A/N: hi you probably all hate me because I haven't updated this in exactly 1 million years but here it is. I'll try to update more often this summer.

Disclaimer: Austin and Ally isn't mine.

It's been two years and she'd be lying to herself if she said it hasn't gotten at least a little easier. Because as much as she doesn't want to admit it, the pain isn't as acute, the memories aren't as vivid, and she's still incredibly lost, but perhaps not as hopelessly so.

She doesn't think she's ready to move on. She's just…ready to find some semblance of happiness again because it's been two years and she can count on two hands the number of times she's genuinely smiled in that time. And if she's being honest with herself, a significant proportion of those smiles have been because of Austin Moon.

Ally thinks about this as she's getting ready for work and she's overcome by a wave of guilt so intense she has to sit down for a minute.

What does it say about her that she's no longer completely paralyzed by the loss of her husband? Her child? Her heart starts pounding and she squeezes her eyes shut and takes a few deep breaths.

Trish's words echo through her mind. Take a chance.

She opens her eyes and thinks about the song she wrote last night. She wrote a song last night. Her first song in over two years, and it's a song she's proud of. It has to be a sign, she decides. It's time to take a step forward because she's been living what feels like three steps behind ever since the accident.

She stands up and goes to look at herself in the bathroom mirror. She gives herself a small smile.

She can do this. Take a chance.

So she does.

The day flies by, a slow rush of people in and out all day, and before she knows it it's almost six 'o clock and she has two minutes to meet Austin at the ice cream shop.

He's already there, and her stomach twists a bit in anticipation because she's not exactly sure what's about to happen. His back is to her and he's tapping his foot on the ground to the music playing in the store. She takes a breath before tapping him on the shoulder and he whirls around, his face immediately breaking out into a wide grin when he sees her. "Hi, Ally!" he says happily.

"Hi," she replies, smiling shyly at him. "How are you?"

"Awesome, now that you're here," he answers, and then immediately grimaces. "Crap, that totally sounded like a line, didn't it?"

She laughs. "Not the way you said it."

He smiles. "So, ice cream?"

She nods and they walk up to the counter.

One scoop of fruity mint swirl for her, two scoops of chocolate chip for him, and they both take their cones and walk out of the store, deciding to go for a walk. He insists on paying, and she protests until he reminds her of the drum incident. He's making it up to her, he says.

"Have you lived in Miami your whole life?" he asks.

She nods as she takes a bite of her ice cream. "Yup," she answers. "How about you?"

"Yeah," he answers. "I moved to LA with Dez for a few years with the hope of getting a record deal but nothing really came of it, so we came back. I taught for a couple of years after that while playing gigs around here and about a year ago I finally got signed."

"Taught?" she asks.

He smiles. "Elementary school music."

She blinks, not really having expected him to say that. "I…can picture that perfectly, for some reason."

"Mr. Moon was everyone's favorite teacher," he says teasingly. "It was a lot of fun, actually."

"I'm honestly surprised you had the patience for it. I teach music lessons at Sonic Boom and sometimes I want to rip my hair out," she laughs.

He shrugs. "You must be doing something wrong."

Her jaw drops in disbelief and he laughs at the expression on her face. "Kidding, Ally. Sometimes I wanted to rip their hair out. But when they finally get the hang of the it, it's like the best thing ever."

She nods, agreeing with him. "You're right, it is pretty cool. I remember this one time I was trying to teach my—"

She freezes, stops walking, stops talking. Son. She had about to say my son.

Austin takes a few steps before realizing she's not next to him anymore and he looks back, his expression immediately twisting into one of concern. He walks toward her.

"Ally?" he asks, hesitantly placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you…are you okay?"

She squeezes her eyes shut for a second and takes a breath. It's too early to tell him, she knows. They barely know each other and the last thing she wants to do on day one is dump a ton of baggage on him.

"Ally?" he asks again, his voice quiet.

She shakes her head and gives him a small smile. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

He removes his hand from her shoulder and looks at her worriedly. "Are you sure? Do you want to leave?"

"No," she answers quickly. "I just…remembered something. It's nothing."

He frowns.

"Really, Austin, I'm fine. So, who's Dez?" she asks, trying to change the subject.

He looks at her for a second longer, his eyes questioning, but he plays along.

He grins. "He's my best friend. He's a little…strange, but probably the nicest guy you'll ever meet. We live together, and trust me when I say it's never boring. Two weeks ago he brought home a kangaroo."

"A kangaroo?" Ally's eyes widen.

"Yup," he says. "He needed it for his latest video—he makes short films—and apparently a real kangaroo was essential."

"Was it cute?"

"Oh, totally cute," he answers. "It also kicked me in the shins really cutely."

She laughs at the grimace on his face and he grins at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling and his dimples showing, and Ally is hooked. By his energy, his humor, his smile. He's living his life to the fullest and every part of him is bright, happy, content.

Everything she's not.

But as she watches him waving his arms around wildly as he tells her about the llama Dez had brought home the month before, she thinks…maybe, just maybe, she could be.

He insists on walking her back to Sonic Boom even though they wind up at the other end of the mall, where his car is parked.

"You're so lucky," he sighs, repeating what he had said at their first meeting. "So many instruments."

She unlocks the door and holds it open so he can follow her into the store. "Well, now that we're friends, I guess I could let you—Austin!"

He's past her in a flash, seated at the drum kit in the corner before she even knows what's happening. "I've been drooling over this drum kit for the past six months," he confesses. "I know you have a 'no playing the drums in the store' policy but…"

He looks at her with wide, hopeful eyes, and she can't even bring herself to pretend to protest. "Go ahead," she says, shaking her head in amusement.

Austin's eyes light up and he starts messing around on the drums as Ally watches from her seat on the counter. He's grinning like a little kid in a candy store, and she can't keep the smile off her face; his happiness is contagious.

He finishes with a flourish, the sound echoing through the store, and she claps enthusiastically, laughing as he stands and takes an exaggerated bow.

"Let's see what you got, Dawson," he says, walking towards the counter. "What's your instrument?"

She raises an eyebrow. "How about we make this interesting?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Piano. You said you could play anything, right?" He nods. "All right, then try to keep up with me. Whoever makes a mistake first has to tell the other one something embarrassing about themselves."

"Let's go," he says challengingly. "I'm so going to beat you."

She shakes her head and sits down at the bench, making room for him to join her. He grins and bumps his shoulder with hers and she laughs, before placing her hands on the keys.

Ally starts off easy, but she quickly realizes how good he is, and she's impressed at his ability to keep up with her.

"You're good," she mumbles, and she can practically feel his ego expanding. "But can you do this?" she asks, before removing one hand from the keys and closing her eyes.

She plays a complicated piece that she had committed to memory long ago and looks challengingly at him when she's done.

He scoffs. "Piece of cake," he says, and proceeds to copy her exactly.

She takes out her cell phone and grins at the confused look on his face before she plays the melody again with one hand.

His phone buzzes when she's done. "Can you do this?" he reads aloud, and looks at her in amazement. "I so cannot do that. Damn it."

She shrugs. "So spill."

He bites his lip. "You're gonna laugh," he says.

"That's the point," she teases. "Come on. Rules are rules."

"MymiddlenameisMonica," he mumbles, his cheeks reddening.

"What?" she asks, furrowing her brow.

"My middle name is Monica," he says a little more clearly, still refusing to make eye contact, and she bursts out laughing.

"Are you serious?" she asks, grinning. "Do your parents hate you or something?"

He nudges her with his shoulder. "You're so mean, Ally," he whines. "I thought you were all sweet and shy, but here you are, beating me with your mad piano skills and making me reveal my darkest secrets."

"That's Ally D for you," she says, shrugging. "But seriously, Austin, thank you for this. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too," he says. "You're pretty kick ass, Ally D. We should do this again. You could come over to my place this weekend for dinner maybe? Oh, and that way you can meet Dez! I think he said he was bringing home a chinchilla on Friday." He looks at her hopefully and she hesitates for a moment.

She hesitates because she's worried that she's disgracing the memory of her family, her husband, her son. She hesitates because she's not sure what Austin thinks they are. But she mostly hesitates because she's afraid that she could maybe like this guy, and that's something she hadn't really imagined could ever happen again.

Suddenly, she remembers the song she wrote.

Stop hiding out in the shadows.

She smiles. "That sounds great."

His grin lights up his whole face, and she's scared, but she allows herself to think that maybe, just maybe, Austin Moon might be able to light up her whole world.

so sorry that it took me so long to update this; hopefully it will be a bit more frequent from now on!

thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!