Late Night Worries

Poetheather

A/N: So, yeah… I just watched the movie tonight and this came to me. I hope you enjoy it for what it is and not get lost in the ethics involved. :D

So, yeah… these characters are so totally not mine. Disney owns them, lock, stock and barrel. I am merely playing in their sandbox.

Late Night Worries

2

Elsa didn't know what time it was when she woke but it wasn't very bright out, still more night than dawn. Summer seemed like it was always bright but there were a few hours of darkness necessitating the heavy drapes over the windows to ensure that the long bright nights did not interrupt sleep. She had awoken because something didn't feel right, felt different. There was an unaccustomed warmth next to her, pressed against her side, somewhat draped over her. She turned her head and there was the mess of hair that was Anna.

She couldn't hold back the smile that spread across her face at that. This was real. She was snug in bed with Anna, cuddled together. So much of her couldn't believe this was actually occurring as this only really occurred in her dreams. It defied all reason but there was no denying the body lying in her bed and the still lingering warmth from Anna sleeping cuddled up with her.

For so long she had just watched the world through her window moving on, watching Anna play in the garden wistfully and observed the bustle of the city beyond. Being cut off from the world, she had not learned many things except through books. Not that she minded, as she had learned so much that way. No, what she had missed the most was other people and most specifically Anna. She had always loved her little sister and when puberty hit she was thankful for the isolation as it made hiding her growing feelings for her sister easier to bear.

The coronation was the first time since the accident that she had been that close to Anna and it had taken her breath away. Years of practice concealing her feelings had kept her from making a fool of herself but when Anna introduced Hans jealousy rose up within her and she had never wanted to use her power on another human being so much. She had needed to leave the ballroom before she had done something she regretted but Anna kept her there until she lost her temper in frustration. That expression of shock and slight fear on Anna's face spurred her into motion, unable to bear that look.

Climbing North Mountain, she had been prepared to live apart from her sister, not because she wanted to but rather because she could avoid hurting Anna again if she was far away from her. That had always been her greatest fear, and so after she had accidentally hurt Anna again Hans was able to devastate her with simple words alone. Thinking that she had killed her beloved sister had destroyed her. She was ready to die in that moment, as living without Anna was simply unthinkable. Hans killing her would have been a mercy.

Then out of the blowing snow came Anna and her heart leapt into her throat as if she had seen a ghost. When her sister had turned to ice she had lost her mind. She had never told Anna how she had felt and suddenly it was too late once more, and Hans's lie became horribly real. Elsa shuddered, chilled by the image of her sister frozen solid, hand outstretched to protect her. Her heart shattered again in such a short time frame that she knew she would never recover.

Elsa swallowed hard as she walked to the window, pulling open the curtains to look out at the stars sparkling in the slowly lightening sky. Sadness and grief had overwhelmed her and she would have happily died at that moment if it would mean that Anna lived. She had wept for her unfulfilled love and had surreptitiously kissed Anna's neck as she hung there, needing to have at least that before she said goodbye. When Anna's body thawed and her sister hugged her… well she had never felt such happiness. It had filled her to overflowing and she was still riding that high a little bit.

But that merely left her in the same quandary she had been in before, loving her sister and being ashamed and afraid to tell her. Telling her sister, I love you as more than a sister… the looming threat of rejection had frozen her voice, silencing her completely. Just being near the woman she loved would be enough. Just watching Anna achieve her own happiness would be enough. Just being an observer instead of a participant would be enough if only Anna was truly happy. Nothing else had mattered and she was resigned to that fate.

The end result of all this was that when Anna had come in last night and told her what she had… it had been nearly as stunning as both moments out there on the ice of the fjord. Thankfully her voice hadn't stilled and she had been able to risk everything in letting Anna know that she shared that feeling. If her little sister had ever found her diary, that truth of heart would have littered the pages and made it impossible for her to deny. Thankfully it had never come to that.

Kissing those soft, warm lips had filled her with such an upwelling of affection that she was sure that right now she could control any amount of ice with ease. To have her sister in her arms as they slept… it was sheer bliss. She knew that there were things that they could do more physical expressions of their love. The works of Sappho were not unknown to her and she had read as much about the seiðr magics as had been in the library. The Eddas and Sagas had shown her that there was more to the world than she had known before the books had revealed that knowledge. She knew the old laws, that because she had no interest in the opposite sex she would be known as flannfluga, one who flees the male sex organ. These were all things she had learned about by working her way through the vast Arendelle. And she had absolutely realized that she was flannfluga when puberty hit as her desires for Ana crashed into her like an avalanche. No, she knew there was more that could be done but she was still afraid.

If she pushed more, if she did something wrong, this happiness would melt from her and it felt as fragile as a snowflake. No, she wouldn't push but she certainly wouldn't fight things if they developed. When she knew that doing more was okay then she would pursue it but until then her fear would keep her passive. It was the only way she could be sure that this dream was real. She watched the sky slowly brighten, the light slowly penetrating everywhere, filling the city and the mountains with its glow. A stray beam crossed the room and lit up Anna's face.

Elsa had to smile at the disheveled beauty that was her sister. The hair was everywhere and an arm was slung across her face. If you didn't know better you would think that her hair was the nest of some wild animal. However the truth was that she looked absolutely adorable. Watching her there in bed, lying there blissfully asleep, Elsa cast her thoughts back to when they had been younger, before the accident and Anna had amazingly been even more full of energy. Yes, repayment would be just the thing. She climbed on the bed carefully and with a mischievous grin, pounced on Anna.

Anna awoke with a loud 'oof' and blearily gazed up at her sister as if she had lost her mind. Elsa's grin was so broad that it actually hurt a little when she stated, "The sky's awake so I'm awake! We have to play!"

With a groan, Anna tried to roll over but Elsa wouldn't let that happen. She began to tickle her sister who giggled and squirmed underneath her. Unable to resist any longer, Elsa leaned down and kissed her sister. Anna took a moment to respond but joined in happily, tangling her hands in Elsa's hair as it deepened. Once they broke for air Anna asked, "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

Giving her a gentle smile, Elsa said, "Because I love you."

Anna grinned happily, "I love you too. You know… I can get used to waking up like that, though without the tickling."

"Really?" Elsa was a touch taken aback, as she had not expected that response. It was a new idea that thrilled her to the core.

"Absolutely. Being awoken with a kiss is lovely." Anna's eyes seemed to twinkle as she spoke.

"Alright, I can do that," stated Elsa simply, finding it impossible to argue with the notion.

"What?"

"I'll happily wake you every day with a kiss if that's what you want."

Anna squealed excitedly and hugged Elsa. "Yes oh yes! Does this mean we can share the room again?"

Elsa chuckled at the childlike enjoyment that was her sister. "Absolutely, I would be happy to share a room, to share a bed, whatever you want."

Anna goggled at her sister. "You mean that?"

"I do. I love you Anna, more than you'll ever know." Elsa's face filled with emotion that spilled into her voice.

Anna reached up and cupped her sister's cheek, eyes softening as she spoke. "I love you too Elsa."