Just a little one shot. Please don't be shy; please leave a review to let me know what you think :-)

Joseph Byrne felt butterflies in his stomach as he sat waiting on a cold December afternoon for her, the love of his life. He had booked a room in the hotel they always used to meet up since he had left Holby. They had met up a handful of times, keeping the rendezvouses secret between two of them. He remembered their last meeting a little over a year ago when she'd told him she'd met someone. He could still feel the bitter disappointment as he realised she'd fallen in love with this one, it hadn't been a mere flight of fancy for her. They hadn't made love in that encounter but they had spent the night together anyway, laying together and talking. He remembered watching her sleep as he thought through the choices and possibilities available to him. He had let her go that morning, telling her if she wanted to make a go of it with this man then he wouldn't contact her again. He had kissed her cheek lightly as he added she could contact him anytime she needed to and he would always answer. He remembered her coy smile as she left the room without another word passing between them.

When he returned home he had proposed to Jennifer. He thought they could make it work, she was his friend after all and Harry liked her. The pair of them were under no allusions they were kindred spirits or destined lovers brought together by fate. They knew each other's history's and enjoyed each other's company, they shared an easy going-ness which they felt sure could last them a life time. That was until Jenifer had realised she was falling in love with someone else and it had consumed her in a way she'd never imagined. She hadn't cheated on him, of that Joseph was sure, but he couldn't deny his faithful friend a chance to experience love as he once had.

A sharp knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. He hurried across the room to answer it, unsure of why she'd called him but grateful for the chance to see her once more.

'Hi' she smiled shyly as he opened the door. Her long red hair was loose, tumbling down her back as always, her skin pale and her eyes pale green just he had remembered her. There was a slight flush to her cheeks and her gait was altered due the vast roundness of her stomach.

'My god Jac' Joseph let his mouth fallen open in shock as he took in the pregnant appearance of his lover.

'Aren't you going to let me in Joseph?' she smiled shyly again and Joseph could see her confidence had also been altered. The Jac Naylor he knew would have simply pushed past him, declaring there was no need to gape at her pregnant appearance.

'Of course' Joseph tried to give her a reassuring smile as he stepped back allowing her to enter the hotel room. He took the coat she carried over her arm, closed the door behind them hanging the coat on the hook as he did so and watched as she stood unsure of what to do with herself now she was here.

'This was stupid' she muttered finally 'I never should have come here, I shouldn't have called you.'

Joseph placed a hand on her arm as she tried to walk past him back out of the door 'Don't go' he spoke softly 'I'm glad you called' she raised her eyes to meet his 'I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too' she whispered 'you have no idea how much'

Joseph gently turned her round and led her over to bed 'sit down' he commanded her 'and tell me why you wanted to see me, you owe me that at least' he kept his voice soft, not wanting to frighten her into closing off. He watched as tears built up her beautiful eyes and spilled down her perfect cheekbones. 'Don't cry' he whispered to her now as he sat next to her on the bed 'please don't cry' He lent his forehead against hers and cupped the side of her face with his hand as he whispered 'nothing could possibly be so bad so as to make Jac Naylor cry' he took courage from the soft snort of laughter that escaped her lips 'how far along are you?' he decided to start with small questions.

'33 weeks' she answered as Joseph wiped away her tears for her with his fingers.

'Not long to go now then' Joseph smiled as Jac nodded 'what about the baby's father, is he the one you told me about the last time we met?' he watched as Jac nodded her head once more. 'Is he still involved?' Joseph asked the question even though he was sure of the answer.

She shook her head as she answered 'he found someone else'

There was such hurt in her voice Joseph found himself unable to resist kissing her lips. 'The man's a fool' he informed her breathlessly as they broke apart.

Jac shook her head 'no, I'm the fool I kept pushing him away. I made myself so unlovable I practically drove him into her arms.'

'You' Joseph lightly kissed her again 'are not unlovable. I love you Jac Naylor, you couldn't push me away no matter how hard you tried. I would fight for you' he kissed her again and this time she responded, kissing him back, running her fingers through his dark hair, allowing herself to be enveloped in his embrace. 'I was a fool to leave you' Joseph gasped as their lips parted 'A few secret meetings were never enough, would never be enough'.

'You had to' Jac smiled kindly at him 'you did it for Harry.'

'I should have married you' Joseph smiled sadly at her, his words full of regret.

'I heard you got divorced' Jac's face turned serious and Joseph knew she was going to demand an explanation from him.

'I've learnt the hard way, you should never marry your best friend' he shrugged embarrassedly, hoping she would let the matter drop.

'Why didn't you tell me about her when we last met?' She moved away from him slightly 'why did you let me know by way of wedding invite?'

'I'm sorry' Joseph's face was full of regret 'I guess I hadn't thought seriously about Jennifer until I proposed, she is and always will be my good friend. We let a casual arrangement between us turn into to something it wasn't'. He reached out and softly stroked her silky ginger hair 'I wasn't having my cake and eating it too by still meeting you, I swear Jac. You weren't my mistress but if you remember we agreed that we wouldn't hold out for each other.'

'The wedding invite was still hurtful' Jac brushed his hand away from hair, letting him know he wasn't forgiven for not being honest with her about his casual fling with Jennifer, however non-committal their own arrangement might have been.

'I'm sorry' Joseph meant the words as he spoke them, willing his words to undo any hurt he might have caused her.

She nodded her head to show she acknowledged his efforts. Her hands flew to the roundness of her stomach as the baby kick hard in her uterus. Joseph felt his heart melt as he witnessed the small smile that played at the corners of her month as she felt her own child move beneath her palms pressed against her stomach.

'You love this baby' he spoke matter of factually having always known of what Jac was capable.

'Yes' she smiled at him, pleased he hadn't sound surprised. 'She's a good kicker though, likes to torment me at the most inconvenient of moments.'

'You're having a girl?' Joseph grinned openly, imagining what a little girl of Jac's would look like. 'I'm sure she'll be just like her mother then.'

'Yes' Jac laughed delighted at his enthusiasm at her news.

'Can I?' Joseph held out a hand towards her stomach, unsure if she would let him feel her baby's movements. She hesitated for a moment before nodding and smiling. He gently placed his hand on her bump, not feeling anything but the warmth of her body and the softness of her navy sweater. Jac wordlessly took his hand in her hers and moved it across the expanse of her abdomen 'wow! I see what you mean!' Joseph smiled as Jac gently guided his hands over her child's movements 'she is quite the little mover'. He could tell Jac was enjoying feel of his kind hands, he guessed not too many people had been privileged to feel the movements of her growing baby. His heart beat with the intensity of his love for this woman and now it was filled a little more for the connection he felt for her child, the blood and flesh of the love of his life. 'You look so beautiful when you smile' he spoke suddenly to her. He laughed softly as he witnessed the blush of this unwanted attention spread across her cheeks. She looked down concentrating on their hands entwined together, pressed against her stomach. 'Come and live with me, leave Holby' Joseph spoke urgently to her 'it can be just you, me, Harry and this little one together. No one else to interfere.'

She shook her head as she stood up, letting his hands fall away from her body 'I shouldn't have come' she spoke as the moment was shattered by his silly fantasy. 'Life cannot be made to be perfect Joseph, I thought you would have learnt that by now.'

'Why can't it?' Joseph took hold of one her hands to prevent her from leaving. 'Why couldn't we try it?'

'Because it would be complicated' Jac sighed at Joseph 'this baby has a father who still wants to see his child for a start.'

'That's not a problem he can still see his daughter, I can be civil to him' Joseph pleaded with her.

'What about poor Harry? You'd really expect him to just accept me and screaming baby entering his life in an instant?'

'He's very resilient for a four year old' Joseph smiled as he thought of his son 'besides I seem to remember he took an immediate liking to you when we were last a couple'

'He was a new born then, babies are accepting of anyone who change a nappy and feed them a bottle' Jac rolled her eyes at him.

'It was more than that. You loved him, I could tell' he watched as Jac sighed with frustration and made to pull her hand away from him. He grasped it a little tighter, to stop her leaving, as he quickly spoke 'if you tell me you don't love me I'll let you go. I promise I'll let you go back to your life in Holby and I won't contact you again but I have to hear you say it'.

She stood in silence for a while watching the confident look on his face knowing he knew she couldn't deny her feelings for him. The truth was she longed and ached for him. His touch did something to her she had never experienced with anyone else, static electricity was the closest she could come to describing it. 'You know I love you Joseph, I always will' she allowed him to pull her into his embrace and responded to his triumphant kiss. She permitted herself to fall backwards onto the bed, enjoying the kisses in spite of herself as they made themselves comfortable on the double mattress.

'Why did you ask to see me?' Joseph asked breathlessly as he lay beside her, his legs entwined with hers. He could feel the bulge if her abdomen resting against his stomach and he wanted this moment to last a life time.

'Because I needed to' she softly brushed her lips against his 'I needed to hear your voice and to be near you' she kissed him passionately, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He helped her to remove this item of clothing, tossing it carelessly somewhere into the room. When he turned back to her it was to find she had removed her light sweater revealing a vest top she had on underneath. He kissed her neck, taking note of the small mummers of pleasure she was making from this action. He let his hands wonder down towards her bump, sliding them under the white cotton material, feeling the taught skin that contained her child. He felt Jac freeze beneath him as he made to remove the item of clothing.

'What's wrong?' He paused in his actions as he looked at her with concern in his eyes.

'Just leave the vest on, ok?' she tried to be nonchalant about it, kissing him again and running her hands down his back, tracing his spine with her fingers.

'Wait' Joseph pulled away from her slightly and removed her hands from his body, holding them in his own 'since when have you been shy about your body with me?' he laughed softly 'I've seen you naked lots of times before.'

'Not like this you haven't'. She looked away from him 'I look fat and ugly. Grotesque even.'

'Is that what he told you?' Josephs voice was full of concern. He watched as Jac shook her head. 'I'm guessing his skipping off with another woman was hardly a confidence booster.' He smiled down at Jac feeling his heart melting at her sudden vulnerability. 'Look at me' he commanded her softly. He watched as her pale green eyes met his 'you'll always be beautiful to me' he kissed her softly 'you are not fat or grotesque you are letting your body do the most beautiful thing, growing another life' he watched as a soft smile started to form on her lips, believing in his words. He pulled her arms above her head and let go of her hands, quickly seizing the moment to remove the vest top, pulling it over head before she had time to protest. 'You see Ms Naylor' Joseph smiled to her, kissing her cross frown as he ran his hands over the expanse of her stomach 'pregnancy suits you, you look exquisite'

She laughed softly, her annoyance forgotten. 'This is why I called you Joseph, I needed you to make me feel better, to make me feel loved.' She spoke the words softly before she resumed her passionate kisses, wanting to show him how much she loved him in return.

Joseph was awakened from his light sleep by the sound of muffled crying. He blinked a few times to allow his eyes to become accustomed to the gloom of dusk now the afternoon sun was setting. He rolled over slowly onto his side to see his lover turned away from him, her shoulders shaking with the force of her muffled sobs.

'Jac?' he spoke softly, unsure if she was awake or dreaming. She didn't answer him but Joseph could tell by the way she was trying to exercise self-control she was awake. 'What's wrong Jac?' he asked her as he moved as close to her as he could, wrapping his arm around her and resting his hand on top of hers were it lay protectively on top of the swell of her stomach. She still didn't answer him, she continued to cry unwanted tears. 'You haven't told me everything have you?' he spoke softly to her, kissing her shoulder. 'I'm here Jac, whenever you're ready I'm here'. He held her in silence for a few minutes, until she had composed herself enough to speak.

'The baby' she took a couple of deep breaths 'she has CDH'.

'Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia?' he watched as Jac nodded. 'oh, Jac I'm so sorry' he spoke empathically as he realised the implications this could have for Jac and her unborn child. He held her as her body shook with the force of her sobs. 'I can't believe you've been dealing with this all alone'. He felt the baby show her distaste for her mothers distress with a volley kicks under his hand. 'Hey, come on' he comforted Jac, kissing her damp cheek lightly 'you need to calm down for baby, I don't think she's too amused you've disturbed her sleep.'

Having gained control of her sobbing Jac rolled herself into her other side, with as much grace and dignity as she could muster, so she could face Joseph. 'Jonny, that's her father, his first reaction was to ask about termination' she let her tears fall freely down her cheeks, unafraid to let Joseph see her emotions.

'I have to say Jac, he sounds like a swell guy' he spoke sarcastically to her as her brushed away her tears with his hand 'you sure can pick them.'

'The worse thing is, I booked one. It never even entered my mind not to give her a chance until he spoke the words but then I found myself booking the appointment and driving to the clinic. What kind of mother does that make me?' She buried her face into his bare chest, still ashamed of what she had almost done 'I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say'.

'You are nothing like your mother, I don't ever want to hear you say that again' Joseph spoke sternly to her 'you love your baby, any fool can see that and you didn't go through with it' he reassured her softly now, smoothing her long hair 'you followed your heart and did what you knew to be right.' He kissed the top of her head 'I can't believe this Jonny character still wants to be part of your child's life.'

'I think it was the shock of the diagnosis' Jac sniffed as she moved her head to look at Joseph 'he seems to have come around to the idea of being a father since then.' She looked into joseph's eyes as spoke aloud the words she hadn't dared to mention to anyone else 'if she doesn't survive I'm sure if I will cope. I'm not sure I can endure the loss of this child.'

Joseph pulled down the sheet that was covering their naked bodies, folding it back so both their torsos were uncovered. He placed his hands on her vast bump, feeling the baby as she moved around in her mother's womb. Jac watched the way Joseph looked at her bare body with such tenderness, remembering the gentle way he had made love to her barely an hour ago, each touch and caress filled with affection, warmth and desire.

'She has a fifty per cent chance of making it Jac' he lent forward and gently kissed her stomach were her miraculous growing child lay 'and let's face it if she has your determination and survival instinct I'd say the odds are in her favour'

'But what if…?' Jac let her voice trail off.

'Then you'll still have me, I'm not leaving you this time Jac' he laid himself back down next to her 'I'm going to support you, and care for you whatever happens' he smiled at her as he stroked her cheek. 'I want us to be a family; you, me, Harry and, god willing, baby girl Naylor.'

'You'd really want to help raise another man's child?' Jac asked him seriously.

'She's your child Jac, she's part of you and I will love her for that reason. Besides I seem to remember you were more than willing to help raise Harry, I can't see how this is any different' Joseph could tell Jac was starting to seriously consider the idea 'we could make it work Jac, I know we could.'

'It wouldn't be all plain sailing' Jac warned him

'I know, there's a lot we have to work out.

'We'd need to take it slowly, for our children's sakes as well as our own.'

'Is that a yes?' Joseph smiled at her.

'I want to be with you Joseph, I love you' Jac smiled back at him as he leaned forward to seal the deal with a kiss.

'I think it would be more sensible for me to move back here.' Joseph spoke, excited about the prospect of spending the rest of his life with this woman. 'You have a lot of friends around here to support you.'

'Baby steps, Joseph' she reminded him as she lightly kissed him again 'you need to consider Harry as well.'

'Sorry' Joseph grinned 'I just can't believe we're really going to finally be together'

'Yep, this is it' Jac lightly touched his cheek 'no more messing around, just us two against the rest of the world.'

Joseph lightly kissed her again before asking 'so what do we do first?'

'We just stay here, for now' Jac laughed as she snuggled herself against him.

'Like this?' Joseph grinned as he put his arm around her and moved his body as close to her as could, letting the swell of her pregnant stomach rest against his abdomen.

Jac closed her eyes contentedly as she lay in the arms of the man she loved and who loved her return. 'Just like this' she agreed.