understand how or why, but, there's a tie that binds us together. That's why I personally took it upon myself to watch and protect you." Cheshire said.
"I feel closer to you than I do to the others, though. Yes, I do care about them all, and I really do want to help them, but, you are the only who seems to truly understand me. You believe in me, and you're there whenever I need you." I said.
Cheshire's eyes became watery with tears. He smiled and held my hand.
"You know I do would anything for you, Alice." Cheshire said.
"Yes, I know. I want to return the favor, and protect you, just as you have protected me." I said.
Cheshire closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. I gently wiped it away and he sighed. I stood up and gave him a tight hug.
"Thank you, Alice." Cheshire whispered in my ear.
I smiled. I lifted my head up to look at him. I began to stroke his cheek and he blushed. Then I slowly reached up and placed my lips on his in a soft kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, and closing his eyes, he deepened the kiss. At that moment I understood why I felt so close to him. I was shocked to say the least, but, I was happy. At that moment I realized that I loved him.
After a few minutes we pulled apart and looked at eachother.
"I…I can't believe you that." Cheshire said.
"Me niethier. I'm glad I did though." I said.
"So am I. I love you, Alice." Cheshire said.
"I love you too, Cheshire." I said.
He scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to my bed. He lay down next to me and I snuggled against him. He sighed and began stroking my hair.
"You look so tired, Alice. Why don't you try to get some sleep?" Cheshire said.
"Will you stay with me until morning?" I asked.
"Of course I will. Now try to get some rest." Cheshire said.
I sighed and closed my eyes. Cheshire wrapped his arms around me.
"Sleep well my love, and remember, we're all mad here." Cheshire said.
"I will, Cheshire. Thank you." I said.
I opened my eyes again only to find that Cheshire had already fallen asleep. I smiled and kissed his forehead.
~Sleep well, Cheshire. Don't worry, as god is my witness, I will kill the queen and set you all free. Then I'll be free to leave this place. Until then, I'll just sleep by your side.~ was my last thought before falling into a calm, peaceful sleep in Cheshire loving embrace.
A/N: Well, I hope you all liked my little prelude. Cheshire remained in human form BTW. R/R.
A/N: This little number is told in Alice's pov. She goes into a moment of reflection, stating her resentment for being written off as 'mad'. Enjoy.
As I lay here in my asylum bed, I hear the doctors and nurses rave on about how 'mad' I am.
I'm mad, indeed. If they the saw things that I do every night in my dreams, they'd be mad too.
If they had to watch their families get burned alive and know that they could do nothing to save them, would they not be mad too?
I'm mad. That's all I ever hear them say. Every night they mock me about Wonderland, and every night it's the same conclusion, I'm mad.
I'm mad. Ha, I'd like to see them have to slaughter their way through card guards and Boojums and see if they don't go mad, with their long sharp pikes, and the death curling screams that terrorifies the soul.
I'd like to see them hear the screams of their lost loved ones every night and see if they don't go mad.
Every night when I close my eyes, I see the hellhole that Wonderland has become. Don't they understand? The fate of Wonderland rests in my hands, if I fail, not only will Wonderland never be freed, but, I will be forever trapped in this looming insanity.
Everyday I look up at the ceiling and I wonder, can I do it? Can I free Wonderland and save my sanity?
Then I hear a voice in my room, smooth and articulate, whispering words of wisdom and comfort to me.
I turn my head slightly to see my Cheshire cat sitting in the chair next to my bed.
"Cheshire, why do they mock me? Why won't they stop saying that I'm mad?" I asked.
Cheshire sighed and jumped onto the bed to face me.
"That's because to some degree, you are mad, my dear, Alice. Do not worry though, everyone here is also mad to some degree. They just either don't realize it, or, don't want to admit it." Cheshire said.
"Is everyone in this world truly mad, Cheshire? It doesn't seem that way." I said.
"My dear, sweet, Alice. Things are not always as they seem. There is really no such thing as sanity. Like I said, everyone is mad. Sanity is just a delusion that people use to keep themselves safe because they fear the unknown, and don't trust what cannot be explained." Cheshire said.
"Well, I want to be sane, so, I guess I'm no better than the rest of them." I said.
Cheshire smiled and lifted my chin up with his paw. For being a mangy cat, he always was pretty strong.
"Why do you say that, Alice? You're so much better than the rest of them." Cheshire said.
Really? Why is that?" I asked.
"Because, you were willing to learn the truth. You understand what it's like to live in some insane nightmare. You don't shrug us off as 'only in my mind'. You were willing to see what was beyond the looking glass. You believe dearly that we exist when noone else does. That why you are able to see us and they cannot.
They don't see what's right in front of them. People fear what they really are, so they block us out. You, however, managed to see through all that and had the pleasure of seeing Wonderland for what it really was before the queen destroyed it. It's thanks to you that we are still alive Alice." Cheshire said.
I was speechless. I never imagined that I would have been the one responsible for keeping Cheshire and the rest of Wonderland alive, and all because I believed that they existed, because, I loved them all. Especially the mangy cat that sat in front of me this very moment. It brought tears to my eyes.
"Alice, why are crying, sweetheart?" Cheshire asked. His grin turning into a concerned frown.
"Because, I never realized that I had such a strong impact on you all. I never knew that you needed me in order to stay alive." I said.
Cheshire smiled again and wiped my tears away with his tail. It felt strange, but, comforting. He sighed and laid down next to me on the bed.
"Believe it or not Alice, but, you and you alone have the power to determine the fate of Wonderland. The queen does not realize this though. She was the one who ordered the card guards to start the fire that killed your parents. What she didn't count on though, was the fact that you survived. That's why Wonderland hasn't died yet, despite how sick and twisted it has become. She doesn't realize that you have the power to kill her." Cheshire said.
My eyes went as wide as tea saucers and my jaw dropped. I could not believe what I hearing.
"Cheshire, what makes you think I have what it takes to kill her?" I asked.
Cheshire laughed and laid his head on my shoulder to look up at me.
"Because, you are the only one who ever had enough courage to stand up to her. Others have tried, but, they have either died, or gave up, and let themselves get plunged into her eternal madness. You are the only one who survived and didn't give up. Even some of Wonderland's inhabitants have given in to the evil that the queen has infested upon us." Cheshire said.
"Cheshire, is it really as bad as all that?" I asked.
"It's worse than you can imagine, Alice." Cheshire said.
He began to cry softly into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him in a comforting hug and began to gently pet him.
"It's alright, Cheshire. Everything's going to be fine. I promise." I said.
"You don't understand, Alice. Yes, as long as you believe that Wonderland is real we will live, but, if you fail to kill the queen we'll never be freed and you'll be trapped in her madness forever!" Cheshire sobbed.
I closed my eyes and sighed. I continued to pet Cheshire as he sobbed openly in my embrace. I began to hum softly, and it seemed to calm him down. His sobbing became soft whimpers.
"Don't worry, Cheshire. I'll take care of her and make everything right again." I said.
He looked up at me with teary eyes and I softly scratched behind his ears, making him purr.
A strange feeling then came over me. I found myself wishing at that moment, that Cheshire was human instead of a cat. Almost as if he could read my mind,(and I wouldn't be surprised if he could) he shot his head up and with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he jumped off the bed.
"Oh, I almost forgot. There's something I want to show you, Alice. This is only between you and me, though. You can't tell anyone when you come to Wonderland. I haven't told anyone because I don't want the queen to find out." Cheshire said.
I was dumbfounded. How is it that Cheshire confides more in me than the other remaining good residents of Wonderland?
"I won't say word, Cheshire. I promise." I said.
He smiled and vanished. When he reappeared, I nearly had a heart attack. He was no longer a cat. He had somehow managed to become a man, and quite a handsome one at that. He was tall, at least 6 foot, with a slender build, soft black hair and hazel eyes. He looked like one of the male assistants who worked here. The only one that was actually nice to me.
"Che… Cheshire? Is that really you?" I asked, still not believing what I was seeing.
He smiled and walked back to my bed and leaned down next to me.
"Yes, Alice. It's me." Cheshire said.
"But how?" I asked.
"A new ability that I learned sometime ago. I never said anything to anyone in Wonderland, because knowing the queen; she would try to use me as bait to get to you. Her madness is the worst type that I've ever seen." Cheshire said.
"You look like one of the guys who work here. The only one who's actually nice to me." I said.
Cheshire smirked and chuckled. I raised an eye brow in confusion. He leaned over until our cheeks were touching. I could feel his warm breath on my neck.
"If you mean Alex Gomez then, surprise, surprise, my dear." Cheshire said.
I gasped. Cheshire chuckled and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I went rigid. I couldn't move for a moment. The only sound that heard was that of my heavy breathing.
"Alice, are you alright?" Cheshire asked.
I didn't respond at first. I was still getting over the shock of letting what I had just seen and heard sink in.
"Alice? For god's sake, Alice, answer me!" Cheshire exclaimed, shaking me lightly.
"I, uh.. I'm alright. I'm just kind of shocked, that's all." I said.
"Don't do that, Alice. You scared the carp out of me." Cheshire said.
I smiled weakly. I really hadn't meant to scare him, but, surely he expected me to have that type of reaction.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." I said.
"It's alright, dear. I was just worried that I had put you back in that damn catatonic state." Cheshire said.
I laughed and shook my head. Then a realization hit me.
"It was you the whole time, wasn't it Cheshire?" I asked.
Cheshire smiled and nodded. He gently stoked my cheek with his hand and I blushed.
"Yes Alice. I had to protect you from the all those doctors who wanted to put you to sleep." Cheshire said.
"Put me to sleep? Cheshire, I don't understand." I said.
Cheshire sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Since you were always in that catatonic state, the doctors all figured that since they couldn't wake you, that they should just put you out of your misery." Cheshire said.
"You mean they were going to kill me!" I exclaimed.
Cheshire nodded.
"Yes, they were, Alice. That's about the same time I learned how make myself look human. I made up the name that I use, and applied to work here so I keep an eye on you." Cheshire said.
Tears came to my eyes. I could not believe that all those doctors wanted to kill me, and for absolutely no reason at all. It wasn't fair. If Cheshire hadn't been here, I would surely be dead by now. Cheshire smiled and wiped away my tears.
"Don't worry, Alice. You're alright now. I won't let anyone harm you. I managed to convince the doctors not to kill you." Cheshire said.
"For the last ten years, you've been watching me, haven't you? Even before you learned how to change form?" I asked.
Cheshire nodded and blushed. I giggled.
"Yes Alice. Ever since your first visit to Wonderland, I have watched over you and protected you. At first, through Dinah, than some alley cat that hangs around here, and now as Alex Gomez." Cheshire said chuckling.
My jaw dropped. I knew that Cheshire was not an ordinary cat, but, I never really did understand the full extent of his powers.
"You never cease to amaze me, Cheshire." I said.
Cheshire smirked.
Yeah, I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" Cheshire asked.
I laughed. Cheshire was always quite the joker.
"So Cheshire. When will I be able to return to Wonderland?" I asked.
Cheshire's smile turned into a frown.
"Why are you so eager to go that hellhole?" Cheshire asked.
I smiled.
"Because, the sooner I get to Wonderland, the sooner I get to kill the queen, and the sooner that bitch is dead, the sooner you and the rest of Wonderland will be free, and then I'll finally get to leave this god awful place." I said.
Cheshire sighed.
"I wish you didn't have to see what a nightmare Wonderland has become. I hate to see you so tormented." Cheshire said.
I smiled and reached up to stoke his hair.
"Alice, I…" Cheshire's voice trailed off.
"Is that why you won't let me go back, Cheshire? Don't you understand? Wonderland is every bit a part of me as I am a part of it. Your pain is my pain. That is why I want to free Wonderland. I want to free you all from the evil nightmare that the queen has brought upon you all. Only then, will my mind truly be at peace, and although I understand that I'm mad, I will finally be free from this never ending insanity." I said.
"I never saw it that way, but, you're right Alice. I don't understand how or why, but, there's a tie that binds us together. That's why I personally took it upon myself to watch and protect you." Cheshire said.
"I feel closer to you than I do to the others, though. Yes, I do care about them all, and I really do want to help them, but, you are the only who seems to truly understand me. You believe in me, and you're there whenever I need you." I said.
Cheshire's eyes became watery with tears. He smiled and held my hand.
"You know I do would anything for you, Alice." Cheshire said.
"Yes, I know. I want to return the favor, and protect you, just as you have protected me." I said.
Cheshire closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. I gently wiped it away and he sighed. I stood up and gave him a tight hug.
"Thank you, Alice." Cheshire whispered in my ear.
I smiled. I lifted my head up to look at him. I began to stroke his cheek and he blushed. Then I slowly reached up and placed my lips on his in a soft kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, and closing his eyes, he deepened the kiss. At that moment I understood why I felt so close to him. I was shocked to say the least, but, I was happy. At that moment I realized that I loved him.
After a few minutes we pulled apart and looked at eachother.
"I…I can't believe you that." Cheshire said.
"Me niethier. I'm glad I did though." I said.
"So am I. I love you, Alice." Cheshire said.
"I love you too, Cheshire." I said.
He scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to my bed. He lay down next to me and I snuggled against him. He sighed and began stroking my hair.
"You look so tired, Alice. Why don't you try to get some sleep?" Cheshire said.
"Will you stay with me until morning?" I asked.
"Of course I will. Now try to get some rest." Cheshire said.
I sighed and closed my eyes. Cheshire wrapped his arms around me.
"Sleep well my love, and remember, we're all mad here." Cheshire said.
"I will, Cheshire. Thank you." I said.
I opened my eyes again only to find that Cheshire had already fallen asleep. I smiled and kissed his forehead.
~Sleep well, Cheshire. Don't worry, as god is my witness, I will kill the queen and set you all free. Then I'll be free to leave this place. Until then, I'll just sleep by your side.~ was my last thought before falling into a calm, peaceful sleep in Cheshire loving embrace.
A/N: Well, I hope you all liked my little prelude. Cheshire remained in human form BTW. R/R.