edit: I've decided i want to write more oneshots for Frozen because I have a lot of ideas, so I decided to make this a series of oneshots & changed the title, etc to fix it and everything, just so you know! Thanks for reading! :)

A younger Elsa on Christmas Eve talks with her mother, and fights against the rejection that she feels, not being able to join her family for Christmas.

A really quick, short one-shot because Christmas is tomorrow!

Sorry in advance, I just really needed to do some Elsa aangst. I've been meaning to write something Frozen related for awhile, since I've got a lot of Elsa fic ideas, most of them aangst. C;

"Elsa?" She heard the soft knock, and her heart clenched as she tensed, her fingers trailing along the page she's been reading. Hadn't she told Anna to stop coming, that it was only terrible for both of them, that it broke her to send her away? But then it slid open a crack, and she relaxed against her pillow. It was only mother.

Perhaps she was coming to invite her to open presents in the morning! It was Christmas Eve, after all. Maybe, she thought she, Elsa, was good enough to open presents with them this year. A flash of glee propelled her to sit up.

"Yes, mother?" she breathed, her stocking feet landing on the wood floor as she walked over to greet her. Her mom's hair was pinned back in a braid with a headband, decorated with beautiful, red berries, and her dress was a pretty holly color. Oh, they were getting ready for the Christmas dinner! "Are you having dinner now?" Her heartbeat quickened, her eyes hopeful.

"Oh, yes. I thought I'd come see you before we did, though. Anna and your father are waiting for me," she said after a moment, like Elsa had interrupted her thoughts. She wilted. Oh, she was just saying hello. A solitary dinner for her again, then.

"What did you want, then?" Elsa asked, voice soft and broken. Her mother didn't notice, though. She often didn't.

"It's about your presents - " Elsa's heart fluttered again. Oh, surely - "-would you like me to bring them up in the morning? You've got quite a few under the tree," her mother said, smiling like this should cheer her, make her happy. She had presents. And it was up to her, what to do? She twisted the buttons on her coat, biting her lip.

"I - " she swallowed away what she wanted to say, needed to say - that No, she would like to join them, of course she wanted to join them. But she couldn't, she knew. She had to be sensible. Conceal. Don't feel. "Sure, that would be lovely, thank you." Her breath shuddered from her mouth, and she clenched her fists beside her, feeling the tingle of ice coming. She bit her tongue, trying to ward it off, the despair mounting. Not now.

"Oh, good. I'll do that, then, okay darling?" her mother's fingers brushed against her cheek and she looked up, her gaze unsteady with the strain of holding it back.

"Thank you, mother."

"Of course, Elsa. I'll have them send you something up, alright? The cook has made some delicious pie for dessert as well, you'll love it."

"That sounds great," her voice caught and she turned slightly away from her, pulling her arms tight against her, her fingers clenched and tingling as she fought it. "I'll get back to my book, then..."

"Oh, alright. I'll leave you to it," she heard her mother turn and the click of the door as she slid it open. "And, Elsa?"

"Yes?" her head turned, slightly, to catch her mother's eye.

"You're such a good girl. You know you might get too excited if you were to come down with us...Have a good night, okay? We love you."

"Y-yes mother. I love you too," she stumbled, and she thought for a minute that her mother might stop, might comfort her, see the strain on her face. But the door clicked shut and she exhaled a shaky breath, letting it go. A flash of ice, and it rose up in front of her, a wave of it, engulfing her, rushing across the floor and turning it to ice. She stifled a sob, and slid down to lean against her bed frame, hugging herself tight. Her fingers were blue and icy from the pent up magic, and she stroked the slick floor with them absently, her whole body shaking.

"Hold it together, Elsa," she whispered, wiping at the tears that were freezing on her cheeks. The shaking in her hands was so violent, though, that she sat like that, shuddering and crying, for a long time before she could control herself. The pattern of ice curled up her comforter, and it was stiff beneath her head, cold and frozen. Just like her. No wonder they didn't want her to open presents. There was enough cold and snow, without her there. Anna could play out there with mother and father. Perhaps she'd stop bugging Elsa like she had earlier that morning, banging on the door and asking her to play, to build a snowman, ride their bikes, anything, she had begged. Elsa had ignored her.

When the servant came bearing her Christmas dinner, she told her to leave it outside the door. There was a clatter, and then silence, but she didn't retrieve it. She felt too unsteady to move, so she sat as frozen as her curse, calming herself. She hadn't exploded like that in a long while.

"Merry Christmas to me."

-x-x-x

I hope you liked it, and please review maybe? I'd like to improve, yo! c:

Oh, & Obviously Elsa doesn't belong to me, considering we're on a fanfiction site? Yea. Everything to Disney.