Charlie and I finally found it in ourselves to get downstairs for breakfast, eyes still red and puffy from before as we're both staring numbly at the food in our plates, and I'm pretty sure none of us is gonna touch any of it this morning. She's sipping her hot tea from her cup, eyeing me from time to time.

I found out she wanted to make me a surprise last night, a special dinner or something. When we walked into the kitchen, I saw the counter was covered with tons of food trays and there was also a bottle of wine. A very fine one, too. That girl really knows how to love me.

None of us mentioned anything about the surprise she had been preparing, but I can tell we both feel as if those happy moments that could've been are still somewhat lingering in the room. Well, truth to be told, ever since dr Jenkins told me the news last night, I feel as everything that I thought could've been of my life was dancing right before my eyes. All the hopes, the plans, each single dream I ever had for my future, they're nothing more than void glimpses of the constant scenarios running in my head. An alternate universe that will never happen, and will die with me before it even ever existed.

"Jason…"

"Yeah…? What is it, Charlie?"

"We'll have to go back to the hospital."

Hell no. No palliative chemo. Just no way. I let out the umpteenth shaky breath of this morning, trying to keep it together once more as I dare to look at her. Her beautiful face. Her eyes look just so empty, almost duller than what mine must be like. She curled up into her chair, hugging her knees as her blonde hair falls onto her tiny figure.

"Baby. Uhm, look, you're still shocked, and I honestly don't want to get into a fight right now. But just know that there's no way I'll ever have any more of that chemo shit. And plus, honey, trust me… it's not about how much time I have left, one more month is not…"

"Jase, it wouldn't be for you. Let's say I need to go to the hospital as soon as possible."

Woah, way to go to get me panicking in an instant. And I'm the dying one here! I just rush to her side, sliding my arm around her shoulders and another one beneath her knees. And please, just let me have enough strength to pick her up. "Baby, it's ok, I gotcha, what's wrong?"

"Jase, it's ok, I'm not sick. Really, just calm down." She gently removes my arms from around her body, giving me a weak smile and grazing my nape with the tips of her fingers. I love it when she does that. It always manages to sooth me out.

"Then what is it?"

"I need to get an abortion."

Cold. Plain darn cold. Fucking cold as that's all I feel right now. What the fuck… I can't be dealing with this too. She can't be pregnant. She just can't. I can't have a kid. And I can't let her kill it. But I can't even be there long enough to see my child being born. I can't. I can't do any fucking thing and I can't take it anymore. It's all just a big "can't do". That's all that's left of my life just because a bunch of fucking stupid cells in my body decided to go crazy on me. I think I might lose my mind right now on the spot. This is too much a man can handle in less than a single day.

I think my legs gave out on me or something, it's just that before I realized it I'm sitting on the floor with my back leaning against the counter. She knows this is it, and starts to break down too as she comes to sit next to me.

"You're pregnant?" Yeah, she is. Duh, I know. She's pregnant. My wife is pregnant. I'm supposed to be happy. I'm supposed to go to prenatal courses. Well, most of all I think I'm basically supposed to be there by the time the kid is born. I'm supposed to be there. I'm supposed to be there. That's all I keep thinking of.

"Yeah. That's what the whole surprise dinner was supposed to be for, last night." She grows quiet once more, refusing to keep crying.

"How far along are you?"

"Around two months and a half. At first I thought I had skipped my period due to all the stress that we… well, you know. But then I decided I'd take a test last night and it turned out positive."

She's looking at me through the tears as I kiss her hand. "Just… how could it happen. I've been on radiation therapy for so long… Dr Jenkins said my sperm count was basically non-existent…"

"I don't know how it happened, but it did. And last night I was so happy… so happy 'cause I thought this kid was the miracle we had been looking for. And I just started to get this good feeling that Dr Jenkins would've declared you in remission… But then you didn't come home."

Two months and half. It's not enough. I'll have to leave them by the time she's halfway through month 9. Just two more weeks and I could get to see my kid. Two freaking weeks. I'm going to miss out on the greatest thing in my life by just two weeks. Oh brother. Somebody Upstairs must have a great sense of humor as all of what's happening to me is just starting to look so damn ironic.

"We have a kid. " some things just can't help but make you smile despite anything else going on. "We have a kid, Charlie."

"Don't you dare to say that." She suddenly stands up, letting go of my hand and starting to pace back and forth around the room. "Just don't say that. I'm not playing the excited parent when I have to get rid of this thing in a few days. So just leave it alone, Jason."

"Wait, what?" Even standing up has become a challenge now. I walk up to her and I feel as if the weight of the world was right on my shoulders. I cup her face with my hands, and let my forehead rest onto mine, our eyes being so close to the point that it's hard to tell whose tears are the ones on my fingers. "Charlie… honey, this is our baby. It's yours and mine, and it's gonna be beautiful. And I promise I'll still be there by the time the kid will be…"

"No Jase." Her whispers are almost fading in my ears. "No. I'm not going to have it this way. It's just nothing like how everything was supposed to be. We were supposed to be older, both with a job and… most of all with plenty of time ahead of us. Together, Jase. I can't be a Mom at 21 while being a widow already, too. I'm not going to have to answer to a child asking why their father is not there. A child that would probably look just like you and remind me every day how the great love of my life would be… oh my gosh. I'm… Jase, I. I love you so much…"

Hold her. Hold her tight as she finally breaks down. That's all I can do. Hold her for dear life because that's exactly what it feels like.

A.N.=Alright guys, I know it took me a while to write this, but i hope you liked it nonetheless!

So hey, one big question: do you want Charlie to keep the baby or not?

Let me know by reviewing and I'll continue the story accordingly.

(don't worry, in the next chpt you'll get to find out how Jason dumped Krystal for Charlie *_*)