all i know is you said hello
and your eyes look like coming home
all i know is a simple name
everything has changed
It was his eyes.
Yes, it was his deep green eyes that made Mikasa double-take and almost elbow Sasha in the stomach.
"Oi, Mika! Watch where you're going!"
"S-sorry, Sasha," Mikasa mumbled in response, her thoughts still on the green eyed boy she'd just encountered. Even though she knew that there was no way she'd ever seen the guy before, something about him was just so... familiar.
"Come on, we gotta go meet Jean and Connie for lunch. Hurry up, I'm starving!" Sasha complained, clutching her stomach and miming fainting.
Mikasa barely heard her friend rant on about how hungry she was. She was still focused in that boy. Even though he'd only held the door for her as she walked into the mall, she still felt connected to him. It was almost as if they had known each other before...
Suddenly, Mikasa heard footsteps followed by a crash and an apologetic, "'Scuse me!"
She whipped her head around to see the green eyed boy sprinting up to her.
"You dropped this."
Mikasa looked up and was met with a tan face with a smattering of freckles smiling widely at her.
"Here you go," he said, holding out a scrap of red fabric.
"My scarf!" Mikasa exclaimed, snatching it out of the boy's hand. "Wha- where did you find this?"
"Well, I saw it on the ground after you walked into the building, and I figured it had to be yours, because it looked like the one you were wearing. N-not that I was staring at you," he stammered. "but the red was so vivid, I figured it could only belong to you."
"Oh… Well, thank you. I uh, really appreciate it."
"You're welcome!" the boy grinned. "Well, I'm glad I found you! Now I'd better get back before my friend ditches me," he pointed at a blonde boy standing a couple yards away. "so bye!"
He lingered for a moment, staring at Mikasa's scarf until the blonde boy called out "Come on, Eren! We're gonna miss the movie!"
Eren. The name struck something in her, conjuring impossible images of enormous monsters and impossible technology. Eren…
Suddenly, Sasha's voice cut through the air. "Mikasa! Come on! Do you want to see me pass out on the floor right here, right now? Get your ass over here!"
People all around the entrance to the mall stopped and stared at Mikasa, her face burning bright crimson. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw green eyes, no, Eren, mouth her name in confusion. She could see his lips forming the name Mikasa, and it filled her with a sense of déjà vu, like she had seen it a million times before.
"C-coming," Mikasa muttered, wrapping her scarf around her neck and scurrying over to her friend.
all i knew this morning when i woke
is i know something now, know something now i didn't before
and all i've seen since eighteen hours ago
is green eyes and freckles and your smile
in the back of my mind making me feel right
Later that day, when Sasha and Connie were making plans to get seconds from the ice cream stand (after devouring a whole pizza in the food court), Mikasa couldn't help but think about what happened earlier. Although Sasha had asked her what was up earlier, she just brushed it off.
"It's really nothing, Sash… I just- I guess I got that guy we saw earlier mixed up with somebody that I used to know."
"Well, he did kind of look familiar…"
"You thought so too?"
"Yeah," she paused. "I know! He looked like a shorter, tanner version of Jean!"
But that wasn't why Eren looked familiar, and Mikasa knew it. It was the eyes. She could've sworn that she had looked into those exact same eyes a thousand times before. Before she could put too much thought into how exactly that was possible, Jean spoke.
"You want me to walk you back to your dorm? Those two," he gestured to Sasha and Connie salivating over ice cream flavors, "look like they're gonna be awhile.
Mikasa nodded.
As the two walked back towards campus from the mall, Mikasa figured it wouldn't hurt to ask Jean about Eren. After all, they had known each other since middle school, so maybe he'd remember someone she didn't.
"Jean," she started, "do you remember somebody named Eren? Maybe from middle school?"
"Uh, no. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, it's nothing. Just… forget I asked."
"Okay," he said, elongating the o. "Well, I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow... Bye 'kasa!"
"G'night, Jean," Mikasa said as she hurried up the dorm steps, the crisp December air stinging her cheeks.
She entered her dorm quietly, shedding her coat and boots by the door and crawling into bed with a book. She figured that her favorite story would help her take her mind off of the guy, Eren, who still plagued her thoughts. About ten pages in though, Mikasa was fast asleep.
That night, she dreamt of a huge monster with green eyes and holding onto the boy who emerged from within for dear life; she dreamt of promises and of a rich burgundy scarf, not unlike the one around her neck. Around four a.m, she awoke in a cold sweat, calling out "He's my family!"
'cause all i know is we said, "hello."
and your eyes look like coming home
all i know is a simple name
everything has changed
After waking up from a fitful sleep, Mikasa headed down to the mess hall to get some breakfast with Sasha. The large room was filled with students cramming for finals and trying desperately to stay awake via exponential amounts of coffee. Grabbing a packet of Pop-Tarts from the vending machine, she sat down alongside Sasha, who was deep in conversation with Connie about the various kinds of pancakes offered at the breakfast line.
"Banana is so much better, Connie, come on!"
"Nah, chocolate chip is seriously the best."
"Morning, Sash," Mikasa said, pinching off the corner of her breakfast. "When'd you get back last night?"
"Around midnight… me an' Connie walked around campus a little first. Hey, did you know about the 24 hour coffee cart down by Sina Library? They had fresh muffins! At midnight! Can you believe that?"
"No, I didn't. Listen, what'd you think of that guy we saw yesterday? The one we saw at the mall? Eren was his name, I think?"
"Hmm," Sasha mused. "I didn't really give him much thought after we saw him."
"Oh, okay... I was just uh, wondering if he reminded you anyone we knew, but nevermind." Mikasa chewed at her lower lip and looked at her breakfast disdainfully.
"Judging by the way you're glaring at that Pop-Tart," Connie started, "that wasn't the answer you wanted?"
"It's nothing, just, um, forget I asked, okay?" Mikasa replied, blushing up to her hairline.
"No way! Mikasa, our stoic, unemotional Mikasa, has a thing for mystery mall boy!" Connie shouted, nudging Sasha meaningfully.
"Who does 'kasa have a thing for?" Jean asked, sitting down next to Sasha and Connie.
"Eren, the green-eyed mall guy," Sasha sang, pointing at her friend and grinning.
"Aww, not me?" Jean teased.
Mikasa grimaced at her friends. They didn't understand. She didn't "have a thing" for him, she felt connected to him on a deep and personal level. It was almost as if they had shared a life together, even though that would've been impossible.
As Jean, Sasha, and Connie continued to tease her, Mikasa got up from their table.
"I'm gonna go take a walk and get away from you guys and your ridiculous ideas about that guy I saw, okay?"
"No, Mika, don't go! We'll leave you alone, I promise!" Sasha pleaded, but Mikasa was already out if the cafeteria.
come back and tell me why
i'm feeling like i've missed you all this time
and meet me there tonight
and let me know that it's not all in my mind
A week after seeing Eren at the mall, the nightmares weren't getting any better. In fact, they had only grown more gruesome, until Sasha had to run into the room and make sure Mikasa wasn't being murdered. Every night, she awoke in a cold sweat, screaming out for the boy, tears streaming down her face.
"Sasha, am I going crazy?" She questioned seriously one afternoon, her voice shaking.
"Still having those dreams?"
"Uh… yeah. They're starting to seriously fuck with my head. What if I'm going insane? Sash, I'm getting really worried."
"Mikasa, don't worry about it! I'm sure they're nothing- maybe you just had a really shitty experience in a past life or something," Sasha added, jokingly.
Although Sasha obviously hadn't meant it, something about her words struck a chord with her. Mikasa was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that she had, in fact, shared a life with this boy.
"I'm sure those dreams'll go away in a few days; just relax 'til then!"
But Mikasa was sure they wouldn't. Not until she could talk to Eren. Maybe he was feeling the same way?
So she set out to find out. The entire next day was spent finding this mysterious Eren. Mikasa asked literally everyone she could find if they knew where he was. Even though the light flurries of snow stung her cheeks and stuck to her hair, she walked all across campus looking for any sign of him. Finally, when it appeared that all of her efforts had been for naught, Mikasa ran into, literally, a short, mildly angry looking blonde girl.
"Watch where you're going!" She spat icily.
"I-I'm sorry, it's just," she sighed. "I'm looking for somebody. Do you know any guys named Eren? About this tall?" she gestured a few inches above her head. "He's got brown hair and uh, green eyes?"
"You mean Eren Jaeger? He lives in that dorm over there," the girl replied, rolling her eyes a little.
"T-thank you!" Mikasa stammered, running towards the dorm.
Fifteen minutes later, Mikasa was getting seriously frustrated. She had checked at least 30 doors with no luck. Even though there were still about 20 left to go, her situation seemed hopeless. But even so, she approached the next door, hoping for some kind of miracle. Mikasa paused slightly before knocking on the door, nerves ablaze. Sending up a silent prayer to whoever or whatever might be above her, she brought her knuckles down on the wood.
The door opened excruciatingly slowly and Mikasa was in no way prepared for what was waiting for her on the other side.
When the door finally swung open, all of the air went out of Mikasa's lungs and her eyes filled with tears. There, standing in the doorway, was Eren, looking ass if he hadn't slept in days.
"Mikasa," he breathed. Suddenly, the whole world was spinning as she jumped into his waiting arms . He burrowed his face in her hair and repeated her name like a prayer.
"Mikasa Mikasa Mikasa Mika-" Mikasa cut him off with a fervent kiss, tears streaming down her face.
"I-I thought I was going crazy," she said.
"I did, too."
She kissed him again, this time letting her lips trail down his neck and across his jaw, like she was never going to let him go. Eren sighed and pulled her tighter against him, her legs wrapping instinctively around his waist, like she had done it a thousand times before. And maybe, she wondered, she had.
"Ever since I saw you at the mall," he murmured,"I've had these horrific nightmares. About you. You're always dying, and I can never save you. And now," he kissed her, "you're right here," he kissed her again, "I'm never letting you go."
And, suddenly, Mikasa was home.