(Inspired by the Batman comic of the same name).

"Mi amor! Look what I made for you!"

Heather cringed at the sound of Alejandro's voice. She was sitting in a beach chair at Playa Des Losers by the pool, trying to relax, but that was impossible with Alejandro around. She felt him put something on her head and she immediately yanked it off.

"What is this?" she asked as she held it up to look at it. It was a flower crown.

"A crown made of flowers from the Heather plant."

"Please tell me you at least stole them."

"I would never do such a thing! I had them shipped here, and I paid extra to have them plant new flowers in the place of these. What do you think? Flowers for my beautiful flower."

"You're disgusting," she said as she got up to leave.

She let out a yelp as Alejandro scooped her up in his arms.

"Again with the King Kong act? This is the third time today!"

"I do not want you to strain your gorgeous legs with needless walking. Where would you like to go? We can go anywhere you want, Chica."

"I'll tell you where you can go, you big creep!"

"Oh Heather, your sense of humor is most amusing."

When Alejandro took the Flush of Shame back on Wawanakwa, on the way down he hit his head on one of the pipes, and that nasty bump had resulted in him losing every mean bone in his body and becoming, as Heather put it, a male Sierra.

Speaking of Sierra, at that moment, she came out the door of the resort and snapped a picture of the two.

"Sierra, I said no more pictures. You take one more and I swear I will feed that camera to Fang!"

"But you're so adorable together! The Aleheather fans are gonna lose it!"

"Sierra, may I use your pictures of us to make a scrapbook? I want to remember this time in our lives forever."

"Of course! And while you're working on yours, I'll start on my twelfth for my sweet Cody-kins."

"Cody is so lucky to have you," said Alejandro.

"I know right?"

"Ugh! Would someone please just kill me and put me out of my misery?" asked Heather.

Alejandro looked alarmed. "Mi amor, are you in pain? Please, tell me what I can do to help!"

Heather saw an opportunity and she took it. "I think I might have a headache."

"Do you need pain medication?"

"No, I think a nap will take care of it."

Alejandro took her inside the resort to her room and laid her on the bed.

"Are you sure there is nothing else I can do? I do not want you to suffer."

"I'm fine, you run along now and annoy someone else."

"Whatever you say."

Alejandro blew her a kiss and she caught it. As soon as he closed the door she wiped her hand on the blanket.

"There must be some way to fix this. I'll lose my mind if I have to put up with this much longer."

She racked her brain for a solution, but every idea that came to her was flawed and wouldn't work.

She stayed in there as long as she could, but two hours later it was dinnertime, and there was no way Alejandro was going to let her miss a meal. He came and carried her to the buffet against her wishes.

He sat her down at a table and said, "I'll be right back, mi amor. Don't worry, I will not be gone long."

Heather was just about to run, when Jo said, "What's your problem? Sure, Alejandro's acting all stalkery, but what girl doesn't like a hunk waiting on her hand and foot? I've never even kissed a guy, and he's giving you foot rubs every day."

"Of course I enjoy being waited on, I was born to be worshipped. But this has gone too far, he's creeping me out. I mean, he listens to romantic songs and puts our names in, even when it doesn't make sense. Every time I wake up, the first thing I see is him staring at me like he's going to eat me. It was nice at first, but now every time I look at him I want to barf. I keep waiting for him to handcuff himself to me so that we would have to spend every second together. Don't repeat that, he might actually do it."

Lindsay joined them and giggled. "Heather, don't you see what he's doing? He's doing what you did during the blue harvest moon to get you to like him again. See, I'm smarter than you think."

"He's not faking, Lindsiot."

"It is pretty funny though," said Jo. "You're the only girl on the planet who hates her boyfriend because he's too clingy and lovey-dovey."

"He is not my boyfriend!" Heather cleared her throat and calmed down, then asked, "What about Brick? Is he clingy and lovey-dovey?"

Jo's jaw dropped and her whole face went beet red. "How should I know? Ask his mommy."

Jo got up from the table and stomped off.

"That's one pain gone, now to do something about the other one."

Alejandro returned at that moment with one tray.

"Aren't you eating?" asked Heather.

"I'll just share with you, it's more romantic that way."

Heather shoved the tray in his face and stormed off like Jo had.

"Did I pick the wrong food, Heather? Give me another chance, I'll get it right this time!"

Heather went into the woods behind the resort and didn't stop until she was satisfied that Alejandro couldn't find her. She climbed a tree and went to sleep in one of its branches. The night air was chilly and the branch was extremely uncomfortable, but at least she was away from him.

The next morning, when Heather awoke, she could smell the pleasant scent of pancakes and bacon. Her body was enveloped in warm, silky sheets, and her head was resting on a pillow stuffed with feathers.

She snuggled in the blanket, relaxed and without a care in the world. But then she remembered where she had gone to sleep the night before. Her eyes shot open and she let out a bloodcurdling scream.

Alejandro ran to her and held her in his muscular arms.

"Shh, it's okay Heather, it was only a bad dream. You're safe now, your sexy hombre will protect you."

"What is going on here!?" she shouted.

"Silly Heather, last night I found you way up high in a tree, shivering and about to fall to your death. I brought you back here, and now I've brought you breakfast in bed. Shall I rub your feet while you eat, my darling?"

Heather jumped out of bed and darted out of the room.

"Heather, wait!"

She ran out on the beach, past the other losers as they were eating breakfast. She stopped when her toes hit the shoreline, and an idea struck her. A deviously brilliant idea. Alejandro quickly caught up with her.

"Heather, what am I doing wrong? Why do you keep running away from me?" he asked, his face full of concern.

Her plan had put a wicked smile on her face, but she immediately wiped it away. She let tears run down her cheeks as she turned to him and said, "You know perfectly well why I keep running away."

"I do not understand."

"How did I end up here at this stupid resort?"

Comprehension dawned on his face. "Heather, I know I'm the one who got you eliminated, and I am so sorry, I'll never stop being sorry. It was selfish of me to trick you like I did, there's not a day that's passed that I haven't wished I could go back and take your place. I'm trying to make things right, why won't you let me?"

"You went too far. Now I'll never have a million dollars, and every time I look at you, all I see is the giant toilet you made me get flushed in."

"Please forgive me, Heather! Oh please! I'll do anything, anything!" he begged. He got down on his knees and kissed her feet.

"Well, I suppose there might be one way you could make it up to me."

"Name it!"

"Steal one of the boats for me and row us to Boney Island."

That clearly was not what he had expected. "Que?"

"You heard me. I want to take a vacation to nice, scenic Boney Island."

"But Heather, Boney Island is extremely dangerous. We're not even allowed over there since we've been eliminated."

"What's life without a little risk?"

"But why?"

"Are you questioning my judgment? Do you not think I can make decisions for myself? Maybe I should just go to Boney Island on my own, and hope no wild animals tear me in half. See you later, pal."

"No, no! I'll go with you, just let me ask for permission to use one of the boats-"

"There's no time, I want to go now! Steal one or I'll swim there."

"Okay, I'll steal one! But I'll have you know it goes against everything I stand for!"

Alejandro went to find a suitable boat, and while he was preparing it, Heather went to the kitchen and collected the blood in a pitcher from the raw meat being prepared for spaghetti that night. It was gross, but after four seasons of Total Drama, nothing was too gross for her now.

Sam caught her in the act and asked, "Um, what are you doing?"

"What must be done," she replied.

She ran back outside and got in the boat.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather just cuddle?"

"Start rowing, Romeo."

Alejandro rowed them effortlessly to Boney Island. As he did, Heather said, "You must be pretty mad at Mal for getting you eliminated. Any plans to make him regret that decision?"

"No, that would be bad sport. And really, I deserved it after what I did to you. He helped me make up for my sin against you, but I know I still have a long way to go to winning back your trust. I wish him all the luck in the world for the million dollars."

Heather groaned and looked away. That was not the answer she wanted.

"What's in the pitcher, mi amor?"

"Kool-aid. Now no more questions."

Once there, Alejandro helped Heather out of the boat and he took her hand. She tried to pull away, but he held on tight.

"What are we doing here?" he asked.

"You'll see," she replied mysteriously.

Just then, Gwen appeared out of nowhere in their path. She let out a scream of surprise when she saw them.

"What on earth are you guys doing here? You were eliminated, remember?"

"We're not here for the game. Now, if you'll excuse us-"

Right at that moment, a wooly beaver appeared and grabbed Gwen in its mouth and ran off with her.

"Gwen!" shouted Alejandro as he took off after it.

"What are you doing?" Heather shouted after him. "Saving her life won't win you the million! She'll never split it with you! She's worthless to you!"

"I'm doing it because it is the right thing!" he called back.

Heather watched as Alejandro wrangled the beaver and saved Gwen. He made sure to do in such a way that both Gwen and the beaver were unharmed.

"Wow, thanks Alejandro. I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. Doing good and helping others makes me happy."

"You asked for this," said Heather as she took the lid off the pitcher and dumped the blood all over him.

"What the-?" said Alejandro as the blood dripped off of him. Suddenly, he was surrounded by mutant creatures of all kinds that wanted to rip him to shreds and eat him.

"Are you trying to murder Alejandro?" asked Gwen as she looked on in horror.

"Not today, I'm just trying to give him his brain back. The survival instinct is the strongest impulse in the body. Once the chips are down and his life is on the line, his natural inclination towards cheating, manipulating, and fighting dirty will take over and save him, and then I won't be stuck with male-Sierra anymore."

Gwen stared at her. "Did you hit your head in the Flush of Shame?"

Heather ignored her and watched to see what Alejandro would do. He took a step back and eyed the animals, and just as Heather was sure he'd make a breakthrough, he took off running and screaming.

Heather considered leaving without him, but in the end, she decided to go after him, since it was technically her fault he was in this predicament.

Alejandro ran until he came to a lake. He jumped in and washed the blood off, and the mutants left him alone.

"I bet you're really angry at me, huh?" she asked hopefully. "I bet there are a lot of nasty things you want to say to me. Let me have it!"

He pulled himself out of the murky water and said, "Have I earned your forgiveness, Chica?"

"Shut up," she grumbled.

They went back to the boat and Alejandro rowed them back to Playa Des Losers. Heather growled at Alejandro every time he tried to speak, leaving him very confused.

All the while, Heather started to worry. Her brilliant plan had failed, nothing changed. Could he be fixed? Was it even possible? Even after the show and she got to go home, he would most likely follow her there like a lost puppy and never leave. If she couldn't fix this, she would never be free again, and she be stuck with him like this forever. It was terrifying.

Three days passed, and Courtney joined them at the resort. Alejandro only clung to Heather more after the incident at Boney Island, and she was on the verge of clawing her own eyes out. Or his. She wasn't picky.

Every day began with breakfast in bed and foot rubs, which in and of itself wasn't bad, except that Alejandro would only speak in baby-talk. Then he would follow her around everywhere she went, giving her no privacy. Every moment of every day he tried every romance trick in the book, but nothing he did could stir Heather's cold heart.

During this time, he became friends with Cameron. The friendship was bizarre in every way, but so was everything else about Alejandro these days.

One day, while Cameron was carrying an armload of books, Lightning dropped a banana peel in his path.

"Cameron, stop!" said Alejandro. He removed the peel and threw it away. "You're safe to go, bromigo."

"Thanks, Al," said Cameron.

"Aren't you going to kick the pipsqueak's butt for calling you Al?" asked Heather.

"I don't mind it anymore. Al isn't a bad nickname, really."

Heather gave him a funny look, then said, "You know how you could make me really happy?"

Alejandro's eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas morning. "Making you happy is what makes me happy."

"Push Cameron and his books into the pool."

"Why would I do that? He's done nothing wrong."

"I'm sorry, did you have a point?"

"But Heather, that feels wrong."

"Do you want me to be happy or not?"

Alejandro sighed in resignation. As Cameron was walking by the pool, Alejandro shoved him into the water. He looked to Heather for approval, and she gave him a thumbs-up. Maybe there was hope for him, after all.

But then Alejandro's resolve broke, and he dove into the water and helped Cameron out, and collected his books for him.

"Lo siento, Cameron. I'll help you dry out your books." He looked to Heather, who now had a dark scowl on her face. "Please don't be angry with me, Chica! I tried, I really did!"

"Stop trying to make him evil again!" said Cameron. "Why can't you accept that this change is a good thing?"

"Because it's not! Everything I liked about him is gone. He was my only equal, or he came closer to being my equal than anyone else I've ever met, anyway. He was so evil and manipulative and cunning and ruthless, but now he's nothing but a chocolate covered marshmallow! I miss the game we played, now there's no game. He's not the man I lo-" she stopped herself before she said too much. She had already said way too much.

"Heather, I had to help him. I like helping people," said Alejandro. "I don't want to be evil anymore, I want to be kind."

"But there's no point if there's no chance of winning any money!"

"Some things are more important than money."

"That's it, I can't take this anymore. I'm sorry Alejandro, I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. You brought it on yourself."

No one knew what Heather meant. She went in the house and made a call on the phone.

The phone rang once, then someone picked up.

"I already modified the challenge to make it safer, that intern will be back on his feet in no time, get off my back already."

"Chris, it's me."

There was a pause. Then, "You're not the lawyers. How did you get this number?"

"None of your business."

"I'm trying to do a show here. It's called Total Drama, you should watch it sometime."

"I need you to do me a favor."

"Why would I do a favor for a loser?"

"Because if you don't, I'll post your loves notes to Blaineley all over the internet. Don't think I won't."

He gasped, and she knew she'd hit her mark. He tried to play it cool by saying, "Blackmail doesn't work on me, but I'll do it out of the goodness of my heart. Unlike you, I actually have one."

"I'm sure you do."

"What do you want?"

"I need you to get me the number of a certain special someone…"

The next day, Alejandro was putting together a scrapbook and giving each picture a cheesy, mushy caption. Heather pretended to go along with it as he called her sickeningly-sweet pet names.

"Look honey-bunny, a picture from World Tour, back in the early days. You're scowling at me in this one, but I can see the love in your eyes. I found one of our first kiss on the volcano, I think I'll make it the cover. What do you think?"

"Whatever you think is best."

"Did you enjoy the ice cream sundae I made you?"

"The one in the shape of my face? Oh yes, you have no idea."

Alejandro smiled. "I'm so glad you're finally warming up to the idea of me being a good person. I knew you would, eventually. The power of love can conquer anything."

"Yeah, yeah, love power."

Just then, a boat pulled in to the dock.

"Right on schedule," said Heather, as she got up to meet the person getting off the boat.

"Hey there, hot stuff!" she called as she ran over to him. She threw herself into his arms.

"Sweetie-poo, what are you doing with José?" asked Alejandro as he went to see what was going on.

"Is it not obvious, mi hermano?" asked José with an evil glint in his eye. He had not yet recovered from his fight with Alejandro, and so he had multiple bruises and was walking with a slight limp.

"Alejandro, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but we're over," she said as she looked at José with love in her eyes.

"Over?"

"Yes, over. You're just not man enough for me. You said it yourself, he's smarter and better looking than you are. I deserve the very best, wouldn't you agree? And José is very the best."

Heather went in for a kiss, and José kissed her back. By now, the others had come out to see what all the commotion was about, and they all looked to Alejandro to gauge his reaction to seeing the love of his life kiss the person he hated the most on the planet.

Tears filled his eyes. He sniffled and said, "Well, if that's the way you feel, if this is what you really want, then I'll… then I'll… I'll just have to rip José's lungs out through his ears!"

Alejandro launched himself at José and attacked. José tried to fight back, but he was still injured from their last fight, and Alejandro was being fueled by rage and scorn. Their last fight didn't hold a candle to this, José didn't stand a chance.

All the while, Heather was jumping up and down in the air, cheering him on. "Get him Alejandro, kick his butt! You show him who's boss! That's what I'm talking about!"

Caught up in the moment, Heather forgot herself and latched onto Alejandro's arm.

"Get off, Heather! He's still breathing!"

Alejandro didn't stop until José was only semi-conscious and on the ground.

"You stay away from Heather! And if you ever try to steal her again, or kiss her, or look at her, or even think about her, I'll make you regret the day you were born!"

"It worked! My plan worked!" cried Heather in immense relief and joy. "My boyfriend's back!"

She gasped and covered her mouth as everyone stared at her, and Alejandro said with one brow raised, "Boyfriend, you say?"

"I didn't mean that."

"Oh yes she did," said José from the ground. It was hard to understand him through the blood in his mouth. "She called me and pleaded with me to come because she missed her pathetic boyfriend. I only agreed because I knew how upset you would get seeing us kiss. She was practically crying her eyes out-"

Before he could say anymore, Heather gave him a swift kick to the temple, knocking him out cold.

Alejandro turned to Heather and said, trying to act disinterested, "You didn't mean what you said, did you?"

"Please, one dead donkey is more than enough, I don't need two."

"You've never kissed me with that kind of passion."

"And after the week I've been through, you'll be lucky if I kiss you before the turn of the next century."

"Fair enough. And if I ever put anything before the million dollars again, shoot me."

"If this hadn't worked, I would have."

"How bad was I?"

"Let me put it this way: you were going to make a t-shirt with our faces on it, you were picking out baby names, and you called me sweetie-poo."

"I really hope no one was recording this."

"I've been recording every second of it!" said Sierra. "It's all on my blog. Well, the Aleheather one, anyway."

"I'll never live this down," he said in shame.

"I'll help you take back your throne. You can be the king to my queen. Not that I need a king."

They went by the pool and shoved Jo, Cameron, and Lindsay into the water, and then, hand in hand, they walked to the resort to make up for lost time, already planning strategy.

"Aw, they're so cute together!" said Lindsay as she shook the water from her eyes.

"What are you talking about? They only like each other's evil, and that's when it's not directed at each other," said Jo. "I'm gonna get them for this."

"And now we can look forward to them being evil jerks again," sighed Cameron as he attempted to dry off his glasses. "Oh well, it was nice while it lasted."

"Mal will pay dearly for getting me eliminated," said Alejandro. "One way or another I'll avenge the million."

"That's the most beautiful thing you've ever said."

Once they were alone and out of sight of the others, Heather stole a quick kiss from Alejandro. Quick, but full of fiery passion.

"Don't ever do that to me again."

"As you wish, mi amor."